From Rich in Whitley Bay, via text on 81111: "Possibly the most one-sided game ever at Elland Road. I reckon Leeds have had at least 41 attempts on goal. Will they get that many against Man U's patched-up defence? I think not."
Kettering goalkeeper Lee Harper: "I'm absolutely gutted, I don't think the lads deserved that. You know, we were 12, 13 minutes away from penalties and their fitness probably told in the end."
2232: Full-time Leeds 5-1 Kettering
2231: So much for our Cupset. Jermaine Beckford forces another save from Lee Harper, who might have made an FA Cup record number of saves today.
Leeds goal: It's a procession, but that shouldn't count - the scorer was miles offside. The game's over, but there's no excuse for poor officiating. Tresor Kandol's mis-hit shot falls for Jermaine Beckford, and he slides in a fifth.
2229: GOAL Leeds 5-1 Kettering
Leeds goal: Brilliant finish to rub even more salt into the wound as Mike Grella cuts into the Kettering box from the Leeds left, does a couple of stepovers and curls into the top corner beyond Lee Harper.
2226: GOAL Leeds 4-1 Kettering
Manchester United's hat-trick hero Michael Owen: "Me getting three goals will probably grab the headlines, but it was a great team performance. I was playing deep with us having so many players out and we were trying to protect the back four."
2221: Lee Harper pulls off a brilliant one-handed save to deny Jermaine Beckford. The last five minutes make you wonder how this game has lasted until now.
Leeds goal: No need to rub it in, is there? Kettering get the message loud and clear as Robert Snodgrass stands a cross up from the left and Tresor Kandol nods in at the back stick.
2219: GOAL Leeds 3-1 Kettering
Leeds goal: Cupset fans, you can start the car. Leigh Bromby does really well down the right and bundles his way into the box, pulling it back for Mike Grella - who has only just come on. He takes one touch and rifles in from seven yards.
2218: GOAL Leeds 2-1 Kettering
2217: Robert Snodgrass fires over from seven yards as Leeds waste another chance, though he was slightly off balance.
From philmcnulty on Twitter:
"Carlos Ancelotti says one bonus: 'Kakuta is the only one good thing tonight. We must stay calm but he is the future of Chelsea.' Essien hamstring."
2215: A change each for Leeds and Kettering and we're under way at Elland Road.
2213: It's half-time in extra-time at Elland Road, moments after Robert Snodgrass drills a left-foot shot wide. Only 15 minutes remain: Leeds 1-1 Kettering.
2211: Apparently, this is only the second time in the history of the Champions League group stages when there has not been a single home win among the eight matches taking place. The other was on 22 October 2002 - coincidentally, when a certain Michael Owen scored his last CL hat-trick.
2208: Good question, Jack from Los Angeles, via text on +44 7786200666. The draw for the Champions League's last 16 will take place on Friday 18 December.
2205: Leeds have a monopoly on possession, but Kettering are defending deep and like lions. They know that if they can hold out to penalties, it's anyone's game. The prize is enormous.
2201: How have Leeds not won this Cup tie already? Robert Snodgrass turns neatly and curls a cracker from the edge of the Kettering box that smacks against the crossbar.
From philmcnulty on Twitter:
"Carlo not Culshaw. And Carlo's not happy. 'We played too slow, too soft. We lost intensity and concentration. The second half was not good.'"
From philmcnulty on Twitter:
"Jon Culshaw has walked into the press room at Stamford Bridge. Wonder if he will do Carlo Ancelotti's press conference for him?"
2156: Just to confirm we are definitely staying with the Leeds United 1-1 Kettering Town FA Cup second round replay until we get a winner. They've just started extra-time at Elland Road.
2153: It's full-time at Elland Road - Leeds United and Kettering Town will go to extra-time to decide who will face Manchester United at Old Trafford in January.
2151: Champo and FA Cup Macca: "We're still going at Elland Road, where it's 1-1 and heading for extra-time, but Tranmere, Accrington, Barrow and Luton are all in the third round. Congrats. Cardiff went third in the Championship by beating West Brom, while there were wins for Doncaster, Bristol City and Swansea. Blackpool lead Boro by three and Palace are 4-2 up at Reading."
Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson: "Our form is good so we are confident going into any match. Nemanja Vidic will return against Aston Villa on Saturday and Michael Carrick will partner him in defence. Patrice Evra will play left-back and Darren Fletcher right-back. It's a big game."
From Zippy, George and Bungle on 606:
"Gabriel Obertan was on the field for a total of 18 minutes and set up two goals. Can we now just give him the left-wing position with Luis Valencia on the right, please?"
2144: See 2127 - apparently Michael Owen has scored a Champions League hat-trick before, for Liverpool against Spartak Moscow in October 2002.
From Sheen, Essex, via text on 81111: "Stevo, imagine how much you could have won with my prediction of Man Utd to win, Owen to score first goal and to score a hat-trick? Well, I'm off to Coral to collect my winnings, hehe."
2139: CSKA Moscow have just scored in the last minute against Besiktas, they now lead 2-1. They will be in the last 16 of the Champions League, with Wolfsburg in the Europa League. Elsewhere, AC Milan and Real Madrid have both qualified, with Marseille having to settle for the old Uefa Cup.
2136: Champo and FA Cup Macca: "Oh hello, do we have a Cupset on the cards at Elland Road? Leeds have had chances galore but Kettering have an equaliser as Richie Partridge stands up a cross for the unmarked Anthony Elding to head in. That's former Leeds man Anthony Elding. I know, it's magic. Not so magic for Leicester as they are down to 10 men as well as three goals down at home to Bristol City, Martyn Waghorn being sent off. West Brom have had keeper Scott Carson off, while Billy Sharp has put Doncaster in front against South Yorks rivals Sheff Wed."
2135: Euro Cheesy: "Lassana Diarra plays the ball through for Cristiano Ronaldo, who collides with the keeper and the defender, but is the first to get to his feet and sweep the ball into the empty net to seal the win for Real Madrid against Marseille. Superb finish. Meanwhile, Hulk has made it 3-0 for Porto at Atletico Madrid."
2135: Full-time Chelsea 2-2 APOEL
2134: Full-time Wolfsburg 1-3 Manchester United
2133: Full-time Juventus 1-4 Bayern Munich
Bayern goal: That puts the gloss on a superb win for Bayern Munich, substitute Anatoliy Tymoschuk sending a rocket of a shot past Gianluigi Buffon from outside the area. Bayern through, Juventus into the Europa League.
2132: GOAL Juventus 1-4 Bayern Munich
Man Utd goal: Wolfsburg go close to that goal they need, but in a flash it's all over. United break quickly and Michael Owen suddenly is clean through - he cuts inside from the left and clips a gorgeous finish over the keeper. Fabulous finish, brilliant hat-trick. Is Fabio Capello watching?
2131: GOAL Wolfsburg 1-3 Manchester United
2130: Glimmer for Wolfsburg - Besiktas have levelled against CSKA Moscow, meaning the Germans only need one goal to progress now...
APOEL goal: Jon Mikel Obi gives the ball away to Nenad Mirosavljevic at Stamford Bridge and he makes no mistake, beating Ross Turnbull.
2128: GOAL Chelsea 2-2 APOEL
2127: Chelsea are denied again by an offside flag, this time after John Terry fires home. At Wolfsburg, Michael Owen wastes a presentable chance to score his first Champions League hat-trick.
Man Utd goal: Substitute Gabriel Obertan brilliantly dinks his way through three defenders and slots the ball across to Michael Owen to tap in his second. Great goal and that should be top spot in Group B for United assured.
Bayern goal: They deserve that, the Germans - and they are going through. From about their hundredth corner, from the right, it bounces through to Mario Gomez, and he makes no mistake from close-range. Stunning.
2123: GOAL Wolfsburg 1-2 Manchester United
2123: GOAL Juventus 1-3 Bayern Munich
From philmcnulty on Twitter:
"Fabio Borini gets his chance to impress in the last 20 minutes. One or two flashes of promise from Gael Kakuta but this is a low-key affair."
