Manchester Utd 1-0 Tottenham
Middlesbrough 2-2 Newcastle
GOALFLASHES AND MAJOR INCIDENTS (all times BST)
Player of the Day: As at half-time, Charles N'Zogbia is your pick of the bunch, but that Nani mark is on the rise. At the moment Robbie Keane remains the Old Trafford man of the match. But they are all some way short of the weekend's top performer. Birmingham's Cameron Jerome scored 8.78.
1759: That's the Premier League done for another week, but before next weekend there's some European action and transfer deadline day and more immediately all the reaction from Old Trafford. The BBC Sport website and BBC Radio 5live will keep you up to date on all fronts, both today and through the week.
1758: A couple of cracking goals today from Charles N'Zogbia and Nani so be sure to tune in to Match of the Day 2 on BBC Two at 2230 BST. Not to mention those penalty shouts.
"The first was stonewall. Berbatov was brought down in the box & didn't get the decision because he didn't stay there writhing like an upturned turtle." BabElVoroNino on 606
1757: BBC Radio 5live's 606 is just around the corner. Join Spoony and have your say by ringing 0500 909 693 or texting 85058. You can listen on the BBC Sport website or log on to the 606 website.
"It was a fantastic game. Spurs can count themselves unlucky. The points will get United up the league and I'm looking forward to seeing them when everyone's fit. Tottenham are in desperate trouble and we can expect more speculation on the manager this week."
Dean Saunders, BBC Radio 5live pundit
1755: FULL-TIME Manchester United 1-0 Tottenham
The champions go 10th after finally winning their first game of the season. Bolton replace them in the bottom three and Spurs are now 17th with three points from four games.
1754: Dimitar Berbatov almost finds Jermain Defoe but Nemanja Vidic blocks. A chance down the left but Gareth Bale's pull back is too deep and Owen Hargreaves clears.
1753: United are hoping to see out this match comfortably by holding on to the ball. If Spurs can't get it they can't score. Simple.
1752: Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes attempt to open up Tottenham at the back, but Pascal Chimbonda steps in to mop up the danger.
1751: Four more minutes.
1750: Into the final minute of normal time and Jermaine Jenas is clean through, only for the pass to bounce back off the midfielder's heel.
1749: Still with United until, after 18 passes, Owen Hargreaves hammers a shot on goal. That's where he wanted it to go. It ends up closer to the corner flag.
1748: The action resumes after that wee break and United are happy to pass it around and play keep ball.
1747: Patrice Evra catches Pascal Chimbonda under a high ball. A clash of heads and Tottenham's Frenchman needs attention.
1746: Tottenham probe for an opening.
1744: Dimitar Berbatov and Jermain Defoe aren't quite on the same wavelength. Have they got enough time to tune into each other before the final whistle?
1743: Tottenham attempt to thread some intricate passes through the heart of the United defence and it so nearly comes off. Didier Zokora replaces Ricardo Rocha.
1742: We are into the final 10 minutes. Jermaine Jenas pumps a free-kick into the United box and Nemanja Vidic clears. The next time the ball's near Vidic the Serb concedes a corner.
1740: Gareth Bale breezes past Chris Eagles as if he wasn't there. It has been an impressive debut for the Welshman, but there is no way past Rio Ferdinand.
1739: Dimitar Berbatov shaves the top of the right post with a delightful curling effort.
1738: Gareth Bale rolls the ball square to Adel Taarabt and his shot is blocked by Rio Ferdinand. Some of the visitors throw their arms up for a penalty but Ferdinand had no chance of getting out of the way of that.
1737: A free-kick for Tottenham on the left, but not before a United change. Darren Fletcher is on for Carlos Tevez. Sir Alex Ferguson is clearly happy with this lead and is thinking about closing up the shop with a little under 15 minutes to go.
1736: A double change for Tottenham. Young-Pyo Lee and Robbie Keane go off and Adel Taarabt and Jermain Defoe come on. Gareth Bale will drop back to left-back.
1734: Old Trafford screams for a penalty as Carlos Tevez goes down in the box. A firm but very fair challenge from Pascal Chimbonda.
1733: Tottenham are licking their wounds here and could get caught with a second unless they tune back into the game. They were playing so well before the goal and can still get something from this.
