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By Sam Sheringham
When England set off for their tour of Australia, Prince William had yet to pop the question, Chelsea were five points clear at the\u00a0top of the league, Elton John was childless and there were still 56 shopping days till Christmas.
Yes, 100 days on, this marathon\u00a0tour is finally coming to an end with the seventh, and final, one-day international in Perth. With Australia leading the series 5-1, it\u2019s the deadest of dead rubbers, but any contest between these old foes is well worth staying up for in my opinion, and if it is anything like the last one, we could be in for a treat.
With Eoin Morgan England's latest casualty,\u00a0we reckon pretty much everyone who is\u00a0still fit is likely to play, with the\u00a0possible exception of James Tredwell, who\u00a0is proving a dab hand at carrying the drinks. Full team news and toss coming up, with TMS just going on air now.\u00a0
Australia won the toss and will bat first.
So, England have recalled Steven Davies, who will open the batting with Andrew Strauss. Matt Prior also plays, with Luke Wright and Liam Plunkett also coming in. Australia\u00a0make four changes, with Tim\u00a0Paine, Adam\u00a0Voges, Jason\u00a0Krejza and\u00a0Doug Bollinger coming in\u00a0for Michael Clarke, Shane Watson, Brett Lee and Steve Smith.
Some upbeat pre-World Cup chat from England team director Andy Flower: "The scoreline looks poor but in five of the six games we have been in\u00a0a very\u00a0strong position. We haven't been good enough to finish them off but in none of these games have we had anything like our strongest side available. My confidence is certianly not knocked by this result at all and I'm very much looking forward to the World Cup."
As ever, this commentary would be much dimished without your thoughts, hints and observations. So do get in touch by emailing us at tms@bbc.co.uk (with "For Sam Sheringham" in the subject line), or text us on 81111 (with "Cricket" as the first word, as we share the inbox with others). Or, you can tweet us using the hashtag #BBCCricket and we'll keep an eye out for the best comments.
Stephen Brenkley (from the Independent on Sunday) on TMS: "Morgan is a gifted one-day player who's got England out of the mire at least three times in the last 12 months with sparkling centuries. If he doesn't make the World Cup, my hunch is that they'd call up Ravi Bopara, who has the advantage that he can also bowl. And having flown halfway round the world, Liam Plunkett gets a game today in place of Chris Woakes, who took 6-45 two matches ago - I don't know if they felt a moral obligation to pick him after flying him out. I'd lay a small wager that the side representing England today will never take the field together again."
So Krejza makes his one-day debut and both teams have two wicketkeepers in their line-ups. Not sure who'll be behind the timbers for England. We'll let you know in a couple of ticks.
Here are those teams:
Australia: B J Haddin (Wkt), T D Paine, C J Ferguson, C L White (Capt), D J Hussey, A C Voges, M G Johnson, J W Hastings, J J Krejza, S W Tait, D E Bollinger.
England: A J Strauss (Capt), S M Davies, I J L Trott, K P Pietersen, I R Bell, M J Prior (Wkt), L J Wright, M H Yardy, L E Plunkett, J M Anderson, S T Finn.
From Carl Evans, France, TMS inbox: "Good morning Mr Sheringham (and the gang). I hope you are all well. I know it's early, but I'm so excited at the prospect of our boys showing those Aussies what-for, I couldn't sleep! Any chance of a 'shout out' for my wife, Christina, who will be in the land of nod for the next seven hours, but will feign interest as soon as a cuppa tea is made!"
Davies gets the nod as keeper. Tim Paine and Brad Haddin to open for the Aussies. Let battle commence...
Jimmy Anderson bowls the first over with a bit of a breeze to assist his swingers. The first ball is on the money but the second is a leg side wide and Paine clips the third to square leg for a single. Two balls later, Haddin gets a thick edge to an away-swinger but Michael Yardy puts it down! The Sussex man dives across from second slip and gets his hand to the ball but floors the chance. Need to take those. A let-off for Australia.
Plunkett is straight into the action and Haddin takes an easy run through midwicket before Paine tucks into a leg-stump half-volley and gets three. It's all a bit untidy from Plunkett as he bowls a pair of wides, but he straightens up with a couple of dots to see out the over.
"Liam Plunkett, who has flown in from the England Lions tour of the West Indies, played 27 one-day internationals between December 2005 and July 2007. But since then, his only international appearance was a solitary\u00a0ODI in Bangladesh in March 2010, when he took 0-12 from two overs and didn't bat.
"However, Douglas Cole on the emails is backing the Durham man to take a five-for or a hat-trick!"
Haddin goes aerial with a lofted drive to the cover boundary. The opener fins the middle of the bat twice more in the over but Strauss has his men in the right places. Apparently the Perth natives are\u00a0angry that Australia have rested so many of their stars\u00a0for this match, which is the last international of their summer.