2120: Euro Cheesy's putting in a shift, too. I might just put my feet up: "If it's drama you want, Group C is your man. Or Group A. Anyway, Lucho Gonzalez wastes a golden chance to equalise for Marseille against Real Madrid, smacking the bar with his penalty after Iker Casillas's foul on Mamadou Niang. Poor old Niang has picked up what looks like a nasty shoulder injury, and that meant a long delay between the penalty being awarded and taken. Too long for Gonzalez apparently. Madrid still lead 2-1. Milan level at Zurich."
2118: Champo and FA Cup Macca's keyboard is on fire: "Barrow might be struggling in the Blue Square Prem but they are flying in the FA Cup. They have gone 3-0 up against non-league leaders Oxford, with former Stoke player Marc Goodfellow the scorer. Luton are also 3-0 up and heading for the third round (probably) and a tie away to Southampton."
2117: Chelsea are treating this like it's a training game now. Don't expect much else to happen.
2116: Edin Dzeko watches a long ball from the halfway line drop on to his left foot 15 yards out at an angle and the Bosnian forces a save from Tomasz Kuszczak.
2114: Double change for Manchester United, with Danny Welbeck and Nani taken off and Gabriel Obertan and Luis Valencia coming on. About 16 minutes remaining.
2112: Euro Cheesy: "For perhaps the first time this evening, there is a lull in the play at the Stadio Olimpico, and Juventus take the opportunity to make their first change as Amauri comes on for the ineffectual Diego. Shortly after, David Trezeguet blazes wastefully over from a decent position. In Group C, Raul Albiol has given Real Madrid the lead over Marseille with a crisp left-foot strike from a corner. And that means it's all looking much rosier for Milan, who will go through anyway if Marseille lose, but have also equalised against Zurich through Ronaldinho's penalty."
2111: Wolfsburg break quickly and Grafite's shot from just inside the left-hand edge of the United area is tipped away by Tomasz Kuszczak. At Chelsea, Joe Cole hits the bar with a cross.
2110: Update from Champo and FA Cup Macca: "It is tighter than tight at the top of that Championship table. As it stands, five points separate the teams in third (Cardiff) and 13th (Sheff Utd). Swansea could be jumping from eighth to fifth as they lead Plymouth 1-0 through super sub Lee Trundle's fifth of the season. In the Cup, Leeds have hit the woodwork again through Luciano Becchio."
From Thanks A lot BBC7 on 606:
"If Bayern win away to Juve, like Man Utd did in 1999, I fancy Bayern to win the whole thing. With Franck Ribery back, they are a strong team."
2106: Nani bravely throws himself in the way of a Sascha Riether shot from 25 yards and the Portuguese needs a bit of treatment before jogging slowly back on at Wolfsburg.
2104: Very quiet start to the second half at Chelsea, just a couple of shots from Frank Lampard going close. Carlo Ancelotti will just want no more injuries.
From Jordan, Glasgow, via text on 81111: "After a horrific five games watching Rangers this season, the Juventus v Bayern game has reminded me why I love the Champions League!"
2102: Man United are finding themselves under a bit more pressure now at Wolfsburg. The fans are up for it and the Germans need another goal to go through to the last 16.
2058: And more Champo and FA Cup Macca: "The half-time whistle has just gone at the Madejski but it's been a horrendous couple of minutes for home side Reading as they go in 3-1 behind after conceding two goals in injury time. Darren Ambrose and Victor Moses were the scorers for Palace. Tranmere have doubled their lead at Aldershot - a home tie with Wolves awaits the winner - and Barrow are 2-0 up against Oxford."
2057: Wolfsburg still need another goal to go through because CSKA are beating Besiktas. Euro Cheesy just told me that.
Wolfsburg goal: Probably the goal they deserve on the balance of play. Marcel Schaefer plays a lovely one-two to get into a crossing position down the left and his ball is bang on to the head of Edin Dzeko, who bullets his effort into the roof of the net.
