Transfer deadline day as it happened

TRANSFER UPDATES - window closes at 1700 BST

606: DEBATE Your thoughts on the action

To get involved use 606 or text us your views & comments on 81111. (Not all contributions can be used)

By Jonathan Stevenson

1845: Somehow, today feels like the end of an era. Are sensational transfer deadline days a thing of the past? Or was this just a mere minor blip? I guess we won't find out until January. But thanks for your patience and input, it's been strong. Stay on the website for Richard Dunne/any other deals they haven't bothered telling us about, and see you soon. Transmission ends.

1841: Well done SimpreZola, below, you've ensured that the standard of chat has sunk to the standard of transfers today. Meanwhile, heavy rain in the north-west (not exactly breaking news, eh Nemanja?) has delayed the start of England's Twenty20 clash with Australia at Old Trafford.

From SimpreZola on 606: "Apparently signing players on a Tuesday does not bode well as the players usually turn out to be flops."

1833: This is how low-profile today has been: Bristol Rovers have signed Denmark Under-21 goalkeeper Mikkel Andersen from Reading until 1 January and midfielder Mark Wright from Brighton for an undisclosed fee. I love Bristol Rovers, but I want to cry.

PREMIER LEAGUE TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Aston Villa (J Collins), Birmingham (Tainio), Bolton (Klasnic), Burnley (Nugent), Everton (Heitinga), Fulham (Elm), Hull (Sonko), Portsmouth (Ben-Haim*, Williamson, Yebda), Stoke (D Collins), Tottenham (Kranjcar)
Out: Manchester City (Ben-Haim*), Portsmouth (Kranjcar, Nugent), Stoke (Sonko), Sunderland (D Collins, C Edwards, G Leadbitter, T Tainio), West Ham (J Collins)
SPL TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Aberdeen (Sorensen), Hamilton (Antoine-Curier), Kilmarnock (Brown), Motherwell (Moutaouakil), Rangers (Rothen)
Out: Celtic (Brown, O'Dea)
(* Subject to work permit)

From David Vernon, via text on 81111: "Nikola Zigic is set to be announced as Stoke's final signing for £8m."
Haha. I love you guys. I genuinely love you.

1821: To the texter telling me I can't leave until Forest have signed a centre-back: you are a very, very cruel human being.

1818: Some chat that Charlton have signed striker Leon McKenzie from Coventry, but we haven't been able to confirm that yet.

1814: Our colleagues at BBC Wales understand that Cardiff midfielder Riccy Scimeca turned down a loan move to Brentford. That boy has been around forever, I swear. Meanwhile, Sheffield United have confirmed they have allowed striker Billy Sharp to join Doncaster on loan for the rest of the season.

From James L, Leeds, via text on 81111: "See 1712 - as a Leeds fan scrolling down on my mobile, I initially just saw the words 'there's been a departure at Leeds' and 'Jermaine Beckford'. Thanks for the heart attack."

1805: We've got all bases covered. Still. Oxford sign Crawley forward Jamie Cook, eight years after they released him as a League One club.

PREMIER LEAGUE TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Aston Villa (J Collins), Birmingham (Tainio), Bolton (Klasnic), Burnley (Nugent), Everton (Heitinga), Fulham (Elm), Hull (Sonko), Portsmouth (Ben-Haim*, Williamson, Yebda), Stoke (D Collins), Tottenham (Kranjcar)
Out: Manchester City (Ben-Haim*), Portsmouth (Kranjcar, Nugent), Stoke (Sonko), Sunderland (D Collins, C Edwards, G Leadbitter, T Tainio), West Ham (J Collins)
SPL TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Aberdeen (Sorensen), Hamilton (Antoine-Curier), Kilmarnock (Brown), Motherwell (Moutaouakil), Rangers (Rothen)
Out: Celtic (Brown, O'Dea)
(* Subject to work permit)

1800: The transfer window closed an hour ago, but we're still waiting for confirmation that Republic of Ireland defender Richard Dunne has completed his £6m(ish) move to Aston Villa. And, ridiculously, we live in hope that from absolutely nowhere, a deal will crop up that can make the last 11 hours worthwhile. As if all your missives haven't done that already...

BBC Sport's roving reporter Sam Lyon: "So, as we told you first thing, Niko Kranjcar's move to Tottenham ranks up amongst the most high-profile deadline day deals done and dusted. As far as I know a deal for Osman Chavez did not go through, though, possibly because - if you believe the rumours - Harry Redknapp was attempting to negotiate a deal with every other centre-half in the country, including Anton Ferdinand, Matthew Upson and even Richard Dunne. Dunne, by the way, has had his move to Villa ratified by the FA but NOT by the Premier League as it stands, and both need to be forthcoming before a deal can be confirmed. Either way, Aston Villa, Birmingham, Burnley, Everton, Fulham, Hull, Portsmouth, Spurs and Stoke were today's movers and shakers, making this a warm bath of a deadline day rather than a red hot lava-spilling volcano. Still, it kept you all occupied at work didn't it?"

1755: Scottish update: Celtic keeper Mark Brown has moved on loan to Kilmarnock.

1753: DONE DEAL: Burnley, subject to Premier League clearance, have wrapped up the signing of Portsmouth striker David Nugent on a six-month loan deal. Well, he needs to be playing in a World Cup year...

1751: Derby County striker Rob Hulse turned down a deadline day switch to Middlesbrough. For £4m. I mean, £4m. Blimey. If I were a Derby fan, and let's face it, that's a pretty big 'if', I don't know whether I'd have to laugh or cry.

1747: DONE DEAL: Fulham have signed 26-year-old Swedish striker David Elm on a one-year deal for an undisclosed fee from Kalmar FF. "I am now looking forward to a new and exciting chapter in my career with Fulham," he said. Forgive us if we don't crash out the bunting...

From true_toffee on 606: "Not saying I wanted Lescott to go but £23m for him and only £6m for Heitinga who is an established Dutch international? I would take that every day of the week."

1740: Peter Storrie confirms that Burnley are awaiting confirmation that they have signed former England striker David Nugent from Portsmouth on loan with an option to buy.

1737: Portsmouth chief executive Peter Storrie confirms they didn't receive any deadline day bids for England's number one goalkeeper David James. Still doesn't sound right, does it?

1734: The one rumour that is persisting is the Steven Defour to Everton transfer. We're also awaiting confirmation of Richard Dunne's switch from Manchester City to Aston Villa for about £6m.

PREMIER LEAGUE TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Aston Villa (J Collins), Birmingham (Tainio), Bolton (Klasnic), Everton (Heitinga), Hull (Sonko), Portsmouth (Ben-Haim*, Williamson, Yebda), Stoke (D Collins), Tottenham (Kranjcar)
Out: Manchester City (Ben-Haim*), Portsmouth (Kranjcar), Stoke (Sonko), Sunderland (D Collins, C Edwards, G Leadbitter, T Tainio), West Ham (J Collins)
SPL TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Aberdeen (Sorensen), Hamilton (Antoine-Curier), Motherwell (Moutaouakil), Rangers (Rothen)
Out: Celtic (O'Dea)
(* Subject to work permit)

1727: DONE DEAL: Birmingham have left it late to swoop for Sunderland's Teemu Tainio, the versatile midfielder joining on a season-long loan deal.

