Robbo puts the boot in

Derek 'Robbo' Robson hits out at David Seaman, foreign coaches and club mascots in his regular weekly column. He will respond to your comments on Friday.

Seaman's hair?

This continues to be a burning issue - why has no-one said anything and if they have, why hasn't he listened?

Personally, I think Spunky's not the keeper he was, but a ponytail is no way to make up for it.

It also looks like he's melted down the blubber of an entire whale and scraped it through his shiny locks to get that just-baste-me Mediterranean look.

I ask you, who, in their right mind would choose to look like a fat extra from the bad guy's gang in a Spaghetti Western?

Cut it off you steaming idiot. Or get Denis Bergkamp to do it for you. He's got plenty of time on his hands. Perhaps he stays at home watching videos, although I hear 'Planes, Trains and Automobiles' gives him the willies.

At least Henry can still cut it. Mind, I've been doing a bit of babysitting with me granddaughter recently and...Milo from the Tweenies and Thierry Henry - never see 'em in the same room, do you?

Plucky bird

That Ellen McArthur, eh? She's dead small, she's a lass and to top it all, she's the youngest ever person - that's like man or woman - to circularnavigation the globe. Well go round it, any road.

Good luck to you, lady, although I think it's a bit sad to spend all that time on your own. What is she running away from?

And let's not get carried away, Britain. She came second. And she's hardly the first lass to do that.

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Mascot Mayhem

Everyone's been saying Nice Swan Cyril since the Swansea mascot kicked the head of Millwall's mascot into the crowd on Monday night.

It's all right having a laugh about this, but just imagine John Hartson seeing that incident and suddenly thinking it's OK to try and kick an opponent's head off.

It seems to me that mascots don't play their parts very well either. A swan can only really hiss to scare off its enemies. Surely a lion would win every time in real life?

These mascots don't take their jobs seriously enough. I'm not saying that Brighton's mascot has to start crapping on the visitors but mascots have to set an example as much as anyone else. So come on the lot of you - either do it properly or not at all.

Waite and See

It was fun to begin with but now British sport has more foreign coaches in it than the Calais-Dover ferry.

This Aussie bloke Waite might be great for GB Rugby League but enough is enough. My missus says it's good and Britain's getting more cosmopolitan but I think these women's mags will ruin sport for everyone.

Tightwad Tottenham?

David Pleat tells us George Graham wouldn't sign two top quality players when he had the opportunity. My guess is that when Pleat mentioned Keane and Dyer, George thought he was describing Spurs' away performances this season.

Do you agree with the notorious Tees Mouth - or do you want to give him a mouthful back? Now's your chance to e-mail him your thoughts. The best ones will be answered by the man himself as he turns the airwaves blue on Friday.