Holloway column

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The Leicester manager gives his inimitable views on football and life in general in his weekly column.

This week he talks about his frustration over the transfer window and 'racking and stacking'.

He also gives his views on the sacking of Big Sam and reveals why he was called 'Stinger' and whom he would trust with his wife naked!

BUSY IN THE TRANSFER MARKET?

I'd like to get even busier. The transfer window is crazy - it doesn't make sense. It's like your car breaking down in October and you can't go and repair it until January.

In the past if I've needed a player at any time I could have gone out there very calmly, rung a few clubs and got one. We're still playing games during that time, so we're risking injury to our players.

Now, when you ring up about someone in January, you find everybody else is in the hat for them.

I've been at Leicester seven weeks. We invested up to £2m in DJ Campbell and I haven't had him in any of those games that we've played. He hasn't been fit.

Thank God he trained Thursday morning - hallelujah! He was on the pitch, he had his boots on, I couldn't believe it.

I'll bring it back in January, sir

But how the hell are you supposed to know who's going to be injured? I mean what are we, clairvoyants as well?

You think that every week when someone says: "How are we going to get on today?"

That's the most-asked question ever of a supporter to a manager - "All right Ollie, how are we going to get on today?" - "Er, I don't know!"

STACKING AND RACKING

Who is this transfer window supposed to benefit, the young players? I heard Tony Cottee talking about that on the telly the other day and I was shouting: "What are you on about, Tone?!"

Because the talented young players have all been nicked and stacked and racked at the four best clubs in the land. Even Everton are getting in on the act. They bought young Danny Gosling from Plymouth and David Moyes said he was 'one for the future'.

So they buy them all and won't loan them out. They've all got massive squads - I think Man Utd have got 75 players - so how the hell are they ever going to play them all?

I've just had to get two Hungarians because I can't get the best English players - they're all tucked away at 15, 16. And when you've got a transfer window in place these clubs aren't going to loan them out.

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Arsene Wenger keeps his and bloods them in these other competitions, which is great, but then he's got another whole team of youngsters under that one that he won't loan out.

I should be able to borrow God knows who from somewhere else so they can play in the Championship instead of in the reserves and academy teams, which are holding them all back.

Dearie, dearie me, the whole thing's gone mad. Who's going to wake up one morning and say "Whoa, wait a minute, that is dramatically wrong, it's not working, so why don't we just go back to what they did in England before, which was fantastic?"

Welcome to the mad world! Caused by Fifa or Uefa or whoever it is - what an absolute joke.

BYE BYE BIG SAM

Oh yeah you can build a club from top to bottom in eight months, can't you?

They've judged Big Sam on what the first team are doing. It's the structure he was trying to put in place, like he did at Bolton, that really matters.

Having said that, he didn't really have the chemistry with the fans from the start, did he? It wasn't looking like a good marriage from day one.

His ego will be smarting but that man is a fantastic manager. What he did at Bolton was superb, I think he would have been superb at Newcastle, too, given time.

Wham bam thank you Sam

But how many times has he had Michael Owen available to him since he's been there? And should we really be judging him after a handful of games? What is going on?

The thing is, if you're on a dodgy wicket anyway with football fans on the telly screaming and shouting "You don't know what you're doing", then it all gets blown out of proportion. Plus the fact he wasn't the chairman's pick.

But for me he's still the same manager who was in the running to be England boss. What he did at Bolton was absolutely outstanding - and they have struggled like hell since he's been gone, no matter what Mr Gartside says.

WHO WOULD YOU LEAVE YOUR WIFE NAKED WITH?

David Beckham said this week he trusts Gary Neville so much he would leave him in a room with wife Victoria naked.

I'd probably leave my wife naked with my chief scout Gary Penrice - but he's the only one I would. That's how well I know him and it's great to have one real good mate.

To be fair, I don't think my wife would be naked with anybody anyway - she hardly ever gets naked with me! I don't blame her really, with a face like mine.

And I've nearly had a divorce because I'm speaking to Penrice more than I am to her. I actually forgot her birthday last Saturday, which is absolutely unforgivable.

Does Mrs H know about this?

She got up and made me a cup of tea in the morning and I said 'What date is it today?' and she said 'It's my birthday'. I thought it was the fifth and unfortunately it was the sixth so I was in deep, deep trouble.

I don't know if she's forgiven me yet - I can still see some burning embers of hatred.

PUNTER'S QUESTION

dazzlingTyke33: "Hi Ollie, I remember years ago going to watch QPR play Middlesbrough at their old Ayresome Park Ground. During the match, Gary Penrice was injured, came off and then tried to run the injury off on the sidelines. He failed, was substituted, and the following day was diagnosed with a broken leg. He's the only person I know who has tried to run off a broken leg!"

That was true. I missed that game and there's a little story to it.

We'd played Swindon on the Tuesday at home and won 3-0. I was giving Gary a lift home and he made stop because he wanted to get a chicken burger. I said I didn't want one but he was saying "no, we've gotta get one".

Anyway, I stopped and he came back with a burger for me and him, despite me telling him three times that I didn't want one. So I ate it and ended up with food poisoning.

Gary was laughing at me because I lost a stone in a week and he came round on the Friday before they travelled to Middlesbrough, laughing and joking.

He left me some grapes and was saying "You look like a nose with eyes, Ol!" because I'd lost so much weight.

On the Saturday, John Gittins missed the ball and volleyed Gary's leg and it turned out it was broken.

So on the Sunday morning I went round to his house, laughing, and brought him some grapes and said: "Who's the lucky one - I'm glad I ate that burger!"

PUNTER'S QUESTION II

Pressure_drop: "Just finished reading your autobiography, which I really enjoyed. I'm surprised you didn't mention your nickname at Wimbledon - 'Stinger' I believe? Care to enlighten us? I know it's true as your old mate Vaughan Jones told me!"

Stinger...yes, I didn't think there was anything funny about that. I'd only been at Wimbledon a week. We were having a game of head tennis - me, Glyn Hodges and Kevin Gage - and the ball went into nettles, as they called them.

Introducing John Stingers...

Hodgey went to run in there in his shorts to get it and I shouted: "Mind out for them stingers!" They literally started rolling on the floor laughing. They kept saying "what did you say?" and I said: "Stingers - watch out for them stingers!"

So I went in, got a bit of wood and got the ball out, looked round and they're still rolling on the floor laughing.

In Bristol we don't call them nettles, we call them stingers. But every time I see Dave Bassett, even now, he still says: "'Ello Stinger!" These Londoners, they're a bit different.

Ian Holloway was talking to Chris Charles.