1725: Reuters are absolutely on fire. Check this out: CSKA Sofia have shelved plans to build a squad made up entirely of home-based players after signing three overseas players, including Brazilian striker Michel Platini. That is not a joke.

From Glenn, Sydenham, via text on 81111: "I loved Champ Man 01/02, Taribo West on a free who always turned out to be the best defender in the game! I hope we don't get Martin Petrov, give Gio dos Santos a chance!"

1719: Championship leaders Newcastle also swooped late, re-signing former forward Peter Lovenkrands.

1717: There has also been an arrival at Leeds with the club snapping up South African striker Davide Somma - formerly of San Jose Earthquakes - on an initial one-year contract after impressing on an extended trail with the club.

From kanchelskis_legend on 606: "How did Harry manage that? Surely Rafa or Fergie could have comfortably stumped up at least four times that fee and filled a hole in their squad...?"

1712: There's been a departure from Leeds United… but it's not Jermaine Beckford. Alan Sheehan has joined United's League One rivals Oldham on a one-month loan deal.

1710: Reuters are on fire. This just in: Former Juventus boss Claudio Ranieri has agreed to be the new AS Roma coach and will sign a two-year deal, his lawyer has revealed. The Tinkerman is back - and remember, they are in the same Europa League group as Fulham.

1706: DONE DEAL: Tottenham have signed Croatian midfielder Niko Kranjcar from Portsmouth. "We are delighted to announce that we have reached agreement with Portsmouth for the transfer of Kranjcar, following the player successfully completing a medical examination and agreeing personal terms," said a Spurs statement.

PREMIER LEAGUE TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Aston Villa (J Collins), Bolton (Klasnic), Everton (Heitinga), Hull (Sonko), Portsmouth (Ben-Haim*, Williamson, Yebda), Stoke (D Collins)
Out: Manchester City (Ben-Haim*), Stoke (Sonko), Sunderland (D Collins, C Edwards, G Leadbitter), West Ham (J Collins)
SPL TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Aberdeen (Sorensen), Hamilton (Antoine-Curier), Motherwell (Moutaouakil), Rangers (Rothen)
Out: Celtic (O'Dea)
(* Subject to work permit)

1703: News just keeps on breaking: Goalkeeper Rhys Evans has signed a one-year contract with Bristol Rovers. The Gashead next to me seems just a shade underwhelmed. He obviously never played Champ Manager 2001/02...

1701: Of course, there's bound to be stuff going on we still don't know about. There's just bound to be. Or I can just get my coat and leave...

1700: GUYS AND GIRLS, THE TRANSFER WINDOW HAS CLOSED

PREMIER LEAGUE TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Aston Villa (J Collins), Bolton (Klasnic), Everton (Heitinga), Hull (Sonko), Portsmouth (Ben-Haim*, Williamson, Yebda), Stoke (D Collins)
Out: Manchester City (Ben-Haim*), Stoke (Sonko), Sunderland (D Collins, C Edwards, G Leadbitter), West Ham (J Collins)
SPL TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Aberdeen (Sorensen), Motherwell (Moutaouakil), Rangers (Rothen)
Out: Celtic (O'Dea)
(* Subject to work permit)

1655: Pompey boss Paul Hart on Mike Williamson: "He's a young, hungry centre-half, a big lad who's uncompromising and does the basics first. We've watched him play and he's shown great promise which hopefully he will build on under our guidance."

1653: Hamilton today completed the loan signing of Dundee striker Mickael Antoine-Curier, 26, until 1 January.

1652: DONE DEALS: Portsmouth have completed the signing of Watford centre-back Mike Williamson, 25, on a four-year deal. The fee is reported to be about £3m. What a busy man Paul Hart probably still is.

From Dave the rave, via text on 81111: "Everton delegation in Liege - Steven Defour fee agreed! My mate's mum works for Liege and told me about Fellaini last year."

1644: Good day to bury ridiculous news, Uefa? They announce with beautiful timing that they've banned Arsenal striker Eduardo for two games for diving.

PREMIER LEAGUE TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Aston Villa (J Collins), Bolton (Klasnic), Everton (Heitinga), Hull (Sonko), Portsmouth (Ben-Haim*, Yebda), Stoke (D Collins)
Out: Manchester City (Ben-Haim*), Stoke (Sonko), Sunderland (D Collins, C Edwards, G Leadbitter), West Ham (J Collins)
SPL TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Aberdeen (Sorensen), Motherwell (Moutaouakil), Rangers (Rothen)
Out: Celtic (O'Dea)
(* Subject to work permit)

1641: Spurs... goalkeeper David Button has returned to League Two side Crewe on loan until January. Does that mean David James is signing? Well, no. It probably means the exact opposite.

1640: League One Brighton have swooped to sign Welsh winger Arron Davies from Nottingham Forest on loan until 31 December.

1638: DONE DEAL Everton have completed the signing for £6m of Atletico Madrid's 25-year-old Dutch defender Johnny Heitinga on a five-year deal. See? Told you stuff would happen. More to follow.

BBC Sport's roving reporter Sam Lyon: "With less than half an hour to go until the window closes at 1700 BST, I'd love to be able to tell you that I know of an imminent, jaw-dropping signing that will shock you all to your very souls... but I don't. The flurry of transfers yesterday combined with the recession appears to have put paid to anything like that. Still, with Niko Krancjar, Richard Dunne and Mike Williamson yet to officially put pen to paper with Spurs, Villa and Portsmouth respectively, there's still time for deals to shatter the relative silence. I realise this information is about as enlightening as an aeronautics discussion with a Big Brother candidate, but hey, unlike a rogue banker I can't just make the transfers up can I?!"

PREMIER LEAGUE TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Aston Villa (J Collins), Bolton (Klasnic), Hull (Sonko), Portsmouth (Ben-Haim*, Yebda), Stoke (D Collins)
Out: Manchester City (Ben-Haim*), Stoke (Sonko), Sunderland (D Collins, C Edwards, G Leadbitter), West Ham (J Collins)
SPL TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Aberdeen (Sorensen), Motherwell (moutaouakil), Rangers (Rothen)
Out: Celtic (O'Dea)
(* Subject to work permit)

1633: Popular news service Reuters are suggesting that Martin Petrov will not be joining Spurs, even though he wanted to move, because Man City boss Mark Hughes is unwilling to let him leave.

1630: Half an hour until the transfer window closes. That's just 30 of your finest British minutes in which to sign players. And thus, it was make or break time for seasons up and down the land.