Paine is rapped on the pads by Plunkers but England's appeal is turned down. Strauss sends it for review and it's pretty clear that the ball would have cannoned into middle stump, even though Paine was a long way\u00a0down the pitch.\u00a0Umpire Paul Reiffel chats to third umpire Marais Erasmus and after\u00a0what seems like a decade,\u00a0Reiffel\u00a0pulls the trigger. And he's gone!\u00a0
The new batsman is Callum Ferguson and he gets off the mark with a neat tuck around the corner for\u00a0a single.
From Jamesthomas2009: "With the rise of 20:20 and the rightly traditional place of Tests as the pinnacle is there really a place anymore for ODIs?"
That's a very nice over from Anderson, with Australia only mustering a leg bye from it. Carrying on the theme of James Thomas's tweet, Andrew Strauss has had some interesting words to say in the one-day/Twenty20 debate. Incidentally Strauss is off the pitch at the mo - Tredwell on as sub.
That's not a bad ball from Plunkett but Ferguson reads it perfectly and flicks it through square leg for his first boundary. Fergie, who averages 46 from 28 one-dayers, gets a single off the last ball to keep the strike.
From Genghis, Cambridge, TMS inbox: "I wagered that Inter Milan would beat Bari, Man City would beat WBA and Barca would beat Atletico by more than 2.5 goals apiece. I've stuck the not insubstiantial winnings on the Aussies to take this last ODI and retrieve some sense of pride."
Anderson has settled into a nice rhythm here and delivers another economical over with just two coming from it. Stevie Finn is going to replace Plunkett.
Finn drops a touch short and Ferguson steps back and cuts hard to the fence. Finn's pace increases as the over goes on but the fifth ball is a half-volley and Ferguson helps himself to another boundary. Nine from the over.
From Martin Cee, London: "Through being freelance & juggling deadlines I've managed to listen to every single minute of TMS since the tour began. What on earth am i now going to do in the middle of the night?!"
Don't worry Martin, the World Cup starts in two weeks
Anderson is proving very effective at cramping Haddin's style but the opener eventually gets him away for a single. Ferguson tries to fend away a rising delivery from Anderson but the ball catches the shoulder of his bat and Strauss takes a sharp catch above his head at slip. Great bowling from Jimmy A!
Haddin is still struggling to get the ball past the infield and has to make do with a single to mid-on. Cameron White, captaining Australia for the first time in an ODI, sees out the rest of the over in watchful mode. Finn is right up around the 90mph mark and bowling straight and full.
From R Quayle, TMS inbox: "After his exploits for South Australia in the Big Bash, for how much longer will the English selectors continue to ignore Adil Rashid's claims?"
England take their bowling power play straight away and Haddin takes full advantage by creaming Anderson over his head for six. The ball gets caught on the roof of one of the stands but a resourceful England fan dislodges it by chucking what looks like a bag onto the underside of the canvas. Huge cheers as he catches the ball on the way down too! Haddin hooks a short ball but Trott scampers round and keeps them to a single. White gets off the mark with a run to square leg.
Good to see Finny\u00a0bowling fast and straight as he delivers a textbook maiden. The short ball is well disguised and has White on his toes, fending awkwardly away from his body. These Aussies really don't like the short stuff you know - perhaps an indication of why the likes of Ferguson and White don't make the Test team.
"There's another ODI which has\u00a0just started over at the Sinhalese Sports Club in Colombo, where Sri Lanka and West Indies are playing the final game of their three-match series (Sri Lanka lead 1-0) which was postponed from December because of persistent rain. Windies skipper Darren Sammy won the toss, asked the hosts to bat first and has just bowled a maiden to Tillakaratne Dilshan - no mean feat. Sri Lanka are 27-0 in the fifth over, we'll keep you posted."
This is really good from England as another over goes for just three runs. This time it is Plunkett, showing no signs of jet-lag after his round-the-world trip from the Caribbean, who is right on the mark.
From Stephen: "Re: jamesthomas2009 [5th over],\u00a0yes there is a place for ODIs. Twenty20 cricket just isn't cricket."
Haddin is very lucky boy as his gets himself in a total pickle trying to work one to leg. The ball catches the face of the bat and flies into the air but lands safely. Finn gives White a bit of width and he cuts over the slips\u00a0to third man for a welcome boundary from Australia's point of view.
Haddin has a wild swipe at Plunkers but the ball evades his flashing blade. Ooh, and that's lucky again as he mis-times a pull shot and the ball balloons into the air but again lands safely short of mid-on. Plunkett thuds one into White's pads and Strauss sends it to the third ump, but it's a wasted review because there was a thick inside edge on that one. Time for a drink.
From Anirban Mukherjee, TMS inbox: "I happen to agree with James [5th over]. There is not much value of ODIs right now. The middle overs are painstaking. Nevertheless\u00a0I am a cricket crazy man. Serve me anything and\u00a0I will love it."
You've come to the right place then!
