Aberdeen 1-1 Lokomotiv Moscow
Bayern Munich 2-2 Bolton
Hapoel Tel-Aviv 0-2 Tottenham
Nuremberg 0-2 Everton
GOALFLASHES AND MAJOR INCIDENTS (all times GMT)
Player of the Day:
Victor Anichebe is better than Franck Ribery. That's official. You give the Everton man a mark of 8.76 which shades the 8.61 Ribery earned. Others to break through the eight-point barrier are Mikel Arteta, Robbie Keane and Zander Diamond.
2156: That's that then. Four games and no defeats. A tidy return for Britain's representatives. Tottenham and Everton win, while Bolton and Aberdeen draw - although the Dons probably needed a bit more from that game against Lokomotiv Moscow with a nasty trip to Atletico Madrid coming up next. That match is in three weeks when Tottenham will host AaB Aalborg and Bolton entertain Aris Salonika in a crucial tie. Everton have the night off.
2155: FULL-TIME Nuremberg 0-2 Everton
The Toffees stay on top of Group A and with two wins from two games they are heading for the knockout stages.
2154: The home supporters in Nuremberg are heading for the exits - probably to urinate on a statue of Hans Meyer.
2153: And another change in added time for the Toffees. Tony Hibbert is on for Steven Pienaar.
2152: A late change for Everton with the game in the bag. Mikel Arteta is replaced by Phil Jagielka.
2151: Tomas Galasek thunders a rising shot on goal but Tim Howard saves easily.
2149: GOAL Nuremberg 0-2 Everton
A fine, fine goal from Victor Anichebe. What an impact from the substitute and the travelling support are going wild. Anichebe picked the ball up wide on the right and curved into the box, shouldering Jawhar Mnari away before a clinical finish from the tightest of angles.
"Look out knockout stages, Everton are coming."
richie4eva1 on 606
2148: FULL-TIME Aberdeen 1-1 Lokomotiv Moscow
A really good game from first to last played at a good pace, but just the point for Aberdeen who have now scored just two goals in their last six European games.
2147: Time is almost up at Pittodrie. Lokomotiv left it late in the first half. Aberdeen need to be careful.
2145: News from Bolton's group. Aris Salonika start their campaign with a 3-0 home win over Red Star Belgrade and climb above unbeaten Wanderers into second.
2144: GOAL Nuremberg 0-1 Everton
Mikel Arteta slots from the spot after Berti Glauber played a spot of rugby with Victor Anichebe. The Everton substitute attempted to stay on his feet before eventually going down with the defender all over him. No complaints, although Glauber has some before being given a yellow card.
2141: Into the final 10 minutes in Germany now as well.
2140: Lokomotiv defender Rodolfo stretches every sinew in his body to poke the ball away from Steve Lovell after Aberdeen go route one. Zander Diamond's the target from the corner, but he can't get his header on goal.
2139: A final Aberdeen change. Steve Lovell replaces Lee Miller. Five minutes left.
2138: "They are quick to build a monument to you in football, but they are also quick to urinate on it." One of the fabled musings of Nuremberg coach Hans Meyer. Guess his post-match media conference might be better for a soundbite than the Everton one with David Moyes.
2136: An attacking change for Everton as well. Yakubu makes way for Victor Anichebe.
2135: Into the last 10 minutes for Aberdeen and Sone Aluko is replaced by Jeffrey de Visscher.
2132: Chances at both ends at Pittodrie. The ball doesn't drop for Lee Miller and then quick as a flash play scoots up the pitch and Jamie Langfield pushes a deflected shot away.
"Everton really need to get some better balls in the box everythings being hoofed up field by Nuremberg who are playing well and breaking quickly."
FaithfulForester on 606
2125: Nuno Valente is booked for a foul on Peer Kluge. That's the first card in that match.
2124: Aberdeen fans want to see red, but the referee brings out yellow. Zander Diamond and Peter Odemwingie clash in that ridiculous butting fashion where players lean against each other touching foreheads. In some Polynesian cultures that's probably a welcome. It's not here. Diamond caught Odemwingie but it's the Lokomotiv man who gets booked for retaliation.
2122: Mikel Arteta's free-kick from the right finds Joleon Lescott, but the Everton man can't hook the effort on goal. There's a goal coming, but from where and for whom?
2121: A first change for Aberdeen. Chris Maguire replaces Chris Clark for his European debut.
2120: Strange in Germany. Mikel Arteta takes the game down to walking pace on the right before selling a dummy to two defenders and ducking inside to shoot on goal. The effort surprises Jaromir Blazek but the keeper gathers after initially parrying. A lot of keepers seem unable to hold the ball at the first time of asking today.
2119: Marek Mintal's cross for Peer Kluge is inches too high. Where's Peer Crouch when you need him?
