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By David Sharp
1710-and-a-half: The dust has settled on another day of breathless shenanigans in the SPL, and much-maligned Killie have unceremoniously booted Celtic and Rangers off the rarefied summit of the table. Who would have thought, eh?
Bye for now. I'm away for a lie down in a dark room. Floatation tank. Brian Eno's 'Music for Airports'. The works. Thanks again for all your chat.
I'll be back again on Sunday for the biggie...forget that second-rate display at the closing ceremony of the Olympics - it's the first Old Firm clash of the season. Look out for some REAL fireworks at Celtic Park!
1710: "Eat your words Billy Dodds. Relegation fodder I think not." MattICTFC on My Sport Join the debate on My Sport
Perhaps a large portion of fudge humble pie for Billy to scoff, eh Matt? And that's a euphemism for, erm, nothing...it's just a pie with fudge in it...a humble one...
1708: "A terrible start to the season for United. Even though Killie have an excellent defensive record this season, to only record one solitary attempt on target in ninety minutes, and at home, is unacceptable. Better team won, simple as." zippy27 on My Sport Join the debate on My Sport
1705: All FIVE away sides emerged victorious today. That's amaaaazing! When was the last time that happened?
1704: John Hughes' Bairns are struggling too. Four defeats in a row for them in the SPL. Meanwhile, Motherwell break their winless-streak with their first SPL victory of the season.
1703: "That's the poorest I've seen Dundee United in some time." BBC Scotland summariser Steve Cowan
What's happened to the Arabs this season? They are a pale imitation of their formerly vibrant selves...
1700: "450 minutes without conceding a goal for us. I wonder if Pat Nevin is still tipping us for the drop this season?" KillieJimbo SOFBTRC on My Sport Join the debate on My Sport
More gloating from a Killie fan, but I reckon they deserve the limelight for a change...
1658: "I was one of the Killie fans who wanted rid of JJ last season, but I have to give credit where it's due. Some good buys and he has also reduced the age of the squad in the last year or so. Top of the league tonight - bring on the O/F!" one4colin-neverwull on My Sport Join the debate on My Sport
You've every right to be chuffed with your side today. Killie were written off by most pundits before a ball was even kicked. They'll be scoffing their first slice of humble pie...but can JJ keep his Ayrshire bandwagon going and force the entire pastry down the collective gobs of those mongers of doom?
1654: "Thoroughly deserved win for Caley Thistle and the fans who made the trip down - they had the better chances, and took them." BBC Scotland summariser Stevie Frail
1653: Another sneaky hit-and-run victory for Aberdeen at St Mirren Park. Mackie's sweeping shot from six yards, following a calamitous comedy of errors from the Saints defence, is enough to give Jimmy Calderwood's side all three points.
1652: Mixed fortunes for the two Edinburgh sides today. Csaba Laszlo's revitalised Jambos win for the third time in four games. Sorry Hibs lose again amid a cacophony of boos at Easter Road.
1651: "Kilmarnock have thoroughly deserved their victory and, with the amount of skill on show, Jim Jefferies will be looking forward to the rest of the season." BBC Radio Scotland pundit Steve Cowan at Tannadice
1650: Richard Offiong puts his hands on his head after missing a superb chance to make it 2-2. The Hamilton striker kicked up a melon-sized divot instead of the ball.
1649: The final whistle has gone at Falkirk and Dundee. Excellent away wins for Inverness CT and Kilmarnock.
1648: Three minutes of stoppage time at New Douglas park. Hamilton are running out of time to preserve their stunning home record. They haven't lost there since April 2007.
1644: "There's a crying baby in the background, I didn't think the game was that bad." BBC Radio Scotland commentator Paul Mitchell at Easter Road
1641: GOAL Falkirk 1-2 Inverness CT. Dougie Imrie comes off the bench to give the Highland side the lead. What a comeback!
1640: "Thank fudge! a breakthrough for the Well! can we hold it? madscot125 on My Sport Join the debate on My Sport
Fudge! Brilliant! I think a wee finger of yon popular chocolate treat is what's keeping Mark McGhee so trim...
1639: What did I tell you about all the goals coming at the same time? This is the chaos theory in full flow.
1638: GOAL Hamilton 1-2 Hearts. Accies sub Derek Lyle sets up a barnstorming final 10 minutes with a terrific headed goal. Game on!
1637: GOAL Hibs 0-1 Motherwell. Well take the lead through John Sutton. Hibs are in trouble now. Mixu Paatelainen, the man who looks like Al Murray pub landlord (if he was running a hostelry in the Moomins), will be feeling the heat if his side lose this one.
