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By Caroline Cheese
2148: Thanking you for your company tonight. Do return on Saturday as Chris Bevan kicks off the Premier League season won't you?
2147: I'd bring you extra-time from Coventry but I'm having severe technical problems here - perhaps because of the volume of texts telling me John Terry started out at West Ham. You can
continue to follow the minute-by-minute commentary though.
And check back on the website for the second-round draw at 2200 BST.
2145: Nottingham Forest are in the hat for the Carling Cup second round after three second-half goals against Bradford.
2142: Coventry and Hartlepool will go to extra-time in their Carling Cup first-round tie after a stalemate.
2140: FULL-TIME Northern Ireland 1-1 Israel
2139: FULL-TIME Netherlands 2-2 England
2136: Leicester move into round two of the Carling Cup with a 2-0 win at League Two Macclesfield. Bradford down to 10 men against Nottm Forest, Jonathan Bateson the man to go.
2135: Wesley Sneijder's driven effort is deflected behind for a corner. About a minute remaining in Amsterdam.
2133: Oh yes, and John Terry started out at West Ham. I wish I had never started this Hammers chat. Glen Johnson rashly dives in on new Liverpool team-mate Ryan Babel and Holland have a free-kick... Don't look, Graham Taylor.
2132: Macedonia are beating Spain 2-0. Will that make Macedonia European champions if they win?
2129: Wayne Bridge on for Ashley Cole... hang on, Ashley Cole doesn't have a West Ham connection does he? There we go. David Carney scores in the 90th minute to make it Republic of Ireland 0-3 Australia at full-time.
2129: Nottingham Forest home and dry now. Lewis McGugan makes it 3-0 against Bradford. And Mexico, thriving in their post-Eriksson era, equalise in the big local derby against the USA.
2127: Well done everyone. Carlton Cole came through at Chelsea before moving to West Ham. Nonetheless, the only England players on the pitch in Amsterdam without a Hammers connection are: John Terry, James Milner, Shaun Wright-Phillips and someone else I think. Sorry, that brilliant stat has tailed off somewhat.
2124: FULL-TIME Montenegro 2-1 Wales
James Milner beats Johnny Heitinga to the ball on the left and crosses for Jermain Defoe to slot in his second. Dirk Kuyt off for Holland, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar on.
2122: GOAL Netherlands 2-2 England
2119: A Coventry fan on Twitter wants me to mention the Sky Blues' game against Hartlepool. Done. No goals there.
2115: Leicester now 2-0 up against Macclesfield thanks to Matty Fryatt. And Carlton Cole almost scores a Gazza-against-Scotland-esque goal, the West Ham striker flicking the ball up and past the defender before volleying narrowly side.
2113: James Milner replaces Ashley Young to win his first full England cap. Graham Taylor's verdict on Young: "He has done quite well. The service hasn't been all that plentiful, but he has been prepared to go looking for it."
2112: Dany N'Guessan's goal for Leicester was apparently a backheel from three yards out, so perhaps a "close-range strike" does him a bit of a disservice.
2108: Aaron Ramsey's passing and vision has been one of the highlights for the Wales team but Montenegro have been physical to say the least and the Arsenal midfielder limps off. I don't think Arsene Wenger is going to be happy.
2106: Carling Cup news - Leicester take a 1-0 lead at Macclesfield thanks to a close-range strike by French winger Dany N'Guessan. What was that texter earlier saying? Dexter Blackstock makes it 2-0 for Nottingham Forest against Bradford.
2105: West Ham fans rejoice... Carlton Cole replaces Wayne Rooney for England and that's now virtually a whole team of players with West Ham connections.
From Harold in Southampton via text on 81111: "As an England fan, I have to say, I don't like change. Having a manager who has a back-up plan and tactical knowledge troubles me deeply..."
2101: Jermain Defoe's shot is cleared by defender Johnny Heitinga... not sure it was on target actually.
2057: Stevan Jovetic curls an effort against the crossbar and Simon Vukcevic should score from the rebound but he shoots wide from 10 yards.
2056: And the Carling Cup goal drought has been broken by Paul Anderson, whose header puts Nottingham Forest 1-0 up against Bradford a minute after the break.
Well, that change has worked out rather well then. Frank Lampard flicks the ball on for Jermain Defoe, whose first touch takes him a bit wide but he still manages to stab the ball past the keeper. His sixth goal under Fab.
2054: GOAL Netherlands 2-1 England
2052: And Fabio Capello makes just the three changes. Off go Dave Beckham, Garry Barry and Emile Heskey. On come SWP, Jermain Defoe and Michael Carrick.