2117:Steven Pienaar whips a low cross in from the Everton right but it is straight at Jaromir Blazek.
2114: It's all heating up at Aberdeen, but not enough to stop the snow. A massive melee in the box after goalkeeper Ivan Pelizzoli flaps at a high ball. Scott Severin slaps a shot well wide and Pelizzoli starts flapping. Derek Young's the focus of his ire after the diminuitive Don had blocked his run.
2112: Emir Spahic is booked for barging into Zander Diamond under a high ball. Blatant, but then he feigned injury to try and earnt the sympathy of the referee. Florian Meyer's too canny to fall for such bluster and wields the yellow card.
2110: Action elsewhere in Aberdeen's group. Panathinaikos maintain their 100% record on the road at FC Copenhagen with a 1-0 win. That suits Jimmy Calderwood and his boys.
2109: Nuremberg benefit from some hesitant defending and Marek Mintal digs out a left-footed shot in the area which is well blocked by Tim Howard and saved at the second attempt.
2107: The action resumes at Freddie Nuremberg. Just another 45 minutes or so of this marathon to go. Who's got the paracetamol? The head's steaming.
"A draw would suit Everton. You've got to be a really poor side to get knocked out of the Uefa Cup in the group stages, some of the 4th round of group games are in danger of being really tedious."
madjackmcmad on 606
2104: Crisp passing move form Lokomotiv ends with a weak side-footed effort from the luminous yellow booted Dmitri Sychev.
2102: Sloppy from Richard Foster. The Aberdeen man's left his brain in the changing room, dozes on the ball and is robbed of the ball by Peter Odemwingie.
2100: Back up and running at Aberdeen. A somewhat sombre mood after that Lokomotiv goal punctured the atmosphere before the break.
Player rater: It's going to take something special to top Franck Ribery's mark of 8.44. You have Tottenham's Robbie Keane as the leading chaser with the best from the late games being Everton's Joleon Lescott on 8.00 and Aberdeen duo Lee Miller and Zander Diamond on 7.50.
2052: HALF-TIME Nuremberg 0-0 Everton
Something for everyone, apart from goals that is. Another exciting game. A shame that first one between Hapoel Tel Aviv and Tottenham was so dire.
2051: Just enough time for an Everton corner now. Jaromir Blazek easily claims Mikel Arteta's delivery.
2050: Nuremberg end the half with a corner. Uh oh! We've just been here with Lokomotiv Moscow. Lightning doesn't strike twice.
2047: A right hoolie in the Nuremberg box. An air shot from Yakubu in a melle of bodies before his has a second stab at the ball. It is a tame effort and rolls gently to Jaromir Blazek.
2045: HALF-TIME Aberdeen 1-1 Lokomotiv Moscow
That was the last action of the half.
2044: GOAL Aberdeen 1-1 Lokomotiv Moscow
A headed goal at one end and now one at the wrong end. Branislav Ivanovic climbs well in the six-yard box to nod home from Alexander Samedov's corner.
2043: Tim Cahill and Mikel Arteta combine on the right of the area but Arteta stabs his shot wide.
2042: Lokomotiv are having a good spell. Aberdeen need to see this out. Just two minutes to go until the break.
2041: Who's fallen asleep? What's happened with the updates?
"It's snowing in Aberdeen all right - a blizard of power from Aluko, Foster and Miller! Aberdeen look like they're enjoying every second of this."
milton_75 on 606
2036: A sweeping move down the right from Lokomotiv opens up Aberdeen. Dmitri Sychev can't cap it with a goal though. His driven shot cannons off the base of Jamie Langfield's left post.
2033: Tim Howard takes off like Superman. His full length dive denies Dominik Reinhardt who was gifted a chance by the hugely ambitious Steven Pienaar after he attepmted to twist himself into space while under pressure as the last man. Poor defending. Great goalkeeping.
2031: Something to cheer the green brigade from Nuremberg. The Franken-Stadion may not look the most modern of grounds, but it has embraced 21st century, environmentally-friendly thinking as all rainwater is recycled for use elsewhere in the stadium.
2028: No less thrilling at Nuremberg where it's also end to end. Everton have a let off when Peer Kluge fires a shot wide.
2026: GOAL Aberdeen 1-0 Lokomotiv Moscow
Zander Diamond climbs well at the far post to head in Barry Nicholson's corner and Pittodrie is rocking.
2025: Aberdeen break at warp factor speed but just as Sone Aluko is set to pull the trigger his shot is blocked. Teenager Aluko, who is on loan from Birmingham, looks the part.
2024: Jamie Langfield tips a Peter Odemwingie free-kick over and Chris Clark clears a Dmitri Sychev header from the resulting corner off the line for the Dons.
2023: It's snowing in Aberdeen.