1629: Charlton have signed Rhyl winger Luke Holden on a three-month loan deal. Look, I'm sorry. I'm not doing this on purpose. If it's any consolation, I can't actually see anymore...

1628: Aberdeen today re-signed Faroese Under-19 striker Gilli Sorensen, 17, from TB Tvoroyrar.

1624: Drop into League One and John Barnes' Tranmere Rovers have completed the signing of 30-year-old defender Marlon Broomes until June 2010.

1622: DONE DEAL: Stoke defender Ibrahima Sonko has joined Premier League rivals Hull City on a season-long loan deal.

1618: Rumours abound that Johnny Heitinga is signing on the dotted line for Everton from Atletico Madrid. It's not been 100% confirmed yet, but we'll let you know if/when it goes through.

Dom on his BlackBerry, via text on 81111: "David Bentley has gone to Liverpool on a one-year loan, heard from an inside source..."

1613: DONE DEAL Bolton Wanderers have completed the signing of Croatian international striker Ivan Klasnic. The 29-year-old has agreed to move to the Reebok Stadium from Nantes on a season-long loan deal.

1611: Scottish latest: Celtic aim to complete a two-year deal for the China captain Zheng Zhi, who is a free agent after leaving Charlton at the end of last season. So, no rush to beat the 5pm deadline....

1609: Aston Villa's James Collins: "It's been a mad 24 hours since coming up here but I'm delighted to have it all sorted. I came yesterday and met the manager and had a look around. It's a fantastic setting. I just can't wait to get cracking now." Meanwhile, Polish goalkeeper Erwin Sak leaves Cardiff to join Wrexham on a free.

BBC Sport's roving reporter Sam Lyon: "So why is it so hard to get deals done, then? Leyton Orient chief executive Matt Porter has what I'm sure is a widely-shared theory, telling my colleague Chris Bevan: "The transfer window artificially inflates the value of players because people panic. Joleon Lescott going for £24m has an impact, even in the lower leagues where all of a sudden a player who was worth £1m is valued at £3m and a player who is worth £500,000 now costs £1.5m. Everything inflates artificially because of what happens at the top level and it means doing deals is hard work, sometimes impossible. That's before you look at player negotiation and wages. It's a long process." Who can we blame for a quiet deadline day then? Joleon Lescott. Booooo."

PREMIER LEAGUE TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Aston Villa (J Collins), Bolton (Klasnic), Portsmouth (Ben-Haim*, Yebda), Stoke (D Collins)
Out: Manchester City (Ben-Haim*), Sunderland (D Collins, C Edwards, G Leadbitter), West Ham (J Collins)
SPL TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Rangers (Rothen)
Out: Celtic (O'Dea)
(* Subject to work permit)

1600: HARD TO BELIEVE THAT SO LITTLE HAS HAPPENED AND YET THERE IS ONLY ONE HOUR TO GO UNTIL THE TRANSFER WINDOW SLAMS SHUT

1556: DONE DEAL: Aston Villa complete the signing of centre-back James Collins from West Ham on a four-year contract. No price on the official website, but we believe it is £5m.

1554: Deals we are still expecting to go through include Niko Kranjcar to Tottenham, Richard Dunne and James Collins to Villa, Mike Williamson to Portsmouth and Johnny Heitinga to Everton. There will be more, though. Oh God yeah.

1550: News from the old Division Two that Blackpool have completed the signing of Hameur Bouazza, who was a free agent after leaving Fulham in the summer. That is a Hameur blow for the Seasiders' Championship opponents...

From apologetic_burnhole on 606: "A £10m fee has been agreed between Spurs and Spartak Moscow for the sale of Roman Pavlyuchenko. Spurs have agreed personal terms with RVN from Real Madrid as replacement."

1543: News is coming out of the Football Association that Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez has been charged with improper conduct following comments made after their opening-weekend defeat to Tottenham.

1539: Championship Mole: Yorkshire sources suggest Sheffield United could be set to offload Brian Howard, just eight months after paying Barnsley £500,000 for the midfielder. The chat is that Howard was to be used as a makeweight in a bid to sign Reading's James Harper and even though Harper has turned down a move to Bramall Lane, Howard could still be heading for Berkshire. Harper may well be heading to Wolves instead, having been close to joining them last month."

1535: Bristol Rovers forward Lewis Haldane has joined Port Vale on loan, while Wrexham striker Obi Anoruo has joined Welsh Premier League side Newtown on loan. I know. It's killing me too.

From Jay, outside OT on his iphone, via text on 81111: "Brilliant, that Valencia news someone texted in - well David Silva has just pulled up in a car at Old Trafford, him and his agent seen getting out of the car! Just seen it, brilliant news!"

1527: If you like tennis, you might like to know that Andy Murray kicks off his US Open challenge at around 0130 BST tomorrow morning against Latvian Ernests Gulbis. Murray, by the way, is a Hibernian fan, and they have done precisely nothing today.

1524: This from our boys at BBC Radio Nottingham: "It's not Henrik Larsson or Benjani, but Notts County have signed winger Matt Ritchie on loan from Portsmouth. Don't be surprised if there's another player following before 5pm." Oh, we won't be, Nottingham, we won't be.

1520: DONE DEAL: Rangers have completed the signing of left-winger Jerome Rothen from Paris St Germain on a one-year loan deal.

BBC Sport's roving reporter Sam Lyon: "So, the transfer window closes in about the time it takes to boil 36 eggs and, I think it's fair to say, today's player movements have yet to really set the pulse racing. Worry ye not, though, folks - Tottenham, Portsmouth, Everton and Aston Villa are all expected to confirm signings before the 1700 BST deadline. Also comfort yourselves with the knowledge that those footballers not involved in transfers are doing pretty much what you're doing - watching the news roll in on here and on Sky. "Like the window or not, we'd all miss sitting in front of the TV and the computer watching the deals roll in on deadline day," Rory Delap told me. "The BBC Sport website is genuinely the only one footballers check," added Gavin Strachan. What do you mean you heard the clunk of that clumsy name-drop over your PCs?"

1516: Obviously Premier League chairman/managers are pretty satisfied with what they've got right now. Judging by what I saw at the weekend, I'm not sure a lot of them should be. Maybe the recession has had its say. Or maybe the drama is still to come.

1513: DONE DEAL: Haha, made you look. Burnley have completed the signing of 17-year-old striker Joe McKee from Scottish side Livingston.

From Susso_Speedster on 606: "My cousin works in Spain and has said there is big news to be announced about Valencia."

1505: Where is that big-money, high-profile, last-gasp, gone-unnoticed-thus-far deadline day deal we are crying out for? It must be out there somewhere. Don't stop believing - it could happen at your club. Even if you're down in League Two...