2055: GOAL Wolfsburg 1-1 Manchester United
Bayern goal: As it stands, the Germans have pulled off the unthinkable. Mark van Bommel crosses from the right and after Gianluigi Buffon can only parry Daniel van Buyten's header, Ivica Olic slots into the empty net.
2051: GOAL Juventus 1-2 Bayern Munich
2050: Paul Scholes, once again, has been stunning for Manchester United this evening. The simplicity and accuracy of his passing is an object lesson for any midfielder.
BBC Radio 5 live's Pat Nevin: "Having looked anything but for 40 minutes, Nani now looks fabulously confident having set up that goal - even the stepovers are back."
2047: And they're under way at Juventus and at Chelsea too in the second half.
2045: They are back under way in Germany, where Man United lead Wolfsburg 1-0.
From Logos on 606:
"Why does Stevo think it's daylight robbery for United to be leading? It's been pretty even if you ask me... Just seen Ronaldo's goal, that's an amazingly good free-kick."
From Dogboy, via text on 81111: "We're so desperate for a goal here at Ipswich, the celebration music was played AFTER the referee disallowed the goal!"
2038: And now Champo and FA Cup Macca: "Wee Gordon Strachan will be even more furious than usual. Despite smashing QPR at the weekend for his first win, Boro's home troubles continue as Gary Taylor-Fletcher puts Blackpool 2-0 ahead. In the Cup, League One Tranmere lead League Two Aldershot through an Ian Thomas-Moore strike. Reading have levelled just before half-time. Neil Kilkenny has just gone close to a second for Leeds with a crisp low drive that rebounded off the post. Kettering's one chance so far fell to Anthony Elding but he rather scuffed his shot."
2036: Euro Cheesy half-time update: "Milos Krasic has put CSKA Moscow ahead at Besiktas - which is bad news for German champions Wolfsburg. To finish second in Group B, the Russian side need to post a better result than Wolfsburg. A cracking half at the Stadio Olimpico comes to an end. Bastian Schweinsteiger had about a million shots in 45 minutes. I'm not even exaggerating (well, a bit maybe)."
Man Utd goal: It's daylight robbery - but United won't care. Nani gets some space down the left and swings over a right-footed cross that Michael Owen nips in to head into the bottom corner from six yards.
2028: GOAL Wolfsburg 0-1 Manchester United
2028: Champo and FA Cup Macca is spoiling you now: "Having endured a bruising opening 20 minutes, Kettering are a goal down in their FA Cup replay at Leeds after Luciano Becchio headed home Robert Snodgrass' cross from the right. Leeds are on the way to a third-round tie at Old Trafford. Tasty. Barrow could earn a visit to Sunderland as they lead Oxford 1-0 through Phil Bolland. Blackpool could earn themselves three points after taking the lead at Middlesbrough in the Champ."
2026: Tomasz Kuszczak gets fingertips to a rising 20-yard drive from Makoto Hasebe as Wolfsburg try to open the scoring again in Germany.
2025: Chelsea are rampant now and Joe Cole is denied adding a third by a last-ditch Paulo Jorge challenge.
From gunnergetit on 606:
"Great, even German goalkeepers know how to score penalties. I wonder if Lampard and Defoe know how to save penalties?"
2022: Here's Euro Cheesy: "It's a thriller at the Stadio Olimpico where Mario Gomes has headed over from three yards for Bayern. Unbelievably, FC Zurich, who beat AC Milan at the San Siro, lead Leonardo's side again through Milan Gajic's 29th-minute strike. As it stands, Real Madrid and Milan would still qualify from that group - but if Marseille were to beat Madrid (it's 1-1), then the Italian giants would be eliminated. With Apoel Nicosia now trailing Chelsea, Atletico Madrid - despite trailing Porto 2-0 - would take the Europa League spot in that group."
From Daniel, London, via text on 81111: "Luton are non-league?! I've quite clearly been asleep for the past couple of years."