2022: Think Paul Gascoigne against Germany in Euro 96 and now put Tim Cahill in that shirt. He just can't get on the end of a cross from Leon Osman. Agonising.
2020: Ace from Aberdeen. Scott Severin slides a pass down the left where Omatsone Aluko is flying. A well-flighted cross is parried by Lokomotiv keeper Ivan Pelizzoli to Lee Miller, but his shot is drilled firm and true and just, just wide.
2018: Nuremberg are in terrible nick. They slipped into the bottom three in the Bundesliga after a weekend loss at home to VfB Stuttgart and have won just one of their last 13 games when they scored five at home to Frankfurt. They have scored just three goals in their other five home Bundesliga games.
2016: Everton keeper Tim Howard comes racing off his line to save his defence. The Toffees give the ball away but Ivan Saenko can't make them pay after a heavy first touch and the American smothers the ball.
"Decent start from the Dons. But what can you expect when we're playing a team with a boiled sweety wrapper for a strip!"
Mark Shanta, in Glasgow, via text on 81111
2011: A result from Group G, Tottenham's group. AaB Aalborg and Anderlecht shared the points in a 1-1 draw which means the Belgians are top of the table, a point ahead of Spurs. They have both played two games.
2009: Lokomotiv are not having the best of seasons, but you wouldn't know it from their start. They are mid-table in the Russian league and have not won a match in more than a month. They lost at relegation-threatened Krylya Sovetov at the weekend and drew their opening group match at home to Atletico Madrid having been 3-2 up with five minutes remaining.
2008: The ball is worked to Dmitri Sychev on the Lokomotiv right. He spears a shot in on goal but Jamie Langfield saves and his defence mop up the danger ahead of the on-rushing visitors. Green and red halves on the Lokomotiv shirt. Not the best.
2005: Everton are on the attack from the whistle in Nuremberg and hit the post on 24 seconds. Jaromir Blazek parries Mikel Arteta's shot and then recovers to deflect Tim Cahill's follow-up on to the woodwork.
2003: A jinky run from Omatsone Aluko draws a foul and it's a Dons free-kick in a central position. The free-kick isn't all that but the ball breaks for Aluko on the left. His shot isn't all that either. Well wide.
2002: Corner for Aberdeen but Andrew Considine can't bring the ball down at the back post before Lokomotiv close down the space.
2000: Aberdeen all in white and all at sea at the back as space opens up on the right for Lokomotiv. Bitterly cold at Pittodrie and maybe once the visitors are warmed up a bit they can make more of such an opening.
1955: TEAM NEWS Nuremberg v Everton
Nuno Valente coming in for the injured Alan Stubbs is the only change from the team that beat Birmingham at the weekend. Joleon Lescott steps in at centre-back. Yakubu is the lone striker.
1954: TEAM NEWS Aberdeen v Lokomotiv Moscow
Dons boss Jimmy Calderwood makes five changes from the side that beat Dundee United at the weekend, welcoming back Zander Diamond, Scott Severin, Chris Clark and Richard Foster from injury - while Lee Miller wins a starting place having scored after coming off the bench on Saturday.
Chris Maguire, Jeffrey de Visscher, Richie Byrne and Karim Touzani drop to the bench while Lee Mair misses out.
1953: FULL-TIME Bayern Munich 2-2 Bolton
What if Gary Megson had played a few more first-choice players? What if Ottmar Hitzfeld had kept Franck Ribery on? Never mind. It was a great game and something Bolton need to build on.
"Without the insane substituting of Bayern Munich's best players with only a one-goal advantage they would have won comfortably. The Bayern manager has under-rated Bolton completely. Good news for English fans, especially the Bolton ones."
theothefuture on 606
1952: Bolton lump it long but it skips off the turf and goes straight out. Bayern free-kick and one last chance for them to snatch the points.
1951: Bolton break. Andranik looks to free Stelios but the Greek is offside. Not on closer inspection he wasn't. But he wouldn't have got to the ball anyway.
1950: Halfway through added time. Aberdeen and Everton team news to come when this is over.
1949: Wanderers clear but only as far as Lucio. He fancies himself as a goalscorer and thumps a dipping shot on goal. It doesn't dip enough and is over.
1948: Bayern probe. Having hobbled off, Stelios sprints back on to help the Bolton cause.
1947: There will be five minutes of added time. And maybe some more as Stelios is down injured. He held his face after being clipped by Mark van Bommel.
1946: Bayern lump a free-kick on the right into the box. Seven men in the area. Hamit Altintop's delivery doesn't beat the first man, Gavin McCann.
1945: Mark van Bommel has a shot blocked. Intside the last five minutes.
