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By Caroline Cheese
1659: Hopefully, one day, someone will click on this and read the beautiful prose of the last hour, which sadly didn't make it on to your computer screens this afternoon. I can only apologise profusely.
1653: FULL-TIME Sunderland 2-1 Blackburn
1653: FULL-TIME Birmingham 0-0 Stoke
1653: FULL-TIME Man City 1-0 Wolves
1653: FULL-TIME Wigan 0-5 Man Utd
1652: FULL-TIME Hull 1-0 Bolton
1652: FULL-TIME Arsenal 4-1 Portsmouth
Nani curls a lovely free-kick home, with Wigan's defence as well as keeper Chris Kirkland motionless. United delirious, Wigan demoralised.
1651: GOALFLASH Wigan 0-5 Man Utd (Nani)
Michael who? Nani provides a lovely pass from midfield for Michael Owen to lift the ball over Chris Kirkland and in off the far post. Deadly finish to open his account for his new side.
1644: GOALFLASH Wigan 0-4 Man Utd (Owen)
1639: Hull are definitely on the up, both Kamel Fathi Ghilas and Jozy Altidore have been denied by Jussi Jaaskelainen and Phil Brown's new signings look to have clicked immediately.
1637: What's Hugo Rodallega up to? Already on a yellow, the Colombian striker charges towards Nemanja Vidic after being caught by the United defender. Rodallega has to be forcibly held back by Howard Webb, who almost lifts him off his feet. Another silly sausage.
1634: Ricardo Fuller has the ball in the net for Stoke - but ref Chris Foy spots that he used his hand. Silly sausage.
1633: Blackburn so close to an equaliser at Sunderland. Benni McCarthy's far-post header comes back off the bar. He should have done better.
1631: With Fabio Capello watching, David James comes off for Portsmouth. Not sure what the problem is - hurt pride? Fatigue? He is replaced by Asmir Begovic.
1629: Jozy Altidore misses a clear chance to wrap up the points for Hull. Sent through on goal, the muscular teenager has only the keeper to beat but volleys wide of the far post.
1628: Over to Eastlands where Robinho tucks the ball in at the far post from a low cross but the goal is ruled out for offside. City continue to make chance after chance but cannot add to their one-goal lead. Moments later Wolves' Andy Keogh strikes the bar with a vicious volley as City almost pay for the profligacy.
Well, at least Portsmouth have scored, eh? Robin Van Persie threads the pass through for Aaron Ramsey to beat the offside trap, take one touch and fire in confidently at the near post. A first Premier League goal for the 18-year-old.
1625: GOALFLASH Arsenal (Ramsey) 4-1 Portsmouth
Things looking a lot brighter for United now. Wayne Rooney scores goal number 101, picking up Dimitar Berbatov's pass and seeing his shot take a big deflection off Mario Melchiot to beat Chris Kirkland.
1624: GOALFLASH Wigan 0-3 Man Utd
And deadlock broken at the KC Stadium. What a start to Jozy Altidore's Premier League career. Just on as a sub, the 19-year-old American chests down a pass and hooks it on for fellow new boy Kamel Fathi Ghilas to run on and beat Jussi Jaaskelainen.
We wait ages for a United goal, now two come along in two minutes. Dimitar Berbatov starts the move, feeding Wayne Rooney, and finishes it too, latching on to Darren Fletcher's flick, lifting the ball over Chris Kirkland and prodding the ball home.
Right, a glut of goals. Here's that first United goal, and it's a landmark one too. Antonio Valencia sends over an inviting cross from the right and Wayne Rooney rises above Titus Bramble to nod into the top corner for his 100th goal for the club. Wigan almost reply immediately at the other end. A Jason Koumas cross is met by Hugo Rodallega at the back post and Ben Foster gets just about enough on his looping header to stop it going over the line.
1618: GOALFLASH Hull (Ghilas) 1-0 Bolton
1617: GOALFLASH Wigan 0-2 Man Utd (Berbatov)
1615: GOALFLASH Wigan 0-1 Man Utd (Rooney)
1615: Steven Nzonzi heads in for Blackburn but it's disallowed for Chris Samba's offside. Controversial.
Lee Cattermole crosses brilliantly from the left and Kenwyne Jones rises between two defenders to head past keeper Paul Robinson.