1730: Dimitar Berbatov is booked for arguing with the referee, clearly over that penalty shout. Nani's first goal celebration for his new club includes three somersaults. Hadn't Sir Alex Ferguson banned those?
1729: GOAL Manchester United 1-0 Tottenham
A fast and furious spell of football ends with a stunning goal. Nani picks it up in a central position and let's fly with a fierce shot which has Paul Robinson grasping at thin air. It took a slight deflection of Carlos Tevez which certainly didn't help Robinson, who got his fingertips to the ball.
1727: Another clearance off the line, this time by Tottenham. Chaos in the visiting box but Jermaine Jenas is in the right place at the right time to block Carlos Tevez's shot.
"Spurs were never going to get a pen. Wes Brown could have caught it and it would have got waved away."
Oh Campione! on 606
1726: If Tottenham thought they were hard done by in not getting a penalty the last time Dimitar Berbatov was in the box they are furious now. Wes Brown blocks his shot with a hint of arm after the Spurs striker had shrugged off Nemanja Vidic and skipped over Edwin van der Sar. Referee Howard Webb deems it more chest than arm.
1724: Clearance off the line by Rio Ferdinand. A poor pass from Nemanja Vidic gifts possession to Gareth Bale, who runs it straight back and releases Dimitar Berbatov on the edge of the area. The Bulgarian goes down in a tangle with Vidic but pokes the ball under Edwin van der Sar. Agonisingly slowly the ball is going towards the line but Ferdinand clears before Berbatov can give it an extra nudge.
1723: Nani makes sure everybody sees Tom Huddlestone's foul on him as he goes down theatrically.
1721: Pascal Chimbonda keeps his eye on the ball and not Nani's dancing feet before lunging in with a fine tackle in the box.
1720: Have Tottenham weathered a toothless storm? They are growing in authority. United must be getting edgy despite having 62% of the possession.
1718: Chris Eagles is on for Michael Carrick. That means United go 4-4-2 with Ryan Giggs taking on a more attacking role with Carlos Tevez and Eagles slotting in on the flank.
1717: An excellent chance for Tottenham. Gareth Bale swings in a free-kick from the left, Ricardo Rocha has a free header but thumps it wide. Bad miss.
1715: Michael Carrick plays Wes Brown into trouble with an under-hit pass. Gareth Bale pounces on the ball and is chopped down by Brown. Booking.
"Have Man U got the ugliest players in the Premier League? Tevez, Rooney, Neville, Dong... just a thought."
knollfarm on 606
1712: Nemanja Vidic heads Gareth Bale's cross from the left out of the box. Tom Huddlestone hits a shot high and wide... and not particularly handsome.
1710: Tottenham play their way out of danger at the back, but any chance of a break goes up in smoke as the ball gets caught up in Steed Malbranque's feet.
1708: Wes Brown is released down the right after a quick one-two with Michael Carrick. Corner to United.
1705: The action resumes.
"United are playing good football but not creating as many chances as I would like. This coming 45 minutes of football could be the difference between Premiership contenders or Champions League spot contenders."TheDynamicRedDevil on 606
1653: An early shout for BBC Radio 5live's 606 which starts shortly after the action ends. Spoony is this evening's host and you can give him a call on 0500 909 693 or text 85058. You can listen to that on the BBC Sport website as well as your wireless.
Player rater: Tottenham's Robbie Keane still leads the way despite seeing hardly any of the ball. Dimitar Berbatov is in second spot with Gareth Bale third. But that trio are trailing Charles N'Zogbia who is setting today's pace with a mark of 7.65 at the minute.
"Man U look very easy to play against minus Rooney and Ronaldo. The pattern of the play is more formulaic. With those two in it's unpredictable and harder to stop."
Ryan on 606
1649: HALF-TIME Manchester United 0-0 Tottenham
Still no home goal for United this season after 135 minutes of action.
1648: Fancy Dan stuff from Carlos Tevez on the edge of the area. United's pressure breaks down with that needless posturing.
1646: Shouts for a penalty as Patrice Evra goes down under a challenge from Pascal Chimbonda. Not a chance, but it is a corner. That man Chimbonda clears and that man Evra pounces on his header but his shot is poor. That's why he's not a striker.