2051: Right, the games at Windsor Park and the Amsterdam Arena are back under way.
From Dave, at the Moss Rose, via text on 81111: "At the Macc-Leicester game. We don't care that there have been no goals, Macc are playing a great defensive game, Foxes fans looking worried! Hopefully Macc will score and win - their first half performance deserves nothing less."
2046: Now, here's a scoreline that might be of interest to England fans. Eduardo has just scored to make it Belarus 0-2 Croatia. If Croatia draw or win that game, it means that Capello's men will absolutely definitely qualify if they beat Croatia at Wembley on 9 September.
From Ben, Macclesfield, via text on 81111 "Re 2038: Don't worry Caroline. The mighty Silkmen will break the deadlock soon against Leicester!"
The Sams combine. Ricketts crosses from the left and 19-year-old Wolves striker Vokes rises above his defender to head in for Wales.
2043: GOAL Montenegro 2-1 Wales (Vokes)
Scotland boss George Burley: "Whatever could have gone wrong tonight went wrong."
From Dave, Swansea, via text on 81111: "Re 2030: the bright side is that football is back. Even if it isn't going too well!"
2038: No goals in the Carling Cup? Can this be right?
From Chris, Cardiff, via text on 81111: "Re 2030: that you're not Scotland?"
2036: Off they go again in Montenegro, where a makeshift Wales side trail 2-0.
2033: HALF-TIME Netherlands 2-0 England
2031: HALF-TIME Northern Ireland 1-1 Israel
2030: Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life is the song from the Holland fans. And the bright side is what precisely?
2028: Half-time at Thomond Park and Republic of Ireland are now 2-0 down. Tim Cahill gets his second after Shay Given can only hold Williams' rasping shot. More dreadful Irish defending.
Gareth Barry does a Rio, passing straight to Arjen Robben. Rob Green keeps the former Chelsea's winger's shot out with an outstretched leg but Rafael Van der Vaart slots in the rebound. Fabio Capello purses his lips, in an expression that says 'what on earth was that?'
2026: GOAL Netherlands 2-0 England
2025: Robin van Persie wriggles through two challenges in midfield and wallops a shot just wide of Rob Green's right-hand post.
2022: Arjen Robben beats Glen Johnson but sees his rising shot tipped over by England keeper Rob Green.
A lovely ball by Simon Vukcevic puts Radomir Djalovic through on goal and he beats keeper Wayne Hennessey with a shot across goal. Wales defender Danny Gabbidon does not cover himself in glory with his marking.
2019: GOAL Montenegro 2-0 Wales
2017: Rafael van der Vaart floats a free-kick to the far post for Dirk Kuyt, but Rob Green makes a good save with his legs.
2016: Tim Cahill puts the Aussies ahead against the Republic of Ireland at Thomond Park as he punishes slack home defending with a low 20-yard shot past Shay Given.
2015: England appeal for a penalty after Nigel de Jong appears to handle Gareth Barry's flick-on. Capello's side looking a lot better after the early shock of that goal.
Swift counter-attack by Israel and Roberto Colautti is in acres of space on the right, crossing for Elyaniv Barda to slot in at the far post.
2012: GOAL Northern Ireland 1-1 Israel (Barda)
2011: Great chance for Robert Earnshaw to equalise for Wales. He turns a defender and has a clear run on goal but his heavy touch allows keeper Vukasin Poleksic to come out and block his shot.
2006: Glen Johnson slips the ball through for Frank Lampard, who gets a decent low shot in, well-saved by Holland keeper Maarten Stekelenburg.
Ha! That's more like it. Scunthorpe midfielder Grant McCann curls in a sensational free-kick to put Northern Ireland ahead at Windsor Park.
2004: GOAL Northern Ireland 1-0 Israel
Danny Gabbidon's push on Simon Vukcevic gives Montenegro a penalty and Stevan Jovetic sends Wayne Hennessy the wrong way. Not going great for the home nations so far is it?
2003: GOAL Montenegro 1-0 Wales (Jovetic)
What on earth?????????? Rio Ferdinand attempts the most ridiculous first-time pass back to keeper Rob Green, Dirk Kuyt nips in and takes the ball to the byeline, beats Green and blasts in at the far post despite John Terry's presence on the line. Disaster. Win the World Cup? You won't win an egg cup with defending like that.
1957: GOAL Netherland 1-0 England (Kuyt)
From Admiral_Pure on 606
"The worst performance since the Vogts era. Buck stops with the manager. Burley should resign, it's as simple as that."