Finn beats White with a beauty and the ball gets a nick but Davies floors a diffcult catch. Oh, hang on, that actually clipped the pad so we'll let Davies off. Here's a debating point, if Eoin Morgan is out of the World Cup, who should replace him? Ravi Bopara?
It's Plunkett to continue and it's a better over for the Aussies with some good running mixed in with a couple of wides. Just wondering when Strauss is going to introduce a fourth bowler here. Apart from Yardy the spinner, the options are Luke Wright, Jonathan Trott and Kevin Pietersen.
From Kevin Mills in Hants, TMS inbox: "What's the good thing about having too many green chillies in your Chinese takeaway? Answer; You wake up for the cricket without an alarm clock\u00a0and don't get in trouble with 'her indoors'! Morning cricket lovers."
It's a single apiece for White and Haddin, who still looks a bit out of sorts as he slashes and misses one outside off stump. Meanwhile, Simon Mann on TMS says the reason Davies has the gloves is because Prior is the better outfielder.
Luke Wright is into the attack with England looking to continue their good work with the ball. The Sussex man bustles in and delivers a decent over, with just a wide and three singles to blot his copy book.
Michael Yardy is brought into the attack and the change does the trick for England! Haddin, who has been bogged down for far too long, goes after him\u00a0and hits one high and straight. Steve Finn takes the catch\u00a0and, with his momementum taking him over\u00a0boundary, very cleverly throws the ball into the air before trotting back\u00a0onto the field to take the\u00a0catch. Great work from England's beanpole.\u00a0
From Martin, Petersfield, TMS inbox: "Hi Sam, I understand Hot Spot will not be part of the Umpire Decision Review System during the World Cup, leaving Hawk-Eye, a super slow-mo camera and a stump microphone - could make for some 'dodgy'calls, what do you think?"
This story on Cricinfo today may explain more on that issue...
Haddin never really got going with that innings you know, taking 58 balls to score 27. \u00a0David Hussey looks to be seeing it a bit better though as he carves Wright to cow corner. The next ball is full and Hussey drives straight back at the bowler, who gets both hands to the ball but can't hold on. That was a tough chance but I've seen them taken.
Australia are really plodding along here withe just seven boundaries in the first 22 overs. Hussey almost makes it eight but Plunkett saves four by sprawling himself full length at square leg. It's a slightly better over from Australia though, with six runs coming from it.
Now I may be being a bit hard on Luke Wright by deploying the 'Dropped Catch' icon again here but hey, that's how I roll.\u00a0The all-rounder gets his fingertips to another uppish drive from Hussey and the Austrailian pair take a single. All of England's\u00a0bowlers have been very effective in denying the Australians width.\u00a0
David Hussey makes room for himself and hoists a short Yardy deliery for a huge six over mid-on.\u00a0Is that a sign of a new approach?\u00a0That\u00a0takes the Australia run rate past four-an-over.
White\u00a0takes Australia past the 100 mark with a pull over midwicket for two and dabs\u00a0an easy single away on the leg\u00a0side.\u00a0 Ooh, that's a repreive for Hussey as he pushes one away on the offside and sets off for a single before changing his mind. Bell shies but misses the stumps - that would have been out by some distance.
White charges down the wicket to Yardy but doesn't quite pull off the shot and the bowler reaches to his left and clings on to a sharp caught-and-bowled chance. Australia are four down...
Adam Voges defends the last four balls of the over and Yardy trotts away like the cat who got the cream. He has 2-18 from four.
Hussey seems to be the one Australian who has the measure of this pitch as he guides Plunkett down to the rope at third man before rocking back and cutting for another four. The next ball is short and wide again but Hussey cuts straight to deep point and they take a single. Voges is off the mark in fortunate fashion as an edge flashes just wide of Ian Bell at point. Key phase of the innings this.
Lovely timing from Voges with a late cut for three\u00a0and the 31-year-old, on his home ground, turns the last ball of the over round the corner for four.
From Simon, TMS inbox: "Re: Martin and the use of technology [21st over] - I think it has been a massive plus for the modern game and hope that all teams/the ICC vote to implement the DRS ASAP. By the way, even though it\u2019s a dead rubber, England\u2019ll cruise this one."
Hussey pulls one in the air but it's safe and the scoreboard is ticking over now.\u00a0Plunkett lands one too short and it's given as a wide. But the bowler comes back well and Voges can only prod the final ball of the over straight back to him.
There's a nice little partnership developing here for the Australians, with these two showing good understanding on their home ground. Hussey steers a full ball past cover and they run hard to turn one into two. Trott is coming on.
Trottster strays onto leg stump and that is meat and drink for Voges as he clips one through midwicket. Pietersen looks a little sheepish in his running and the ball beats him to the fence. Another ball clips Hussey's pad and races past Davies for four leg byes. Australia take 12 from the over.
"In the other ODI in\u00a0Colombo, Sri Lanka are just\u00a0over half-way through their innings - they're\u00a0126-2 from 27 overs, their run-rate a fraction under Australia's.\u00a0Home skipper Kumar Sangakkara doesn't seem to be in a tearing hurry, he has 31 from 56 balls and has only hit one four."