1645: A Portuguese pile up as Nani is caught by Ricardo Rocha. The Manchester United man kicks his legs around while lying on the ground in a childish temper tantrum - the sort you normally see from a kid in the sweets and biscuits aisle at your local supermarket. Both men are fine after some treatment.
1644: Ryan Giggs catches Young-Pyo Lee and is booked. Harsh and the Welshman is furious with referee Howard Webb.
1643: Tottenham have the ball but on reaching halfway Pascal Chimbonda stops dead, turns and play is eventually worked back to Paul Robinson in goal.
1640: Careless play costs Spurs possession in midfield. Paul Scholes picks out Michael Carrick with a crisp pass and it is soon on to Nani. The Portuguese feints this way and that before shooting wide with his left foot.
1638: Ryan Giggs cuts in off the left flank but goes up a bit of a cul-de-sac.
1636: Tom Huddlestone shapes to shoot from a central position. A dummy buys him a yard as he cuts inside a red-shirted defender but when the shot finally comes it's not all that. Dragged low and well wide.
1632: It certainly doesn't look like the hosts are going for just a point. Three is the order of the day and to that end they are bossing the action, pushing Spurs further and further back when in possession. That possession figure's now up to 63%
"Will Man Utd play for a point? It'll be enough to get them out of the relegation zone."
goodriddancetraore on 606
Player rater: Robbie Keane is your man of the match at the moment, and only he and Nani are ranking above seven as we speak.
1628: Paul Scholes ghosts into the box to get on the end of a Ryan Giggs forward pass after another sweeping move, but his effort loops over the Spurs bar.
"Man United are throwing the kitchen sink at Tottenham. It's all out attack from United and is refreshing to see. The stadium is rocking."
Dean Saunders, BBC Radio 5live pundit
1626: Paul Robinson fists the subsequent corner well clear and Tottenham hold firm.
1625: Michael Carrick lets fly from distance. It whistles just wide of Paul Robinson's left post. Referee Howard Webb says it's a corner. Not sure Robinson got anything on that.
1624: It is all Manchester United at the moment.
1622: Rio Ferdinand's in action up the other end now. He launches himself at the ball in space on the left of the box but his former Leeds and present England colleague Paul Robinson is equal to the volley, beating the shot away.
1621: And right on cue here comes Dimitar Berbatov. He slaloms into the box after a mistake by Rio Ferdinand, but Nemanja Vidic slides in with a blocking challenge.
1620: Spurs may not have had the better of the possession, but when they do have the ball they are using it well.
1619: A short break in play as Nani receives treatment for a blow to the head. United have had 58% of the possession so far.
1617: Pascal Chimbonda gets his head on another Spurs deadball delivery. The ball falls loose in the area and Ricardo Rocha spanks his shot high over the bar as red shirts bear down on him.
1615: Pascal Chimbonda meets the ensuing corner with a glancing header. It slides past the post.
1614: A first chance for Gareth Bale to shine in a Spurs shirt. He races forward down the left and shows tremendous acceleration against Wes Brown to win a corner.
1612: Nani finishes off a sustained spell of passing football from United with a clipped cross right to left. Ryan Giggs makes contact but his effort bounces down and up into Paul Robinson's grateful grasp from an acute angle.
1610: Manchester United have completely taken the sting out of the Tottenham start and are playing some nice stuff.
1608: MATCH REACTION Middlesbrough 2-2 Newcastle
Boro boss Gareth Southgate is full of praise for Luke Young and Jonathan Woodgate who "put their bodies on the line" despite not being fully fit. Magpies assistant Nigel Pearson says their inability to hold on to a lead twice "is the most disappointing thing". Both men play down the injuries their teams suffered and suggest they are not that serious after all.
1605: Things settle down a touch after that fast start.
1602: Just 20 seconds gone and Robbie Keane almost adds his name to that select list. Dimitar Berbatov lays the ball off to him outside the box in a central area and the Irishman's clipped effort hits the crossbar.
1601: Before we get going time to clear up that quiz question. Les Ferdinand received quite a few shouts for his Spurs goal at Old Trafford at the end of the 1998/99 season. But there have been two more since then with Chris Armstrong and, most recently, Jermaine Jenas finding the net.