1954: A nice move from Wales down the left. It ends with Aaron Ramsey deftly chipping the ball over the Montenegro defence to Simon Church, whose left-foot volley across goal is well struck but wide.
1951: England are up and running against Holland in Amsterdam, and those three Carling Cup ties are also under way. Scotland, meanwhile, sink to third in World Cup qualifying Group Nine. Their remaining two games are against Macedonia and Holland at home.
1949: FULL-TIME Norway 4-0 Scotland
Morten Gamst Pedersen strokes in a lovely free-kick past a stranded David Marshall to complete the thrashing for Norway against sorry Scotland.
1948: GOAL Norway 4-0 Scotland
1948: Northern Ireland's game against Israel is under way at Windsor Park.
1947: Two minutes of added time in Oslo - and Norway have a free-kick.
1945: Fabulous effort by Kris Commons, the Derby man thumping a right-foot shot narrowly over the bar.
From anon via text on 81111: "Say what you will about his behaviour but this Scotland midfield have a huge Barry Ferguson shaped hole in it."
1941: News from the Gradski Stadium in Montenegro... Simon Vukcevic crosses from the right for Stevan Jovetic, who tries a first-time volley but he can't keep it down as his effort flies well over the Wales goal.
1940: Huge ovation from the home fans as John Carew comes off. Scotland will be very glad to see the back of the man-mountain.
1938: Think I'd rather watch a snoozefest in all honesty. BBC analyst Kevin Gallacher is asked if he can find any positives for George Burley. "Errrr," begins Gallacher. "The first 20 minutes...?"
1935: More Scotland woe as Wolves defender Christophe Berra limps off to be replaced by Steven Whittaker.
From Gordy, Greenock, via text on 81111: "I wouldn't trust George Burley to pick my garden gnomes."
1932: Wales' friendly in Montenegro is under way. We've got live streaming of that as well if you're interested - and in the UK.
From brightzaraerin on 606
"Watching the Scotland game at work, wish we were busier! This must be the worst Scottish performance in a very long time. Burley can't take all the blame - some of these footballing millionaires out there can't even pass a ball. Pathetic!"
1930: Nice one-two between Darren Fletcher and James McFadden... oh, Fletcher blocked on the edge of the area.
From colinf on Twitter:
"I can't take any more! Please abandon your journalistic principles now and start posting about Scotland comeback."
1925: John Arne Riise with a rasper now, well-saved by David Marshall. If this isn't already embarrassing, it could be about to become so...
1923: And that is four... NO! John Carew instinctively puts a leg out to meet Morten Gamst Pedersen's fabulous cross. It hits the bar and bounces down and looks for all the world like it has crossed the line before David Marshall collects.
1921: And nearly four. Norway break at pace and the ball comes out to Bjorn Helge Riise, who takes a touch but sees his shot blocked by Callum Davidson. John Arne Riise sends over another devilish corner, which goes just past the far post.
That should be two goals. John Carew muscles his way through the Scotland defence and pings a low shot, which hits the right-hand post, rolls across the line, and comes back off the other post before Erik Huseklepp slides in to make it 3-0.
1917: GOAL Norway 3-0 Scotland
From MalcH on Twitter:
"Burley must offer something in the way of a response or he's toast come tomorrow's newspapers. Team selection questionable."
1914: John Carew takes advantage of a slip by Callum Davidson, and cheekily tries to chip the ball over the keeper and in at the far post. No luck.
1910: France win 1-0 in the Faroe Islands. How is Raymond Domenech still in a job? Germany win 2-0 in Azerbaijan.
1908: A rare chance for Scotland. Kris Commons picks up the ball on the right, looks up, has no support, so has a shot instead. Beaten away by keeper Jon Knudsen.
1905: If Scotland lose 2-0 - or worse - they will drop to third in Group Nine on goal difference behind Macedonia.
1904: A second change by George Burley and it's talisman James McFadden coming on to replace the remaining Caldwell, Steven.
1903: Chance for John Carew almost immediately as the ball squirms into his path - blocked by David Marshall.
1902: Off we go again.
From anon via text on 81111: "How many managers can we blame for what is simply a lack of actual talent and concentration?"
From shortwords on 606
"Re David Begg's comment at 1847: I suppose we can draw some comfort from the coffin lid not falling in as well."
1857: Things were so much better when all we had to worry about was Chris Iwelumo's miss of the century...
From Colin in Glasgow, via text on 81111: "S Caldwell instead of Weir? McCormack instead of McFadden, Alexander? Burley must go."