"OK, let me get this straight. Bolton are drawing with one of the best teams in Europe, and yet they are in the relegation zone of the Premier League. The logic in that is?"
dirk-kuty18 on 606
1942: Bayern are stretched and two Bolton substitutes combine to force a save from Oliver Kahn. Stelios dinks the ball to Andranik and Kahn is down well to turn the ball around at his left post. The hosts clear the corner.
1941: Ali Al Habsi comes for a corner and can't claim it. Trouble at the back. Lucio thumps a shot well over.
1939: GOAL Bayern Munich 2-2 Bolton
Amazing! Out of nothing Bolton are level. A quick throw, Kevin Nolan keeps play alive in the box and finds Kevin Davies on the left who lashes a shot under Oliver Kahn.
1938: Lucio is called on in defence and is out for the count after heading a Danny Guthrie thunderbolt clear. Gurthire, who was on the books at Manchester United and Liverpool, puts the kitchen sink into his shot.
1937: Lucio fires in a low free-kick which Ali Al Habsi saves at the second attempt.
1935: Andranik on. Daniel Braaten off for Bolton. Andy O'Brien is booked for coming in from behind on Miroslav Klose on the touchline.
1933: It's all Bayern. Bolton can't get hold of the ball, let alone do anything with it.
1931: Bastian Schweinsteiger took on the Franck Ribery roaming role for a few minutes but not any more. He is replaced by Hamit Altintop. That's Bayern's last change.
1930: Mark van Bommel sees a shot deflected wide after being teed up by Bastian Schweinsteiger.
1929: Bastian Schweinsteiger wants a goal tonight, but fails to hit the target again from distance.
1927: Bolton need a goal and are beginning to leave a bit more space behind with a little over 20 minutes left on the clock. Luca Toni picks out Bastian Schweinsteiger with a square pass, but the German lashes his effort well wide.
1924: The game's lost a bit of its fluency after those changes but it still bubbling along nicely.
1921: Bolton keeper Ali Al Habsi needs treatment. He tipped over a Bastian Schweinsteiger shot and lands awkwardly. The Omani stopper is soon back on his feet, but while he is down Wanderers boss Gary Megson barks instructions to his new charges from the bench. They're going 4-4-2.
1919: Gerald Cid gets a yellow card for a foul on Bastian Scweinsteiger and is the third Bolton man in the book.
Player rater: Frank Ribery leaves the park with a mark of 8.67 from you.
1917: A brilliant save from Ali Al Habsi to deny Franck Ribery a deserved goal, and that will be the Frenchman's last contribution. He caps another slick move with a low, drilled shot that is parried over before being replaced by Toni Kroos. Ribery is afforded a standing ovation after a masterclass from his magic red boots.
"That Ribery fellow is a darn good player. He has run Bolton ragged. A worthy signing for any club if/when he leaves Bayern."
richie4eva1 on 606
He's only been there a few months so will be staying a while yet.
1915: Luca Toni's almost in but is offside by a fraction on the left of the area after being picked out by Franck Ribery.
1914: Gavin McCann catches Marcell Jansen and it's a free-kick to Bayern on the left, but not before Luca Toni comes on. The Italian has 12 goals to his name already this season and ambles on for two-goal Lukas Podolski.
1912: A first Bolton change. Stelios Giannakopoulos comes on for Mikel Alonso.
1908: Bolton probe down the right and it's long-throw territory. Poor from Kevin Nolan. A foul throw.
1905: GOAL Bayern Munich 2-1 Bolton
The Franck Ribery and Lukas Podolski combo strikes again. The Frenchman burns up the ground to the byeline on the right and his flick back is swept in at the near post by Podolski at the near post.
"Come on Bayern. Allez Ribery. Show them who is the master! Vamos los Reds!"
Elfenomeno_9, a man of many languages, on 606
1902: The action resumes in Munich. Still to come... Aberdeen v Lokomotiv Moscow and Nuremberg v Everton.
"This is where we prove that we are better than people think. Nobody rates Bolton. Maybe this match will help."
smashingmeiterules on 606
Rate the players: Ricardo Gardner and Franck Ribery have usurped Robbie Keane in your eyes as the best player on show today, with Bolton's Gardner top dog... for now.
1846: HALF-TIME Bayern Munich 1-1 Bolton
Bolton need to defend a late free-kick before the break. Miroslav Klose meets Franck Ribery's delivery at the back post but his effort pings well over. A fine 45 from Wanderers and an excellent half of football.
1844: Sublime football but Bastian Schweinsteiger can't finish it off. Lukas Podolski rolls a backheel into space in the right of the box which wrongfoots the whole Bolton team but Ali Al Habsi saves Schweinsteiger's first shot and the man whose surname translates as pig climber or some such nonsense slams the rebound into the side netting.
1842: Bastian Schweinsteiger squares a free-kick to Mark van Bommel who thunders the rolling ball through a crowded Bolton box. There's a deflection, but Ali Al Habsi is behind it all the way.
