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By Caroline Cheese
1925: A thousand... no wait... a million thanks for your company today. Turned out all right in the end didn't it? Don't leave Greenie hanging - he's taking your calls on 606 right now. Match of the Day kicks off at 2230 BST on BBC1. Hasta manana.
1922: Potentially crucial wins for both Bolton and Fulham today and a 6-0 victory for Aston Villa - but our Player of the Day is from none of those teams. It's Spurs striker Dimitar Berbatov on 8.18. Hey, I don't come up with the scores, you do. Shouts for Birmingham super-sub Mauro Zarate (7.29), Aston Villa midfielder Gareth Barry (7.68) and Fulham winger Simon Davies (7.73). After letting in six, Derby keeper Roy Carroll's mark of 2.84 is probably the least of his worries.
1914: That result dents Portsmouth's hopes of catching Everton in fifth place. They remain four points behind, while Aston Villa's 6-0 win at Derby means they're two points behind Pompey in seventh. Newcastle stay 12th.
1912: Not a great game. Very odd how the late Saturday kick-offs very often turn out to be disappointments. Newcastle will be happier with a point, I'm sure, although it could have been more if Michael Owen's close-range shot hadn't hit David James' head and gone over.
1910: FULL-TIME Portsmouth 0-0 Newcastle
1909: That sums up David Nugent at the moment. He climbs for a header which goes wide - when Papa Bouba Diop behind him was much better placed.
1908: Niko Kranjcar sets up Papa Bouba Diop on the edge of the area but his shot hits the roof of the stand. Portsmouth have managed two efforts on target today.
1904: A marvellous understatement from Fulham boss Roy Hodgson: "Whichever two teams go down now, it will be major disappointment."
1902: Less than five minutes remaining and I'm praying for a bit of late drama...
1858: Newcastle make their first change with Alan Smith replacing Mark Viduka.
1857: Ref Phil Dowd wants a word with Joe Jordan after the Portsmouth assistant gets a little over-excited about a throw-in decision. It's been that sort of game, I'm afraid.
1852: No surprise in Harry Redknapp's first change. A tired-looking Kanu trots off to be replaced by David Nugent - who has scored for England but not in the Premier League.
1850: Just seen replays. Owen didn't blaze over - his shot hit James' head and went over. His afternoon/evening's getting better.
1847: Oh my goodness. Sylvain Distin gets his clearance all wrong and the ball ends up going towards goal where Michael Owen wastes a glorious chance to give Newcastle the lead, blazing over from a few yards out. He gets a consoling slap on the shoulders from England team-mate David James.
1846: Here's Bolton boss Gary Megson after the win over West Ham: "It was a terrific result, a terrific performance. The players deserve great credit not just for the way they played but in the circumstances in which they played because we didn't just battle, scrap and run and fight we actually played it on quite a few occasions."
1841: Claret... Steven Taylor has to be cleaned up after taking a blow on the nose. He'll have to change his shirt of course.
1839: Magpies keeper Steve Harper pushes Jermain Defoe's deflected shot around the post - which gives Pompey their first corner of the match. Harper collects though.
1837: Nice move from Portsmouth. Kanu backheels the return pass for Glen Johnson, whose shot hits Jermain Defoe before going wide.
1834: I tell you what, David James has just made an excellent save. I didn't realise quite how good it was until I saw the replay. Obafemi Martins' shot almost squeezes in at the near post but James gets a hand to it.
1833: If you need to organise your TV viewing for later, here's the provisional order of play on Match of the Day: Reading v Fulham, Bolton v West Ham, Birmingham v Everton, Derby v Aston Villa, Portsmouth v Newcastle, Sunderland v Man City, Tottenham v Middlesbrough.
1830: Jermain Defoe spins away from his marker at the far post as Papa Bouba Diop's cross comes over but the striker volleys wide from a great position. Expected him to score that.
1829: It's Steve Harper's turn to don a cap as he tries to keep out the sun. It's fair to say he looks a lot less ridiculous than poor old David James did in the first half. Newcastle building up some pressure early in the second half.