PREMIER LEAGUE TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Bolton (Klasnic), Portsmouth (Ben-Haim*, Yebda), Stoke (D Collins)
Out: Manchester City (Ben-Haim*), Sunderland (D Collins, C Edwards, G Leadbitter)
SPL TRANSFER TRACKER:
In:
Out: Celtic (O'Dea)
(* Subject to work permit)

1500: DEADLINE DAY COUNTDOWN: ONLY TWO HOURS TO GO, THAT'S WHY I'VE SUDDENLY STARTED SHOUTING

1455: Egyptian club Zamalek are refusing to let Amr Zaki move back to the Premier League. Portsmouth made a firm offer for the Egypt striker, while Stoke and Wolves expressed an interest in him this morning. His agent, Nader Shawky, told my colleague Simon Austin: "Amr is desperate to move back to England and Portsmouth particularly were desperate to sign him. The president of Zamalek won't let him go, though. The club hasn't won anything for four years and he wants to win the league title this season."

1451: Lots more chat revolving Aston Villa's out-of-favour hitman Marlon Harewood, who has also been seen in a hell of a lot of places already today. Think bottom-end Premier League and top-end Championship and most of them have been suggested.

1448: Done deals: Sunderland have confirmed Ipswich have signed Grant Leadbitter for up to £2.6m and fellow midfielder Carlos Edwards for up to £1.35m.

Pete, SUFC, via text on 81111: "Looks like Kevin Blackwell is taking a gamble - just seen Franny Jeffers going into Bramall Lane, surely not another Steel City switch?"

1441: Scottish latest: Motherwell have completed the loan signing of Charlton Athletic's former French U21 captain Yassin Moutaouakil, who is a right-back. BBC Scotland camera crews are scrambling to get to Murray Park for 1500 BST - will Rangers be unveiling French winger Jerome Rothen?

1438: One of my colleagues just spoke to free agent Dietmar Hamman, who left Man City in the summer: "Yes, Sven phoned me the other day to see if I wanted to sign for Notts County, but I said I wasn't interested at the moment as I feel I can still play at a higher level. There are a couple of things in Germany and I'll make my mind up by the end of the week. I have spoken to a couple of teams in England but that hasn't come to anything yet. Obviously I can still sign after the deadline so maybe if teams don't get the players they want today then I will hear something."

1435: Lots of stuff still to happen, he guessed wildly. I mean, perish the thought of doing a 12-hour live text and the Collins boys being the biggest movers of the day. That wouldn't be funny, would it? Keep those texts coming in to 81111 and keep getting stuck it to the thread on 606.

From blue_7 on 606: "My uncle who works at John Lennon Airport in Liverpool has just texted me saying he has seen David Trezeguet and his agent hurrying into a cab, probably on the way to Anfield.

1429: BBC Sport understands that West Ham will not be signing Marouane Chamakh. He has decided to stay at Bordeaux at least until the end of the Champions League group stages. There is still a chance he could move to Upton Park after that though. And the Hammers don't expect any more players to leave today, unless they receive a colossal offer. A few clubs have expressed interest in Matthew Upson, though none have made a firm offer for the England defender."

1425: Manchester United get involved in deadline day... Hang on, it's only Blue Square Premier side Altrincham completing the signing of Red Devils' reserve right-back Scott Moffatt on a month's loan.

1421: There are alleged sightings of West Ham striker Carlton Cole at Liverpool's training ground, while Arsenal are in talks with Patrick Vieira/Blaise Matuidi/Andriy Voronin/Gennaro Gattuso. Anyone seen any more Ballon d'Or winners in Nottingham recently?

From Lambros, via text on 81111: "I'm a security guard at Highbury House and I just saw Blaise Matuidi enter with an entourage. He's apparently just had a medical and heading upstairs to sign his contract. You heard it here first."

1414: Official on-the-record chat from Manchester City - and it involves Tottenham's David Bentley. They say, wait for it, they absolutely will not be signing the midfielder either on a permanent basis or a loan. Their business this transfer window, they say, is done and dusted. Apparently just over £200m on 13 new players is considered about enough to launch an assault on the Premier League's top-dogs.

1411: Down in the Blue Square Premier, Mansfield Town have signed 28-year-old striker Blair Sturrock on a deal until the end of the season.

BBC Sport's roving reporter Sam Lyon: "'Sam, what goes into a player's contract these days?' I hear, erm, none of you ask. Well, it's a veritable feast of clauses, including some or all of the following: salary, signing on fee, length of term, goal and appearance bonuses, promotion bonuses, demotion pay-cuts, a relocation package, image rights, a sell-on percentage, a deal extension option - and that's before you get into the world of shirt number guarantees, required community service and press/club interviews, translators, and a ban from 'dangerous' past-time activities such as skiing, motorcycling and horse riding. There are four copies of everything, signatures a-go-go, and they take up about 13 hours' worth of work to combine - so excuse me 'girlfriend' (*clicks fingers either side of face*) if I've missed out anything obvious. There's a reason I flunked my contract law option at university."

1406: BBC Sport understands that Bolton are on the verge of signing Nantes striker Ivan Klasnic on a season-long loan deal. The Trotters hope to announce the Croatian's arrival in the next few hours but they tell us it is a done deal. However, reports linking Fulham forward Diomansy Kamara with a move to the Reebok Stadium are wide of the mark. As things stand there is nothing in those rumours, but things could develop as the day progresses.

1402: He's still here. Apparently, he's here all day is Championship Mole: "Doncaster are interested in signing midfielder Simon 'best a man can get' Gillett from Southampton."

1400: Deadline day countdown: Three hours to go.

1355: Last week, my colleague Simon Austin wrote a story that West Ham were poised to sign the pesky Marouane Chamakh, but only if James Collins completed his £5m move to Aston Villa. Is it too late for the Hammers, now that Collins is almost a done deal?

1352: Great news for Newcastle fans, as caretaker boss Chris Hughton says he believes there will not be any more outgoings from St James' Park.

1349: Today is also the day Uefa is set to decide whether to suspend Arsenal striker Eduardo from the Gunners' first couple of Champions League group games for his alleged dive against Celtic. Oh, hello, enormous can of worms.

1344: According to Gianni Paladini, the QPR sporting director, the Hoops had a bid for Gary Hooper at Scunthorpe turned down by the struggling Championship side.

1342: I hope you're not getting worried at a lack of action. Remember: whatever doesn't happen now will happen later. Just make sure you're still here when the world of football goes mental. Because it will.

From Anon, via text on 81111: "I've just heard that Arsenal will make a bid for Fulham's Brede Hangeland, before offloading Phillippe Senderos to Hull to replace Michael Turner."

1337: We believe the fee for James Collins is about £5m. Tell you what, average central defenders are suddenly costing clubs an awful lot of money.

1333: Something actually happening snap: Aston Villa have confirmed they have agreed a fee with West Ham for central defender James Collins.

From youngy105 on 606: "Guy sat opposite me at work claims to have had a text from his pal who works at Man City and they are apparently lining up a last-ditch bid of £50m Cesc Fabregas."

