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  Wednesday, 2 October, 2002, 14:10 GMT 15:10 UK
Crockett and clubs

Lock up your daughters, Don Johnson is in town - and this time it's serious.

The Miami Vice star is swapping his shooter for a putter to take part in the pro-celebrity Dunhill Links golf tournament.

It should come as no surprise that Johnson, whose portrayal of detective Sonny Crockett made him into a true 80s legend, is an accomplished player.

Where better to give those gaudy outfits an airing than a golf course, where fashion and disaster go hand in hand.

Unfortunately, Johnson's intended partner Sam Torrance is too exhausted to take part, following his Ryder Cup exertions.

Shame, what with Don's dress sense and Sam's furry face caterpillar, the rest would have been playing for second place in the bad taste stakes.

Miami Vice
Miami Vice - great clothes

Johnson's Nash Bridges and Tin Cup co-star Cheech Marin teams up with Mark James at the event, which is being played at St Andrews, Carnoustie and Kingsbarns.

A far better idea would have been to reunite Cheech with Chong.

The former partners in crime were huge cult stars in the 1970s, thanks to their celluloid cannabis capers - and imagine the mayhem they could have caused on the links.

One could have created a bong from a hollowed-out sand wedge, while the other popped down the 24 hour garage for Rizlas and chocolate.

The world of sport is well represented, with everyone from Johan Cruyff to Boris Becker taking part - but it's the Alan Hansen-Colin Montgomerie partnership that looks the tastiest.

Rock'n'roll

Can you imagine the mood in the camp if Mr Doubter and Mrs Doubtfire are having a bad one? Let's hope, for everyone's sake, that they produce less of the "shocking" and more of the "unbelievable".

Johnson aside, this year's tournament is bereft of interesting celebrities - given that Michael Douglas and Samuel L Jackson were at the inaugural event.

But hey, there's always Tico Terres - and if you already knew he was Bon Jovi's drummer, then you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Whisper it quietly, golf is the new rock'n'roll - just ask Alice Cooper and Iggy Pop, two of the sport's most unlikely devotees.

Alice Cooper
I'll take the seven-iron please Ozzy

It would be great to see the pair of them walking the course in plus fours and Pringle sweaters - with Ozzy Osbourne and Lemmy on caddying duties.

Sadly that legendary quartet won't be coming to a golf course near you just yet - but one star who will be in Scotland is Jimmy Tarbuck.

Good old Tarby, the self-styled 'comedian' who has still only got his handicap down to nine, despite playing in every pro-celeb event since the 1960s.

Regular partner in crime Bruce Forsyth can't make it this time, so there will be no-one to say "Nice shot Tarby - Tarby nice shot".

And no-one with any decent jokes.

The Dunhill Links tournament starts on Thursday.

This week's golf from around the world

Dunhill Links

Michelob Ch'ship

Samsung Ch'ship

Biarritz Classic

GOLF STATISTICS
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