From Anoymous: "Before we start thinking England are doing good containing job we should remember the Test match at Perth. It was relatively low scoring. Let's hope England do a better job chasing than they have recently!"
More good running from the local pair as Voges gets a pair of twos. A couple of singles mean it's another good over for the hosts. With our anonymous texter reminding me of the Perth Test, I wonder whether Mitchell Johnson will have an equally devastating impact with the ball today.\u00a0
That is poor from Wright as he drags one down the leg side. England need a wicket and cannot afford to allow sloppiness to enter their play. A straighter ball tempts Hussey into a drive and the batsman gets lucky as an inside edge fizzes past the stumps and Davies' outstretched glove for four more.
Yardy continues and Hussey pulls off another fine stroke with a cover drive to the boundary from the first ball of the over. Hussey then brings up his fifty from 44 balls with a gentle single on the leg side.
The runs are flowing here as Wright struggles for consistency and Voges makes hay with a lob over midwicket for two and a cut for three. More slack work in the field as well as an overthrow allows Australia to add another run.
From Alan, California, TMS inbox: "Simon [over 29], surely this one-day series has taught you that England will now let Hussey make a century thanks to support from the tail-enders and then be bowled out for around 200 after mucking up their chase and taking the batting powerplay when Anderson and Finn are at the crease. I'm sure it's all a cunning plan before the World Cup though..."
Ever the optimist, Alan...
Steven Finn\u00a0is back\u00a0as Strauss turns to pace and bounce in a bid to\u00a0break this partnership. But it's more of the same as Voges unleashes a delicious late cut to the rope. Two singles follow and Australia look set for a healthy total here.
Wright continues to shuffle his way to the crease for his seventh over but these batsmen have the measure of the Sussex man. They are happy to deal in ones and twos as five runs come from the over.
Finn strays wide of off stump and Voges is onto it in a flash with another immaculate square cut for four. England's bowlers are undoing much of their good work from early in the innings here, Finn underlining that with the 11th wide of the innings.
Wright is into his eighth over now and his line is a bit tidier here as the Aussie pair are restricted to three singles from the over. This is only the fourth time Wright has bowled eight overs or more in his 44 ODIs. By the way, don't forget that if you want to get in touch, you can email or text in the usual ways but you can also tweet us via the hashtag #BBCCricket.
Plunkett's back and that'll do nicely for England! Hussey looks to work the ball to leg but his timing is slightly off and the ball catches the leading edge of his bat. Ian Bell scampers in from point and dives forward to take a fine catch.
England will be delighted to have broken that 95-run partnership. New batsman\u00a0Mitchell Johnson gets off the mark with a pacy single\u00a0before Voges\u00a0has to sprint to\u00a0avoid getting run out by Bell.\u00a0Johnson\u00a0rounds off the over with a clever nudge for two.
This has been a cracking little knock from Voges and he\u00a0brings up a well-deserved fifty with a tickle behind\u00a0square for a single. Johnson gets a\u00a0run from the last ball to keep the strike.\u00a0
Plunkett bowls his last over and it's a good'un, with only four coming from it. The Durham man can be very content with his return of 2-49 on his return to the side.
From guestt1960 via #BBCCricket: "Looks like we are going to need a miracle. Come on Pietersen, it's time he lived up to the reputation he hasn't justified lately."
I don't think I've ever seen an innings with this many caught-and-bowled chances! This time Mitchell Johnson doesn't really follow through with his shot and the ball flies to Anderson's left. The bowler dives but can't hold on with his outstretched left hand. Johnson goes full throttle at another ball but Yardy saves a four with a brilliant piece of fielding on the boundary.
Yardy rattles off another tidy over, with just four runs coming from it. With six overs of the innings remaining, Australia opt to take their last batting powerplay.
Johnson is swinging from the hip now and a leg-sided hoik makes its way to the square-leg boundary. The batsmen take a single apiece before Johnson takes on Prior's throw and makes it home for a second run from the fifth ball.
Yardy ambles in for his last over but his line is wayward and two of the first three balls are wides. Then Johnson gets hold of a straighter one and lofts it over midwicket for a one-bounce four. Australia are on course for a total well in excess of 250.
Taxi for Stevie Finn! Johnson spoons the ball high into the Perth sky and Finn is underneath it, but seems to lose the ball in the sunlight and spills the chance. But England's pain is short-lived as two balls later Johnson is brilliantly caught on the boundary by a diving Matt Prior. Voges then\u00a0clips\u00a0the last ball of the over through midwicket for two handy runs.
Finn serves up more gifts to the Australians in the form of the 14th and 15th wides of the innings. John Wayne (Hastings)\u00a0gets off the mark with a cut for a single before Voges pushes down the ground to keep things ticking over. Finn is a little off line again and Hastings makes him pay by turning the ball round the corner for a boundary.
