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By Chris Bevan
2202: Right then you lot, that's me done for the night - quite a quiet shift...not enough goals for my liking.
I'll be back tomorrow night when maybe we might see a bit more defending, if we are really lucky. Thanks for all your banter and look forward to seeing you then. In the meantime, Danny Baker is now on 5 Live, taking your calls on 606. Get involved folks.
2158: Danny the Stat hasn't finished yet either, here's more player rater chat:
Wayne Rooney's fine form has notched him the top score on Player Rater with 8.41. Two-goal Dimitar Berbatov is second on 7.98, while all the Celtic players are on five-point-something or other. Great scores all round for the Arsenal players too, with Theo Walcott (8.28) just shading Cesc Fabregas (8.26)..
Being a stickler for these things, Danny would also like to make it clear that, at 2126, he merely said Joseba Llorente's treble is 'one of the fastest in Champions League history'. Thanks to all of you who reminded us of Mike Newell's nine-minute effort though...
2155: "Arsene pretty much got his tactics spot-on tonight. Luis Aragones will have plenty of nightmares after this..." Defenders_Nightmare on 606 Join the debate on 606
2152: Danny the Stat is having the time of of his life right now - apparently, the only Champions League scoreline higher than Villarreal's 6-3 win over AaB was Monaco's 8-3 victory over Deportivo in November 2003.
2148: Forgive me for getting carried away folks...Our 36 goals tonight merely equalled the Champions League record from 2000, it didn't break it. Still a memorable night though, especially for my poor fingers.
2145: "Reasonably easy for Arsenal but there were still signs of some defensive uncertainty at times. Their small band of supporters will be going home happy and it's the ferry back with the unhappy home fans for me." BBC Sport's Elizabeth Hudson in Istanbul via text on 81111
2142: "Why, oh why did such a great night of football happen to coincide with a coursework deadline the next day....?" Torresque on 606 Join the debate on 606
You lot are never happy...goals galore and still complaining!
2139: It's full-time everywhere now. We've seen 36 goals in eight games tonight...and it was non-stop at times.
2137: FULL-TIME FENERBAHCE 2-5 ARSENAL
A goal-fest in Istanbul sees Arsene Wenger's men extend their lead at the top of Group G after Porto lose at home to Dynamo Kiev. An amazing game for the travelling Gunners fans.
2135: GOAL FENERBAHCE 2-5 ARSENAL
I knew there would be one last goal but at least a fellow Welshman got it. Aaron Ramsey puts the seal on Arsenal's win with superb low finish and, yes, this is now a record tally for goals in a single Champions League night.
2132: FULL-TIME MANCHESTER UTD 3-0 CELTIC
A stroll for Manchester United in the end, after two controversial goals from Dimitar Berbatov. Villarreal's spectacular win over AaB means they join United at the top of Group E - Celtic will fight it out for third spot with the Danes.
2131: GOAL STEAUA BUCHAREST 3-5 LYON
Right, said Fred (possibly). I'm scoring the goal that secures victory for Lyon. Indeed it is as the full-time whistle blows.
2130: GOAL BAYERN MUNICH 3-0 FIORENTINA One last flurry of goals anyone? Ze Roberto makes certain of Bayern's win with a last-minute goal. Bayern will stay in command at the top of Group F.
2129: Re 2124...I've just been told Rangers and Motherwell also scored in Europe this season. Which means Celtic are the only Scottish team not to notch. Their fans at Old Trafford are still making a din though - credit where credit is due...let's remember this is (probably) going to be their 16th defeat in 17 Champions Leagues games away from home.
2128: Arsene Wenger brings on Johan Djourou for Theo Walcott. It looks like the Arsenal manager is going to try to keep Fenerbahce quiet in the final five minutes. About time too...
2126: GOAL VILLARREAL 6-3 AaB
Extraordinary. Well, I'll stick my neck out and say that's got to be Villarreal's game. Joseba Llorente scores on 84 minutes to complete a 17-minute hat-trick. Surely one of the quickest in Champions League history?