1611: GOALFLASH Sunderland (Jones) 2-1 Blackburn
1611: A cynical challenge by Manchester United defender Patrice Evra, who deliberately body-checks Charles N'Zogbia as he breaks away down the right flank. Wigan almost get their revenge from the free-kick, however, when N'Zogbia whips the ball in and Paul Scharner sees his header deflected inches wide.
1611: Sunderland keeper Marton Fulop - under pressure from Steven Nzonzi - fails to catch an El-Hadji Diouf cross to the far post and the ball drops for Nikola Kalinic but he can only stab the ball high from close range.
Haha. William Gallas just refuses to score off a traditional part of the body. Robin van Persie heads on an Andrei Arashavin free-kick and Thomas Vermaelen cushions the ball back for Gallas, who knees the ball up on to his face and in. Three in three for the defender.
1607: GOALFLASH Arsenal (Gallas) 3-1 Portsmouth
1606: Patrice Evra stops Hugo Rodallega in his tracks, but the ball comes to Charles N'Zogbia whose shot clips Rodallega's heels and drifts wide.
1605: A hamstring injury for Fabregas, we hear, while Nelsen has a knee ligament problem. Second half under way everywhere.
1600: Blackburn are about to make a half-time substitution, with Martin Olsson replacing Ryan Nelsen. A change that may not rock your world... but this might: Arsenal bring on Aaron Ramsay for Cesc Fabregas.
1551: Moments before half-time at the KC, Kevin Davies had his hands in his head after spurning a great chance. The Bolton striker floated in unmarked into the area and got a foot on Sean Davis' free-kick but he was stretching and skied his shot well over the bar. The visitors trudge off at the break wondering why they aren't ahead after enjoying more than 60% of possession.
BBC Sport's Phil McNulty at Eastlands: "Manchester City very lively up front, with Carlos Tevez, Emmanuel Adebayor and Robinho working well - supplemented throughout by Shaun Wright-Phillips. The question mark over City remains at the back, hence the pursuit of Joleon Lescott, but Wolves have barely exerted any pressure. Mick McCarthy was an agitated figure in his technical area and needs to do some tough talking at half-time."
From Danny the Stat: "League Two fans listen up. Two quickfire goals for Sven Goran Eriksson's Notts County - from Lee Hughes and Karl Hawley - and they're 2-0 up against Dagenham & Redbridge. County will replace Dagenham at the top if that stays the same. Meanwhile, the Great Goal Frenzy of Whaddon Road has continued. It's Cheltenham 3-3 Bradford."
1550: Still no goals for Manchester United at the DW Stadium but plenty to think about for boss Sir Alex Ferguson - his side have managed just one goal in 236 minutes of Premier League football this season. They've had plenty of chances against Wigan but have not taken any of them and the Latics have created a few openings themselves too.
1549: HALF-TIME Birmingham 0-0 Stoke
1548: HALF-TIME Man City 1-0 Wolves
1548: HALF-TIME Sunderland 1-1 Blackburn
1547: HALF-TIME Arsenal 2-1 Portsmouth
1547: HALF-TIME Hull 0-0 Bolton
1547: HALF-TIME Wigan 0-0 Man Utd
1543: Paul Scholes, already on a booking for one of his 'mis-timed' tackles, handles the ball - but escapes a second yellow. He walks away scratching his chin, as well he might.
1542: Portsmouth score a goal - and now Wolves finally have a chance at Eastlands. Strange times for football. Matthew Jarvis's curling shot from 25 yards is well-saved by Shay Given.
From Danny the Stat: "Great opening half for League One Norwich - they're 3-1 up over Wycombe. Sheffield Wednesday lead Scunthorpe 3-0, while Leeds are 2-0 up against Tranmere."
1537: It's goalless at the KC Stadium but Hull finally threaten the Bolton goal, Geovanni jinking past Fabrice Muamba to unleash a right foot volley that Jussi Jaaskelainen pushes around the near post.
Yes, you read that right. After being under siege for the first half-hour, Pompey get one back - and it's their first goal of the season. Nadir Belhadj crosses from the left and Younes Kaboul easily outjumps Manuel Almunia to head in. Arsenal appeal for a foul on the keeper, but it wasn't.
1537: GOALFLASH Arsenal 2-1 Portsmouth (Kaboul)
1536: Opening for Wigan. Jordi Gomez plays the ball to Charles N'Zogbia, who takes a touch and runs straight into Nemanja Vidic. Poor.