Voges opts for placement over power as he picks up two from each of the first two balls to equal his highest ODI score of 72. A wide and a single give Hastings the strike but he is a little cramped by a short ball from Anderson and prods a very straightforward to Luke Wright in the covers.
That's sloppy again from England as a week throw allows Voges to get through for two. The new batsman is Jason Krejza on his ODI debut - he will be on strike for the last over. Anderson finishes with a fine 3-48 from his 10 overs.
Come on Finny lad... that's not the game! The England paceman begins the last over with another two wides before Voges turns one into two with some more\u00a0energetic running. Krejza swings and misses at a straight one from Finn but makes no mistake as he cuts the next ball for two. The Aussie duo scurry two more from each of the last two deliveries as Australia finish on 279-7 from their 50 overs.
From\u00a0Esky:\u00a0"30 extras, it's so undisciplined and a reason we struggle, you can't afford to just give away runs that easily."
So England will be chasing 280 to win the final one-dayer in Perth. We'll be back in about 20 minutes for their innings. In the meantime, you can listen to Simon Mann and the journalists' panel on TMS.
"In that other ODI in Colombo, Sri Lanka's score was remarkably close to Australia's - they made 277-9 from their 50 overs - mainly thanks to skipper Kumar Sangakkara (75), Mahela Jayawardene (44) and some late fireworks by Angelo Mahews (36 not out from 28 balls). Left-arm spinner Sulieman Benn took 4-38 for the Windies."
From Alex, TMS Inbox: "England had the Aussies in deep trouble, the captain muddled through the middle overs and used nothing bowlers. He kept four overs apiece in hand for the death bowlers, had he used his bowlers better then England might have got the extra couple of wickets when it mattered and be facing a total of more like maybe 220-240 and not 280."
Dear oh dear, that is a miserable start for England and their captain Andrew Strauss. From the second ball of the innings he is beaten for pace by Shaun Tait and the ball shatters into his off stump
Strauss was leaving that ball until the very last moment when he realised it was heading for his off stump. His eventual prod was too little, too late. Jonathan "Mr Consistency" Trott is at the crease now and once again England need him to deliver. Shaun "Mr Inconsistency" Tait shows the other side of his character with a pair of horrible wides and Trott gets off the mark with a steer past point.
From joshbosh2012 via #BBCCricket: "Why give Davies the gloves if Prior is going to keep in the World Cup, assuming Morgan returns?"
We could be in for an early bath here folks. Doug "The Rug" Bollinger gets the batsmen thinking with some nice away swing. But it is a straight delivery, banged into the pitch, that proves Davies' undoing. The batsman is late on the shot and only succeeds in flinging it right up into the air, leaving Haddin with the easiest of catches.
"I get the impression here that England want to go home."
So just a reminder that England need 280 to win the seventh one-dayer. And there's a big difference between losing 6-1 and 5-2 isn't there folks? Tait is doing his best to help them out as he slings down another three wides. They might have to rewrite that Mitchell Johnson song for the Taitster.
From James, New Orleans, TMS inbox: "Sorry, I'm confused. Why, exactly, is England's best batsman at home twiddling his thumbs? Not one player in this whole wretched one-day series has played half as well as Cookie."
Is it the infamous "Fremantle Doctor" breeze that is causing the pacemen from bothe sides to bowl so many wides I ask myself as Dougie B fires down another one from the first ball of the fourth over. There's a run apiece for Trott and KP but the batsmen are under the cosh in the Perth sunshine here.
Trott clips through midwicket for three before Pietersen shows some signs of aggresion with an\u00a0uppish drive which comes of the toe-end of earns him two runs. Tait responds with two more wides before putting one right in the slot for KP, who cuts it to the fence. The last ball is a leg-stump half-volley and again KP gives it the treatment it deserved. 17 runs from the over and England are up and running.
Bollinger steadies the ship with a tidy over, as England settle for ones and twos. Mitchell Johnson is coming on for Tait.
So can Johnson reproduce his magic from the Perth Test, when his devastating burst of\u00a0\u00a06-38 set the Ashes series alight? \u00a0There is no obvious sign of swing in his first over but the line is good until the fifth ball as Trott leads into a drive and gets four.\u00a0Trott\u00a0wants a single from the last balll but Pietersen sends him back and Trott would have been out if\u00a0Tim Paine's throw had hit the stumps.\u00a0
From Stu in Oz, TMS inbox: "Whatever the outcome today, let's all remember what the boys and all the staff have achieved on this tour! I'm a a proud Englishman living in Perth but the smile has been on my face since 'the retaining' at the MCG!"
Bollinger drops one short and Pietersen is all over it like a rash, pulling the ball high over midwicket for a one-bounce four. \u00a0Dougie follows up with three dots before KP clips to mid-on for a single and Trott does likewise to keep the strike.
Johnson is doing his best to tempt Pietersen outside off stump and the batsman has a nibble but avoids edging it. KP runs a single to mid-off to give Trott the strike, and that is out! Trott can't resist a prod at a ball angled across him and a routine edge carries comfortably to David Hussey at slip.