2124: "Bevo, will all these goals break some sort of record for the Champions League in its current format?" andy slatz via text on 81111
Not sure. I'll try to get Danny the Stat on the case to find out. They have succeeded in breaking my keyboard though.
2124: "Four Scottish clubs in Europe this season and only Queen of the South have scored any goals. SPL letting the country down again." Tartan Fox via text on 81111
Ji-Sung Park has just come on for Cristiano Ronaldo at Old Trafford. It has not been a great night for Celtic and they will be fighting it out with Aab for third-place in Group E and a place in the Uefa Cup.
2122: GOAL VILLARREAL 5-3 AaB
I told you the Danish side were still in this match - oh hang on. Former Arsenal man Robert Pires has scored Villarreal's fifth. Surely that's enough. Surely?
2121: GOAL FENERBAHCE 2-4 ARSENAL
Hope for the Turkish side. An Edu pass over the top eludes Alex Song and Daniel Guiza flicks the ball beyond Manuel Almunia and into the net.
2120: GOAL VILLARREAL 4-3 AaB
Not over yet in Spain as Andreas Johansson keeps the Danish side fighting. Thirteen minutes to go in this one. I'm going to need a lie down at the final whistle.
2118: GOAL MANCHESTER UTD 3-0 CELTIC
Game over for Celtic. Wayne Rooney continues his hot streak of form by planting a precise low shot into the bottom corner. A top class finish that.
2116: In Istanbul, Arsenal take off one of their goalscorers, Abou Diaby, who has been immense tonight and bring on Welsh teenager Aaron Ramsey. He's not a bad player either...
2115: Wayne Rooney stings Artur Boruc's palms with a piledriver from the edge of the box. United are looking to finish this one off.
2114: GOAL STEAUA BUCHAREST 3-4 LYON
It's all gone goal-crazy again. What a turnaround. Karim Benzema scores his second of the night to put the French side ahead for the first time.
2113: GOAL STEAUA BUCHAREST 3-3 LYON
The wheel turns again in Romania as Lyon equalise again. Fred's the man, netting on 69 minutes.
2112: Fenerbahce have not given up yet but Arsenal can thank stand-in captain, goalkeeper Manuel Almunia, for preserving their lead. He has been outstanding tonight and has just denied Daniel Guiza from another one-on-one situation.
2111: GOAL VILLARREAL 4-2 AaB
That should seal it for the Spanish side. Joseba Llorente scores his second goal in three minutes to seemingly put the contest to bed.
2110: GOAL VILLARREAL 3-2 AaB
Bad news for Celtic. The Spanish side re-take the lead thanks to Joseba Llorente. As things stand in Group E, the Scottish side will be on one point with Aalborg - Man Utd and Villarreal will be on seven.
2109: GOAL JUVENTUS 2-1 REAL MADRID
Real are back in it at the Stadio Olimpico. Ruud van Nistelrooy climbs above the Juve defence and plants a powerful header into the net.
2107: First effort on goal by United striker Carlos Tevez, who sees a low shot deflected just wide.
2104: Celtic are making a couple of changes too. Shaun Maloney and Paul Hartley are on for Barry Robson and Shunsuke Nakamura. Last throw of the dice by Gordon Strachan.
2103: "Rosehip half-time tea had gone so opted for sage tea instead - a mistake. Plenty of glum home fans here. Arsenal superb going forward. There's more goals in this one." BBC Sport's Elizabeth Hudson via text on 81111
2100: Carlos Tevez is coming on for Dimitar Berbatov - the Bulgarian won't get a chance to notch a hat-trick of offside goals for United, not tonight anyway. Wes Brown is on for Gary Neville too.
2059: Believe it or not there hasn't been a chance at the Sükrü Saraçoglu Stadium for at least five minutes now. The Turkish fans are still making a racket but Arsenal look home and dry.