"Both teams need the win. I've been really looking forward to this game and both teams are filled with players who can score goals."
Dean Saunders, BBC Radio 5live pundit
1558: Spurs boss Martin Jol walks along the touchline to his seat. Up in the away end is a banner which reads "In Jol We Trust".
1557: The players are out in lovely afternoon sun in the north-west.
1556: Dean Saunders is on duty for BBC Radio 5live alongside Ian Brown and Alan Green. Tune in on 909 & 693 MW or if you're in the UK here on the BBC Sport website.
1554: Like Sir Alex Ferguson, the BBC Sport pundits Gavin Peacock and Dean Saunders think Manchester United will be fine before too long. They have had 52 shots on goal in their three matches and some will start going in soon, with or without Paul Robinson in the opposing goal.
1550: For those of you who have not had a glance at the table - and Sir Alex Ferguson - Manchester United are 19th and have scored the least amount of goals in the Premier League this season. Here it is. Print it out for posterity because United surely won't be down there all that much longer.
1548: Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson is nabbed for a pre-match interview. He is supremely relaxed in front of the microphone, which needless to say doesn't have a BBC insignia. He claims not to have looked at the league table but admits: "I know we're down at the bottom. That's exactly where we were when I joined this club 20 years ago, but we'll be OK."
1545: And Tottenham have scored just one goal in their last seven visits to the self-styled 'Theatre of Dreams'. Sounds more like a nightmare. A starter for 10. Who scored that goal?
1544: Way back when at the start of the day we mentioned that Tottenham hadn't won at Old Trafford since December 1989. Gary Lineker scored the only goal of the game in December 1991. What were you doing way back when that happened? Jive Bunny and The Mastermixers were number one with Let's Party. Fortunately Band Aid II pipped them to the Christmas number one that year.
1539: Gareth Bale, Tottenham's new number 16, looks fit and firing on all cylinders as he tunes up that left peg of his on Old Trafford's lush surface with some sweeping passes. Some nifty footwork as well from the teenager.
1534: That man Martin Jol receives some warm handshakes from United fans down by the dug-out as he watches his team warm-up. The Dutchman seems to be the only person who has emerged from a sorry mess at Spurs this week with any credit.
"We've driven up to Old Trafford from London in my mate's black cab that he picked up for £500. Bargain! Come on the Lilywhites! We need a win for Jol."
Gavin via text on 81111
"If Fergie has faith in the same XI players so should we the fans! I think it's better to give Saha & Anderson etc a full rest and get them back to 110% fit rather than have them playing at 70%."
Tevez_Di_Nani on 606
1530: TEAM NEWS Manchester United v Tottenham
United boss Sir Alex Ferguson names the same XI that started their derby defeat to City last week as he bids to lead the champions out of the bottom four. Under-pressure Spurs manager Martin Jol hands Gareth Bale his full debut on the left wing, with Dimitar Berbatov fit to return up front.
"If you take the lead twice away from home you should be able to shut up shop so Sam Allardyce will be devastated. But a draw's a fair result."
Steve Stone, BBC Radio 5live Sports Extra pundit
1529: FULL-TIME Middlesbrough 2-2 Newcastle
Fabio Rochemback's free-kick is well cleared by Newcastle, who have everyone behind the ball and that is indeed it.
1528: That should be just about that. One last chance for someone, but who will it be?
1526: Scrappy desperation from both teams before Tuncay brings down a long ball and attempts to squirm through two Newcastle defenders on the edge of the box. Cacapa has other ideas and impressively takes the ball off his toes before clearing.
1525: Fabio Rochemback slams a free-kick into the Newcastle wall. The ball barely gets off the ground.
1524: Alan Smith clips a pass into the Boro box but the ball bounces harmlessly through to Mark Schwarzer.
1523: There will be five minutes of added time.
1522: Mark Viduka races on to a long ball over the top from Cacapa, but is flagged offside. Sam Allardyce goes beserk at the decision.
1519: Jonathan Woodgate, Boro captain now George Boateng has gone, is holding firm at the back. The pace is picking up as both teams search for a winner with under five minutes on the clock. There will be plenty of injury time yet though.