1826: David James - not having of his better days - throws the ball straight to Geremi but the Newcastle midfielder's lob goes harmlessly behind.
1823: Papa Bouba Diop is hopping about after Mark Viduka treads on his foot. He's off for a bit of treatment but I reckon he'll be fine.
1821: Kevin Keegan's looking pensive as he heads back to the dug-out. Phil Dowd gets the second half under way.
1817: "I have just seen Dennis Wise get off my train in Stevenage. Shouldn't he be in Portsmouth?" Jd, on a train funnily enough, via text on 81111
1812: This is a sorry state of affairs. There are more texts coming in about golf than football at the moment. Yes, golf. Apparently, play has been halted at the Masters. Is it raining or something? Are the covers on?
1808: If you're interested, I don't think that was a penalty for Portsmouth. It definitely hit Steven Taylor's arm but he knew absolutely nothing about it. Would have been very harsh anyway.
1805: HALF-TIME Portsmouth 0-0 Newcastle
1804: Is that Steven Taylor trying a spectacular overhead kick? It is, you know. The Magpies defender's effort flies wide though.
1801: Suddenly it's all action. Michael Owen fails to get a touch on Geremi's free-kick but his leap is enough to put off David James, who carries the ball out of play. From the corner. Mark Viduka shoots weakly, allowing James to collect. Up the other end, Pompey want a penalty after Kanu's shot hits Steven Taylor's foot then his hand - but ref Phil Dowd says no.
1759: Portsmouth midfielder Sulley Muntari blasts a free-kick straight into the wall. Ho-hum.
1757: Portsmouth think they deserve a free-kick for Steven Taylor's tug on Kanu's shirt but nothing given and Obafemi Martins eventually picks up the ball and skips past a couple of challenges before hitting a shot over the bar.
1751: The Pompey fans are in great voice. They're a lot more impressive than their team is at the moment - although they come quite close to opening the scoring when a cross cannons off Kanu and just wide of the post.
1748: Mark Viduka gets into a good position out right but his driven cross is awful really, with Obafemi Martins waiting in the middle.
1743: "I reckon Fulham will stay up and Reading will go down because I think Zarate and McFadden will be able to drag Birmingham through. Relegated - Derby, Bolton , Reading." oligold11 on 606
1733: "I can accept being thrashed, but not one player came to show their appreciation of our magnificent support, after we never stopped singing for the whole second half. That makes me truly furious." Rob via text on 81111 A Derby fan I assume.
1732: David James is smiling a bit sheepishly after haring out of his goal to meet a long ball ahead of Obafemi Martins. He swings and almost completely misses and is lucky to give away only a corner.
1730: Anyone changed their mind about who's dropping out of the Prem this season after today's results? I think it was decided a couple of weeks ago - and I'm standing by that. Fulham's next game is at home to Liverpool, while Bolton visit Boro.
1728: All a bit quiet on the pitch so the Pompey fans are singing about their imminent trip to Wemberlee.
1724: David James does well to collect Geremi's free-kick from the right after Sylvain Distin's foul on Mark Viduka. A quiet start though.
1718: Off we go then. Obafemi Martins has a shot almost from the halfway line to kick us off - cheeky tinker. David James has somehow wedged a cap over his enormous barnet to shield his eyes from the late afternoon sunshine at Fratton Park.
1714: "The best game of the day is yet to be played, Portsmouth v Newcastle. Newcastle might clinch this one 1-2." Sakaria2 on 606
1705: TEAM NEWS Portsmouth v Newcastle Portsmouth striker Jermain Defoe starts after missing the win over West Ham to attend a funeral. He partners Kanu up front, as David Nugent returns to the bench. Sean Davis replaces Pedro Mendes in midfield. Newcastle boss Kevin Keegan makes one change from the team that thrashed Reading 3-0, Steven Taylor returning in defence as David Edgar drops back to the bench.