2057: Not a good spell for Celtic and Wayne Rooney should really have made it 3-0. Artur Boruc comes out for a loose ball but he cannot collect and it breaks for the England man on the edge of the area...but he sees his first time shot sail high over the empty net.
2055: The linesmen at Old Trafford are having a nightmare. Wayne Rooney runs clear and thumps the ball into the bottom corner but he is flagged offside. Replays showed he was clearly on. Maybe these things even themselves out but it is still a bit late for Celtic.
2053: GOAL MANCHESTER UTD 2-0 CELTIC
Another Dimitar Berbatov goal, another dodgy decision. Artur Boruc parries a Cristiano Ronaldo free-kick into the path of the Bulgarian who slots into an empty net. Berbatov looked off-side when the free-kick was taken.
2052: GOAL FENERBAHCE 1-4 ARSENAL
A Cesc Fabregas free-kick is knocked into Alex Song's path by Mikael Sylvestre and he volleys low into the corner of the net. We had played less than three minutes of the second half.
2051: GOAL JUVENTUS 2-0 REAL MADRID
I knew it wouldn't be long. Amauri doubles the Italian side's advantage, although there is an element of fortune as his header takes a deflection off a Madrid foot and goes in off the post.
2049: "Are Celtic the only team not to score in the Champions League so far?" Anon via text on 81111
In the Group Stages this season, yes.
2048: The second half starts in Istanbul and everywhere else across Europe. More goals please...
2047: "United are so assured on the ball its just a joy to watch them, we not only play slick and attractive football we score so many goals game after game." man u4life via text on 81111
2046: United get the second half under way at Old Trafford.
2043: "A great 45 mins by Arsenal but if Daniel Guiza had put one of his chances away, things could be a lot different. Am hoping to enjoy a nice half-time cup of rosehip tea." BBC Sport's Elizabeth Hudson via text on 81111
2042: More player rater chat, this time from Old Trafford. Dimitar Berbatov leads the way for Manchester United with 7.58, while Celtic's top man is Scott McDonald with 6.47.
2040: I was wondering who the funny little man was sat next to me while the goals flew in. It's only Danny the Stat, that's who. He's done a great job on the player rater as well:
"An extraordinary half in Turkey and as the dust settles, it turns out the England's Theo Walcott is the top dog with 8.33. Emanuel Adebayor has 8.00 and it's decent all round for the Arsenal men. Fenerbahce players might not want to look at their scores. Particularly because they're in the dressing room and ought to be focusing on the half-time team talk."
2022: Phew. Things seem to have quietened down. Which is just as well because I don't think I could have carried on describing goals at that rate all night. I made it 17 in the first 35 minutes around the grounds. Not including the Zenit ones from earlier.
2019: GOAL VILLARREAL 2-2 AaB
This is ridiculous. What's happened to Europe's defenders tonight? The latest goal comes from Thomas Enevoldsen of Aalborg, who runs clear to chip home in style. That's the first time Villarreal have conceded more than one goal in a game in 16 matches. Blimey.
2018: It seems like a long time since I have written anything that isn't a goal description so here is something different - a disallowed goal description. Gokhan ghosts inside Gael Clichy and his eventual shot deflects into the path of Spain striker Dani Guiza, whose drive finds the net but is correctly ruled out for offside.
2016: GOAL VILLARREAL 2-1 AaB
A very quick turnaround in Spain as Joan Capdevila scores Villarreal's second goal in three minutes to put them in front.
2015: GOAL STEAUA BUCHAREST 2-2 LYON
And that French fightback is complete. Karim Benzema has equalised on 33 minutes.Everybody enjoying these goals.
2014: GOAL VILLARREAL 1-1 AaB
The surprise lead for the Danes did not last for long. Former Manchester United man Giuseppe Rossi has hit a 28th-minute equaliser.