1327: The news from League One is that Norwich City have terminated the contract of defender Dejan Stefanovic by mutual consent. Anyone out there fancy a 34-year-old former Serbia international?

BBC Sport's roving reporter Sam Lyon: "The life of a football agent isn't easy either during these windows apparently. Barry Silkman, who himself is working on a couple of last-minute transfers, told me: "The problem is that there are possibly 500 working agents around and all of them are trying to do deals that 95% of the time are impossible. It takes longer these days to do a deal than ever before and, on average, I'm up from 6am until 11pm every day during a transfer window trying to things done - and that's on a good day. I've got to earn about £25k a year just to cover my phone bill, I rarely spend consecutive days at home because of the travelling and, basically, you just work and work until you exhaust yourself. I wish someone could tell me who the transfer window benefits - because as far as I can tell it's nonsense for everyone.""

1321: Speculation that Jermaine Beckford has been spotted at 27 grounds in England today appear wide of the mark. We reckon he's unlikely to go anywhere today, unless one of the Premier League's early strugglers panics big time and decides to spend about £4m on a guy out of contract next summer. Unlikely.

From Pirate Pete, Claverham, via text on 81111: "Rumours at the Mem that Basso from Bristol City is coming in on a season-long loan to solve Rovers' keeping crisis. Rovers to pay a contribution to wages."

1316: Crystal Palace have completed the signing on a two-year contract of former Derby County defender Claude Davis, who played on loan at Selhurst Park last term.

1314: Meanwhile, we understand that Tottenham are still very keen on sealing a deal for Manchester City's Martin Petrov before the day is out. They want the Bulgarian as cover for Luka Modric. City are cooler on a deal for Spurs' David Bentley, although a loan deal is still possible.

1311: Dropping into the Football League, Leeds United central defender Tom Lees has joined Accrington Stanley on loan until 2 January. And it's a done deal in the Champ as Sheffield United have agreed to sign Derby defender Jordan Stewart, with Lee Hendrie moving the opposite way to the Rams.

1309: According to the Press Association, Birmingham manager Alex McLeish is looking to make a loan signing before the transfer window closes with Arsenal left-back Armand Traore back on his radar as well as Tottenham's Gareth Bale.

From TheWoolster on 606: "Hull are reported to have bid £14m for Middlesbrough pair Adam Johnson and David Wheater."

1304: Scrap that - Ben Watson's is not a season-long loan to Loftus Road - QPR are saying it is until 31 December, with an option to extend it in January.

PREMIER LEAGUE TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Portsmouth (Ben-Haim*, Yebda), Stoke (D Collins)
Out: Manchester City (Ben-Haim), Sunderland (D Collins)
SPL TRANSFER TRACKER:
In:
Out: Celtic (O'Dea)
(* Subject to work permit)

1300: Deadline day countdown: Four hours to go.

1257: Official confirmation that QPR have signed midfielder Ben Watson from Wigan on a season-long loan.

From Disco Stu, via text on 81111: "Couple of transfers at Old Trafford on the cards are Rodrigues Jadson of Shakhtar and Tom Huddlestone of Spurs. Jadson is due in for contract talks and Huddlestone's agent has been on the phone. Heard the conversation while catering."

1252: Totally un-transfer-related, but Real Madrid's Iker Casillas has slammed the balls used in major competitions like the Champions League. "I am sorry but it has got to the stage where it just can't be allowed to continue," said Casillas. "The flight is terrible... it is a complete disaster."

1248: More news from the Championship: Bristol City have agreed a deal to sign Costa Rica striker Alvaro Saborio from FC Sion on a season-long loan. Also, Wigan have had a fresh bid turned down for Swansea City's injured Dutch midfielder Ferrie Bodde.

From gunner-zp - Rosický will Return! Believe in Bendtner on 606: "Rumours in Hull that they will replace Michael Turner with Phillippe Senderos and then Arsene Wenger will sign Newcastle's Steven Taylor after he had scouts watching him."

1241: Does today have a big deal in it? Is there a Patrick Vieira-shaped leftfield signing to be made? Or will daylight Ribery be committed on Bayern Munich? There is so little time left, yet so much can still happen.

BBC Sport's roving reporter Sam Lyon: "Former Coventry, Hartlepool and Notts County midfielder and BBC columnist Gavin Strachan has been there, done it and got the t-shirt when it comes to transfers. He told me his take on players' thoughts during the transfer window: "Footballers are the most insecure breed going, so when their club makes a new signing and they roll out the ol' 'it's brilliant to have competition for places' party line, don't believe a word of it. When that happens, players worry. Does the manager rate me? Am I being moved on? Will I play? One thing players hate is uncertainty and I've seen hundreds of players get in a right state during transfer windows. It's a tremendously exciting times for a lot of supporters, but it can be hell for players.""

1235: DONE DEAL Busy Portsmouth boss Paul Hart has also snapped up Benfica midfielder Hassan Yebda on a season-long loan deal.

1231: DONE DEAL: Defender Tal Ben Haim has swapped Manchester City for Portsmouth, subject to him being given a work permit.

From Joe, via text on 81111: "Big rumour in Nottingham that Sven-Goran Eriksson has convinced Henrik Larsson to join Notts County!"

1226: My mate Pearlo reckons there are two hopes of Anton Ferdinand moving to Tottenham: Bob, and envel. I mean he's been wrong before, but...

1223: Done deal at Preston... but it's not David Nugent, so fans of sensational returns will have to wait. Youngsters Dominic Collins and Adam Barton have both been sent out on loan to Blue Square Prem side Crawley.

1221: Calm down, QPR fans - our source claims the Ben Watson deal is not yet done. But they are leading the race to sign the Wigan midfielder.

From Anon, via text on 81111: "Heard that Anderson is leaving Manchester United for Everton for around £7m."
Haha. I like it very much.

1216: Burnley are in the hunt for Hull City striker Daniel Cousin, apparently. Meanwhile, Sky Sources claim QPR have completed the loan signing of Wigan's Ben Watson.

1213: You can add retirement's Luis Figo and Pavel Nedved to the list of players linked with Notts County today. Imagine them parading their Ballon d'Ors around Meadow Lane? Come on Magpies, give us one stellar signing at least...

1210: There are some rumours abounding that Sunderland's Anton Ferdinand could be on his way to Tottenham. We're checking that one out. Meanwhile in the Champo, Evander Sno has indeed joined Bristol City from Ajax.

From TheSecretIron on 606: "Stevo, can you PLEASE post something on the live feed about the situation re: foreign transfers. The deadline for most European countries passed yesterday and so they can no longer bring players in. However, the deadline was extended for the UK due to the Bank Holiday. As a result, UK clubs are allowed to bring players IN from abroad, but no players from the UK will be going OUT to European clubs."

1204: Breaking news from the world of Serie A, as Roma coach Luciano Spalletti resigns only two matches into the Italian league season.