1700: "Well done Fulham. Loyal fans sitting in a pub in north London and buying pints all round." Dan via text on 81111
1656: Well, what a funny old day. Bolton are now just two points from safety, with Fulham two points further back after their first away win in 34 league games. Reading now only three points above the drop zone. Derby's goal difference is now minus 58.
1654: FULL-TIME Tottenham 1-1 Middlesbrough
1654: FULL-TIME Sunderland 1-2 Man City
1653: FULL-TIME Birmingham 1-1 Everton
1652: FULL-TIME Reading 0-2 Fulham
1651: FULL-TIME Bolton 1-0 West Ham
1650: FULL-TIME Derby 0-6 Aston Villa
1648: GOAL Reading 0-2 Fulham Sub Erik Nevland wraps up Fulham's first away win in 34 games with a cool finish.
1646: GOAL Sunderland 1-2 Man City Heartbreak for Sunderland. Darius Vassell's effort is absolutely awful - scuffed, miscued and mis-hit - but it's still enough to trickle past keeper Craig Gordon.
1643: Agonisingly close for West Ham - patient build-up play by Dean Ashton and Scott Parker before the ex-Newcastle man sees his low shot towards the bottom left-hand corner fumbled behind by the keeper for a corner.
1643: GOAL Derby 0-6 Aston Villa Patrik Berger releases Marlon Harewood, who slots past Roy Carroll - who, dare I say, might have done better. A dark day for Derby, even by their standards.
1643: Manchester City midfielder Elano volleys over from six yards.
1641: GOAL Birmingham 1-1 Everton Why was he on the bench again? Mauro Zarate takes aim with a 20-yard free-kick and promptly curls it into the top corner of the Everton net. There was a defender on the post, but he couldn't get near it. A touch of Argentine class.
1640: GOAL Sunderland 1-1 Man City That didn't last long then. Captain Dean Whitehead meets Andy Reid's cross with a crisp volley. A deserved equaliser.
1638: GOAL Sunderland 0-1 Man City Nyron Nosworthy is very harshly penalised for tripping City striker Daniel Sturridge - didn't look like much, if any, contact there. Elano takes a very cool spot-kick - and City score with their first shot on target.
1637: Penalty to Manchester City.
1636: GOAL Birmingham 0-1 Everton A goal against the run of play - which could lead to deep, deep trouble for Birmingham. Andy Johnson keeps the ball in play on the left of the box and chips it up for Yakubau, whose header is nodded home by Joleon Lescott.
1634: GOAL Derby 0-5 Aston Villa Oh dear, Derby. Gabriel Agbonlahor latches on to a long kick and angles a shot low into the corner.
1631: Not a lot happening at the Stadium of Light. Sunderland are seeing more of the ball but their final pass is letting them down when it matters. Manchester City haven't managed a shot on target yet.
1630: Fulham hit the crossbar yet again - is that the third time now? - through Jimmy Bullard's 25-yard free-kick.
1629: GOAL Tottenham 1-1 Middlesbrough Stewart Downing's right-foot - yes, right-foot - shot is deflected in off Jermaine Jenas's head.
1627: Brede Hangeland sees his shot pushed onto the crossbar by Reading keeper Marcus Hahnemann as Fulham are denied a second.
1627: Everton keeper Tim Howard makes a fabulous double save to keep it 0-0 at St Andrews. He throws himself to his right to stop Radhi Jaidi's shot hitting the top corner and then saves the follow-up from James McFadden.
1622: El-Hadji Diouf's shot is brilliantly saved by West Ham keeper Rob Green and though Kevin Nolan taps in the rebound, the Bolton midfielder is offside. On comes West Ham wonder boy Freddie Sears.
1621: Birmingham striker James McFadden gets his free-kick up and over the wall but Tim Howard is across to bounce the ball once and collect. Blues playing with a bit of urgency now - maybe they've heard the scorelines from the Reebok and the Madejski.