2018: More Champo and FA Cup Macca: "Luton have strengthened their hold on that Cupset with a second goal at home to Rotherham, Alan White getting on the scoresheet. In the Championship's big game at the Hawthorns Chris Burke has given Cardiff the lead against second-placed West Brom. Elsewhere, Bristol City are 2-0 ahead at Leicester and Palace lead at Reading."
2017: After a spluttering start for United on the German mud, Danny Welbeck slots the ball into the net after a sweet through-ball from Anderson - only one problem the flag goes up. Nice move that though. United's new back three hanging on, just.
Bayern goal: It's not often you see a goalkeeper score in the Champions League, but Hans-Joerg Butt has got his team right back into the mixer here. Ivica Olic is fouled by Martin Caceres in the box and Butt steps up to do the rest. No real celebration, though - he's got too far to run back.
2014: GOAL Juventus 1-1 Bayern Munich
2014: PENALTY TO BAYERN MUNICH
From Jack, United fan at uni in Sheffield, via text on 81111: "Stevo, please don't overdo it on the phrase 'makeshift defence'. We know we're depleted tonight. Thanks." Um, is once overdoing it? You've got to calm down, Jack
Chelsea goal: Lovely move and the Blues have turned it around in double quick time. Gael Kakuta slips Yuri Zhirkov into some space down the left and his ball to the penalty spot is clinically driven into the corner via the left foot of Didier Drogba. Brilliant stuff.
2010: GOAL Chelsea 2-1 APOEL
2009: More Euro Cheesy: "David Trezeguet's goal for Juve comes after Bayern had marginally the better of the opening period, Ivica Olic coming closest with his header against the post. Maccabi Haifa are pointless in that group, and they look like staying that way after Ferreira Jussie puts leaders Bordeaux ahead. Over in Group C, Marseille are now level with Real Madrid through Lucio's drilled finish, while Milan are still goalless against Zurich. And Atletico Madrid's troubles deepen as Falcao makes it 2-0 to Porto."
2008: Zvjezdan Misimovic misses another golden chance for Wolfsburg, the Bosnian heading a gilt-edged chance over. At Chelsea, Michael Essien has picked up an injury and limps off.
Chelsea goal: Florent Malouda slips the ball to Michael Essien and the Ghanian lets fly with a swerving shot from 25 yards that leaves Dionissis Chiotis with no chance.
2005: GOAL Chelsea 1-1 APOEL
Juve goal: First blood to the Italians as Claudio Marchisio clips over a cross and David Trezeguet meets it on the half-volley, slamming it into the Bayern net. Huge problems for the German giants now.
2003: GOAL Juventus 1-0 Bayern Munich
2003: Corner from the Wolfsburg right and United's makeshift defence goes missing, but somehow Andrea Barzagli heads over.
From HB_14 on Twitter:
"I don't know why but I have got a feeling Kettering will beat Leeds to earn their dream game at Old Trafford next round!"
2001: First from Champo and FA Cup Macca: "We have our first goal in the domestic action and our first potential cupset of the day as non-league Luton (is it me or does it still seems strange to say that?) are 1-0 ahead at home to League Two Rotherham. Adam Newton was the scorer".
2000: Carling Cup hero Darron Gibson lets fly for Manchester United from 25 yards, but his shot fizzes a few yards wide.
1958: Stand-in centre-back Michael Carrick brings down Makoto Hasebe in Germany, but referee Bjorn Kuipers waves away Wolfsburg's penalty shouts.
BBC Sport's Phil McNulty at Stamford Bridge: "Much celebration from the vociferous Apoel contingent inside Stamford Bridge - and Marcin Zewlakow's goal is the reward for an enterprising start. John Terry led Chelsea protests for offside. Nothing doing and a noisy night just got a bit noisier."
1956: Chelsea are denied an equaliser by an assistant referee's flag, after Joe Cole headed in Florent Malouda's left-wing centre.