1516: Lee Cattermole replaces Boro skipper George Boateng.
1515: A chance for Michael Owen as a floated Charles N'Zogbia free-kick sails into the box. Owen spins to latch on to the dropping ball as it comes over his shoulder, but is unable to make contact.
1513: GOAL Middlesbrough 2-2 Newcastle
Newcastle fail to get sufficient distance on a clearance and Julio Arca picks up the ball on the edge of the box before unleashing a volley through a crowded area and beyond the unsighted Steve Harper.
1511: Mark Viduka has a good record in T-T derby games. He scored four goals in his last three games for Boro against Newcastle, and he's now up and running after swapping red for black and white stripes.
1510: GOAL Middlesbrough 1-2 Newcastle
Geremi clips a pass into the box where Mark Viduka outmuscles Jonathan Woodgate. He brings the ball down on his thing, twists round his old team-mate and slams the volley home. That's silenced the home fans.
"How large is Viduka's "thing" that he can control a ball with it? Very impressive."
Tom, via text on 81111
Ahem, that's supposed to be a thigh. It was impressive.
1508: A second serious injury of the half and the stretcher bearers are in action again. Jeremie Aliadiere is carried off and Tuncay comes on.
1505: Jeremie Aliadiere comes off second best in a challenge with Steven Taylor and needs treatment. The break in play allows Michael Owen to come on for Obafemi Martins who disconsolately troops off down the tunnel. Will he keep walking all the way to Arsenal?
1503: Luke Young is booked for a challenge on James Milner. Over by the dug-outs Michael Owen is being talked through a sheet of tactics as he takes off his sweatshirt.
"Big Sam looks like Meatloaf. Think he'll treat the fans with a wee rendition of "Bat Out of Hell" at the final whistle?!
teraspud on 606
1501: Cacapa gets right underneath Geremi's free-kick and it spoons high into the air. Bit of a mess from the substitute. His name is pronounced Kay-Chappa for those into their phonetics, but why-oh-why does he only merit 4.75 on Player Rater?
"It's pronounced ka-ssapa you illiterate twerp."
The baron, via text on 81111
1458: George Boateng tackles the lively Charles N'Zogbia and releases Stewart Downing with a raking pass. The Boro flyer stalls when confronted by Cacapa.
"Owen to come on and get the winner before limping off with a hamstring!"
Urdogissick, via text on 81111
1454: Back to the action and a great cross from Charles N'Zogbia. Mark Viduka can't quite get on the end of it.
1453: This Cacapa chap, who arrived from Lyon but has never cracked it at international level with Brazil, became the 1000th player to represent Newcastle last week when he came on against Aston Villa. He is playing at centre-back and Steven Taylor switches to right-back.
1452: Peter Ramage is stretchered off and is to be replaced by goatee-sporting summer signing Cacapa, full name Claudio Roberto da Silva.
1451: Peter Ramage has taken some serious damage. The substitute's leg collapses underneath him after a challenge with Mido and his face is contorted in pain.
1450: Four of the last six meetings between these two have ended all square. A quick look at a betting site and that is the favourite for here as well.
1447: Middlesbrough have started the second half the better.
1446: Fabio Rochemback is released by a dinked Jeremie Aliadiere header on the left of the area, but the angle's getting more and more acute before Steve Harper smothers the effort.
1443: An ungainly challenge from Nicky Butt on Stewart Downing earns a yellow card.
1442: Another injury problem early in a half for Newcastle. Obafemi Martins needs a bit of treatment but seems kind of OK for the time being. That's a cue for Michael Owen to limber up.
1440: Magpies manager Sam Allardyce has dispensed with his jacket and has given up his seat in the stands alongside club owner Mike Ashley and is down on the touchline. Ashley is wearing a Newcastle top. Is that the action of a man who wants to sell up? Those are the whispers. Apparently he fancies Tottenham instead.
1439: Up and running again.
1438: We didn't have a football at the start of the first half, and now there's a delay as Mido needs some plaster over his ring.
1437: Newcastle amble out, the music stops and it is deathly quiet. Is that a church mouse running across the pitch?
1435: The players are back out... the Boro players at least. Sam Allardyce is giving his Newcastle charges a last little lecture.