1633: Tommy Wright has made an entrance for Aberdeen replacing Lee Miller.
1631: "I've been told that Derek Riordan will not be going to Hearts and it is looking very, very positive for Hibs." BBC Radio Scotland commentator Paul Mitchell at Easter Road.
You heard it here first folks!
1630: Hearts are showboating. Hamilton are really toiling.
1629: ICT claims for a penalty are dismissed by ref Mike McCurry. He awards a free-kick on the edge of the box but nada comes of it.
1628: "That was a definite penalty." Jim Duffy, BBC Scotland summariser
1627: Dons striker Lee Miller has been booked for diving. He was bearing down on goal and tumbled in the box.
1626: Matt, quick, another of your splendid euphemisms! This time a spiffingly jolly one since your team have drawn level.
1624: Hamilton are on a sticky wicket and make a double substitution. Derek Lyle and Mark Corcoran replace disappointing duo Lucas Aitken and Joe Thomas.
1624: GOAL Falkirk 1-1 Caley Thistle. Don Cowie smashes one in with the left-foot howitzer to give the visitors a well-deserved equaliser.
1624: "Aww c'mon.. It was gonna happen wasn't it.. I complain.. Caley can't score anything.. now we're 1 down.. fudge." MattICTFC on My Sport Join the debate on My Sport
Hey Matt, is 'fudge' perhaps a euphemism for a slightly stronger word which we're not allowed to use here? Or are you just an incredibly polite, la-de-dah soul?
1623: That was bedlam back there! Why is there always a synchronised avalanche of goals in the SPL? It happens every week. Drives me mad so it does.
1620: Former Aberdeen striker Dennis Wyness has been introduced for St Mirren as Gus Macpherson tries to get back on level terms.
1618: GOAL Hamilton 0-2 Hearts. Disaster for Accies on the hour mark as Andrew Driver ghosts in to put Hearts two up.
1617: GOAL Falkirk 1-0 Inverness CT. Mark Stewart pounces on a ball played hopefully across the face of goal and nips in to put the Bairns ahead.
1615: GOAL Dundee United 0-2 Kilmarnock. The brilliantly-named Danny Invincible doubles Killie's lead. Comic-book superhero Invincible latches on to a fine through ball by Mehdi Taouil to finish with aplomb.
1614: Dundee United's Danny Grainger kicks out at a Kilmarnock opponent after a bit of an old-fashioned stramash at Tannadice, but it isn't spotted by referee Mike Tumilty.
1613: Another penalty claim denied! Motherwell' Chris Porter goes down under the challenge of Hibs' Martin Canning but ref Stuart Dougal waves play on.
1611: Meanwhile, at St Mirren, Will Haining has been struggling after a head knock and appears to have problems with his vision. Scott Cuthbert, on loan from Celtic, is his replacement.
1609: Ooops, spoke too soon! John Sutton misses a glorious chance for Motherwell - Chris' wee brother sends a header looping over. He should have done better there.
1608: Hee haw happening at the moment.
1603: Fascinating factoid: Did you know that Killie goalscorer Gavin Skelton's sister, Helen, is about to become a new presenter on kid's telly show Blue Peter? No, neither did I? And did you also know that she is a footballing WAG? Her other half, David Graham, is warming the bench for Hamilton today. Isn't Scottish football sooo glamorous?
1600: We're away again! Not much chat going on. Where are you all today? Don't tell me you're away shopping with your respective partners again? Get a grip! And get gibbering here: Join the debate on My Sport
1556: Both Kilmarnock and Aberdeen hold half-time leads against the run of play. But they won't be worrying too much about that. As it stands, Killie are the virtual trailblazers in the SPL, sitting pretty on 10 points. Harry Potter will have to give his disappointing Dundee United side a magical team talk.
1554: "Can you imagine the reception Riordan would get at Easter Road if he ends up joining Hearts?" Pedro_Mendes_Loyal on My Sport Join the debate on My Sport
Mo Johnston-esque I fear Pedro...it's not gonna happen though, is it?!
1548: Half time everywhere. Phew! Only three goals in the opening 45 minutes.
1546: Half time at Falkirk Stadium. Dour stalemate.
1544: Steven Fletcher has a goal chalked off after meeting Dean Shiels' cross with a header. Ref toots for offside.
1543: David Obua leaps like a Connor Sammon and bullets a superb header goalbound but Thomas Cerny somehow manages to claw the ball away. That should have been 2-0 to Hearts.