1953: Euro Cheesy: "Troubled Atletico Madrid need to win to make sure they don't go out of Europe altogether, so the very last thing they needed was to concede a second-minute goal against Porto. But they have done. Bruno Alves puts the already-qualified Porto ahead at the Vicente Calderon. Apoel Nicosia now only need a draw against Chelsea to take the Europa League spot. Real Madrid have taken five minutes to go 1-0 up at Marseille, thanks to a 35-yard Cristiano Ronaldo free-kick."
APOEL goal: First blood for the visitors and it's a stunning start for the Cypriots. Constantinos Charalambides clips a ball over from the left and Chelsea's appeals for offside fall on deaf ears as Marcin Zewlakow slips past the onrushing Ross Turnbull.
1951: GOAL Chelsea 0-1 APOEL
1948: Dangerous cross from the Wolfsburg left just skims the top of Edin Dzeko's head, while a cross from the right moments later narrowly avoids Grafite.
1947: It's a back three United are going with in Germany - Darren Fletcher on the right, Michael Carrick in the middle, and Patrice Evra on the left. There's a sentence I never thought I'd write.
1945: Pretty much under way around Europe and in most of the domestic games too.
1942: Teams come out of tunnels as news breaks from Reuters agency that Belgium boss Dick Advocaat has taken over at Dutch champions AZ Alkmaar following the sacking of Ronald Koeman.
From prawnmonkey on 606:
"See 1850 - Real Madrid have not yet qualified. They can still go out if Milan win and Marseille beat Real by a hatful." That's true that is. Good work, prawnmonkey
1935: Gael Kakuta, who has had more than his fair share of headlines this season, becomes the youngest Chelsea player to ever represent the club in the Champions League. As for Man United, they are unbeaten in their last 14 Champs Lge away games.
From Chris in London, via text on 81111: "Let's hope Ross Turnbull doesn't have a lot to do tonight, he is useless and I'm sick of Chelsea goalkeeping calamities."
1919: I haven't even mentioned the nine Championship games and five FA Cup second round replays taking place tonight too. A fair bit going on, then, so let us be thankful that Euro Cheesy will bring us action from around the continent, while Champo and FA Cup Macca will hit us with the rest of the chat. PS There's a Final Score, too - and if you refresh, it'll magically appear.
From moltres89 on 606:
"Mr Stevenson, perhaps you should post an entry telling how Man United have already qualified as some people on here don't seem to realise that! The thing to remember in the Champions League is that head-to-head counts and not goal difference."
Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson: "Winning the group is our motivation - I've no idea of the shape of the side tonight! We're an attacking side and we'll have to go forward and look for goals. They have a great atmosphere here and that should help us, the players relish it."
1909: Sir Alex Ferguson makes five changes from the starting XI that saw off West Ham at the weekend. With 15 players missing for the trip to Wolfsburg, the Manchester United back four consists of Park Ji-sung, Michael Carrick, Darren Fletcher, and Patrice Evra, while Michael Owen gets a rare start up front alongside Danny Welbeck. Let's see how they'll cope with German Footballer of the Year and Ballon d'Or nominee Edin Dzeko.
1900: Stevo's Champions League Predos: Atletico Madrid 2-2 FC Porto Besiktas 1-1 CSKA Moscow Chelsea 2-0 APOEL Nicosia FC Zurich 1-2 AC Milan Juventus 1-1 Bayern Munich Maccabi Haifa 0-1 Bordeaux Marseille 2-1 Real Madrid Wolfsburg 2-1 Manchester United
BBC Sport's Phil McNulty at Stamford Bridge: "Gael Kakuta gets the chance to show what all the fuss is about as he starts for Chelsea against Apoel. John Terry has recovered from a knock on his knee at Manchester City and plays, while there is also a start for Joe Cole and keeper Ross Turnbull. So it's a night off for Frank Lampard and Nicolas Anelka, who are on the bench, while Petr Cech has a complete rest."
1845: Fast forward six months, and disaster strikes: England face a World Cup quarter-final against France, but Rio Ferdinand's back injury rules him out and John Terry and Matthew Upson are both suspended. Joleon Lescott will take one centre-back berth, but who will have the other? Step forward Michael Carrick...
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