1534: Another decent opening for Manchester United but, just as at Burnley on Wednesday, they cannot put the ball in the net. Titus Bramble loses track of Jonny Evans' high ball over the top and Wayne Rooney gets behind him only to see his shot saved by Chris Kirkland's outstretched leg.
1533: Kanu waltzes off the right wing and into the Arsenal penalty area before squaring for John Utaka, but the Nigerian's goal-bound drive is blocked by Emmanuel Eboue. At the other end David James has to be at full stretch to deny Robin van Persie from the edge of the area.
Sunderland back on level terms. Steed Malbranque plays the ball through, Chris Samba slips over and Kenwyne Jones is left to coolly lift the ball over the onrushing keeper and slot into the empty net. Cue acrobatics.
1531: GOALFLASH Sunderland (Jones) 1-1 Blackburn
From Danny the Stat: "Here's a Crisis Club update for you. Mikele Leigertwood has put QPR 1-0 up over Nottingham Forest in what is a veritable CC derby at Loftus Road. But better news for Norwich. They're 2-0 ahead against Wycombe. That Paul Lambert's good, no?"
1528: It's not been all Manchester United. Wigan have just had their best spell of the match, with only a timely tackle by Patrice Evra stopping the ball running through to Hugo Rodallega, who was unmarked in front of goal. Jason Koumas has just seen a curling effort brilliantly pushed away by Ben Foster too - the Latics are growing in confidence.
BBC Sport's Phil McNulty at Eastlands: "Manchester City chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak looks a happy man as Emmanuel Adebayor puts them ahead from Carlos Tevez's astute pass. No wonder - £50m worth of summer spending went into creating that. Mark Hughes' side very good value for their lead."
1525: Wayne Rooney is looking very lively for Manchester United. He saw a 30-yard shot deflected wide then, a few seconds later, fired straight at Chris Kirkland after creating space for himself in the box. He's also just been on the wrong end of a marginal offside decision too.
And what about that second Arsenal goal? Cesc Fabregas plays a delightful ball into the right channel to release Emmanuel Eboue and the Ivorian crosses for goal machine Abou Diaby to tap in his second.
And that Blackburn goal: Morten Gamst Pedersen swings in a Blackburn corner which is cleared off the line by Sunderland's Lee Cattermole but he only finds Gael Givet, who drives home an 18-yard shot through a crowded area.
To think I was just moaning about a lack of goals... Here's that first Arsenal goal: Eduardo skilfully beats Portsmouth right-back Marc Wilson and cuts the ball back to an unmarked Abou Diaby, who meets it with a first-time finish into David James' left-hand corner.
1521: GOALFLASH Arsenal (Diaby) 2-0 Portsmouth
1520: GOALFLASH Sunderland 0-1 Blackburn (Givet)
City have dominated for 15 minutes - and score from their first clearcut chance. Left-wing cross from Wayne Bridge comes all the way to Carlos Tevez, who provides a lovely, cushioned pass for Emmanuel Adebayor who slots in his second in two games for his new club.
1518: GOALFLASH Arsenal (Diaby) 1-0 Portsmouth
1518: GOALFLASH Man City (Adebayor) 1-0 Wolves
1516: Morten Gamst Pedersen half-volleys over the bar after Sunderland keeper Marton Fulop flaps at a high ball, not for the first time.
1511: Early blow for Stoke, as James Beattie picks up an injury and is replaced by goal, er, shy Dave Kitson. And an injury for Blackburn too as Franco di Santo, on his full debut for Rovers, appears to pick up a hamstring injury. Nikola Kalinic will be on.
BBC Sport's Phil McNulty at Eastlands: "Carlos Tevez's boundless enthusiasm is already firing up the fans at Eastlands, twice forcing Wolves keeper Wayne Hennessey into hasty clearances. Lively start by Manchester City, whose array of attacking riches means they can afford to leave Craig Bellamy on the bench."
1508: Another chance for United, who are opening Wigan up with some clever movement from their forwards. Dimitar Berbatov's backheel on the edge of the area gives Paul Scholes space for a shot but he blasts wastefully over.
From Danny the Stat: "This Championship lark's a bit easy for you Magpies isn't it? Kevin Nolan's put Newcastle ahead at Crystal Palace after just 103 seconds. Meanwhile, goal fans are having a ball at Whaddon Road where it's already a scarcely-credible Cheltenham 1-2 Bradford, after just seven flipping minutes."