2013: GOAL MANCHESTER UNITED 1-0 CELTIC
With all the goals flying in elsewhere, Old Trafford was probably feeling left out but not any more. A Nani corner is only half-cleared but John O'Shea puts the ball back in the mixer and Dimitar Berbatov diverts it home. Replays show he was actually offside but the goal will stand.
2011: GOAL FC PORTO 0-1 DYNAMO KIEV Olexander Aliev hits a free-kick from fully 25 yards that swings first left then right to completely flummox Porto keeper Nuno.
2011: GOAL BAYERN MUNICH 2-0 FIORENTINA
More good news for Bayern boss Jurgen Klinsmann. His side are top of Group F and look like staying there as Bastian Schweinsteiger as just extended their lead.
2010: "The Fenerbahçe crowd who had been amazingly loud have been mometarily silenced and you can now hear the small Arsenal contingent in the stadium. But it probably won't be long before the home fans find their voices again!" BBC Sport's Elizabeth Hudson via text on 81111
2008: GOAL STEAUA BUCHAREST 2-1 LYON
First signs of a French fightback in Romania as Abdulkader Keita finds the back of the net.
2007: GOAL FENERBAHCE 1-3 ARSENAL
A long ball over the top catches out the home defence and Abou Diaby buries his shot into the bottom corner to restore Arsenal's two-goal advantage. He then gets booked for celebrating.
2006: GOAL VILLARREAL 0-1 AaB Marek Saganowski gives the Danish side the lead in their Group E encounter.
2005: GOAL FENERBAHCE 1-2 ARSENAL
Oops, not a game to remember in his Arsenal Champions League debut for Mikael Silvestre. Daniel Guiza's volley across goal hits the defender and bounces into his own net.
2004: Wayne Rooney has an acrobatic volley blocked for United but at the other end it is Celtic who go closest to scoring when Gary Caldwell forces a brilliant save by Edwin van der Sar with a shot that was heading for the top corner.
2001: More chances in Istanbul and this time it is Fenerbahce who threaten. A Claudio Maldonado cross from the right finds its way to Ugur Boral, who takes a touch and blasts his shot goal-bound, only to see it rebound off the head of Arsenal's stand-in captain Manuel Almunia.
Moments later Emmanuel Adebayor finds himself unmarked on the edge of the Fenerbahce penalty area but fires horribly high.
1958: Amid all that excitement elsewhere, Celtic have come into their game at Old Trafford and Aiden McGeady sees a low shot from 20 yards saved by United keeper Edwin van der Sar.
1956: GOAL FENERBAHCE 0-2 ARSENAL
Cesc Fabregas makes another perfect slide-rule pass - this time he finds Theo Walcott whose pace sees him beat Volkan Demirel and show good composure to slot in from an awkward angle.
Quite a quiet start to the evening, don't you think?
1955: GOAL FENERBAHCE 0-1 ARSENAL
A beautiful through-ball by Cesc Fabregas finds Emmanuel Adebayor in space and he slips the ball into the bottom corner.
1954: GOAL STEAUA BUCHAREST 2-0 LYON
As I was saying, the goals are flying in in Group F. Dorin Goian has just scored with his back. The ball bounced off him and squeezed under the goalkeeper.
1953: GOAL STEAUA BUCHAREST 1-0 LYON
The goals are flying in in Group F - Bernhardt Arthuro has just put Steau ahead.
"Am I the only who thinks Celtic are looking like the Socceroos of AussieLand??" Maxxfoot on 606 Join the debate on 606
1950: GOAL BAYERN MUNICH 1-0 FIORENTINA
Bayern are struggling in the Bundesliga but flying in Europe. Mirolslav Klose has just put them ahead.
1949: GOAL JUVENTUS 1-0 REAL MADRID
A real beauty from Alessandro Del Piero who curls the ball home into the top corner from 25 yards.
1948: A bit of pressure early doors from United. Celtic will need to settle quickly here.
1947: And Arsenal have just got us started in Istanbul too. Deafening atmosphere in Turkey.
