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By Sam Lyon
2155: We have our Champions League quarter-final teams, then, people - Manchester United, Arsenal, Barcelona, Bordeaux, Inter, CSKA Moscow, Lyon and Bayern Munich - and all that is left is to pair them together. The draw will take place on Friday at 1100 GMT and I want each and every one of you to help Sam Sheringham through his text commentary debut on that one. You've all been legends tonight. You are to text commentaries what Lionel Messi is to flair/hyperbole depending on which side of the fence you sit. Laters my good friends.
Kalika, Rickmansworth via text: "That's a wrong order Farslayer - it should be 1. Barca/United 2. Inter 3. Arsenal - obviously!!!"
2148: Once again, peeps, the draw for the Champions League quarter-finals is on Friday, and will be covered live on this very website. Business-end-tastic.
Farslayer on 606:
"Top three you don't want to draw in order: 1. Inter. 2. CSKA Moscow. 3. Barcelona."
2145: By the way, reports coming in that Olympiakos defender Olof Mellberg was sent off after the final whistle of Bordeaux's defeat of the Greek side. We're not sure why, to be honest. Will keep you posted.
2142: Football League Macca: "We thought it was done and dusted, but in the last minute of normal time James Dunne pounced to seal a 1-0 win for Exeter at home to Bristol Rovers. Heartache for the Pirates' hopes of squeezing into those play-off slots, but a shot in the arm for Exeter, who are a point away from safety with that win. It's finished Newcastle 3-0 Scunthorpe. The Magpies go four points clear, Scunny remain in the drop zone."
2140: Sensational performance from holders Barcelona, then, justifying their billing as one of the favourites to lift the Champions League trophy again - while Bordeaux, but for a 20 minute period in which they did their best to implode a touch, will be far from a gimme for any team drawn against them in the last eight. And what about the Football League action I hear you ask...?
Wazza v2 on 606:
"If I could choose I would prefer Man Utd to avoid Barca and Lyon. Still think we will get Arsenal though."
emmetmcevoy on Twitter:
"I'd honestly love Arsenal to draw Barca. Statement of intent if we win, and if not there's no shame in losing to the best."
2135: FULL-TIME Barcelona 4-0 Stuttgart (agg 5-1)
2134: FULL-TIME Bordeaux 2-1 Olympiakos (agg 3-1)
Barcelona goal: If it's not his very first touch, it's one of them - Bojan storms onto Zlatan Ibrahimovic's sublime through-ball to slot past keeper Jens Lehmann from the egde of the box first time, and finally the scoreline reflects Barcelona's near total domination in this match.
2131: GOALFLASH Barcelona 4-0 Stuttgart (agg 5-1) (Bojan)
Bordeaux goal: They say he's signed a pre-contract with Arsenal - well Gunners fans will be hoping he does this a lot more next season. Benoit Tremoulinas sends in a wicked cross to the back post and reported future Londoner Marouane Chamakh rises high to thump home a cracking header. That, after a nervy ol' period and then some, settles it for Bordeaux.
Ian via text: "Sam you missed a trick there with Diarra's sending off - surely it should have been "Alou, Goodbye"?"
barbour99 on Twitter:
"Messi might get three but you'll never guess who scored the fastest ever Champions League hat-trick: Grimsby's Mike Newell." If that's true, that's a cracking stat, nice one.
2124: Good save from Stuttgart keeper Jens Lehmann as he keeps the scoreline respectable, the German denying Barcelona midfielder Andres Iniesta's shot from eight yards out.
2122: Huge chance for Bordeaux striker Marouane Chamakh as he latches on to Kyriakos Papadopoulos's poor back pass for a clean run on goal, but his touch is woeful and Olympiakos keeper Antonis Nikopolidis gets out to smother well.
2119: All right, it's not quite handbags, but after being flagged - correctly - offside, Zlatan Ibrahimovic puts the ball in the Stuttgart net anyway, prompting a volley of, erm, colouful language from keeper Jens Lehmann. Ibrahimovic responds by blowing him a series of kisses which, believe it or not, was not quite as romantic as it sounds. I don't think.
2117: Reported Arsenal target Marouane Chamakh, who has faded a touch after a bright start, breaks well down the right hand side, but his cross for Wendel is just cut out by the Olympiakos keeper. The visitors bounce up the other end and Raul Bravo's shot is deflected just wide. This game is now wide open.
2115: And, yes, Alou Diarra is captain of Bordeaux. You knew that.
2114: If your page has gone a bit weird, by the way, give it a cheeky manual refresh for me would you? Cheers ears.
2113: Lionel Messi almost completes his hat-trick for Barca at the Nou Camp with a crisp header across goal but Jens Lehmann makes a superb save low to his left.