1506: Wigan had dominated possession in the opening minutes but United have just had a great chance to take the lead. Maynor Figueroa gives the ball away and Wayne Rooney feeds Dimitar Berbatov, who slides the ball through to the overlapping Nani inside the box. He squares for Darren Fletcher but, with Chris Kirkland beaten, Titus Bramble gets back brilliantly to block his shot on the line.
1504: Neat passing move from Arsenal - where have I heard that before? - and Abou Diaby is though on goal but delays his shot and is thwarted by Nadir Belhadj. Meanwhile at the KC, striker Johan Elmander unsettles Hull immediately, latching on to Fabrice Muamba's through ball but dragging his shot narrowly wide of the post.
1503: Blackburn defender Chris Samba has a close-range header from a corner, but Danny Collins somehow blocks on the line for Sunderland. The next corner hits the post - and though Jason Roberts heads in the rebound, the whistle saves the Black Cats. Bit of pushing.
1501: We're off.
From anon via text on 81111: "Re 1449: Talking of teams with multiple players with the same name, at Huddersfield we have manager Lee Clark and Peter, Nathan and Tom Clarke in the squad."
1457: Plenty of big games in the Football League today, which Danny the Stat has got his beady eyes on. In the Championship, Reading, Ipswich, QPR and Nottingham Forest are among those teams still without a win. QPR host Forest today.
1452: Where's Michael Carrick?, someone on Twitter wants to know. Dunno. The England midfielder has got the boot from United's matchday squad after missing that penalty at Burnley in midweek. He didn't make the bench against Birmingham last weekend either. Maybe he's got a thing about benches.
1451: If you give this page a manual refresh, all sorts of magic will appear before your very eyes (although much of it will be for UK eyes only).
1449: And yes folks, that means Bolton have three players called Davi(e)s in their team.
1447: TEAM NEWS Hull v Bolton Hull manager Phil Brown makes four changes from the team that were stunned by Spurs midweek, with new signing from Celta Vigo, Kamel Ghilas, set to lead the line with Geovanni and Kevin Kilbane coming in to bolster the midfield and Kamil Zayatte the defence. Bolton's Sam Ricketts will face his former club and Zat Knight is set to make his 200th career league appearance as Bolton manager Gary Megson makes one change from last weekend's lost to Sunderland, with Mark Davies coming in for Gavin McCann.
1443: TEAM NEWS Birmingham v Stoke Birmingham's Cameron Jerome and Gregory Vignal failed to pass late fitness tests but Lee Bowyer is back in midfield after completing a three-game ban. Giovanny Espinoza is on the bench after recovering from injury. Stoke boss Tony Pulis has made two changes with Liam Lawrence and Ricardo Fuller back in the side - Dean Whitehead and Richard Cresswell drop to the bench.
BBC Sport's Phil McNulty at Eastlands: "Eastlands slowly filling up, but enough inside to give a rousing reception to the array of new faces on show for Manchester City today as they warm up. And it sounds like they will be joined by another very soon as the word is that Mark Hughes' long, not to mention highly acrimonious, chase for Everton's Joleon Lescott is slowly moving towards a conclusion. City's expectant fans will want an emphatic victory today to build on the opening day win at Blackburn."
1437: TEAMS Hull v Bolton Hull: Myhill, Zayatte, Turner, Gardner, Dawson, Ghilas, Olofinjana, Geovanni, Kilbane, Hunt, Folan. Subs: Warner, Fagan, Barmby, Altidore, Halmosi, Mouyokolo, Boateng. Bolton: Jaaskelainen, Ricketts, Cahill, Knight, Robinson, Davis, Mark Davies, Muamba, Kevin Davies, Taylor, Elmander. Subs: Al Habsi, Samuel, Steinsson, McCann, Shittu, Lee, Ward.
1436: TEAM NEWS Arsenal v Portsmouth Arsenal make four changes from the team which beat Everton 6-1 on the opening day of the season as Emmanuel Eboue, Kieran Gibbs, Abou Diaby and Eduardo replace Bacary Sagna, Gael Clichy, Alexandre Song and Nicklas Bendtner. There are two changes to the Portsmouth side that was beaten at Birmingham in midweek - Younes Kaboul deputises for Anthony Vanden Borre and John Utaka comes in for Papa Bouba Diop.
1435: TEAM NEWS Sunderland v Blackburn Steed Malbranque comes in for Jordan Henderson in midfield as Sunderland manager Steve Bruce makes one change from the side which lost to Chelsea in midweek. Left-back Stephen Warnock is not in the Blackburn squad for the game - fuelling speculation he is set for a move to Aston Villa - while centre-back Ryan Nelsen returns to the starting line-up after injury. Franco di Santo comes in for Benni McCarthy in attack.
