Easy, Tiger!

BBC Sport Online columnist Derek 'Robbo' Robson bows down to Tiger Woods, but is not so generous to Prince Naseem Hamed and Paddy's Return.

He's Grrrrrreat!

You don't need me to tell you how good Woods is. He's bloody marvellous.

I like a round of golf as much as the next man - which means I like it about 10% of the time.

The rest of the time I'm wondering why I've chosen to give myself the problem of trying to hit something the size of a plum with something that's not much bigger on the end of a long stick.

The amount of things that can go wrong while trying to hit the damn thing are infini... multif... loads of things. And Tiger does all of it well.

He is a freak and a genius. I salute you!

National disgrace: Should jockeys be shot?

By the way why can't Peter Alliss accept this fact without sounding like the old miserable club pro who reckons everybody else isn't trying hard enough?

Cheer up, retire or die of terminal nostalgia!

National Nightmare

How many more times will I lose tens of pounds on the Grand bloody National?

All my horses ran into that damn Paddy's Return. If that nag tries to cross the Irish Sea next year I'll be at the Liverpool Ferry Terminal with a shotgun.

In fact, at one point in the race, there were so many loose horses that the jockeys still on board looked less like riders and more like rustlers.

Of course, trainer Ted Walsh insists that the race should have been run as slower conditions are safer. "On fast ground horses get killed and jockeys get hurt," he tells us.

Well done Ted for presenting the animal rights lot with a perfect argument for banning steeplechases, you berk!

Personally, I have always thought there is a cast-iron method of preventing a horse's death in the National - if you have to shoot the horse, the jockey gets it too. That'll make McCoy and co think twice about it.

Super Celtic?

Who'd have thought the SPL would be so crap that Chris Sutton would look like Marco Van Basten up there?

O'Neill deserves a pat on the back but God preserve us from a league like that. Even Man U have still got some work to do.

To make it more interesting, maybe they could combine the SPL with Nationwide Division 2 so that the Bhoys get a game once in a while.

Can't see Wycombe falling to the mighty 'Gers, can you?

---

Humbled Hamed

Thank God someone's whipped his backside, the cocky little git.

That Mexican has done us all one huge favour. Now maybe Hamed'll start getting into the ring properly and on time and learning how to box insist of showboat.

As the old saying goes - 'A prince can only be a king when he has learnt to be a man.' (Actually, I just made that up but it's not bad is it?)

You calling me ugly?

What Romance?

How does the romance of the Cup produce a final between Liverpool and Arsenal?

Well, maybe it's a last hurrah for Adams, Keown and Dixon who with Winterburn made up easily the ugliest back four in the history of the game. Fair play to them.

The End For Fags And Booze?

Bernard Laporte says his French team can no longer keep drinking wine and smoking fags if it wants to keep up with the English.

I agree, wine is for jessies. You'll be wanting un pint de biere, monsieur!

And correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't Laporte mean 'the door'? And isn't that going to be confusing when the French RU finally show him it?

---

Is Robbo a true Master or did he fall at the first fence?I> E-mail us with your views, but be warned, you might not get off likely when he gives his response on Friday.