United take a pasting

As Manchester United launch their own toothpaste, BBC Sport Online's Chris Charles wonders what products they will endorse next.

Manchester United have unveiled the latest weapon in their bid to clean up the Premiership - toothpaste.

The gimmick-mad club are also introducing their own toothbrushes, hoping they will encourage young fans to look after their teeth - and parents to part with their money.

Use United's new range and you could like this...

Both products were launched at Old Trafford's Red Cafe by defender Phil Neville (let's face it, he needs something to keep him busy) and go on sale this weekend.

The toothpaste comes in red and white, but experts predict the colours could change, without warning, several times a season.

There are also fears that some of the brushes could end up in the hands of touts and be passed on to rival fans.

If that does happen, expect to see some particularly clean toilets in the Liverpool and Leeds areas of England.

Depending on the success of the campaign, United could launch a whole range of bathroom products:

Keano mouthwash:
A little harsh but gets the job done. Particularly good at removing obstinate prawn odours.

Beware of the red mist flavour - you could end up with your teeth down your throat.

Beckham tanning oil:
May initially leave you looking an embarrassed shade of red, but persevere and the golden boy transformation is complete.

Yorkie haemorrhoid cream:
Perfect for the person who spends most of the time sitting down.

Cole-tar soap:
Guaranteed for a clean finish...eventually. For best results, re-apply four or five times.

...or even this

Fergie eye solution: Amazing new design from My-lot-wouldn't-do-that Ltd.

Stick a couple of drops in each eye before leaving for a football match and you can see whatever you choose to.

Coming soon...the Luke Chadwick beauty range:
OK, that's stretching a bit far.