BBC2 Scotland pundit Pat Nevin: "It's the oldest tactic book. You lump the ball up to John Carew and we start to panic."
Dundee United manager Craig Levein: "I thought we were doing quite well for the period up until the red card, but it's fallen apart in the last 10 minutes. I was so disappointed to see the second goal going in just before half-time as the manager would have had a chance to reorganise, but at 2-0 down with 10 men it's really difficult."
1851: David Beckham starts... Meanwhile, Alan Hansen and his mates reckon John Arne Riise was lucky to be on the pitch to put Norway ahead. His sliding challenge on Kris Commons was indeed a shocker.
1850: England team to face Holland Robert Green; Glen Johnson, Rio Ferdinand, John Terry, Ashley Cole; David Beckham, Frank Lampard, Gareth Barry, Ashley Young; Emile Heskey, Wayne Rooney.
1847: HALF-TIME Norway 2-0 Scotland
BBC Radio Scotland commentator David Begg: "And that is the final nail in the World Cup coffin for Scotland. The roof has fallen in."
Norway slice open the Scotland defence with a long ball down the right. The ball is played inside to Blackburn midfielder Morten Gamst Pedersen, who curls a lovely finish past David Marshall just moments before half-time.
1846: GOAL Norway 2-0 Scotland (Pedersen)
1844: For goodness sake... Having just seen his brother sent off for pulling back John Carew, Steven Caldwell gets his first booking - for pulling back John Carew.
1838: Scotland boss George Burley makes a change. His side need a miracle now. Perhaps Christophe Berra can provide it. He's on for Ross McCormack.
Well, they do say bad luck comes in threes. This is nightmare viewing for Scotland fans. John Arne Riise's free-kick takes a massive deflection off Scott Brown and nestles in the corner.
1835: GOAL Norway 1-0 Scotland (JA Riise)
1834: Ah. Not the best idea Gary Caldwell's ever had. As the ball comes over, he is pulling on John Carew's arm and shirt and the referee brings out the second yellow, followed by the dreaded red.
1833: RED CARD Gary Caldwell (Scotland)
1832: And another! Gary Caldwell dives in on John Carew and he'll walk the tightrope now. Not literally.
1831: John Arne Riise gets a booking now. He loves the cameras, that boy. Rash challenge on Kris Commons.
1830: And now John Arne Riise misses a sitter, volleying over from six yards out. Scotland living dangerously.
1827: These are heart-stopping moments for Scotland fans. John Carew appeals for a penalty after a sliding challenge from Steven Caldwell. Ref waves away the appeal. As they say: seen them given.
1824: Ooooh. Fizzing corner from John Arne Riise and it might have sneaked straight in at the far post, but Kris Commons heads off the line.
1823: Northern Ireland team to face Israel Maik Taylor, Chris Baird, Aaron Hughes, Stephen Craigan, George McCartney, Damien Johnson, Grant McCann, Sammy Clingan, Chris Brunt, Kyle Lafferty, David Healy.
1822: Gary Caldwell gives away a free-kick... it's about 40 yards out, but does John Arne Riise fancy a dig? No, but Morten Gamst Pedersen does. Well-struck but comfortable for David Marshall.
1819: Magne Hoseth follows his team-mate John Carew into the book for a late challenge on Alan Hutton.
1816: Almost a catastrophic mistake by Norway defender Kjetil Waehler, but he recovers in time to deny Kenny Miller the chance to put Scotland ahead.
1814: John Carew is pretty quick for a big man... Gary Caldwell looks to have plenty of time to clear a through-ball but in the end it's a bit of a scramble as the striker bears down on him.
1810: John Carew catches Gary Caldwell with an elbow as they challenge for a long ball, and the Villa striker is the first man into the book.
1808: Kris Commons wins the ball from John Arne Riise in the area - but is unfathomably penalised. Only referee referee Alain Hamar knows why.
1805: Good chance for Scotland. Norway have three chances to clear Kris Commons' corner, but swing and miss on each occasion. The ball ends up with Darren Fletcher at the far post but he blazes over.
1804: And now a corner for Norway. John Arne Riise with a decent delivery, but Scotland clear their lines.
1802: Wales team to face Montenegro Wayne Hennessey, Chris Gunter, James Collins, Ashley Williams, Danny Gabbidon, Sam Ricketts, Jack Collison, Joe Ledley, Aaron Ramsey, Simon Church, Rob Earnshaw. Subs: Lewis Price, Neal Eardley, Lewin Nyatanga, Craig Morgan, Owain Tudur-Jones, David Cotterill, Sam Vokes
1801: Start as you mean to go on... John Arne Riise flings a long throw into the area, but Norway are penalised for a bit of pushing. First test passed.
