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  Monday, 17 February, 2003, 11:05 GMT
It's just not cricket
BBC Sport columnist Derek 'Robbo' Robson on England's Cricket World Cup shambles, indoor athletics and Ryan Giggs.

Narked Nasser

No surprise to hear the England skipper cast doubt on his future after the World Cup.

If I was Nasser I'd be straight up the ECB HQ and demand me P45.

They've left him out to dry. The ICC haven't helped. And everyone's moaning about everyone else.

Mind I have to say when I see the likes of Cake Muncher Gatting blaming the Government for mentioning it might be a bit dodgy in Zimbabwe, it makes me skin crawl.

Mike Gatting
You can have your cake and eat it

Poor Mike who can't quite remember where he was in '82.

I don't know why English cricketers have to behave like the world is nothing more than 22 yards between six spikes of wood.

(Especially when it's an area most of you aren't too s*** hot in.) Perhaps someone could point them in the direction of a newspaper or two next time.

Mind, things might have been better without some of the arrogant toffs who run the ECB making a balls-up of everything.

Tim, the Lamb with the wool pulled over his eyes, can make amends by leaving immediately and taking up some non-executive position on some old school chum's board.

As for the four points and how Zimbabwe got them - well, you can see Big Bobby Mugabe being well satisfied with another unratified victory. It's a bloody shambles.

Have your say

Treading the Boards

Indoor athletics is weird. I don't know why it's such a poor substitute for the stuff outdoors.

Apart from the fact that none of the top runners and jumpers seem to be bothered with it.

Maybe it's cos the track seems so small it's a bit like watching a dog chase its tail.

And what is the point of the 60 metres dash? It just seems like a headlong panic to me.

Jamie Baulch
Sorry, sir, won't do it again

And clearly they've missed a trick or two by losing some of the outdoor events. Indoor javelin would be fantastic.

And if they had a giant dartboard at one end of the arena, you could make it less about distance and more about accuracy.

Perhaps it's just that our teachers at school were such bastards when it came to running inside - every time I see Jamie Baulch's little legs pumping away, I epect to hear an announcer shouting "Walk son, don't run!"

Wilko's double take

Wilkinson and Cotterill look like becoming the doziest double-act in footie since we were treated to the blinding repartee between Graham Taylor and Phil Neal as England coaches.

God knows what they talk about - Pedigree Chum perhaps, since their team keeps making a dog's dinner of it.

Still it's bad enough conceding a penalty for nowt much, without asking it to be retaken cos the keeper moved.

Laurel and Hardy
Another fine double act

I've never understood that rule. Of course the keeper's moved! He's trying to stop the ball going in, you prat!

You might as well not have a goalie there at all if you expect him to stand still and let it in. (Of course if Owen's taking the pen then that might be enough of a distraction).

I say let the keeper move as much as he likes! Before you know it they'll be naming little dances after them.

The AgaDoodek, the Barthez Boogie and the Seaman Shuffle - although I think I already know the last one.

Miss Understood

Ryan Giggs is crap. It's official. He was great and now he's garbage.

Ryan Giggs
If only Robbo's Nan had been here

The idea that Man U fans could be booing him upset a few folk earlier on in the year. But they knew something we didn't.

How could he miss? It wasn't so much a sitter as a kneeling down and begging-er.

My gran could have knocked it in and she's dead - bless her. It's time to cash the hairy winger in and move on, Fergie.

On second thoughts, keep him. It's funnier if he's in that shirt.

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