1620: "It's all Fulham right now. I can't believe they're only winning by 1 goal. It makes me think Reading will probably equalise in the last minute." blueJ2 on 606
1618: "Re 1539: Why is everyone having a go at Derby? Yes we're awful but I don't see many teams getting a full house every week and we're a shocking side. That's where pride comes from Caroline so we will continue to call it Pride Park thanks. " Anon via text on 81111
1615: GOAL Derby 0-4 Aston Villa Gabriel Agbonlahor is fed by Ashley Young and though his shot is saved by Roy Carroll, Gareth Barry is on hand to tap into the empty net.
1614: "The great form Everton were on earlier this season seems a distant memory..." toffees1888 on 606
1612: Dean Ashton's audacious overhead kick is tipped onto the bar by Bolton keeper Ali Al-Habsi after Carlton Cole's knockdown.
1610: Birmingham miss an absolute sitter. Liam Ridgewell volleys over from five yards with the goal gaping. "The chance of the match by 100 miles," reports the BBC Radio 5 Live commentator.
1608: Looks like Bolton scorer Kevin Davies has a dislocated finger, which the physio does his best to snap back into place. Even the big man winces a bit...
1608: Brian McBride is unlucky not to get his second for Fulham at the Madejski as his volley from 15 yards hits the bar.
1604: GOAL Bolton 1-0 West Ham Interesting. Very interesting. Kevin Davies stabs in a corner with Jonathan Spector getting in keeper Rob Green's way. A win would put Bolton two points from safety as things stand.
The bottom of the table as it stands at half-time
1600: So as it stands, Fulham will move up to 27 points along with Bolton, four from safety.
1554: Sorry, I don't want to keep banging on about Derby but... their player ratings are truly awful. Bizarrely, Roy Carroll is not bottom of the pile, Andy Todd takes that honour with 2.88. Only one player has more than five and that's Tito Villa. Not sure why.
1548: Time for the Derby fans to breath a huge sigh of relief. Not even their team could concede a goal at half-time... could they?
1546: Andy Johnson spins a shot wide of the far post from Yakubu's clever pass. Birmingham defender Liam Ridgewell stuck tight to his man and made the angle difficult for Johnson.
1541: First yellow card of the afternoon at Bolton. West Ham substitute John Pantsil offers few complaints as he is booked for trying to split Kevin Davies's shin pads. From the resulting free-kick by Ivan Campo, Gavin McCann flicks on to El-Hadji Diouf who pokes in from close range at the far post, but the offside flag is up - much to the relief of the visiting fans.
1541: Cameron Jerome's soaring header comes back off the post as Birmingham go so close.
1539: Apparently, they're renaming Derby's ground 'Park'. Roy Carroll's weak punch goes straight to John Carew but the Derby keeper does redeem himself a tiny bit by pulling off a magnificent save. The Derby fans are leaving their seats already.
1536: GOAL Derby 0-3 Aston Villa Roy Carroll has had the world's worst first-half. His terrible kick goes straight to Stilyan Petrov, who, quick as a flash, lobs the ball straight back over the keeper's head and into the corner from about 45 yards.
1533: Another near thing for Bolton - El Hadji Diouf's inswinging corner from the left finds Kevin Davies, whose downward header is bouncing goalwards until Scott Parker clears it off the line for another corner. Maybe it's something to do with the first-minute loss of Anton Ferdinand having torn up their gameplan but West Ham have looked all over the shop so far, on the backfoot the whole time.
1531: So Derby are heading for their 28th league game without a win and their 19th under Paul Jewell. Fulham could win away in the league for the first time in 34 attempts - that's a Premier League record, you know.
1527: GOAL Tottenham 1-0 Middlesbrough Great work from Dimitar Berbatov, who flicks the ball up on the left of the box before crossing for Aaron Lennon at the far post. The winger's scuffed volley comes off Jonathan Grounds for an own goal.
1526: GOAL Derby 0-2 Aston Villa John Carew doubles the Villa lead, rifling in from 20 yards after Derby calamitously fail to clear their lines after a Gareth Barry cross from the left. It's Carew's for now, but did it just get the slightest touch off Gabriel Agbonlahor on its way in?