2112: What's that Football League Macca? "Newcastle are doing their best to keep up with Barca. They lead 3-0 at home to Scunny now and Andy Carroll has his second of the game. I haven't seen the goal but I suspect it was just as good as Messi's effort. Still 0-0 between Exeter and Bristol Rovers. I'm reliably informed that the game is still going on, but if you know any more feel free to let us know."
2111: Madness from Bordeaux captain Alou Diarra, his wreckless lunge earning him a second booking and it's 10 men apiece in France.
2110: RED CARD (Alou Diarra, Bordeaux)
Olympiakos goal: Well I tell you what, that's put a whole new complexion on proceedings in France. Konstantinos Mitroglou picks up a throw from the left, lines up a shot, and lashes an unstoppable effort into the top corner. The substitute had been on the pitch two minutes. Matt Derbyshire's evening gets a little worse - 10-man Olympiakos are faring better without him.
Barcelona goal: That, ladies and gentleman, is the tie, and only one man will be adorning the back pages of your newspapers tomorrow - Lionel Messi. Another sweeping Barcelona move ends with Dani Alves's flick finding the Argentine, who turns inside the defender and then guides it past Jens Lehmann with a neat finish. Might have done better with that, the former Arsenal keeper, but a doozy of a strike again from Messi - his 31st of the season.
2103: GOALFLASH Barcelona 3-0 Stuttgart (agg 4-1) (Messi)
2102: Early bath for Olympiakos striker Matt Derbyshire as he earns his second booking for a wild tackle on Jaroslav Plasil. Oops.
2101: RED CARD (Matt Derbyshire, Olympiakos)
2101: By way of balance I should point out that an away goal at Bordeaux or Barcelona would really set the cat among the pigeons. It's not looking a whole deal likely, but...
2058: Sublime football again from Barca, Lionel Messi tormenting the Stuttgart backline before laying it off to Yaya Toure who just pulls his shot wide from the edge of the area.
2056: Not the best of nights for Matt Derbyshire in France, either, as the frontman goes into the book for a dive.
2054: It's as you were at the Nou Camp, with Stuttgart still not showing a whole lot of potential to get back in this side. Barcelona have the ball on a string right now.
afootballreport on Twitter:
"Talking with a whole-hearted Madridista about the notion of Barça winning the CL Final in the Bernabeu. Can you imagine?"
2050: Lomana LuaLua has a go from range in the Bordeaux-Olympiakos match, but the striker balloons his shot way over the hosts' goal. Is it too harsh to say that might not surprise too many Newcastle fans out there?
2047: Per-huh-lenty for Olympiakos and Stuttgart to do in the second half, then, anyone predicting a staggering turn-around? No-one? What about you at the back? You with the weird hair. No? Nah, me either. Oh - we're back under way in both matches. Nice.
2042: Football League Macca - enter stage left: "It's half-time in the Fleague. Newcastle winning 2-0 against Scunny and still goalless between Exeter and Bristol Rovers. There were three bookings in 10 minutes towards the end of the first-half in the League One game. A draw is probably not much to help to promotion-hopefuls Rovers or the relegation-threatened Grecians."
Mr D. Luded, Gateshead via text: "Re: 2016 - Are you seriously trying to compare Barcelona to Newcastle? Messi, Henry, Iniesta, Puyol? Give me Lovenkrands, Carroll, Guthrie and One Size any day of the week! You put shame on the Mighty Toon..."
InfostradaLive on Twitter:
"Lionel Messi has now scored 20 goals in European competitions. He is the fourth Argentine player to reach this milestone."
redandblackT on 606:
"If Stuttgart do go out, as is looking likely, they'll only have themselves to blame for drawing the first leg despite playing Barca off the park."
2032: HALF-TIME Bordeaux 1-0 Olympiakos (agg 2-0)
2031: Heartbreak for Matt Derbyshire, the former Blackburn striker poking home from close range to apparently get Olympiakos back into it - but he is a couple of yards offside.
2030: HALF-TIME Barcelona 2-0 Stuttgart (agg 3-1)
2028: Bordeaux almost make it 2-0 on the night twice in quick succession. First Gourcuff latches on to Benoit Tremoulinas' infield ball but Nikopolidis reacts quickly to bravely make the save six yards out - and then Gourcuff smashes one against the Olympiakos bar with another terrific free-kick, this time from about 35 yards out. He is looking class, the Frenchman.
2027: Jens Lehmann - on his first appearance at the Nou Camp apparently (thanks ITV) - goes into the book for time-wasting. Someone might want to tell him Stuttgart are 3-1 down.