1433: TEAM NEWS Man City v Wolves Manchester City hand Carlos Tevez his full debut, the Argentine replacing Craig Bellamy up front in the only change from the team which beat Blackburn last weekend. Wolves are unchanged from the side that beat Wigan in midweek.
1431: TEAM NEWS Man Utd v Wigan Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson rings the changes following Wednesday's shock defeat at Burnley, bringing in Nemanja Vidic, Gary Neville, Nani, Darren Fletcher, Paul Scholes, Dimitar Berbatov and former Wigan winger Antonio Valencia for John O'Shea, Wes Brown, Ji-Sung Park, Anderson, Michael Carrick, Ryan Giggs and Michael Owen. Wigan's new French midfielder Mohamed Diame, who only completed his move from Rayo Vallecano a few hours ago, makes his first start and replaces Michael Brown in the Latics' only change from Tuesday's defeat by Wolves.
1426: TEAMS Man City v Wolverhampton Man City: Given, Richards, Dunne, Toure, Bridge, Wright-Phillips, Ireland, Barry, Tevez, Adebayor, Robinho. Subs: Taylor, Onuoha, Zabaleta, Petrov, De Jong, Bellamy, Weiss. Wolverhampton: Hennessey, Stearman, Craddock, Mancienne, Stephen Ward, Henry, Halford, Edwards, Jarvis, Milijas, Keogh. Subs: Hahnemann, Elokobi, Surman, David Jones, Berra, Vokes, Doyle.
1425: TEAMS Wigan v Man Utd Wigan: Kirkland, Melchiot, Scharner, Bramble, Figueroa, N'Zogbia, Thomas, Diame, Koumas, Gomez, Rodallega. Subs: Pollitt, Edman, Scotland, Sinclair, Boyce, McCarthy, King. Man Utd: Foster, Neville, Vidic, Jonathan Evans, Evra, Valencia, Fletcher, Scholes, Nani, Rooney, Berbatov. Subs: Kuszczak, Owen, Giggs, Welbeck, Fabio Da Silva, O'Shea, Gibson.
1422: Teams starting to come in now. But before that, news from BBC 5 Live's Ian Dennis: he says sources at Eastlands are telling him the Joleon Lescott transfer could go through this weekend.
1420: What a very polite football fan JonAlexSmith (see below) seems to be. According to Phil Brown, the season starts today for Hull, and those two defeats by Chelsea and Tottenham didn't really count - or something like that. As motivation for today's game, Brown took the squad to Hull's former Boothferry Park ground. "It is a stark reminder of the reality of the last 10 years," he said. "It showed the new boys the history of the club and exactly where we've come from. They probably thought I was mental, but look at how far we've come. We're here at the KC Stadium and we have got to start playing some football in it."
From JonAlexSmith on Twitter:
"If Hull don't manage at least a draw today, I withdraw my support for Phil Brown. I can only be so lenient, Phil... sorry."
1411: Let's all spare a thought for poor Sunderland. They've played two games and already they're a little bit tired. Here are Steve Bruce's thoughts on being asked to play Saturday, Tuesday, Saturday, Monday - and see if you can spot the slight exaggeration. "It doesn't make any sense and it is totally ridiculous to ask that of any footballer who is just starting the season. We wonder why they have lumps and bumps and strains. The players are tired and haven't got time to train. It is ridiculous, total nonsense. We had to run a million miles against Chelsea."
1406: Arsenal have scored six goals in one game in the Prem this season. Portsmouth have scored no goals in two. Too close to call that one... Anyway, apparently, all the home fans will get a free scarf today as Arsenal try to create Fortress Emirates.
1403: Portsmouth last beat Arsenal in 1954, it says here. Uh-huh. Their last away win was at Sunderland in November in November 2008, it also says here. Mmmm.
1351: What's that? You've got a question that's troubling you as well? Why not drop me a line on 81111, on
1347: Come come, I'm only kidding Liverpool and Man United fans. Stop your angry texting. Many other much more serious questions today: can Hull score a point? Can Portsmouth score a goal? Can Huddersfield and Arsenal stop scoring goals? How long before Roy Keane strops off? What happened to early kick-offs?
1340: So that's Manchester United and Liverpool out of the title race then. Who will fall by the wayside today?
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