Put a lid on it!

BBC Sport Online columnist Derek "Robbo" Robson on why Wimbledon needs a roof, the appointment of Terry Venables at Leeds and Bernie Ecclestone.

The Roof Is Out There

Year after year we've had Sue or Des muttering away darkly about how unlucky we are to have all this rain at Wimbledon.

What do you mean 'unlucky'? This isn't California, for God's sake!

It's England! Where one day of sunshine equals two million white bra-strap marks on otherwise pink women. Rain is just normal.

So if you have a sport which relies on having none of it, then take the rain out of the equation. Put a bloody roof on Centre Court! How difficult a concept is that for the dozy buffers at the All England Club?

People are getting tired of the rain

I can just see them in their leather armchairs, coughing up their gin and its and saying "we never had a roof in our day."

Yeah well in your day, people like me had smallpox and racquets were made from real sheep. Move on, Wimbers.

Tim-berrrrrrrrrrr!

All right, who really thought Henman would take out Hewitt? Be honest, no-one did, least of all the lad himself.

I felt sorry for him this time, cos he didn't do badly. He was just outplayed by the spotty oik.

I could do without Hewitt being so reasonable in interviews too, cos when I watch him play I just want to clip him round the ears for being such a smart-arse.

So can Tim win Wimbers one day? No. Poor lamb's not good enough.

Eltelland Road

Tel saves us again! For a moment it looked like McClaren was being wrenched from the Boro bosom by Ridsdale's bank loans.

I'm the daddy now!

But no, the Barrow Boy has swaggered into Leeds a-clicking his Cockney heels and winking at stout-hearted Yorkshire folk like a regular from Only Fools and Horses.

And he's not really a gamble is he? The only worry with Venerables is the fact that when he signs a two-year contract, he means two years.

Doesn't matter how well he does, he won't be stopping. Oh no, there's whole stretches of the Algarve that the Barrow Boy hasn't soaked up yet.

Aye but welcome back, you dodgy geezer, you.

The Strange Case of Silverstone

I'll be honest, I've never been to the British Grand Prix. My neighbour's strimmer is noisy enough, frankly.

Can anyone see what's going on?

It looks as though Bernie Ecclestone won't be back to Silverstone, now. And it's not because he always sits behind the tall bloke with the afro.

No, Bernie thinks that Silverstone still leaves a lot to be desired as a sports venue, although I notice he didn't sound too bothered about the £45 car park fee or the fact that a three-day pass has been hiked up to £199.

Octagon Motorsports, who run the venue, rejected the little General's criticisms and suggested that 75% of visitors were happy with signage and police directions.

Surely that means that 25% of visitors were unhappy and didn't have a clue where they were going (much like Eddie Irvine).

So I doubt I'll ever go to the British Grand Prix. Oh well, I'll just have to think of summat else to spend that £245 on. I could always buy the Arrows team I suppose.