Player rater: Jonathan Woodgate is the leading light on 7.20 from the two goalscorers, but he is still very much in the shade compared to Saturday's top performers who were all polling more than eight. A special mention for Stephen Carr. He's only got 4.36 to his name, but that's close to a point a minute. Surely an all-time record for a starter.
"Who cares about the Premier League? Bristol Rovers are unbeaten since April 1st in competitive matches!"
The Gas on 606
"This is the north east. Of course everyone is down the pub!
safcfan89 on 606
All gone a bit silent on the 606 front - nipped off to the pub for a pint and some quiet? So we're left to plumb the depths and this is our catch, which has absolutely nothing to do with the game. "I used to ridicule Lawrenson's 'tache back in the day. Now all I ever dream about is the day it makes its return. Pass it on will you."Laishers on 606
"It warmed up after a horrible start, but it's been a strange old half and ended as it started. Newcastle were passing the ball around and creating problems, but Boro have looked the better side for the last 20 minutes."
Steve Stone, BBC Radio 5live Sports Extra pundit
1421: HALF-TIME Middlesbrough 1-1 Newcastle
A scrappy end-to-end end to the 45.
1420: Boro's Fabio Rochemback has a shoot on sight policy. That one's well wide.
1419: England Under-21 colleagues David Wheater and James Milner wrestle for the ball. The bigger man, the Boro defender, comes out on top.
1417: Peter Ramage gets his knickers in a twist at the back and goes at the ball with his wrong foot. The ball is through to Stewart Downing, but maybe the Boro man was a bit shocked it got to him and his touch is poor. Ramage recovers.
1416: Newcastle make steady progress up the pitch. It's their best passage of sustained possession, but Peter Ramage's cross into the box is held high by Mark Schwarzer.
1413: Boro break down the left but it's Mido crossing for Stewart Downing. The other way round and they could have caused some trouble. As it is Steve Harper easily holds a poor cross on the half-volley.
1411: The Riverside always looks a poor ground because there are so many empty seats. That sea of red seats is only getting bigger as people head for a half-time pie eight minutes before the break.
1409: Feel free to change channel as it were and give the minute-by-minute coverage a go.
1406: Newcastle keeper Steve Harper's called on again as Newcastle fail to clear the corner. He dives low to his left to push away a Julio Arca effort. This is more like it.
1405: Steve Harper gets his fingertips to a fierce drive from Fabio Rochemback.
1404: Mido is booked for giving it large in front of the Newcastle supporters.
"Boro should make the most of Mido this season. If ever a player has second season issues it's him."
Chazza, via text on 81111
1403: GOAL Middlesbrough 1-1 Newcastle
The game might not have much, but it has goals. Mido collects a great through ball from Fabio Rochemback, rounds Steve Harper and pokes it home. He did his best to miss and it only trickled in at the post, but it is two in two for the former Tottenham man. A fee of £6m. Who's laughing now?
1359: Despite that fantastic goal the action hasn't really perked up at all.
1356: GOAL Middlesbrough 0-1 Newcastle
The dull action so far doesn't deserve a goal that good! Charles N'Zogbia cuts in off the left flank along the edge of the box before unleashing a lovely, curling shot that beats Mark Schwarzer all ends up. Top corner, never anywhere else.
1352: Maybe that's what's needed, a crunching tackle. George Boateng and Alan Smith are involved. There's a certain predictability about that.
1350: A first bit of something as Obafemi Martins breaks. It is an aimless run down the right before an equally aimless shot.
1349: BBC pundit Mark Lawrenson's got this down as a 2-1 win for Newcastle, which would be good enough to send them fifth. As for the later game between Manchester United and Tottenham, he's pencilled in 2-0 for that.
"Where were you Charlie? Nipped off to the pub for a pint and some quiet from the BBC office and us 606ers?"
everythingintransit on 606
1345: Very much being played in the middle third at the moment.
1343: Another fine rendition for Mark Viduka from the vociferous home fans.
1341: Medical knowledge's not a strength round these parts. Forget about that jarring nonsense, apparently Stephen Carr's done his hamstring.
"Medical knowledge isn't needed - Carr is always injured! Rammy needs some pitch time this season anyway."