1202: More Press Association chat: Scottish champions Rangers are hoping to complete the signing of Paris St Germain winger Jerome Rothen.

1200: Deadline day countdown: Five hours to go.

1157: Haha, one of the finest players of all time was too 'wooden' for Spurs and Newcastle. Brilliant. Meanwhile, to follow up on that Gareth Bale chat, the Spurs man has been linked with Birmingham, QPR and Forest. I wonder if the Blues know he's never won a Premier League game?

BBC Sport's roving reporter Sam Lyon: "Everyone loves stories about 'the ones that got away', so here's a few of my favourite rumours to whet the appetite before you're left crying into your soup because Rivaldo's said no to a move to Spurs but has written them a nice letter. Jaap Stam was offered to - and turned down - by Millwall aged 24, Cristiano Ronaldo was in line to join an unnamed Premier League club for under £6m six months before he joined Manchester United for £12m but the manager refused to sanction more than a two-week trial, Lucas Neill was overlooked by half a dozen top-flight clubs before he was signed 'blind' by Millwall on an agent's recommendation and, lastly, Newcastle and Spurs both turned down the legend Zinedine Zidane for being 'wooden'. The lesson? Don't ever employ Mr Magoo as your chief scout. Jubbly."

1154: Is it just me, or is one done deal graphic for five hours work a touch on the disappointing side? Worry ye not, though - it just means there are more to come. Plenty more. Is everyone you know getting involved yet?

From Steve, via text on 81111: "Not a transfer but some managerial news. I live by the Barnsley training ground and I've just seen Alan Curbishley being shown round."

1146: Done deal from the Eredivisie as Martin Jol's Ajax complete the signing of Brazilian midfielder Kerlon - he of the famous/ridiculous 'seal dribble' - from Inter Milan on a season-long loan deal.

From Anon, via text on 81111: "I work in the medical centre used by Man Utd. We are expecting a Dutch player this afternoon by the name of Van der Vaart."

1139: Jermaine Beckford-watch: the Leeds frontman has now been linked with a deadline day move to Cardiff, Newcastle and Bolton Wanderers. Any advance on those boys?

1135: We're hearing reports that Wigan are going to let ginger-topped midfielder Ben Watson leave today, and there are plenty of clubs in the hunt for the former Palace man.

From Anderson's Magic Dreadlocks on 606: "Just been driving to work, taking my daily route going past Old Trafford. On going past I saw someone that looked like Andre-Pierre Gignac stood with David Gill and another man. Gignac was talking to Gill with what looked like a contract in his hand."

1128: The Press Association are reporting that Birmingham boss Alex McLeish has admitted defeat in his bid to sign Sporting Gijon midfielder Michel in a £2.5m deal before the window closes.

1125: Bayern Munich's Franck Ribery has moved to deny claims he already has a deal in place to join Real Madrid next summer. Meanwhile, we're hearing things about Tottenham's Gareth Bale...

BBC Sport's roving reporter Sam Lyon: "Unsurprisingly, getting hold of football agents on the last day of the transfer window can be trickier than a four-foot-square Rubix Cube, but luckily for you good people I have a direct line to the biggest and the best by way of a batphone. Now, I have more digging to do to firm up what I've just been told by my high-profile man-in-the-know, but here's a teaser, to be taken with a pinch of salt for now: a big-money transfer will happen in the north-west today, with Everton and Liverpool, as well as Man City, ready to splash the cash; Arsenal hope to do a late deal for a midfielder; and Portsmouth are in the process of negotiating 427 incoming signings, of which maybe three will come off. I may have exaggerated the last one, but you get the idea."

1115: Now I'm not being deliberately naughty, but I wonder if any Premier League managers saw Derby boss Nigel Clough's comments about Kris Commons after he was hauled off at half-time in the 3-2 defeat at Forest on Saturday? Clough said this: "He tried to nutmeg somebody in his own half, away from home, in the 44th minute when we were 2-0 down, and then having lost the ball, he just stood still and watched it. That's why we replaced him." Hmm. Worth a bid, perhaps?

1111: If cricket umpiring great David Shepherd could see this time, he'd be hopping mad... Anyway, one particular 606er reckons former Bristol Rovers and Nottingham Forest striker Junior Agogo is agogoing to join Southampton today.

From Anon, via text on 81111: "I work for Fulham FC. The loan signing of Carlos Vela from Arsenal until the end of the season will be announced shortly. Have to remain anonymous I'm afraid!"

1105: These clubs, making us wait. Classic deadline day fare, isn't it? That's why, fear not, we won't be curtailing this live text at 1700 BST, oh no. We'll go on for as long as we have to. And as long as you need us to.

PREMIER LEAGUE TRANSFER TRACKER:
In: Stoke (D Collins)
Out: Sunderland (D Collins)
SPL TRANSFER TRACKER:
In:
Out: Celtic (O'Dea)

1100: Deadline day countdown: Six hours to go.

From redandblackT1899™ on 606: "Is no-one going to buy Miguel Veluoso? He seems to have been a transfer deadline day staple of years now but he's still at Sporting. Pull your finger out Megson!"

1054: American midfielder Freddy Adu is moving from Benfica to smaller Portuguese rival Belenenses. Oh how the (predicted to be) mighty have fallen. Meanwhile, I've just heard a rumour that Liverpool's Andriy Voronin is moving to Arsenal. That's a corker.

1050: Latest from Champo Moley: Done deal: Reading have signed Celtic defender Darren O'Dea on loan until 1 January. A good day for the 22-year-old, as he has also signed a new three-year-deal at Parkhead. 'Will make a nice change from O'Dear', said the beleagured Reading fan I spoke to!"

1046: We've heard a rumour from Merseyside that Dutch defender Johnny Heitinga is on his way to Everton for more talks and possibly a medical if all that goes well.

1043: Sheffield United have confirmed the outgoing transfers of Leigh Bromby to Leeds and David Carney to Steve McClaren's FC Twente.

BBC Sport's roving reporter Sam Lyon: "Talking of footballers' approach to deadline day, former Derby and Wolves striker Dean Sturridge tells of his routine - which consisted of him pressing his suit and hanging it in the back of his car in readiness should he get a late call about a move and need to appear presentable. Do let us know if you spot a footballer with a three-piece dangling in the car window won't you? Only don't text and drive, now, it's illegal and could lead to you sending your latest transfer gossip to the mother-in-law by mistake. No-one wants that."

From kbees, via text on 81111: "My mate who sometimes reads broadsheet newspapers says he saw Mark Viduka outside Elland Road earlier. Possible return for the legendary Aussie?"

1037: Want to know about Wolves new signing Stefan Maierhofer? We got this from a Rapid Vienna fan: "He was a top scorer last year. So yes, he is a big loss. He is one of the strikers who always scores deciding goals, an active worker, not particularly skilful, but keeps annoying defenders. Apart from this, he is always good for a joke, loves being in the media and considers himself a star - sometimes too much. But good striker, no doubt. They will love him." So there.