Can't help feeling England need a big partnership from this pair if they are to have any chance here. It's a long tail with Prior in next. Bell gets off the mark with a controlled pull for a single off Bolly and carves his first boundary with a trademark square cut. Right, I'm going to take a little breather and leave you in the supremely capable hands of Mark Mitchener.
Thanks, Sam - I'll try to see England through the fielding powerplay without too many mishaps. Johnson has a man in at silly mid-off for Pietersen, who overbalances as he stretches out to chase a wide one but doesn't connect. (That's 10 wides up for Australia, compared to England's 19. I hope they get a jolly big over-rate fine). And KP falls as he swings at another wide one and that's straight to backward point. Never mind me, they ought to get Private Frazer\u00a0from Dad's Army in to do this text commentary, he'd be more optimistic for England's chances\u00a0than me or Sam... we're doooomed I tell thee...
With England's XI today comprised of five batsmen, then three Sussex players, then three bowlers, we're into the Sussex players. Matt Prior - freed from his wicketkeeping gauntlets to take a superb catch in the deep today - survives his first ball.
Every morning at the mine you could see him arrive, it's Big John... the lumbering John Wayne Hastings into the attack, a white towel flapping out of the back of his trousers, and Bell tickles a single to third man. Australia have young Western Australia batsman Luke Towers (hey, he's played for Hampshire 2nd XI so he can't be that bad) on as a substitute fielder for Doug Bollinger. ("Perhaps he's gone off to dry his rug out," quips an Aussie ABC commentator on TMS). Single from Prior, England are hanging on.
Johnson has a slip and a short extra cover in, but Prior clips a single to square leg when the dark-haired left-armer slings one down the leg side. Umpire Paul Reiffel spreads his arms for the umpteenth time today as Johnson fires in an off-side wide which barely hits the return crease, then he gets lucky with a short one down the leg side which isn't called wide but could have been. (Fans may remember the Barmy Army song explaining how Johnson "bowls to the left" and "bowls to the right",\u00a0and that's the printable bit). Perhaps Umpire Reiffel needs to quench his thirst... he calls for a drinks break at the end of the over.
From Rowan Price, TMS Inbox: "At this rate extras will score second best in the batting order. We can hardly fine the Aussie over rate when we are wasting so much time walking in with new batters instead of getting on with the job."
Don't forget you can watch the Super Bowl on the BBC tonight, but for now Hastings is Australia's "man in motion" after the drinks break as Prior and Bell help themselves to some ones and twos, before Bell hooks a short ball but it's straight to the mid-wicket sweeper (on the bounce) and they can only run one.
Short and wide from Johnson, Bell cuts and that's catching practice for third man... never mind the Super Bowl, we'll be home and hosed in time for the Archers omnibus at this rate.
Tellingly, Michael Yardy is the new batsman - England must think he's more likely to dig them out of a hole at 64-5 than his Sussex team-mate Luke Wright. (But isn't the first rule of holes to stop digging?) They crossed on the catch, so it's Prior on strike and he's swinging and missing at Johnson, whose tail is most definitely up - he's playing on his home ground after all. Prior ruins a potential wicket maiden by dabbing the last ball of the over to third man for a single, and after contributing nine runs and two wickets during my powerplay stint, I'll hand you back to Sam Sheringham for the rest of the game.
Thanks Mitch. I keep wanting to say that this feels very "After the Lord Mayor's Show" but the Lord Mayor's Show\u00a0(ie the Ashes)\u00a0seems such a long time ago now\u00a0that this feels less of a postscript to that glorious event and\u00a0more\u00a0like an\u00a0interminable nightmare for England. Someone get these\u00a0boys a flight home! Yardy gets off the mark with a\u00a0nurdle for one.\u00a0
From guesty1960 via #BBCCricket: "I'm off to bed, can't watch any more of this, it's embarrassing."
Scattergun Tait is being given another crack of the whip - a chance to bowl himself into form with very little to lose perhaps? Prior and Yardy begin the rebuilding act with a couple of singles each.
Yardy has a lazy swipe and gets nowhere near\u00a0a Hastings ball that angles across him. Both of these batsmen could do with some runs because their places in England's World Cup line-up is pretty much nailed-on.
From DiscoStew1 via #BBCCricket: "Come on boys, if Newcastle can do it so can you!"
Prior gets on to the front foot and creams Tait through the covers for four - that's the shot of the innings so far, but in truth there haven't been many contenders! "There will be a fair few England fans not enjoying their bacon and eggs on a Sunday morning today," says former Australia spinner Brad Hogg on TMS. I think he might be right.
Debutant Jason "Krazy" Krejza enters the fray with his right-arm off-breaks and Prior paddles one skilfully over his shoulder for a couple. Krejza has played two Test matches for Australia and recorded the following figures from four innings: 8-215, 4-143, 1-102, 0-102. His first over in one-day cricket goes for six runs.