2025: Calls for a backpass at the Nou Camp as Matthieu Delpierre gets in front of Thierry Henry with the Frenchman bearing down on goal, but nothing is given - and replays show the referee is correctamundo.
2023: And with both the Champions League ties having a bit of a quiet spell, I'll put you out of your misery re: 2000: They are Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Roberto Carlos and Raul. Some of you got those right, some of you didn't. Well done one and all.
2020: By the way, the draw for the quarter-finals of the Champions League will be brought to you live on this very website on Friday. As things stand, the teams in the hat are Manchester United, Arsenal, Barcelona, Lyon, Bordeaux, Inter Milan, CSKA Moscow and Bayern Munich. I'm guessing CSKA are the plum draw there...
2016: Anything Barcelona can do, Newcastle can, erm , also do... here's Football League Macca: "Newcastle have double their lead and Peter Lovenkrands has scored for his fifth consecutive game. Could be a long night for Scunthorpe. The Magpies look like restoring a four-point cushion at the top of the Champ table."
2015: No further chances in the Bordeaux-Olympiakos yet, by the way, with the French champions stroking the ball around like a training exercise at the moment. Early shout from me - that tie is done and dusted.
2013: Yaya Toure is certainly enjoying himself tonight, dashing down the left hand side and failing to pick out the unmarked Thierry Henry in the Stuttgart box by a matter of inches.
2010: Misplaced pass alert! Andres Iniesta gives the ball away in midfield, gifting possession to Stuttgart. You see - they're not machines.
Elpenor on 606:
"2-0 not a disaster for Stuttgart, they still only need 2 to progress!"
Barcelona goal: Uh-oh - this is already looking like it could be a cricket score at the Nou Camp, because Barcelona are cutting Stuttgart to shreds at will. Lionel Messi and Yaya Toure combine this time, before the latter slides across goal for Pedro to tap into an open net. Simples.
2007: GOALFLASH Barcelona 2-0 Stuttgart (agg 3-1) (Pedro)
2006: I told you - here's Football League Macca: "There's been a goal at St James' Park (the northern one) and it's gone to the home side. Not surprising really as Newcastle are unbeaten on their patch this season and Scunny are, quite frankly, a tad poor on the road. Andy Carroll nods in his 13th of the season from Danny Guthrie's cross. Still 0-0 at the other St James' between Exeter and Bristol R."
2005: Bordeaux looking more comfortable than a pair of Christmas slippers at the moment, Olympiakos will have to up the tempo more than a notch if they are to score the two goals they need to at least make this tie interesting.
gunner-zp on 606:
"Too easy for Little Lionel, you just knew what was going to happen as soon as he got the ball."
2002: Good response from Stuttgart to Messi's goal, Christian Gross's side pressing forward for the first time in the match and Pavel Pogrebnyak starting to cause Carles Puyol and Gerard Pique the odd headache. Not a migraine just yet, but still.
2000: Football League Macca, he doesn't like to be left out: "No goals in the Football League to talk about as yet, but word from our friends from Infostrada that Thierry Henry - making his 110th appearance in the Champions League - has passed Maldini and Seedorf to move to fifth in the all-time list. Any idea who the first four are? No cheating. And no prizes either. It's just for fun."
Barcelona goal: Yep, over-rated. Lionel Messi storms at the Stuttgart defence, they back off, and he punishes them by lashing a stunning drive into the top corner from 20 yards out. Jens Lehmann in the Stuttgart goal had no chance.
1958: GOALFLASH Barcelona 1-0 Stuttgart (agg 2-1) (Messi)
1957: As expected, Barcelona dominating possession at the Nou Camp, with Thierry Henry, Lionel Messi and Pedro more fluid in attack than a student's Friday night diet. Over in France, Matt Derbyshire - outside bet(!) for England's World Cup squad - has yet to touch the ball.
1953: Lionel Messi - over-rated according to some (pul-lease girlfriend *snaps fingers either side of face*) has a pop at goal left-footed from 20 yards, but Jens Lehmann gets down to save easily.
Bordeaux goal: One of our Tweeters (Twitterers? Twits?) told you to keep an eye out for him earlier, and that's why. Yoann Gourcuff puts Bordeaux even more firmly in charge of their tie with a brilliant whipped free-kick from wide on the left into the far top corner.
1939: Well done to Robin in Edinburgh for spotting the, ahem, deliberate mistake - I of course meant eight straight wins for Barca against Bundesliga opposition at home. You knew that.
Robin, Edinburgh via text: "Barca won their last 8 games against Bundesliga opposition... Er... Except the last one?"
barbour99 on Twitter:
"Mellberg was a bearded legend for Villa. He bought and signed over 3,000 shirts for the fans at his last game."
matthew on 606:
"Xavi's absence for Barcelona could decide this match tonight."