1525: GOAL Derby 0-1 Aston Villa Under pressure from Olof Mellberg, Roy Carroll makes a terrible mess of dealing with Ashley Young's free-kick and the ball lands in the net.
1523: GOAL Reading 0-1 Fulham Simon Davies crosses from the left for Brian McBride to slide home what could be a crucial goal for Roy Hodgson's Fulham.
1520: Joleon Lescott bulldozes his way past two defenders and the keeper before shooting into the side netting - a rare bit of goalmouth action at St Andrews.
1518: Another scare for West Ham as Jlloyd Samuel twists and turns through the left-hand side of West Ham's defence and plays a nice one-two with Matthew Taylor, only for his shot at the end of it to go straight at keeper Robert Green. Not a serious threat, but it will certainly encourage the home side.
1518: "Have all the games ever ended 0-0 before?" AlexAlexAlexAlex on 606
1507: Bolton nearly cash in on the confusion in West Ham's defence caused by Ferdinand's departure. Jlloyd Samuel crosses from the left, and Kevin Davies gets on the end of it over the other side of the goalmouth. His effort was heading goalwards until Jonathan Spector cleared it off the line from right under the bar - a big scare for the visitors there.
1501: Away we go everywhere and it's almost a calamity for Birmingham defender Liam Ridgewell in the opening seconds as his clearance rebounds off Andy Johnson's head and goes just over. West Ham have to make an early change as Anton Ferdinand limps off to be replaced by John Paintsil and at White Hart Lane, Afonso Alves has a goal ruled out for offside. What a start.
1459: Derby against Aston Villa sees a club top of their reserve league meet a club bottom of theirs. I'll leave you to guess which is which. And by the way, Villa lines up against Villa.
1456: According to the BBC Radio 5 Live reporter at the Madejski Stadium, it's raining on one half of the pitch.
1453: TEAM NEWS Reading v Fulham Fulham hand a rare start to striker David Healy in place of Leon Andreasen. Clint Dempsey replaces Diomansy Kamara in the only other change to the side thumped 3-1 by Sunderland.
Marek Matejovsky returns from suspension for Reading, while Glen Little returns to the squad for the first time
in over a year after recovering from an Achilles injury.
1452: "Hat-trick for Alves today. Spurs won't get a goal. Well I'm forever an optimist!" Springboksmogfrog from ripon, via text on 81111
1445: "Derby will win today mark my words!!" guidos_4_reds on 606
1441: TEAM NEWS Derby v Aston Villa
Defenders Tyrone Mears and Alan Stubbs both return from long-term lay-offs to bolster manager Paul Jewell's Derby line-up. Stubbs steps in for the benched Dean Leacock, whilst Mears replaces injured Mile Sterjovski. With striker John Carew successfully shaking off a recurrence of a groin problem, Aston Villa boss Martin O'Neill names an unchanged side.
1440: TEAM NEWS Birmingham v Everton Birmingham make three changes from the team defeated at Wigan, with James McFadden, Liam Ridgewell, Mehdi Nafti coming into the side. Martin Taylor misses out through injury, Damien Johnson is suspended while Mauro Zarate drops to the bench. Everton boss David Moyes also make three changes from the team that defeated Derby 1-0 last Sunday - Tony Hibbert, Steven Pienaar and Phil Jagielka in for Leon Osman, Mikel Arteta and Joseph Yobo.
1439: TEAM NEWS Bolton v West Ham Bolton captain Kevin Nolan returns after suspension with defender Jlloyd Samuel and midfielder Ivan Campo also back in the side. Danny Guthrie, Joey O'Brien and Heidar Helguson are the three players who miss out after last weekend's 4-0 thumping by Aston Villa. West Ham make two changes to the side beaten 1-0 by Porsmouth on Tuesday, defender Matthew Upson returning from a calf injury to replace Lucas Neill (ankle), and midfielder Jack Collison making his first senior start in place of Nolberto Solano.