Prior plays and misses well outside off stump and the Aussies appeal en masse. Paul Reiffel gives it not out but the Aussies send it for review, only for Hotspot to vindicate the umpire's decision. Not sure about reviews in one-day cricket. They slow the pace of the game down. Yardy gets himself between stumps and ball to avoid getting run out and Prior gets himself a boundary off an inside edge.
Prior unfurls a perfect reverse sweep to dispatch the first ball of the over for four and cracks a couple more through the covers as a Mexican wave starts to ripple round the WACA. TV cameras are fascinated by an England supporter\u00a0wearing a horse's head mask.\u00a0He's not the only England fan with a long face today...
From Ade: "Any chance of a declaration to spare this horrific one-day batting any more suffering? And while we're at it, do we actually HAVE TO enter the World Cup?"
Hastings shuffles in once more and runs through a neat and tidy over. Yardy gets away with one as he top edges a hook but the ball falls short of Johnson at fine leg.
Oooh, that could have been painful, as the grill of Prior's helmet saves him from a bruising encounter with the match ball after a poorly-executed reverse sweep. A couple more singles take the partnership to fifty but England are well behind the required run rate with only five wickets in hand.
Ones and twos again for England but Yardy and Prior need to start pushing the on soon, or it will be a slow and painful death.
Krejza gets his first ODI wickets as Prior drives uppishly to cover where Hussey dives to his right and snaffles the catch.
From Steve Humphrey, TMS inbox: "I am not watching the game, but I can guess I know who the horse's head guy is. He is a mate of a mate and I spent time with him in the crowd and in the pub at the 2nd Test in Adelaide. He wore the horses head and a sports jacket and bow tie ALL DAY in 37C heat, drinking beer through a straw. Legend amongst men."
Luke Wright - not the most popular England cricketer if your emails, texts and tweets are anything to go by - is the new man in and he takes advantage of some utter dross from Krejza to slam consecutive fours. That over sums Krejza up really - one wicket, but 11 runs.
From retrogirl via #BBCCricket: "Does anyone know what the ODI trophy looks like? No? Exactly. Urns forever."
Wright is\u00a0having a field day here, lapping up an over-pitched delivery from Tait to notch his third boundary. Forget what I said about Tait bowling himself into form! The paceman really has outdone himself here with a no-ball, which is also a wide, and is also hit for four by Luke Wright! That gives Wright a free hit, but he doesn't get hold of it and it's just a\u00a0couple off the toe-end of the bat. It's not over yet folks, England actually have 28 more runs than Australia had at this stage, but the Aussies had\u00a0only lost four wickets.\u00a0
"Over in Colombo, West Indies are halfway through their run chase against Sri Lanka, needing 278 to win. Another similarity with Australia-England is that the side batting second lost both openers without scoring - Chris Gayle was bowled first ball of the innings by Dilhara Fernando. But Darren Bravo and Ramnaresh Sarwan then\u00a0added 125 for the third wicket - Windies are 128-3 in the 26th over."
Krejza is still dropping a touch short and Wright and Yardy help themselves to singles off the first four balls of the over. The last two are full and Yardy is forced onto the defensive.
David Hussey is giving it a twirl now and he's treated with respect by Messrs Yardy and Wright. The highlight of the over is a late cut from Wright which picks up two runs back of square.
Night Night Wright! That's a very ugly slice from England's number eight and Dougie Bollinger springs forwards to snare a low catch. Liam Plunkett is the new batsman and he does well to keep out a nicely flighted delivery from Krejza. Think we're into the end game now.
Mitchell Johnson is brought into the attack to apply the sucker punch and he very nearly delivers as Yardy plays around a full, straight delivery but the umpire rejects the appeal. The Aussies choose not to review the decision but that looked very close. Michael Yardy, this is your time.\u00a0
Krejza continues to probe away - he gives the ball a fair ol' tweak you know. This is the stage of the innings where Australia really began to accelerate with Messrs Hussey and Voges to the fore. Four runs off the over.
Johnson rips\u00a0one past Plunkett's outside edge - that's an absolute snorter from the left-arm paceman. A single apiece gives Plunkett the strike again and he's given out by Reiffel caught behind! Plunkers looks disgusted by that decision and sends it for review straight away.\u00a0The replay shows the ball clipped pad not bat and, after\u00a0a delay of at least three minutes, we finally get the right decsion. They have to find\u00a0a way of speeding up this review process or the World Cup will last even longer than six weeks!!\u00a0
On Twitter: "Tim Bresnan is on BBC Radio 5 live - says he's back running at the mo, moving up to bowling next week."
Krejza rattles through his over in about 1/4 of the time it took to review that decision. Yardy helps himself to two singles and Plunkett takes one, with another wide thrown in for good measure.
It is spin from both ends as David Hussey is given another crack. Yardy chops to deep point for a couple.