1540: Both sides have threatened at Falkirk Stadium, Caley Thistle more so, but not a goal in sight. All the good stuff has come from Caley Thistle. They might live to rue the gaggle of chances chances they've spurned.
1542: GOAL: St Mirren 0-1 Aberdeen. The Dons nick a cheeky one yet again! Darren Mackie rifles home his first goal of the season, very much against the run of play.
1541: GOAL Dundee United 0-1 Kilmarnock. The Ayrshire men go ahead after David Fernandez whips in a cross following a short corner and Gavin Skelton heads home.
1540: Hearts are having a competition to see who can welly the ball the farthest wide of the goal. Banana shots I think they're called. Jamie Mole just skewed a shocking effort into the stratosphere.
1539: "The last 10 minutes have been absolutely dreadful. Both managers will want to get their players in at half-time to give them a right good bollocking." BBC Sport summariser Steve Cowan at Tannadice
1538: "Neither team has been able to dominate." BBC Radio Scotland pundit Craig Paterson at Easter Road
1532: Hibs keeper Yves Makalambay makes a rather theatrical save from Motherwell's Stephen Hughes. One of those ones where he knows the TV cameras are at the game. Bit embarrassing when keepers do that.
1526: Only one goal in five games so far. That was Zaliukas' 18th minute header at New Douglas Park. A shoddy scoring ratio with around 20 minutes to go until half-time.
1524: The Buddies are proving to be the more positive side thus far. Aberdeen seem content to sit back and soak up the pressure, much as they did against Rangers at Pittodrie last weekend. Rather negative tactics from the Two Jimmys...it's not like they're playing away to Real Madrid! No offence intended to Saints fans there, but c'mon!!
Keeper Jamie Langfield is having a decent game, the rock in the Dons' thus far solid defence.
1521: "A big ooooh from the Falkirk fans as Mark Stewart presses forward and sends in a fine cross, but it fails to find a Falkirk head." BBC Scotland commentator Bill Leckie
1519: Steven Fletcher squanders a glorious chance inside the six-yard box following a gaffe from Mark Reynolds. The Hibs striker misses the target. Cow's bahookie, with a banjo, couldn't hit a...form a well-known sentence.
1520: GOAL Hamilton 0-1 Hearts. The Jambos take the lead through Marius Zaliukas. The Lithuanian finds himself unmarked in the box and his downward header eludes the outstretched paw of Thomas Cerny.
1518: The Falkirk players are warming up on excercise bikes - it's like a little spinning class down there. Perhaps inspired by Chris Hoy's recent heroics in Beijing?
1516: Motherwell assistant manager Scott Leitch is not at Easter Road today as he is in France to watch Well's Uefa Cup opponents Nancy in action against Le Harve.
1513: Franco 'Carmen' Miranda rifles in a shot that bounces just in front of Jamie Langfield. The Dons goalie manages to reposition himself at the second time of asking to nick the ball away from the advancing Billy Mehmet.
1512: "Mark McGhee's looking very trim, it has to be said." BBC Radio Scotland commentator Paul Mitchell at Easter Road.
Ooooh, get you Paul! Who do you think you are - that scary 'Dr' Gillian McKeith?!
1511: "Gary Wood misses a great opportunity to give Caley Thistle the lead - will they regret not taking these chances?" BBC Commentator Bill Leckie
1509: "Re: 1441 It's more of a Bond reference...his licence to kill you know. I've dropped the 007 part at the end though. Interesting take on it though." licence on My Sport Join the debate on My Sport
Bond you say? Hmmm...I thought it was maybe from the Beastie Boys 1986 debut lp "Licensed to Ill"...
1507: "Falkirk should be two goals down, but their big Austrian keeper has kept them in the game." BBC Scotland commentator Bill Leckie
1506: St Mirren move from Love Street to Greenhill Road in January. So today is Aberdeen's last visit to the famous old stadium. I'll bet a certain Sir Alex Ferguson has some fond memories of both teams.
The Man United gaffer's second job in management was at Love Street from 1974 to 1978 before he flitted north east in a controversial (at the time) move to Pittodrie. Of course, he instilled an indomitable spirit in a superb Dons squad, inspiring them to break the stranglehold of the Old Firm and leading them to glory at both home and abroad. Will he shed a wee tear when the Tesco wrecking balls move in on Love Street?
1505: Dean Shiels has a good chance for Hibs, but Motherwell goalkeeper Graeme Smith is alert to the danger.
