Chew do you think you are?

Ee by gum - cut it out!

Russian President Vladimir Putin has ordered his players to stop chewing gum and sing the national anthem.

According to tabloid newspaper Zhizn, Mr Putin was dismayed by the sight of the team nonchalantly masticating during Euro 2004 as they lined up before a match.

The paper said he called Russian Olympic boss Leonid Tyagachyov to try and sort the problem out before the Athen Games began.

The message was passed on to Russian football chief Vyacheslav Koloskov, who said: "I told the lads to take their national anthem more seriously.

"Other teams not only sing, they have expressions on their faces that straight away make it clear they are prepared to do everything to beat the opposition.

"And ours? They chew gum and smile."

Maybe that's why the team came unstuck in Portugal.

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It's raining footballs - hallelujah!

Balls, balls, balls

It's going to be raining footballs in schools across Britain if Arsenal and Manchester United serve up a goal feast in the Community Shield.

FA sponsors McDonald's will give 1,000 balls to primary schools in London and Manchester for every goal scored in Sunday's clash.

And if it's a 0-0 draw, they'll get a thousand between them.

So come on lads, an honourable 6-6 draw and everyone's happy - apart from the poor soul who's in charge of blowing up the balls.