Beckham has enjoyed a wealth of hairstyles over the years
According to the learned Samuel Johnson, when a man is tired of London he is tired of life.
By that reckoning, David Beckham's journey was over at 16 when he hot-footed it out of the East End to Manchester, en route to a silly-money deal at LA Galaxy.
A lot has changed since shy-boy Becks was collecting glasses at Walthamstow dog track to earn a few bob towards his Panini stickers collection and the latest Abba long-player.
We take a look at how east London in the 1970s compares with modern-day Hollywood.
Then: Modest terraced house in Leytonstone where father, Ted, (no, not that one) still lives today.
Now: £11m luxury home in Beverly Hills with a swimming pool, fountain and no fewer than nine bathrooms. You can never have enough Loos, eh Dave?
Then: Light drizzle. Apart from that glorious summer of '76 when temperatures soared into the 90s, rubbish festered on the streets and you could fry an egg on the pavement, apparently.
Then: Flares, big collars and platforms - or bondage trousers, safety pins and DMs (depending on whether you were listening to Marmalade or The Jam).
Now: Anything that was once attached to the back of something endangered.
FOOD AND DRINK
Then: Pie and mash, jellied eels and Tizer.
Now: Supersize-me burgers and Cristal champagne for him/lettuce leaves and Diet Coke for her.
Then: Walthamstow dogs, a sing-song round the old Joanna and a punch-up after hours in the Blind Beggar.
Now: LA Lakers, disco-dancing in the Viper Rooms and rearranging bottles of Gatorade in the fridge so all the labels are facing the right way.
Then: Tiswas, Cheggers Plays Pop and The Sweeney (after creeping down the stairs to watch between the bannisters so you could impress your mates at school the next morning).
Now: A series of extended ad breaks, with snippets of Ugly Betty and Lost in between.
Then: Liverpool winning everything.
Now: LA Galaxy losing everything.
Then: Barbara Windsor, Michael Caine and Jan and Trevor from number 28 (everyone was called Jan and Trevor in the 70s).
Now: Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson, Robert de Niro, Paris Hilton... how long have you got?
Then: The Krays. Both doing a 30-stretch, but still carrying enough clout to ensure Londoners were able to leave their back doors unlocked at all times.
Now: Vinnie Jones - another London boy who made the journey across the pond to further his career and ended up going backwards. Take note, David.
MOST LIKELY TO HEAR PEOPLE SAY
Then: "Gaw blimey guvnor, I've just been all the way up them apples to get me whistle and I've only gorn and forgot me dickie dirt. Lend us a pony and I'll buy you half a napper tandy down the rub-a-dub."
Now: "So, David, what do you do again?"