1839: Franck Ribery's got the sort of footwork you need in order to avoid people handing out free papers outside tube stations. The Frenchman may not be a looker but he's a gem of a player.
1837: Bayern's defence is far from convincing and Lucio's not exactly having the time of his life out of there. The Brazilian can thank his lucky stars Kevin Davies has the turning circle of a tanker and is slower than he is. If only Nicolas Anelka was fit.
1833: This game is everything the first of the day wasn't.
1831: GOAL Bayern Munich 1-1 Bolton
A blinding goal. Quick, inticate passing on the left between Franck Ribery, Bastian Schweinsteiger and Lukas Podolski, who having started the move finishes it with a sweetly struck shot off the outside of the left boot which arcs low into the corner.
"Noooo!!! At least it took something spectacular to get them on the scoresheet. I still say Bolton can at least hold out for a draw."
Reddevilyardie on 606
1830: So close to a second! Gavin McCann slides a pass through to Kevin Davies who bisects the centre-backs. He turns on to his right foot but shoots low wide of Oliver Kahn's right post from the edge of the area.
1829: Kevin Davies gets a bit lippy and talks himself into referee Jaroslav Jara's notebook.
Rate the players: Tottenham skipper and opening scorer Robbie Keane has set the benchmark with a score of 8.21. Do you rate any of Bolton's boys better than that?
1825: Corner number five for Bayern, but they're not getting any great return from them. They've had 73% of the ball. They're not getting much from that either against Gary Megson's warriors.
1823: Miroslav Klose turns in the box and goes down with Lubomir Michalik at his back. He goes to ground. Everyone's baying for a penalty. The referee's not interested, although Michalik did have a handful of Klose's shirt.
1821: Lukas Podolski shins a shot high over the bar from Franck Ribery's pull back. Ribery is in great form. Podolski isn't. He hasn't scored for 11 games.
1820: Corner to Bayern. What can they create here? Nothing. It fails to beat the first man in a white shirt.
1818: Andreas Ottl scoops a shot over the Bolton bar. Poor finish after a good build up with Franck Ribery to the fore. They need to test Ali Al Habsi. This is only his second game for Wanderers.
1816: Bayern were behind in their opening Uefa Cup group match against Red Star Belgrade, twice. They left it late but two goals in the last five minutes secured a 3-2 win.
1814: Daniel Braaten is steaming down the left, but Lucio comes over and earns a dubious free-kick after tangling with the Bolton man deep by the corner flag.
1811: Marcell Jansen fires wide from distance as Bolton fans go doolally singing something about Wanderers being the greatest team the world has ever seen.
1809: GOAL Bayern Munich 0-1 Bolton
Ricardo Gardner pounces on a loose ball in space in the box and his deflected shot beats Oliver Kahn. A long throw caused chaos in the home defence and Bolton stun their hosts... and pretty much everyone else.
"Hahahaha! I've got Bolton to win 2-1 at 40/1. Come on."
smokingJulian on 606
"They'll lose 4-1 or 5-1, but yes, Bolton well done."
OleSolskjaerLegend on 606
1806: Franck Ribery's a classy player. He's flying down the left and gets another teasing cross in. Gavin McCann's in for a torrid evening.
"Bayern Munich outfit looks like they're going to funeral. I wonder who will be buried in this game?"
ypsylon on 606
1803: Time for Bayern to muster something in response. Miroslav Klose throws himself at a Franck Ribery cross but fails to make contact.
1802: Good start for Bolton, but Daniel Braaten can't turn an effort on goal.
1801: Here we go. Gavin McCann's playing right-back for Wanderers.
1758: Wanderers fans are making good noise as the players come out. Bayern in black. Bolton in white. Will it be a black and white match?
"You never know. We could well keep Bayern at bay for the first half. After that their strikers will start to get frustrated. Then some Kevin Davies and Kevin Nolan magic late on. It's a funny old game football."
smashingmeiterules on 606
1754: Gary Megson knows about shocks in Europe though, and shocks against Bayern Munich. He was an unused substitute in 1993 when Norwich beat the Germans 2-1. "A result like that is what makes football the great game it is. People expect a certain result and the way a game is going to go but it doesn't always follow that pattern." We'll see.
1752: A lop-sided look on the pitch, and in the dug out in Bavaria. Bayern boss Ottmar Hitzfeld has won the Champions League twice, five Bundesliga titles, a German Cup and four trophies in Switzerland. Gary Megson has won two promotions with West Brom and also led Stockport to their best ever finish of eighth in the Championship. This is his first European match as a manager.
1749: TEAM NEWS Bayern Munich v Bolton
Bolton boss Gary Megson springs a surprise naming goalkeeper Ali Al Habsi in his starting line-up. Only five players remain from the injury-depleted XI that drew against West Ham - Andy O'Brien, Danny Guthrie, Kevin Nolan, Ricardo Gardner and Kevin Davies. No Luca Toni for Bayern, but the rest of the bog boys are there. Al Habsi could be busy.