1945: We are under way in Manchester, Bucharest and Turin.
1943: "I'm gonna stick my neck out and say a 2-1 Celtic win. It'll be tough without big George (Samaras) but I reckon an electric atmosphere could work in Celtic's favour." Anon via text on 81111
We are about to find out. There is a similar atmosphere at the Sükrü Saracoglu Stadium too, which could just help Fenerbahce...
1938: The players are coming out of the tunnel at Old Trafford. In Turkey, the Fenerbahce fans have spelt out 'believe' in cards across the bottom of one of their stands. Across the top is the Turkish flag.
1934: A lot of you lot on 606 cannot work out what Carlos Tevez has to do to get in Manchester United's starting line-up and I sympathise. I can understand why Wayne Rooney is in after scoring six goals in his last five games but Dimitar Berbatov has done slightly less. I'm sure the Argentine will get on at some point, mind.
1929: Just a little reminder folks: There will be lots of opportunity to talk about tonight's action - and plenty of other stuff too - with Danny Baker, who is taking calls on 5 Live's 606 from 2200 BST. Get involved.
1928: "Time for a bit of good old yellow-and-blue scarf waving from the Fenerbahçe fans as kick-off approaches. They need a big display from their side. Despite their injuries Arsenal are favourites for this one." BBC Sport's Elizabeth Hudson via text on 81111
1926: "My dad refused to believe in home advantage, thinking it makes no difference. I asked him to explain Celtic's home/away form and he promptly changed his mind." J, via text on 81111
1924: "I really like watching Celtic play...they are normally really entertaining. With the team Man Utd have put out they will not be dispatched easily but, be warned; Celtic are not to be taken lightly - they have plenty attacking quality: Nakamura, McGeady and McDonald can punish." Teo423 on 606 Join the debate on 606
These 'Battle of Britain' contests can be absolute classics, but only if they are tight. Celtic's last visit to Old Trafford was but they have got so many injuries it is asking a lot for them to repeat that this time.
1922: "(Re 1912) Pump Up The Jam was no "disco classic!" It was a seminal groundbreaking early rave classic that was played five times in an evening at my first illegal rave in September 1989....(now that makes me feel old)." James in Blackburn (waiting for the Man Utd-supporting missus to get home with the pizza!) via text on 81111
1920: FULL-TIME Zenit St Petersburg 1-1 FC BATE
The perfect scoreline as far as Juventus and Real Madrid are concerned - both Zenit and FC Bate are still winless in Group H. Zenit will be amazed that they didn't get a victory here though.
1916: Celtic defender Gary Caldwell passed a late fitness test on an ankle injury and is likely to be deployed in a holding midfield role instead of injured Marc Crosas. Glenn Loovens moves into the centre of defence with Mark Wilson coming in to his usual right-back role. Midfielder Shunsuke Nakamura, who scored in both games against United two seasons ago, comes in for Shaun Maloney who starts as substitute.
"If we had the old knockout-style competition, Celtic would've knocked United out last time these two met on away goals rule (L3-2 & W1-0). I doubt it's going to be as close this time though. Celtic will be up for this though." thunderspooner on 606 Join the debate on 606
Yep, that was in 2006 by the way.
1915: Rio Ferdinand was ruled out of Manchester United's starting line-up to face Celtic with a groin injury, with Jonny Evans stepping in. Cristiano Ronaldo plays, despite suggestions he would be left out. Injured Patrice Evra and youngster Rafael drop out, with John O'Shea and Gary Neville named in Sir Alex Ferguson's team.
1913: FC Bate are still hanging on grimly against Zenit, who are completely dominating as we enter the last minute of normal time. A draw not much good to either of these two at the bottom of Group H.
1912: "Sükrü Saraçoglu Stadium starting to fill slowly. Not too many Arsenal fans in evidence. Crowd being treated to 80s disco classic Pump Up The Jam." BBC Sport's Elizabeth Hudson via text on 81111
'Pump up the Jam' was by Technotronic, if I remember correctly...