1033: The Press Association are reporting that Egyptian club ENPPI have announced that they have turned down an offer from Sunderland for 21-year-old winger Ahmed Al-Muhammadi.

1030: I wonder what Matty Upson's doing today? West Ham are believed to have turned down a £9m bid from Fiorentina for the centre-back only yesterday. Those two clubs have already done some business, with Manuel da Costa joining the Hammers and Savio Nsereko going the other way.

1026: Reports are emerging from texters to 81111 that Franck Ribery has been spotted at various locations around old London town ahead of a last-gasp switch to Chelsea. Now, even though it's a deal I'd love to see go through, it's reason enough to crack open the flying pigs graphic.

From celaycock on 606: "DRAMA! Forget rumours about Nottingham Forest - former Preston North End striker David Nugent is back at Deepdale. He's just driven through the car park to his old space and quickly hopped out, with a big smile on his face. This is it, North End fans. This is it."

1019: DONE DEAL: Stoke sign Danny Collins from Sunderland for £2.75m. Wow, we even get a fee, too. Well done both clubs. By the way, you like the done deal graphic? I hope you're sick of it by tonight.

1017: Big club alert, big club alert: these words have just been printed in French newspaper L'Equipe, emanating from the mouth of Bayern Munich flier Franck Ribery: "It's the first time that I haven't really felt close to a coach. There's not much feeling between us at all," he said about boss Louis van Gaal. Anyone got a spare £57m?

BBC Sport's roving reporter Sam Lyon: "Ever wondered how Premier League footballers feel about the transfer window? I spoke to Stoke midfielder Rory Delap to find out: "It can be difficult, a time of upheaval, but also a time of great dressing-room banter. I've known players training with their phones tucked in their sock hoping for a call from their agent, and the stick those players get from their team-mates when it turns out they're asking to double their money or receive a whopping sign-on fee from the buying club! When I joined Sunderland on transfer deadline day in 2006, I got the call at about 9am, had a quick chat with the wife, banged it up the motorway, and signed that afternoon. It can happen that quickly."

BBC Radio 5 live's Mike Sewell: "Kranjcar is almost certainly heading for Tottenham. He's only got one year left on his contract and Harry will get him very cheap."

1009: Scottish latest: Celtic defender Darren O'Dea is to secure a short-term loan move to Reading as soon as he signs a new three-year contract with the Glasgow club.

1007: Magnificent. My favourite rumour of the day by a mile: Arsenal are linked in some quarters with a move for AC Milan's fearsome midfield general Gennaro Gattuso. Does the fact that his wife's Scottish make the move more likely?

1003: Bringing you news of a done deal from the Championship, Swansea City have signed Trinidad and Tobago defender Radanfah Abu Bakr on a three-month loan deal from Caledonia AIA Fire.

1000: Deadline day countdown: Seven hours to go (cue world-ending music).

0956: Wonderful story from Croatia, as their Football Federation president Vlatko Markovic has suggested there is a conspiracy against his country after Luka Modric was injured on Saturday and will miss their forthcoming World Cup qualifier against England next Wednesday. Rightly, Birmingham chairman David Gold has given his claims the shortest of shrift.

From G in Wolves, via text on 81111: "Joe Ledley to Wolves for £5.5m (plus Sam Vokes on loan for the season & Darren Ward). Neill Collins to Leeds - £500,000. I'm at the training ground. Ta."

0947: News is beginning to break, this from BBC Tees: "According to our Boro mole, the Teessiders are interested in Preston centre-half Sean St. Ledger. Will keep you posted."

0945: Don't be fooled into thinking it'll be quiet today, it's always quiet at the start of deadline day. If you want a reminder of how mental these days can get, why not check out what happened before the transfer window slammed shut last August? One of the great days.

BBC Sport's roving reporter Sam Lyon: "It doesn't take a genius to work out that Tottenham's training ground could be busier than a one-legged Riverdancer today, but I can confirm Niko Kranjcar is on his way there to sign from Portsmouth for what I believe is the paltry sum of around £2m - bargainous. Among the other rumours, it is also worth remembering Honduran international defender Osman Chavez is still at the club having arrived on trial last week. A deal has been agreed with his club Platense, it's down to whether Harry Redknapp rates him, so watch that space."

0938: Bolo Zenden has been linked with Blackburn, Bolton, Hull and Portsmouth. Lucky him. He doesn't have to decide yet, though - the Dutchman is a free agent, so there's no deadline for him to sign on the dotted line.

0935: Magical news: Championship Mole is back. As if he'd miss a day like today: "Fulham's Chris Baird could be on the move to the Championship, with West Bromwich Albion, Nottingham Forest and Sheffield United all looking at a deadline-day move for the Northern Ireland international. Newly-promoted Wolves are showing an interest too, though."

From my cousin Andy, via text on 81111: "Had your number but lost it. See you're on transfer watch. Normally the last thing a Forest fan would want to do but at least you'll see Bale, Dawson, Sonko, Nugent and Wilshire sign. Rumours eh? Have fun."

0929: We could have a brace of Collins on the move today, with Stoke linked with Sunderland's Danny and Aston Villa lining up a move for West Ham's James. No-one in for Joan, as yet.

0925: Although deadline day passed in Spain at midnight, I believe they are allowed to sell players to Premier League clubs today, so Everton should be able to get Atletico Madrid defender Johnny Heitinga and Valencia midfielder Ever Banega, should they so wish.

0921: Sources close to, er, deadline day claim that Ajax's Evander Sno is on the cusp of joining Championship side Bristol City on loan for the rest of the season. Meanwhile, we're hearing that Man City's Tal Ben Haim's move to Portsmouth is not yet a done deal.

0917: Don't forget, this day depends as much on you as it does on the money men of English football. Your involvement is crucial, so get those texts in to 81111 and join the debate on 606.

From j_psycho_kay (safc 78) on 606: "Lucas Neill, the footballing equivalent of a gun for hire, will join Sunderland today to fill their problem right-back position."

0910: Brilliantly, two of the clubs potentially most heavily involved in today might actually be doing a deal between themselves, as Notts County line up a loan swoop for Portsmouth's highly-rated winger Matt Richie.

0907: I've just been joined on deadline day desk by a Tottenham fan and a Bristol Rovers fan. Fair to say we know who is more excited about today.

From Kyle Servera, Falkirk, via text on 81111: "The big transfer news in Scotland today is that PSG winger and French international Jerome Rothen is apparently heading to Rangers on a season-long loan deal after his move to Schalke fell through. Here's hoping..."

0900: Deadline day countdown: Eight hours to go. Oh, and the 606 messageboards are open for business, so step right this way.

0855: Great news: Tuesday's gossip column is the first done deal of the day, so for all of today's rumours, fill your boots. Any breaking transfer chat will, of course, appear right here.