"The 'bog boys' - an elite group of German toilet cleaners Charlie?"
Chris, in Nottingham, via text on 81111
Nothing toilet about those big boys Chris. Thanks for the subbing. You're better than the pros here.
"Where's Jussi!?!? The only hope Bolton had of getting a point was for him to play a blinder."
kirkthemag on 606
1747: FULL-TIME Hapoel Tel-Aviv 0-2 Tottenham
Boos ring around the Bloomfield Stadium for the home team. In the away ranks Dimitar Berbatov isn't smiling and Juande Ramos and Gus Poyet have a little hug. Three points. Job done. Poor game. Work to do.
"Berbs is being a pansie! He has the attitude of a grumpy child. I only saw him jog in the second half. That performance was certainly not one of an out of form player, it was of a lazy player."UK_Laye on 606
1745: Two minutes of added time to play.
1744: Kevin-Prince Boateng, who has 13 tattoos and hammer of a shot, is booked for a late tackle.
1743: Darren Bent is through on goal after latching on to Jermain Defoe's forward pass that bisects the defence, but after rounding the keeper dribbles a shot on to the post with defenders scrambling back.
1742: Five minutes to go at the Bloomfield Stadium and Tottenham are on the back foot. Paul Stalteri concedes a corner.
1741: Bayern Munich are top of the Bundesliga, but have seen their advantage cut in recent weeks after goalless draws against Borussia Dortmund and Frankfurt. Bolton are second bottom of the Premier League and let an advantage slip in their opening group match and haven't won any of their last six.
1739: The game at the Allianz Arena looks like a complete mis-match. Bayern Munich are one of Europe's form teams and are unbeaten this season. Bolton aren't even one of Lancashire's form teams.
"That is such an odd fixture. Bayern Munich at home to Bolton! Weird. I can see Bolton either crumbling and getting hammered, or crumbling and snatching a draw courtesy of some Jussi Jaaskelainen heroics."
rhys85 on 606
1737: Time to start thinking about Bolton who get their second game of the group stage going in a little over 20 minutes. Have they got a chance against Bayern Munich?
1736: Dider Zokora fizzes a low shot wide of the Hapoel woodwork. Into the last 10 minutes. Thank goodness for that.
1734: Wali Badir beats Michael Dawson in the air to get on the end of Igal Antebi's free-kick, but his header loops high over the bar.
1733: Excellent save from Paul Robinson, but what are Tottenham doing being done like that against 10 men? Fabio Junior races in behind the two centre-backs but cannot loft the ball over the on-rushing Robinson.
1730: Walking pace from Hapoel when they do manage to get the ball. Have a good evening if that's the end of your clockwatching at work.
1728: Kevin-Prince Boateng picks out the blue-booted Aaron Lennon on the right but the low cross is saved by Vincent Enyeama with Darren Bent lurking.
1725: Dimitar Berbatov wins a corner but Hapoel easily clear Aaron Lennon's delivery.
1724: A result from Everton's group. Zenit St Petersburg have come from behind to beat Larissa 3-2. That means the Russians are top of the pile in Group A for the time being on four points and the Greeks, who beat Blackburn earlier in the tournament, are still on zero points. Everton, who kick-off against Nuremberg at 2005 GMT, have three points to their name.
1723: Two more changes for Tottenham. Kevin-Prince Boateng and Darren Bent replace Robbie Keane and everyone's favourite midfielder Jermaine Jenas.
1720: Robbie Keane drags a shot across goal and wide. A very predictable pattern to the game. All Tottenham. All pretty tedious. Hapoel can't be bothered with this. It's all about their weekend match against Maccabi now.
1717: Jermain Defoe is booked.
1716: It's International Word Record Day today. Have any of you set a record today? Some bloke tried to drag a red doubledecker bus 10 metres with his ear lobes but only managed 3.7m. In Sydney they have made the world's largest underpants and in South Africa they're going for the the longest bra chain!
1713: A third change for Hapoel and it's a return for one of the 'Casino Three'. Club captain Igal Antebi replaces Barukh Dega.
1711: Jermain Defoe comes on for Steed Malbranque. Dimitar Berbatov looks to be dropping into a hole behind Defoe and Robbie Keane with Aaron Lennon swapping from the right flank to the left. That's not an actual hole.
"Jenas is a destroyer of ordinary teams. Now they're down to 10 men look for him to dominate the midfield. Go up a notch in class, and he's the sort of player who goes missing too often."
madjackmcmad on 606
1709: One-way traffic.
1708: Tottenham had 58% of the ball in the first half and that figure is only going to rise. Steed Malbranque drives a low shot wide of the post.
