No more gardening, thanks
The Plymouth manager gives his views on the week's events in football and beyond.
This week he talks about the sacking of Leicester's Martin Allen and pays tribute to Ray Jones.
Ollie also gives his verdict on Amy Winehouse, his MySpace impostor and the Dukes of Hazzard.
Many apologies to those of you hoping to listen to the audio. Unfortunately the proverbial Gremlins invaded our studio and the only bit that could be rescued was Ollie's attempt at a Cockney accent - which is well worth a listen, despite the crackles.
ON THE MEND
The kidney stones are still playing me up a bit but I've got some tablets and once you know what it is you can cope with it. Hopefully they'll be gone soon. I'm drinking lots of water and doing lots of exercise.
I've just been for breakfast at Jennycliff Cafe - scrambled egg and baked beans with a couple of pieces of bacon and the best view in the world. Then it'll be fruit until teatime.
MARTIN ALLEN SACKING
We've got Leicester on Saturday and they've sacked their manager, which was a bit of a strange state of affairs - especially after they'd just beaten Watford 4-1. That'll teach him!
The honeymoon's over
Let's hope everything is worked out financially. As far as I'm concerned there should be a rule that no football manager should ever be replaced without his own contract being sorted out first.
Maybe that would sort out these chairman who chuck you on gardening leave, which is totally unjust and unfair.
Our contracts aren't worth the paper they're written on but they would be if that rule was brought in.
MIXED BAG OF RESULTS
We were very unlucky to lose 3-2 at Barnsley. To be honest a fair reflection of the game would have been 4-3 to us. We dominated possession for large periods of the game but our defending was absolutely abysmal.
They exploited that - and fair play to them - but they had two shots in the first half and both of them went in! It was a good performance in the Cup, though, and great to be in the hat for the next round.
TRAGIC DEATH OF RAY JONES
He signed while I was still manager at QPR. He was a wonderful kid, irrespective of what he could do on a football pitch.
Ray Jones was tragically killed in a car crash
He was someone I would have been proud to call my son. He was very respectful, a wonderful lad with a brilliant smile.
The room lit up when he came into it, he was one of those people.
My heart bleeds for his parents. He's going to be sorely missed to the world, not just his mum and dad. The world was a better place with him in it.
BECKHAM BANNED BY CLUB FROM SURFING WITH GORDON RAMSAY
Players are not allowed to ride motorbikes or horses or go skiing - anything that puts your limbs in danger. It's all written into their contacts.
There's always been those rules in place - you've got to look after your body. I've never been skiing or ridden a motorbike.
I've ridden a horse but I'm rubbish at it. I look like a crab sat on a horse with my hunched back. I've got rounded shoulders so I'm in all sorts of trouble and the bloody horse seems to know it as well!
Many a time my wife's seen me in excruciating agony when I've gone down instead of going up - let's just say those bloody saddles are rather hard.
MY SPACE IMPOSTOR
Someone's got a whole website about me and they're claiming to be me. Apparently you can go somewhere to get on Ian Holloway's MySpace - which I haven't got.
People send in questions and somebody's answering them - but it's not me, it's an impostor. People are being duped - IT'S NOT MY SITE!
Ed: I typed your name into MySpace and the first thing that comes up is another, genuine, Ian Holloway aged 36 from California, who likes playing guitar, Smokey and the Bandit and the Dukes of Hazzard! There's a picture of him - he's got long hair and a beard!
He sounds like a long-lost relative - he must be because we've got so many things in common!
Just the good old boys
I used to have long hair, I've had a beard for years and I love the Dukes of Hazzard.
There was a woman in it who was quite well-endowed and two boys who used to get drunk and have a fight - it had everything for me.
And you had a car chase every week - I just wish they'd had a door that opened, though. That would have done my back in getting into that thing - especially with that hunched back of mine, I would have scraped it on the way in.
AMY WINEHOUSE'S FALL FROM GRACE
My heart goes out to her dad. You can be the best parent in the world but unfortunately your children can choose to rebel. You can't force them to do things they don't want to.
My wife heard her dad speak and she thought he was magnificent. All I will say is that I don't want him to give up on her because blood's thicker than water. You should always be there.
How do you solve a problem like Amy?
I'm never going to be judgemental against my kids. Whatever they do I'll be there and try to support them. I'll tell them what's right and what's wrong but we've all got freedom of choice.
Sometimes no matter what you say they'll do the opposite to try and spite you so my advice to him would be try and keep your pecker up, mate.
Confused Llama: "Hey Ollie, if you could pick any player from the Premier League to join your squad for free, who would it be?"
PUNTER'S QUESTION II
Battlinggreenmachine: "Hi Ollie, I'm an Argyle fan in exile, living in London. I live close to The Valley and was wondering whether you need somewhere to stay after beating Charlton in October."
Ha ha, no pressure then. So I'm gonna beat Charlton in October and then crash at battling green machine's pad afterwards, am I?
No I don't think I'll be needing anywhere to stay thanks, mate. It's not a bad town to stay over for the night though, Laandon.
Gaw blimey, luv a duck!
I can talk cock-er-nee.
'How's yer saucepans? Fancy going down the frog and toad for a pint of pig's ear down the old rubadub?
'All right mate how's the old trouble and strife? Lovely, triffic, lovely. Down the old frog and toad, laavly jubbly!'
Ian Holloway was talking to Chris Charles.