You've Scot to be joking!

Will Scotland have the last laugh?

German fans are being encouraged to take the mickey out of their Scottish counterparts, ahead of the key Euro 2004 qualifier on Saturday.

Bild, Germany's biggest-selling newspaper, is offering 50 tickets to supporters who send in the best Scottish jokes.

And the publication is extremely confident of putting one over old boy Berti Vogts at Hampden Park.

"Rudi Voeller wants to blow away McBerti and his bagpipes," Bild has said.

"To give our team the best possible support, we have decided to send our 50 funniest fans to Scotland.

"Following McBerti's side's poor 1-1 draw against New Zealand we need be anything but afraid of Scotland!"

English fans will recall a similar line being being spun ahead of a certain clash in Munich a couple of years ago.

Which, when it backfired, turned out to be absolutely hilarious - as long as you weren't German or, er, Scottish.

So will the Scots be able to cope with their opponents' legendary sense of humour?

Judging by the sample joke below - sent in by Karsten von der Ohe to the newspaper - yes.

A Scotsman goes to the barber and asks what a haircut costs, and is told £6, he asks what a shave costs and is told £3, so he turns to the barber and says, good, please shave my head.

What price on Berti and his boys having the last laugh?