1706: Badgers like peanut butter.
1705: RED CARD Hapoel Tel-Aviv
This is getting stickier than a jar of peanut butter for Hapoel. Gal Shish catches Aaron Lennon from behind. A second booking and he's off down the tunnel and Guy Luzon's half-time teamtalk and tactics changes were a complete waste of time as now they have to re-shuffle everything.
1703: Barukh Dego swings in an enticing cross but no Hapoel player is there to get on the end of it. Better from the hosts.
1700: Time for the second 45 and this should be easy going for Spurs. Hapoel have boosted their attack with Abedi and Amar Manzor has also come on. Lior Bakshi and Shay Abutbul have made way.
"We were 2 up against Fulham!
Andrew, in Milton Keynes, via text on 81111
"Next goal is on 49mins 41seconds. Keane again, but there'll be some debate as there's a deflection."
designbyvinny on 606
"Spurs 2 up? I'm going outside to check for other signs of the apocalypse."
Charlie via text on 81111
Player rater: No surprise that Dimitar Berbatov, Robbie Keane and Steed Malbranque are your picks as the best players out there, but who's leading the way? Keane, just.
1649: The general consensus from you is that Jermain Jenas is a waste of space but the Uefa Cup isn't. Everyone is watching the clock at work and waiting to go home.
1645: HALF-TIME Hapoel Tel-Aviv 0-2 Tottenham
"The revolution has begun. Whether it's pretty or not, Spurs are winning. Come on the boys."
Darren via text on 81111
1642: Pascal Chimbonda heads a Jermaine Jenas free-kick inches over the bar.
"Dave Mackay would run through brick walls for Tottenham. Jenas would apologetically whisper that he has lost the keys for the door, then sleep on a park bench for the night."
Spooky, in London, via text on 81111
"Let's get behind the team for once and stop slating the players. Yes, Jenas isn't much good at the moment, but he's wearing our colours."
RustySpurs on 606
1641: Now Gabriel dos Santos is booked for a bit of needle in the box with Dimitar berbatov. The Bulgarian's getting under everyone's skin.
1640: This match has been played in such a gentle manner and suddenly out of nothing there's a bit of aggro going down.Aaron Lennon is fouled and before Dimitar Berbatov and Gal Shish have a pretty lame push and shove. They are both booked.
1638: Dimitar Berbatov strides into the box and unleashes a stinging shot which Vincent Enyeama parries. Robbie Keane's follow-up slams into the forearm of Gabriel dos Santos and balloons over. Keane wants a penalty. Ball to hand. Dos Santos had no chance of getting out of the way.
"Now Spurs can start playing their football. First time for a while that they have had the comfort of a two-goal lead."
xIamTHEeggMAN on 606
"Why are Spurs so poor this season? We should be smashing teams like this."
Oly, also bored at work, via text on 81111.
Two goals up with a little over a third of the game gone's not bad going! What more do you want?
1633: Does anyone out there actually rate the Uefa Cup anymore? This isn't great to watch.
1631: Does anyone out there actually rate Jermaine Jenas? He's getting absolutely slated on 606 and via text on 81111. "Over-rated", "rubbish", "totally mediocre".
1629: GOAL Hapoel Tel-Aviv 0-2 Tottenham
Steed Malbranque's the provider again with another dinked chip into the box from the left. This time Dimitar Berbatov is on the end of it to head in and double Tottenham's advantage. The goal capped a good break ignited by the searing pace of Aaron Lennon on the right.
"I have recorded this game at home. Regretting it now after the texts coming through about the game!"
Gaz, bored at work, via text on 81111
Just fast forward to the goal. It was 26 minutes in.
1625: GOAL Hapoel Tel-Aviv 0-1 Tottenham
Not sure they fully deserve to go a goal up, but they are. Robbie Keane releases Steed Malbranque on the left of the area and is on hand to powerfully volley in the Frenchman's clip back from the byeline. That's the captain's 10th goal of the season and he brings up double figures in style.
1623: Here we go. Oh no we don't. Robbie Keane and Aaron Lennon attempt to play their way through a crowd of red shirts on the edge of the box and can't.
"To all you Spurs fans out there. You should have no problems beating Tel Aviv. I saw them against Anderlecht and although Anderlecht were very poor they still beat Tel Aviv quite easily."
scaramanga27 on 606
1620: Tottenham are going to have to be cute in attack. Hapoel look disciplined in defence and there are a lot of red shirts behind the ball whenever the visitors probe forward.
1618: Didier Zokora injects a bit of forward momentum into Tottenham's midfield before his break is cut down with a foul. Another poor, poor free-kick from Jermaine Jenas.
"We need Bale back, Jenas can't take free-kicks. Come on Berbs."
