Istabraq - party animal

By Chris Charles BBC Sport Online

The most astonishing news of the week has to be the retirement party thrown in Istabraq's honour.

Istabraq retires

The bash for the legendary racehorse attracted a host of VIPs, although curiously the mane man had no four-legged friends present.

Owner JP McManus was joined by the likes of Celtic manager Martin O'Neill at a mystery venue in Limerick to celebrate the life and works of his precious gelding.

But how exactly do you organise a party for an old nag? Oh to have been a horse-fly on the wall.

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The venue:

JP: Hiya Bono, JP here - I'm looking to throw a retirement bash for an old friend and thought your Clarence Hotel would be an ideal place to have it.

Bono: Hello JP - great choice. Who's the guest of honour?

Oh no, not Keith

JP: Well it's er, Istabraq, the legendary racehorse.

Bono: Oh. I see. Well I can see things getting a bit messy - so I'm afraid I can only offer you Keith Richards' room.

JP: Nah, you're all right - we're not that desperate.

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The retirement present:

JP: Now we've all clubbed together, Isty, and we've bought you this gorgeous, solid gold carriage clock.

Istabraq: Great, just what I've always wanted. I suppose swapping it for some carrots and sugar lumps is out of the question?

JP: Now you're just being ungrateful. How many times have I told you never to look a horse gift in the mouth?

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The guest list:

JP: OK, I've invited a few of my friends around, but I thought it was only fair to get some horsey-types along for you.

Now let's see - how about Trotter?

Oh no, not The Osmonds

Istabraq: No, she can be a right mare.

JP: Dancer?

No, he'll only start horsing around.

JP: OK, what about Dobbin?

Istabraq: Not that old chestnut.

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The sounds:

JP: Right then Isty, how do you fancy a bit of Crazy Horses by the Osmonds?

Istabraq: Sod that for a laugh, I'm going down the Nag's Head.