1800: Scotland, in their white shirts and blue shorts, kick us off.
BBC Radio Scotland pundit Jim Traynor on that rendition of Flower of Scotland: "Thinking back to Celtic in Australia, a wee boy with a digeridoo could do better than that."
1756: Anthems now... and this is the slowest rendition of Flower of Scotland I think I have ever heard. Nice effort with the fancy trumpet bits though.
1754: Egil Olsen hasn't lost a home match as Norway boss in 18 years! Crikey. I remain confident though. Especially as BBC Scotland's Chick Young has just revealed that Scotland have never lost when Darren Fletcher has skippered the side.
1751: Birmingham boss Alex McLeish reveals on BBC2 that he's had a quiet word with former Rangers skipper Barry Ferguson about his recent remarks. Ferguson described his treatment by the SFA as "a joke". This from the man who responded to being dropped after an all-night drinking session by being pictured on the bench flicking the Vs. There is only one "joke" there, I would suggest.
1748: Time for you to do a bit of work. Manually refresh this page for moving pictures. That's in the UK only. If you're an international gadabout, you can kick back and relax.
George Burley speaking to BBC Radio Scotland: "We had some tough decisions and we have some talented players on the bench. The players are still virtually in their pre-season, so we needed players who can come on and improve the energy of the side."
1739: Egil Olsen has sprung a bit of a surprise with his team selection, leaving ex-Spurs striker Stefan Iversen on the bench and picking SK Brann's Erik Huseklepp to start alongside John Carew Carew, he's bigger than me and you.
From Declan in Edinburgh, via text on 81111: "Anything other than a defeat will do us well. I just can't see where the goals will come from."
From AndyACB on Twitter:
"Re 1711: I used to play with big Chris Iwelumo at boys' club level, I was the only person in the stadium telling him to keep his chin up!"
1734: Olsen led Norway to the World Cup finals in 1994 and 1998, and to number two in the world rankings. Here's some more from the former Wimbledon boss: "When we beat Brazil in 1998 we played 65% of our passes forward, and Brazil played 35% forward. If Brazil had played 65% forward, they would have beaten us - easily. So that is my philosophy. I know that you can't play 100% of passes forward, that would be stupid, but I think we could increase it."
1731: Good news for eccentricity fans. Egil Olsen is back in charge of Norway! That means Scotland's Caldwell brothers can expect to have cricked necks by the end of the night. Here are Olsen's thoughts on his long-ball tactics: "Most of the coaches in Norway disagree with me. But I believe that if you count forward passes, square passes and support passes, the most effective way to play is by playing around 75% of your passes forward and we have counted this."
1727: TEAMS Norway v Scotland Norway: Knudsen, Hogli, Waehler, Hangeland, John Arne Riise, Bjorn Helge Riise, Grindheim, Pedersen, Hoseth, Carew, Huseklepp. Subs: Jarstein, Reginiussen, Skjelbred, Winsnes, Brenne, Iversen, Helstad. Scotland: Marshall, Hutton, Davidson, Steven Caldwell, Gary Caldwell, Graham Alexander, Darren Fletcher, Commons, Brown, Miller, McCormack. Subs: Neil Alexander, Berra, Whittaker, Hartley, Maloney, McFadden, Steven Fletcher.
1723: Later on, three international friendlies, including Holland v England, and the remaining three Carling Cup first-round ties. But that's all for later. Scotland-Norway is the big one tonight, and I am completely confident that Burley's boys will triumph.
From Steve B, long suffering Scotland fan, via text on 81111: "Re 1711: 'No chance of a repeat'? Clearly you have limited knowledge of our ability to self destruct Caroline."
1716: Other one-word summaries of that Scotland-Norway game include: horrifying, sitter, howler, ouch, and, my personal favourite, ARGHHHHH. You can join the fun via text on 81111, on
or give me a shout on
if you're that way inclined.
1713: Scotland kick off in Oslo at 1800 BST in a game you can watch live on BBC2 and on this here website (UK only). George Burley's side are currently second in Group Nine with seven points, but that's only four ahead of rock bottom Norway.
1711: Would it begin with an 'I'? And perhaps end with
No chance of a repeat - the Wolves striker, who missed from two yards at Hampden, is injured. Kenny Miller gets the nod up front in a vital game for Scotland in Oslo.
1705: Hello there. If you were to sum up Scotland's last meeting with Norway in one word, what would it be?
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