1502: Garry Kenneth's 35-yard volley nearly gets Dundee United off to a flyer, but the ball crashes off the Kilmarnock crossbar.
1501: BBC Radio Scotland commentator John 'Digger' Barnes has just used the word 'fankle' to describe an early mix-up in the Hamilton defence. That's a great word.
1500: And we're off! The five SPL games are all up and running across the country.
1457: Here is part 2 of The Mighty Boosh99's reasoned rant from My Sport:
"All in all, I've yet to hear a good argument against TV replays...why are we still enduring these woeful attempts to control the games? There is too much money riding on them to allow such large amounts of human error to determine them! TheMightyBoosh99 on My Sport Join the debate on My Sport
1454: And last but not least, I bring to you the line-ups from Falkirk Stadium:
Darren Dods drops out of the Dundee United squad completely after being linked with a failed bid by former club Inverness Caley Thistle in midweek. Also out are Jon Daly, despite a midweek hat-trick, David Goodwillie, who scored a double against Cowdenbeath, and Craig Conway. Harry Potter drafts in Lee Wilkie, Warren Feeney, Francisco Sandaza and Danny Swanson.
Kilmarnock make three changes, with former Gretna man Gavin Skelton making his first start of the season. David Fernandez and David Lilley also come in, with Simon Ford missing out through injury and Conor Sammon and Allan Russell also dropping out.
1446: Team news from Easter Road:
Hibs under-pressure boss Mixu Paatelainen has been forced into a goalkeeping change after the catastrophic midweek Co-op Insurance Cup defeat to Morton. Andrew McNeil sustained a head knock in Tuesday night's 4-3 extra-time defeat and Paatelainen has reacted by drafting in Yves Ma-Kalambay. The Belgian is back from international duty at the Olympics.
Motherwell manager Mark McGhee makes only one alteration to his starting line-up, bringing back Stephen Hughes following a hamstring injury in place of Marc Fitzpatrick.
1443: "Top flight refereeing in Scotland is undoubtedly awful. Craig Levein was very astute in his observations last season, and of course, received the mandatory SFA criticism. The truth is though, they get paid far less than their English counterparts, so per £, they're no worse than some of the terrible refereeing performances that grace the Premiership." TheMightyBoosh99 on My Sport Join the debate on My Sport
1441: Come on the Jambos! We need a good win to put the awful midweek performance behind us." licence on My Sport Join the debate on My Sport
Thanks for that licence. What a peculiar My Sport moniker you have...are you perchance some kinda gangsta rapper? Gorgie Road by way of South Central LA...
1438: "I reckon Motherwell will beat Hibs by a couple of goals." Pedro_Mendes_Loyal on My Sport Join the debate on My Sport
1436: More team news: Hamilton manager Billy Reid makes three changes from the side who reached the Co-operative Insurance Cup third round in midweek. Skipper Alex Neil and Richard Offiong both return from injury and Joel Thomas is drafted into the starting line-up after grabbing a goal against Clyde. Accies signed three players on loan yesterday - Stephen Ettien, Michael Videira and Chris Casement - although only Casement has made the 18-man squad.
Hearts make just one change from the side who crashed out of the cup at the hands of Airdrie United, with Andrew Driver replacing Saulius Mikoliunas.
1434: The marvellously jaunty "Shout to the Top" by The Style Council is blasting out of the speakers at New Douglas Park. With the Old Firm clash of the titans happening tomorrow, could this be a musical omen for Billy Reid's men? Victory against the Jambos today could propel them to the top of the tree.
1426: "This really takes a back seat in the pecking order compared to the Old Firm, but for one day one of six sides could be top. Hope Hamilton win again!." 2o-DeMoN-o8 on My Sport Join the debate on My Sport
1423: There's been a lot hoo-ha over the standard of Scotland's top-flight referees these days. Are they rubbish? Do they deserve all the flak they've been getting? Do you feel at all sorry for the poor wee diddums? Is it all much hysterical ado about nothing? Does anyone really care?
1418: Will frozen-out Celtic striker Derek Riordan return to Edinburgh? And which side will he plump for - his old club Hibs or Reekie rivals Hearts?
1417: The main topic under discussion today is: "The world, his wife and the SPL."
1416: Let's get ranting and raving as this afternoon's action unfolds. There's plenty to discuss so don't be shy. Join the debate on My Sport
1415: Afternoon all! Here we go again. This season seems to be whizzing by already in a crazy blur of madcap football action and dodgy ref decisions. Well, allegedly 'dodgy' of course...I guess that depends on what team you support...
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