Ross via text on 81111
1340: A short day at the office for Newcastle full-back Stephen Carr who is now limping off. Peter Ramage roars on.
1339: Big Sam's not quite so happy now. Stephen Carr's limping and there aren't even four minutes on the clock. He seemed to jar his leg when coming down from jumping for a header.
1336: And it's not just the football that proved a problem. "Where the hell is Charlie?" asked fatboyjohnmulhern on 606. A glitch this end left you stuck on a 'Groundhog Day' of your own at 1310 BST. Apologies for that. Hopefully we are all present and correct now.
1335: Ladies and gentlemen. We have a football and we now have a football match.
1334: We didn't have a captain in the tunnel, and now we don't have a football on the pitch. After all the music, flag waving, chants and boos, everyone's now hanging around. Magpies boss Sam Allardyce is roaring with laughter. Will he be quite so cheerful come the final whistle? We'll find out if we ever get a ball.
1332: Awesome boos for Mark Viduka before a rendition of "One greedy...". The third man out there facing a former club is Jonathan Woodgate who gets a great cheer on his return after knee surgery.
1331: The pre-match music goes on for ever. This must be how Bill Murray felt in 'Groundhog Day'.
"Watch out for Geremi in this fixture, facing his ex-club where he scored multiple goals and started his career in England."
1329: Come on slow coach. Here's George Boateng, all smiles and shock that everyone was waiting for him. The skipper shakes hands with Newcastle counterpart Geremi and they troop out.
1327: The players are in the tunnel, but where's George Boateng? The referee Mike Dean's ready to go and starts walking out before keeper Mark Schwarzer frantically urges him to come back saying "one more". Where is that one? Schwarzer doesn't know what's happened to the skipper and shrugs his shoulders when the question is posed.
1325: Pitchside water cannons give a last liquid sheen to the pitch. Everything's set to go as the scantily clad dancing girls of the host broadcaster lazily wave their flags.
1322: Over on 606 Torres' right peg is clearly recovering from a heavy Saturday night. "I'm going, or at least hoping for a Boro win. Newcastle to thrash Spurs." Anyone spot the deliberate error?
1320: Brilliant, the promotion on BBC Radio 5live Sports Extra, catchy music and all, has been replaced by actual coverage from the Riverside with Ali Bruce-Ball. He is joined by former England international Steve Stone.
1316: TEAM NEWS Middlesbrough v Newcastle
Boro bring in Luke Young for his debut and the defence is also boosted by the return of Jonathan Woodgate. Fabio Rochemback returns after suspension. The visitors stick with the same XI that drew to Aston Villa, but Shay Given is back on the bench.
1314: You can get involved and join the eager lunchtime beavers on 606, or text us on 81111.
1312: Middlesbrough have no "teeth up front" partly because Mark Viduka is now wearing black and white. Wonder what sort of reception the Australian will get today? He's out warming up at a slowly filling Riverside.
"Wins for both the Uniteds on the cards. Can't see Spurs being up for the challenge at Old Trafford. There was talk of a second season jitters for the likes of Reading but I think you might just find it applicable to Gareth Southgate. Boro have no teeth up front."
bsm1967 - first out of the blocks on 606
1310: As for the right here, right now, Boro aren't too clever against Newcastle either. OK, they won last year at home and picked up four points in total, but they have taken the spoils just three times out of 22 against their T-T rivals.
1308: Bearing in mind Manchester City, Portsmouth and Fulham all failed to snap terrible losing league runs at rivals yesterday it doesn't look all that good for Tottenham... and Martin Jol.
1307: In three hours Spurs will be setting out on what they hope will be a first win at Old Trafford since a certain Match of the Day presenter scored the winner in 1989.
1304: Well whatever it is, and no offence here to those who are bang up for this one, the T-T is going to be very much the warm-up act for what we hope will be a titanic tussle between 19th-placed Manchester United and Tottenham.
1302: Tyne-Tees or Tees-Tyne? The first sounds better, but the second is probably what it should be bearing in mind Boro are at home.
1300: Another day, another dollar and another game of football... well, two actually. First up is Middlesbrough v Newcastle, before the Premier League's two crisis clubs go head-to-head at Old Trafford where Manchester United host Tottenham at 1600 BST.