This means Waugh, Stevo!

BBC Sport Online columnist Derek 'Robbo' Robson sheds no tears over the departure of namesake Bryan from his beloved Middlesbrough.

Bye Bye Bry

So Captain Marvel is on his bike - thank Christ for that, we thought he'd never leave.

I don't want to slag him off too much - without him we may not have had so many opportunities to lose at Wembley - but he wasn't the greatest manager the world has ever seen.

Apart from anything, a great manager would have quit rather than have the Barrow Boy waft in and make a monkey out of him.

We wish the old gaffer well here in Middlesbrough, the pubs will always be open for an old pal. We've no doubt we'll see you in there sooner or later.

The new boy McClaren comes with Ferguson's blessing - I suppose that makes him a saint now, eh?

Well, Steve, the first thing I'd like you to do is hand Job a free one, OK?

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Waugh Is Over

Is it me or did everyone else realise that when Australia needed 40 off the last 5 overs and Steve Waugh was in, we were doomed?

Watch your back. Waughy old son

There is an air of inevitability about Waugh, like there is with Tiger Woods or Stephen Hendry - or Manchester U-bloody-nited. Just as you've let the thought 'Eh-up, we might be in with a sniff here' get into your mind, these spoilsports ruin everything.

I don't want to sound like Keegan during his Newcastle outburst but I'd love it, I'd really love it if Steve Waugh had an absolutely crap series.

If he dies in mysterious circumstances following the first Test, then come straight round to my house, officers, straight round.

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Holy Moly Goalie!

I turn up for me pub football match and all our keeper can talk about is this Swedish goalie who got a hat-trick the other day.

Terry Harrison is our keeper and has been for a decade and he's never stopped asking if he can't have 'a more offensive role'. I tell him: 'Terry, I tell the ref to eff off - you stay between the sticks'.

Terry'll tell you he's not so much a keeper as a custodian cum libero. (This is a man, by the way, who has been told by doctors that he is likely to need a hip replacement in the next two years).

That Swedish goalie has done nothing but create trouble for teams up and down the land. You've had your glory, now behave yourself.

Drugs Bust

Funny how them cycling teams threatened to quit the Giro d'Italia after the police had found their rooms stacked with illegal substances. I don't think it works like that, does it?

If I get stopped for speeding, I don't get out the car and tell the policeman: 'Right, well if you're going to be like that I'm not going to drive anymore'. I think it's up to the copper to tell me, really.

Any road, if these cyclists want to take these things to get them up and down a few Italian mountains, let 'em. It's bad enough that the poor saps have those team cars driving alongside them while a bloke leans out the window and talks to them.

You can just hear what they are saying to the riders - "Get off and milk it."

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Transfer Tittle-Tattle

Glenn Hoddle's next signing?

Nice to see Hoddle investing in youth at White Hart Lane - Sheringham, Poyet... I hear Tom Finney's still got a decent left peg, Glenn.

Wimbledon Waverers

Do we really need clay court players telling us how to run the Wimbledon Tennis Championships?

These Mediterranean types wouldn't know how to seed a lawn, let alone the greatest tennis festival in the world. And it is LAWN tennis, by the way.

I hate the damn game but it still gets me back up.

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