Woah boy! Plunkett lets rip at Krejza and slugs one high over long-on for six. The Durham man tries to sweep on the leg side and the ball goes high into the air but lands safely between two fielders. Krejza has one over left.
The lesser-known Huss continues to tweak away and I'm a little surprised that neither England batsman has really had a go at his bowling yet. A few more singles take the partnership to 29 off 45 balls but the run rate is creeping well over seven per over now.
From Neville Bartoss, TMS inbox:\u00a0"I can\u2019t believe the ignorance of some towards ODIs. It\u2019s a form of cricket England are yet to climb the ladder in. Leading into the World Cup, if England are to challenge at all it would be wise to show the game more respect. It should be worrying to see the lack of depth in the English team in this series after a successful Test campaign. Despite injuries, fatigue or whatever excuse, Australia have had injuries, been able to rest players, and still produce a win."
Hastings is back and Plunkett executes a classy dab past first slip for two. Yardy is completely deceived by a change of pace but his aerial chip falls to safety and they run two. Are England going to have a go or is this just going to drift to a miserable defeat?
Hussey continues to thread together a tidy little spell as the run rate required creeps above eight. Plunkett finds the middle of the bat but can't beat the infield until the last ball of the over, which he hoiks to deep midwicket for two.
Hooray - England have actually remembered to take their batting powerplay before the game is truly gone! Yardy takes a step back and heaves Bollinger over cover for four but attempts a suicidal run off the next ball and Plunkett gets lucky as Cameron White's throw misses. Yardy collects another boundary by helping the ball on its way past third man and take England past 200 with a couple. That's much better from England - 10 from the over.
From BunkWinton via #BBCCricket: "So what have we learnt today? That Mitchell Johnson really can only bowl at Perth."
Plunkett can't get a run from the first two balls of Tait's over and the frustration shows as he drives aggressively at a full delivery and is caught behind.
Steve Finn is promoted above Jimmy Anderson, probably on the strength of his 35 not out in the fifth one-dayer in Brisbane. But there is to be no repeat of those heroics in Perth as\u00a0a brilliant yorker from Tait takes out his leg stump.\u00a0
Bollinger scents blood here but it's nearly his claret that is spilling all over the oufield as Yardy\u00a0almost takes the bowlers head off with a lusty drive down the ground. Yardy tickles one down past fine leg for four to bring up his fifty before hoisting a six over deep square leg. England need 65 from 48. Can Jimmy hang around to make it interesting?
Yardy, who now has his highest one-day international score, takes a single to give Anderson the strike to Tait, but once again the Aussie paceman can't get his line right as he slings down the 19th wide of the innings (the same as total as England).
Anderson rocks back and cuts for four but his attempt to repeat the stroke off the next ball proves his undoing as he chops into the air and is caught by Haddin. It's all over. AUSTRALIA WIN BY 57 RUNS AND WIN THE SERIES 6-1!
"A last update from the other ODI in Colombo - and it's certainly shaping up to be a closer finish than in Perth. Chasing 278 to win, West Indies are 219-7 in the 43rd over. This is the last full ODI before the World Cup (which starts on 19 February) - warm-up matches for the World Cup begin next Saturday."
So England are bowled out for 222 and frankly that was another very mediocre performance. The Andys -\u00a0Flower and Strauss -\u00a0have a fair bit of thinking to do as they work out England's tactics for the World Cup. If Morgan, Bresnan, Swann and Broad are all fit, England can still put out a strong side but there are still too many players failing to produce the goods with any consistency. Australia, with Ponting and Mike Hussey to slot back in, look very strong in all departments, with the possible exception of spin.
From Chris Megone, TMS Inbox: "The extraordinary decision to replace Davies with Prior after giving Davies just one match has proved a total failure. Prior has managed one decent knock on an absolutely flat pitch, but otherwise virtually nothing."
\u00a0
From Rachel Tyrrell, Lincoln, TMS Inbox: "In response to Neville\u2019s comment\u00a0 [over 37], surely winning an Ashes series in Australia \u2013 which included three innings defeats \u2013 is the hardest thing to do in cricket. England achieved this, in some style, which was surely the primary focus of the trip. To then dominate the ODIs in the same way, with seven matches strung out over such a long period of time, would be beyond any team."
England captain Andrew Strauss: "All credit to Australia, we are thoroughly outplayed after seven matches but we've had a great time out here, winning the Ashes, and we've been made to feel very welcome. The World Cup is a big event in very different conditions and we are still confident we can do well."
Australia captain Cameron White: "There are still some areas of our game we need to improve on but we're feeling pretty good going into the World Cup. We are playing pretty well but in a tournament like that we will have to find another gear."
That's it from me folks, and that rounds off our coverage of England's 100-day tour of Australia. Worry not though, we'll be back on 19 February for the start of the World Cup, so look out for live text commentary of the opening game between India and Bangladesh and many, many more thereafter. Until then, from me and the rest of the BBC Cricket team, it's\u00a0goodbye.
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