0851: Sky sources are claiming Aston Villa left-back Nicky Shorey is on his way to Fratton Park for a medical with Portsmouth after they agreed a fee for his services. Makes sense after Villa signed Stephen Warnock last week. Has a squad ever changed so much inside a week as Pompey's?

0848: Middlesbrough have been linked with a few forwards recently, most amusingly perhaps with a £4.5m bid for Forest's Robbie Earnshaw last week. But now they are being linked with a striker at the other end of Brian Clough Way in the shape of Derby's Rob Hulse, reportedly tabling a £3.5m bid. Boro are expected to sell the misfiring Brazilian Afonso Alves to Qatari side Al-Sadd for about £7m today.

From Ben, wishing he'd rang in sick, via text on 81111: "After the last transfer window's events, will there be a special transfer deadline page for Arsenal tomorrow?!"

0841: One you may have missed: Real Mallorca signed Borja Valero on loan last night - the Balearic Island side sold him to the Baggies for £4.7m a year ago.

0839: Is it just me, or is the gap between the Big Four and the rest of the Premier League closing all the time? I mean obviously Man City/Tottenham/Villa/Everton etc have aspirations to get into that top four, but with clubs like Sunderland and Stoke really strengthening over the summer, is the top flight changing shape before our very eyes?

0835: A deal which is 99.9% certain to go through today is that of Manchester City defender Richard Dunne to Aston Villa for a fee of about £5m. Keeping watching this space.

0831: Thick and fast now. Portuguese giants Benfica have announced that Portsmouth (bless em) have swooped to sign 25-year-old midfielder Hassan Yebda on a season-long loan. Nope, I've never seen him play either.

From Simon, via text on 81111: "I work for Clarks and have just been requested to send some size 10 shoes to our shop in Liverpool. As I'm sure you know, David Villa is a size 10 so I believe he will sign for Liverpool today.

0824: Got some transfer chat for you (only 84 minutes in, too): Derby winger Jordan Stewart will be joining Sheffield United, with midfielder Lee Hendrie moving in the opposite direction, report BBC Radio Sheffield.

0821: Now I know this goes against the spirit of transfer deadline day, but there's one guy I hope doesn't get a move today, and his name is Marouane Chamakh. I swear the Moroccan striker, who plays for Bordeaux, has been involved in the last 763 gossip columns, and oh look, there is he again today, linked with West Ham. Tiresome.

0816: There's a distinct lack of 'Big Four' gossip in the newspapers, which is a little surprising given that Manchester United looked desperately short of creativity on Saturday, while Liverpool's current squad is unlikely to win the league. Could Patrick Vieira's return to Arsenal be the move of the day? Could Chelsea splash £57m on Franck Ribery?

0812: Portsmouth have signed Tommy Smith, Michael Brown, Kevin-Prince Boateng, Aruna Dindane, Jamie O'Hara and Tal Ben Haim in the last week. Today, they are being linked with Man City striker Benjani, ex-Marseille winger Boudewijn Zenden, ex-Wigan hitman Amr Zaki and Sunderland's Nyron Nosworthy. While Niko Kranjcar and David James could be heading out of the revolving door at Fratton Park.

0807: Rumours are coming out of Wales that Cardiff's inspirational midfielder Joe Ledley is being chased by Wolves. Ledley's a veteran of deadline day speculation, wasn't it Stoke last time?

From CC, via text on 81111: "It's like Notts County have activated the cheat code on Football Manager, giving them loads of cash for Prem players. When I say cash, I of course mean the challenge of taking part in such an exciting project."

0800: Deadline day countdown: Nine hours to go.

0754: Seems to me that Sunderland boss Steve Bruce is putting together a tidy little squad at the Stadium of Light, especially after the big-money signing of Hull defender Michael Turner yesterday, for a deal that could apparently rise to £12m. Not a bad sum, as Hull only paid £350,000 for Turner in 2006. Not gonna keep them up though, is it?

0751: If I had a pound for every Lionel Messi sighting so far today...

0748: The deadline slammed shut in Spain's La Liga last night, by the way, with Ukraine defender Dmytro Chygrynskiy sealing his £22m move to Barcelona and the Catalan club selling Eidur Gudjohnsen to Monaco for about £1.8m. Real Madrid did not buy Franck Ribery from Bayern Munich, if any Chelsea/Manchester United fans are interested.

0744: There may, of course, be an hilarious leftfield option for Club of the Day today, and I'm not talking about Spurs, Man City, or even Newcastle. No, there is an outfit that has been linked with no lesser names than Benjani, Kanu, Freddie Ljungberg and Christian Vieri, once the world's most expensive footballer. Step forward Sven-Goran Eriksson's Notts County.

From Jim, via text on 81111: "If Paul Hart's reading here's my advice for today: sign Benjani before breakfast, then unhook the phones and lock Kranjcar and James in a cupboard until 1701. Job done!"

0735: Oh no, it's started already. "Which centre-back are Forest gonna buy today, Stevo?" asks John from London. If deadline days of yore are anything to go by Johnny, I'm betting they won't.

0732: Reckon there'll be any crazy deadline day deals today? How about Arsenal making a cheeky £12m bid for Manchester United's, er, combative midfielder Darren Fletcher? More unlikely than Robinho to Man City this time last year?!

0728: ...who, despite lying a lofty second in the league, have been linked with all sorts of players once again. They really are a deadline day dream. Coming in, allegedly, are David James, Niko Kranjcar and Martin Petrov, and going out is David Bentley. If the rumours are right and Man City are offering them £10m+Petrov for Bentley, that is a magnificent piece of business down at The Lane.

0723: Slightly disappointed with how much business was going on yesterday, if I'm honest. Michael Turner to Sunderland, Diego Arismendi to Stoke, Tal Ben Haim to Portsmouth, Manuel da Costa to West Ham, Stefan Maierhofer and Segundo Castillo to Wolves... Don't they know it's deadline day today? Thank heavens for Tottenham...

From Anon, via text on 81111: "My nan just texted me to say she is serving James Collins a full English at the B&B she runs in Aston."

0715: So, an early plea. The 606 boards don't open until 0900, so you'll have to whack texts over until then. The magic number is 81111, and I'd be disappointed if it wasn't anything other than red-hot all day long. I don't care whether you're at Heathrow or not, get yourself in the deadline day mixer.

0710: If you've just rolled out of bed, you're feeling a little tender and you need your appetite to be whet, look no further than Tuesday's gossip column, bringing you all the could-bes, would-bes and should-bes. It's expanding as I type these very words, too.

0706: For the next 12 hours or so, we're going to bring you every spit and cough of transfer activity on deadline day. It is absolutely imperative that, in order to keep us sane, you get yourselves involved in this, the most glorious of all days to be a football fan.

0700: Happy transfer deadline day. I don't really need to say any more than that, do I?