Holloway column

Listen to Ollie sound off!

The Leicester manager gives his inimitable views on football and life in general in his weekly column.

This week he dismisses rumours that his job is under threat and speaks of his determination to get Leicester back to winning ways.

He also reveals why he wouldn't run for Prime Minister and gives his opinions on Dolly Parton's best assets.

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ARE YOU FEELING THE HEAT AT LEICESTER?

No I'm feeling pretty cold, really!

Some of the papers are saying my job's under threat - well it always is, isn't it? I suggest they come up with something a bit cleverer than that.

You've only got to look at my chairman's record - you could have said that when I first got the job - but I've outlasted everybody else here this season so far!

Anybody can manage a football club when you're winning, I was brought here to try and sort it out when we were losing. No-one wants us to be here but we are, so we've got to deal with it.

Ollie's this cool

Whatever happens, happens in life. You're looking for your team to gain some strength, even in adversity.

It's swings and roundabouts - we've scored three goals in the last three games that have been disallowed. We lost two games a few months ago where the referee wrote an apology to us for getting two decisions wrong, which cost us goals and games.

But that's just the way things go in life and I'm not feeling the heat - I'm ice cold and ready to go.

BAD RUN

We lost three games in 10 days, which after beating Crystal Palace was an unbelievable shock really.

Away at Blackpool we let one in in the last minute which seems to have wobbled everybody. But these lads need to stop wobbling and sort their lives out. Then we lost to Plymouth which was pretty shocking.

Leicester are sick of being beaten

Next up is Norwich at home, who are doing all right, then Coventry away and Preston at home.

I've got to target three wins from those three games. That's what we need and that's what we're after.

After beating Palace we started thinking we can beat anyone, but unfortunately in this division you can also be beaten by anybody.

If we get two wins in a row we won't be sat where we are at the moment. Anybody can do anything in this division and we've just get to get out of the run we're on at the moment.

BORING, BORING LEICESTER?

Some Leicester fans said they were unhappy with some of the football being played.

So was I against Plymouth, but I wasn't unhappy with the football we played against Watford the other night and I haven't been unhappy with a lot of the other stuff we've played.

Against Plymouth it was a late kick-off on the telly, our lads saw the other results - with everybody else down there winning.

After they got a goal, we just played the ball towards Steven Howard's head, which I've never told them to do.

Ollie is targeting neat football

So the other day I got a target off the internet and put it on Howard's head in training. And then I moved it from his forehead, to his chest, to his thigh and said 'hang on a minute, I want you lot to play football'.

So I've banned them from hitting any long free-kicks from anywhere other than the last 25m.

Some people can't cope under pressure - seeing that result, seeing how the crowd were to me, I think it wobbled my team.

But they showed great character to do what they did against Watford the other day. Unfortunately we let a goal in against 10 men. But we're not the first team to do that and it's all about the next game - that's the one that matters.

RECEPTION FROM PLYMOUTH FANS

Horrendous. Apparently it's my fault that the Titanic sank - in fact you name anything bad in the world that's happened and it's my fault according to them. But such is life.

VALENTINE'S DAY

I didn't make my wife a card in the end, I bought her one instead. I took nearly an hour choosing it, though!

We went for an Indian meal and then to see Sweeney Todd at the pictures, which I thought was a great film although my wife wasn't so keen.

Hello ladies

I'm never going to shave again after watching that. I'm going to have to grow a great big beard. I couldn't go to sleep and I couldn't even walk past the kitchen drawers without jumping out of my skin.

I tell you what though, Johnny Depp makes me sick. He's 45, a year older than me, but he's got a full head of hair and not a wrinkle in sight.

If I could look like any bloke it would be him and if I was a woman I'd be all over him like a rash!

DOLLY PARTON

Country singer Dolly Parton has postponed her forthcoming US tour because of backache. She said: "You try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don't have back problems!"

Ha ha ha ha!!! Dearie, dearie me - I bet there's a few fellas out there who wouldn't mind helping her with that weight!

Dolly has a few things to get off her chest

My dad used to make some comments along those lines a few years ago. I think some comedian's even done a song about them.

(They're all natural apparently - Ed)

I'm quite embarrassed talking about them to be honest - I wouldn't know!

I don't know if you've noticed but people do talk about Dolly Parton's boobs as if they're people in their own right.

All I do know is that a lot of blokes, because they haven't got any, get fascinated by them. I did say jokingly a few years ago that if I had a pair myself I'd probably hardly ever go out!

PUNTER'S QUESTION

Lut0nt0wn: "You want more manager lookalikes? How about this....Baron Greenback from Dangermouse, and Avram Grant.

Absolute ringer, yeah! I think he looks like Toad of Toad Hall personally.

If anyone's got any more manager lookalikes, let's hear them.

PUNTER'S QUESTION II

Chacor (Keep the Premier League in England!: "Are you aware there's an 'Ian Holloway for Prime Minister' group on Facebook? Ollie for PM!"

No, not at all. I can't imagine why I'd ever be on Facebook, not with a face like this!

I might need the Prime Minister's job very soon, though, if the papers are right. Ha ha! I'd better get my trowel out and get ready to do a bit of gardening!

I couldn't possibly be a Prime Minister - you've got to have a high IQ so that's me out straight away.

I'd like to be an adviser to the Prime Minister, though - that would be a great job, wouldn't it? What was that programme...Yes Prime Minister - I thought that was very clever and very funny.

So what do you think of Ollie, Ron?

I wonder if it is like that? I can't imagine George Bush actually thinking about what he says that much. And when old Ronnie Reagan was in charge he was like an actor reading the part.

You'd like to think they do have an input somewhere along the line, though.

I'm sure they have, I'm sure they're allowed to make their own mind up about things - I can't imagine anyone telling Maragaret Thatcher what to do - Denis certainly didn't!

PUNTER'S QUESTION III

bigrenpafc: "Hi Ollie, i was just wondering, because you love the south of England and the Plymouth area so much, would you like to leave Leicester in order to be appointed the new manager of South Brent FC? The salary is two pints of blackthorn and a scotch egg after EVERY game."

That sounds a winner, that does. I'm not sure I like Scotch eggs that much, though. If it was a pork pie with a bit of pickle on it, I'd snap that up.

That's two jobs I've been offered - Prime Minister and South Brent manager. There might be one or two other things people think I should have a go at - they could send in their suggestions.

606: DEBATE Ask Ollie a question

If and when Milan makes his mind up and it goes the wrong way for me, what would they like me to do?

Isn't it amazing - we lose a couple of games and everyone's got Milan swinging the axe again!

Ian Holloway was talking to Chris Charles.