1911: "As a suffering Spurs fan, a Fenerbahce win against the Goons would be a treat. Not gonna happen though is it..." Jon in Maidstone via text on 81111
1908: TEAM NEWS Man Utd v Celtic Man Utd: Van der Sar, Neville, Evans, Vidic, O'Shea, Ronaldo, Fletcher, Anderson, Nani, Berbatov, Rooney. Celtic: Boruc, Wilson, Loovens, McManus, Naylor, Nakamura, Scott Brown, Caldwell, Robson, McGeady, McDonald.
1905: GOAL Zenit St Petersburg 1-1 FC BATE
To be fair Zenit will feel an equaliser was on its way...and they just got one. Fatih Tekke latches on to a long ball over the top and slams home a superb finish. Not sure what the keeper was doing though.
1903: Another golden chance for Zenit goes begging...substitute striker Pavel Pogrebnyak makes a hash of his header from six yards out and the BATE keeper saves. Less than 15 minutes left in that one now.
1901: Arsenal make two changes to the side that started their Premier League game against Everton on Saturday. Theo Walcott comes in for Kolo Toure, which means Alex Song moves from right-back to centre-half, Emmanuel Eboue pushes to right-back and Walcott starts on the right of midfield.
The other change sees the fit-again Abou Diaby start in place on Robin Van Persie, who drops to the substitutes' bench.
1900: ARSENAL TEAM TO FACE FENERBAHCE:
Almunia, Eboue, Song, Silvestre, Clichy, Walcott, Fabregas, Denilson, Diaby, Nasri, Adebayor.
1857: A few of you are making 'predos' on 606. All very interesting...but to quote dear old Gazza - "I never make predictions and I never will."
Oh alright, here you go then:
Man Utd 3-1 Celtic
Villarreal 4-0 AaB
Bayern Munich 1-1 Fiorentina
Steaua Bucuresti 1-2 Lyon
FC Porto 2-1 Dynamo Kiev
Fenerbahce 1-1 Arsenal
Juventus 2-2 Real Madrid
Zenit St Petersburg 1-1 FC BATE
I own up that I might have cheated with the Zenit one a teeny bit.
1855: "A Celtic win would count for 10 away wins, not just one. They have yet to win away in Europe, it's a personal downer for me." RKW - Poland's Finest Kopite on 606 Join the debate on 606
1854: We've just had a goal at the Petrovsky Stadium where, completely against the run of play, Pavel Nekhaychik has just put FC Bate in front. Zenit St Petersburg are still without a point in Group H and a defeat would all but end their hopes of making the knockout stages. Still 25 minutes left in that one though.
1852: "Theo Walcott v Roberto Carlos. Looking forward to that battle." GaelForce22 on 606 Join the debate on 606
I would be too if I supported Arsenal. Roberto Carlos hasn't quite got Theo's pace, has he?
1850: Plenty of other juicy ties for your enjoyment too - including in Kadiköy, where Fenerbahce host Arsenal and in Turin where Juventus take on Real Madrid.
The Gunners have got a few injury problems themselves, with Kolo Toure and William Gallas both out - and let's not forget that Fenerbahce, last season's quarter-finalists, are undefeated at the Sukru Saracoglu Stadium in their last 15 European games. The word you are looking for is 'fortress'. Fenerbahce v Arsenal
1847: OK, so Celtic have picked up only one point in their last 16 away games in the Champions League, they have got an injury list as long as my arm (and not only because Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink's name is on it) and they need to pick up points against United at Old Trafford and Parkhead to maintain any realistic hopes of reaching the knockout stage. Celtic's away-day blues
But at least Manchester United, and Wayne Rooney in particular, are in poor form at the moment....oh, hang on.... Man Utd v Celtic
1845: I was out with a Celtic fan at the weekend. He was a little worried, to say the least, about tonight. I can't think why?
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