1937: And the knowledge keeps pouring out of my inordinately massive brain... Bordeaux are big favourites to overcome Olympiakos tonight, and here's why. They are on a run of six Champions League wins, four clean sheets, and they have never lost in Uefa competition after winning the first leg away from home - that's 12 ties. Olympiakos, however, can look to the fact that Laurent Blanc's men have not won a domestic match since their first-leg win in Greece. All right, it's a straw-clutcher, but stranger things have happened... just look at Jedward.
1933: Right then, let me hit you with some knowledge. Barcelona, aiming for a quarter-final spot for the third straight season, face a Stuttgart outfit unbeaten on the road in this season's Champions League. The Spanish giants can comfort themselves with the knowledge they have have beaten Bundesliga opposition in their last eight meetings. Revenge will be at the forefront of the minds of Jens Lehmann and Aleksander Hleb, though, the pair having featured in
Arsenal's 2006 Champions League final defeat to Barca.
Lehmann, of course, saw red in that final.
iaincress on 606:
"Matt Derbyshire hat-trick and a late push for a World Cup squad place."
1929: TEAM NEWS Bordeaux v Olympiakos Bordeaux captain Alou Diarra returns to the starting line up after missing the first leg with a hamstring injury, and keep an eye out for defender Michael Ciani, who scored the only goal of the game in Greece and who has since made his international debut for Les Blues. Olympiakos include several former Premier League players in their starting XI, with former Blackburn striker Matt Derbyshire up front alongside Lomana Lua Lua who graced Colchester, Portsmouth and Newcastle. Swedish centre-back Olof Mellberg, formerly of Aston Villa, starts in defence and is joined by Raul Bravo, who played five games for Leeds.
Eddy, Belfast via text: "Let's be honest, we don't want to see Barcelona going out tonight. We still need some BIG European teams in the quarter-finals."
1924: TEAM NEWS Barcelona v Stuttgart Lionel Messi hopes to continue his great form for Barcelona after the Argentine scored a sensational hat-trick in the 3-0 win over Valencia on Sunday, while skipper Carles Puyol plays after recovering from a back injury, but Xavi is out with a calf injury. Cacau leads the Stuttgart attack after scoring their goal in the 1-1 first-leg encounter, while Christian Trasch starts in midfield.
Rafael and Fabio - Perfect Combination on 606:
"Puyol and Pique are one yellow away from suspension, I expect them both to get intentionally booked so that they miss the first leg and not potentially the second, if they make it through."
1921: Apart from Christian Gross, then, who will be hoping his side "verk" out a way to topple Barca tonight, plenty of Premier League connections on offer tonight - and one, in Marouane Chamakh, who if reports are to be believed is hoping to turn out for Arsenal next season. If any of you have read the papers in the past few months, the Bordeaux striker has been linked with every team and its dog of late, so will be interesting to see if he can turn it on ce soir, no?
sewey89 LUHG on 606:
"Barca, Bordeaux and Newcastle all to win with ease tonight. I don't expect any shocks what so ever!"
1910: As always I want your chat, and I want it big.
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or text in via 81111 (UK) or +44 7786200666 (worldwide). Please get in touch - if only to stop me asking what you're doing with your cash. I'm annoying even myself with that.
1907: And outside of European competition, Championship pace-setters Newcastle host relegation-threatened Scunthorpe, while League One promotion-chasers Bristol Rovers travel to strugglers Exeter. The form book suggests three home wins and one away triumph, but when was that ever reliable? Where's your wonga?
1906: Elsewhere in the last of the Champions League last-16 ties, Bordeaux host Olympiakos looking to defend
a 1-0 lead from the first leg.
The French champions, like Barcelona, are big favourites to progress from that one and take their winning streak in this competition this season to seven matches. Where's your moolah?
1904: Course, the odds on that actually happening are pretty long. Barcelona, having grabbed an away goal in the
first-leg 1-1 draw,
need only keep a clean sheet to win through and join the likes of
Manchester United,Arsenal,Inter Milan
in the quarter-finals - and in forward Lionel Messi, the Spaniards boast arguably the finest footballer on the planet at the moment. Where's your money?
1900: When Christian Gross arrived as the new manager of Tottenham in 1997, he
was widely ridiculed for brandishing a London Underground ticket,
claming: "I want this to become the ticket of my dreams." Now, 13 years later and as manager of VfB Stuttgart, those dreams might be about to come true. Victory at the Nou Camp tonight and his side will dump Spanish giants and holders Barcelona out of the Champions League. Ridicule that if you dare...
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