KOTL via text on 81111
1616: Dimitar Berbatov berates his strike partner Robbie Keane as he attempts to pick a pass and then takes things into his own hands, spanking a shot well wide.
1615: Things are all a bit more pedestrian after that pacy opening.
"We don't seem able to get hold of the ball and play football. No wonder Ramos is frustrated!"
Purrbatov on 606
1613: First corner cleared for a second corner. Steed Malbranque's second attempt goes straight to Vincent Enyeama.
1612: Steed Malbranque feeds Dimitar Berbatov wide on the left. The Bulgarian takes a touch too many and Gabriel dos Santos slides in to block the attempted cross and concede a corner.
1610: Jermaine Jenas spooned his last free-kick straight through to the Hapoel keeper last time. From the same spot he fails to beat the first defender this time.
1607: Really open stuff. Aaron Lennon whistles down the right. Great break, poor cross. Hapoel clear.
1606: Nervy defending seems to be spreading in the Tottenham ranks. Young-Pyo Lee gifts an opening to Bebars Natcho who drags a shot wide. The Hapoel number six looks handy.
1604: Spurs stopper Paul Robinson gets an early touch of the ball after some sketchy defending from Pascal Chimbonda. The Frenchman doesn't look too comfortable in the unfamiliar position of centre-back early doors.
1602: Jermaine Jenas swings a free-kick all the way through to Hapoel keeper Vincent Enyeama.
1600: Tottenham get the ball rolling, promptly on the hour on a pleasant evening in Israel.
"I expect Tottenham to win but they haven't been killing off teams like they are capable."
sefton-park-blues on 606.
1557: Here come the players... something you can't really say about the fans at the Bloomfield Stadium although it has filled up. The hosts in red and Spurs all in white. Dimitar Berbatov's at the back of the line and looks to be smiling. Maybe he is happy after all, despite the mumbling grumblings of his assorted relatives.
1555: Early shouts for Tottenham over on 606, although there is one dissenter who thinks Hapoel will win. Have your say at any stage of the action either on 606or via a text on 81111.
1552: Hapoel boss Guy Luzon may not have a job at all come this time next week. Lose against Tottenham and then the Tel Aviv derby against Maccabi and he must surely be shown the door.
1550: Too damn right they're desperate for a win. Hapoel Tel-Aviv have played eight games in the Ligat Ha'Al, are yet to win and are rock bottom with three points. They also lost their opening Uefa Cup group game in Anderlecht, after which three players were disciplined for going walkabout to a Belgian casino afterwards. And Juande Ramos thought he had a job on his hands.
1548: Tottenham assistant Gus Poyet gets a turn in front of the microphone. "The players will show everyone we've come here to win," he says. Poyet's hoping the team impose their quality against opponents who are desperate for a win.
1546: TEAM NEWS Hapoel Tel-Aviv v Tottenham
Spurs boss Juande Ramos has made four changes from the team that drew his first Premier League match at Middlesbrough. Out go Younes Kaboul, Kevin-Prince Boateng, Darren Bent and Jermain Defoe. In come Paul Stalteri, Didier Zokora, Dimitar Berbatov and Robbie Keane. Pascal Chimbonda is playing at centre-back.
1545: So then, all eyes on Tel Aviv, where there are no eyes watching from the stands. It's almost empty! They may as well have scheduled this game for Telford. At least it might have looked busy.
1543: After Telford... sorry, Tel Aviv, we'll be wending our way to the Allianz Arena in Bavaria, home to Bayern Munich for that game of theirs against Bolton. Then, long after most have you will have left work and your computer for something better, our plodding cross-country course comes to a T-junction. In one direction is a short trip to Nuremberg for their match against Everton, while the other way is Aberdeen, who host Lokomitov Moscow. Our omnipotent presence will be at both games.
1540: Have you guessed which one's which yet? If not, here's the clincher. The second place adds that at its heart is "the biggest and best shopping centre in all of Shopaholic Shropshire."
1539: So where's today's magical European odyssey going to take us? We're starting in Tel Aviv, which is two hours ahead of the UK. Pump Tel Aviv into the world clock and Telford also comes up. One city markets itself as a place for "fun and sun" with "sea and love, coffee and gourmet, music and art, clubs and bars, night and day, smiles and hit, modern and fresh." The other describes itself as having "gleaming buildings and hi-tech businesses [which] mark it out as a town for the future."
1537: What chance four British wins? Somewhere between slim and anorexic. Tottenham and Everton should bag the points against woefully out-of-sorts opponents and Aberdeen also have a better-than-even chance of victory. And then there's Bolton. Against Bayern Munich.
1535: Did you know it is The Four Crowned Ones' Day today? Seems apt. OK, the Catholic slant and talk of martyrdom and anonymous saints is more than a little bit off topic, but we want to crown four British victors today.