1436: TEAM NEWS Tottenham v Middlesbrough Tottenham's Paul Robinson (ankle) and Jamie O'Hara (bruised foot) remain sidelined so Juande Ramos keeps faith with the side which drew 1-1 with Blackburn. Jonathan Grounds, 20, starts in place of Andrew Taylor in the only change to the Middlesbrough team which drew 2-2 at home with Manchester United.
1434: TEAM NEWS Sunderland v Man City Sunderland make one change with Michael Chopra replacing Carlos Edwards on the right of midfield. Sun Jihai comes in at right-back for Manchester City and Vedran Corluka moves across to centre-back to replace the injured Nedum Onuoha.
1428: "Re 1420: Is James McFadden playing??" Anon via text on 81111 Yes.
1427: "I think all the home teams today will win, apart from... yes, Derby." Josh-Orwin on 606
1420: Goodness. Mauro Zarate - a reported £18m target for West Ham - is on the bench for Birmingham. What's that about?
1415: Derby have won four of their last six Premier League home games against Aston Villa, including the last two. Sounds like a mismatch at Pride Park.
1410: And in another goalfest, Leeds beat second-placed Carlisle 3-2 in League One. Let's hope this is a sign of things to come today...
1407: Well, well. A shocker in Scotland as Queen of the South stun SPL side Aberdeen 4-3 in a frankly ridiculous game. The Doonhamers (which might be my new favourite team nickname) will meet Rangers, Partick or St Johnstone in the Scottish Cup final.
1400: Just an hour to go until kick-off so it seems as good a time as any to start talking about today's football. Here's my first stat of the day: there have been 49 league meetings between Bolton and West Ham and there has never been a 0-0 draw. Incroyable!
1352: "Regarding kits: I'm a Sutton United fan and get to wear a lovely amber and chocolate number. Beat that if you can!" Gaz, stuck at work, via text on 81111
1348: "My favourite shirt ever has to be when Scarborough were sponsored by Black Death Vodka. It had to be seen to be believed. Those were the days..." nowthennathan on 606
1324: I'd like to remind Roy of the Arsenal away kit of the early 90s. The yellow one with black triangles? Horrible thing it was. And I believe they won the FA Cup and League Cup in that monstrosity.
1319: I don't think anyone can argue that Roy Keane has been a very welcome addition to Premier League management this season. He tells the Daily Telegraph this morning that he's been having his say on Sunderland's kit. He explains: "I really think it's important to have a nice kit. You don't see teams with bad kits winning the European Cup or leagues. Barcelona, United, Arsenal - beautiful kits. We need a beautiful kit."
1316: "Far more interesting than the Ronaldinho affair is what my sources have just told me - apparently Ronaldo is set to snub Man Utd's new offer in order to join Portsmouth. Pompey are a team on the up after all." pmpycj on 606
1310: Anyone know how long West Ham have been in 10th for? It's got to be some kind of record. They're at Bolton today where win, lose or draw, they'll stay... 10th.
1259: I'm a bit disappointed Dinho's off to Milan, but only because I was hoping he might bring his silky Brazilian skills to Vicarage Road. He would, of course, have had to improve his heading and adapt to the long-ball game as well as elbow Jobi McAnuff out of the team.
1255: "Yeah I have a sore head. And the thought of Ronaldinho coming to Milan has just made it worse. Great player but can he play centre half and keep goal? Those are the areas needing strengthening not midfield!" redandblackT1899 on 606
1251: If you do one thing today that is not football-related, can I recommend you sponsor someone who's running the London Marathon tomorrow? And if you don't know anyone who is, how about giving your support to shouty Match of the Day commentator Jonathan Pearce? Just put "jonathan pearce marathon" into your search engine and you'll find out why. Preachy bit over. Back to meaningless nonsense...
1236: Birmingham v Everton stands out among some fairly average-looking fixtures today. No word yet on whether James McFadden might be brought back to face his former club. The striker is only just back in training after knee surgery.
1230: Can football cure a sore head? We're about to find out...
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