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By Mark Mitchener
So, in 20 minutes time day three will resume at the Waca, with England in a poor position I'm afraid. Australia will be building on their 200-run lead, with seven second innings wickets in hand. Wickets are urgently needed!
On Twitter: "Anderson and High Tower should start.. Top of off with the odd sharp bumper..."
I think High Tower is Tremlett?
With Test Match Special commentary under way right now for UK users, it goes without saying that it's another beautiful morning on the western coast of Australia. Mike Hussey will be on strike when England get the ball in their hands. He's on 24 off just 28 balls, while Shane Watson is unbeaten on 61. Both played very well late on day two.
Anonymous: "The one plus side to this Test match so far is that Mitchell Johnson will once again return to being an awful bowler as soon as he leaves the Waca."
In the interests of being entirely transparent, I should add that my name is not actually Mark Mitchener. I am Oliver Brett. My colleague has been unkindly treated by the motorways of south-east England and is a little delayed, so bear with me a while.
From wisdencric_sam: "Extraordinary that Ponting's failure is The Australian's back page lead this morning."
I'd say... You'd have thought they might want to write something about Mitchell Johnson's 6-38, but there you go
Right, this is the real me - as real as I get, anyway. Morning everyone, Mark Mitchener here - just over an hour ago, I'd been sitting in static traffic on the M3 at Junction 4 for 40 minutes, and fearing I'd be there all night. Thanks to\u00a0Ollie for kicking things off - thankfully he didn't have to don his Hoth battle gear and\u00a0head out on a Tauntaun to rescue me.\u00a0Chris Tremlett to take the first over.
Aggers notes that Cap'n Strauss has a cap on rather than his usual white floppy sunhat - and is also convinced that Jonathan Trott rotates his headgear each session, alternating cap and sunhat.\u00a0Trott, who appears notoriously\u00a0superstitious with the way he marks out his guard, is\u00a0in a cap this morning - but it's a quiet first over as Mike Hussey plays out an unthreatening first over from Tremlett.
From Anonymous: "Hello TMS! No sooner as my facebook status of 'Johnson is a poor man's Mahmood' did the wickets start to fall, I will field similar praise to Anderson tod ay and england will reap rewards!"
Jimmy Anderson, on 199 Test wickets, to bowl the second over of the morning to the defiant Shane Watson, who was 61 not out overnight. Aggers bemoans the lack of a short leg for Watson, but there are only two men on the leg side as Anderson invites Watson to drive and the blond opener shoulders arms, before pushing a single into the covers.
From Elliott K, TMS inbox: "My friend just got a concussion so we drove him to the hospital, everything was fine, but on the way back the car wouldn't start, so the three of us (one being concussed) pushed the car for a mile through the snow, took about 90 minutes, but we are now home for the cricket! Perfect."
"I was speaking to Monty Panesar this morning, Aggers, and he still wants to come and speak to you on\u00a0the radio.\u00a0Name a time, and he'll be here - he got a five-for here four years ago."
While the aforementioned Montster makes his first appearance of the day as 12th man, to an inevitable cheer, Watson plays Tremlett off his legs for a single. Aggers notes that Ian Bell's fiancee Chantelle has now been designated as "head Wag" among England's wives and girlfriends, who recently arrived on the tour. "She confused me once when she changed her hair colour," admits Aggers. Hussey, 24 not out, is yet to score this morning.
From Chris in Vermont, TMS inbox: "Sorry, England. I have adhered to, for the first two Tests, a ban in my household on those most fiendish of Aussie entertainers, the Wiggles. And for the most part, my 2-year-old son hasn't noticed. But yesterday, out of the blue like a cheesy yet catchy Leviathan my son requested some Big Red Car. Without thinking, I popped the DVD in.
"Little did I know that Mssrs Cook, Strauss, Trott and Pietersen would soon fall so cheaply after their Satanic nemeses Greg, Murray, Anthony and Jeff. On behalf of myself, my son and all of America, I apologise."
Aggers and Michael Vaughan on TMS are concerned about Jimmy's 7-2 off-side field... but the "Burnley Express" slants one in to Watson who offers no stroke, and it appears to brush the bottom of his elbow as England appeal for a catch behind - it nearly hit his bat handle, and that would have been out. Good decision by Umpire Marais Erasmus. TMS scorer Andrew notes that there have been no reviews yet this innings. Watson square-cuts a two to third man - as MPV notes, very much in the style of Robin Smith - and dabs a single to mid-on to nick the strike.
As reports reach us of more Siberian snow around the country, I'd urge anyone with a non-essential journey to stay in the warm, huddle by your radio and let ourselves and TMS guide you through day three's action. Watson knocks Tremlett for a\u00a0single to square leg, while Michael Vaughan is waiting to see a photo of South Africa star Jacques Kallis's suspiciously impressive new hairline - amid reports that he's gone down the hair-hat route. A couple more singles push Australia's overall lead to 208.
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Watson shows plenty of patience against Anderson's off-side line, until an inswinger is flicked away for four to long leg. Plenty of England fans watching in the sunshine at the Waca. Watson adds a two and a single, Australuia are firmly in charge at this stage. Monty P brings Jimmy a drink.
From Jane from snowy Yorks: "Trying to hear TMS above sound of my chest wheezing under the duvet. Not very seasonal, but hoping Dr Strauss and his night nurses can help. Think Tremlett could cure me."
"I had planned to go out for a curry with Simon Hughes last night, but I was told I was on babysitting duties. I had to play 'Angry Birds' with the kids but they were too good at that, so I made them play 'Sonic the Hedgehog' and pretended I'd never played it before."
More steady accumulation from Watson and Hussey as Tremlett switches to bowling round the wicket to left-hander Hussey. Three singles from the over.
"Australia are giving England a lesson in when to play, and when not to play."
From Colin in Manchester, TMS inbox: "Just picked 'er indoors up from her xmas party in driving snow. She has obviously been on the vino, hic, have to use mobile internet as her snoring is drowning out the radio. Keep up the good work."
Plenty of effort from Anderson but it's not England's day so far. Just a leg bye from the over - Hussey is "patience personified", according to CMJ on TMS.
"The Australian supporters are a lot happier than they were yesterday, but there's still a lot for their side to do."
From Kieran & Jen, Scarborough: "In hospital awaiting birth of our 3rd child and delighted to report that birth suite has long wave to keep us company. Hoping wife and England don't have to endure too much labour!"
Needless to say, you have our best wishes for a smooth delivery...
Finn replaces Tremlett as England look for a breakthrough. A breeze ruffles Watson's shirt as he expertly leaves anything outside off stump. Maiden over. A fan dressed in a Dangermouse mask looks on, but Australia's two Baron Greenbacks are continuing to occupy the crease.
Hussey plunders a quick single just out of the reach of gully. Anderson has two slips and two gullys for Watson, who remains immovable at the crease.
From Tom, Nottingham: "Just got in from the work Christmas do... by some weird phenomenon every man worth their salt decided it was time to head home... I wonder why? Did someone mention there was some cricket on?"
On Twitter: "Do anything to get a wicket. Light a fag, make a cup of tea, change chairs, pat the dog, pat the wife or husband, wake someone up..."
For those of us who have watched nearly every ball of this series (I was lucky enough to be at the Brisbane and Adelaide Tests as a fan), there is an unfortunate growing inevitability about Mike Hussey's slow march towards what would be a sixth successive score of 50 or more against England. He and Watson exchange singles, before an attempted leg-glance brings Huss four leg byes. He has 28, Watson is 78, this stand is worth 81 and Australia lead by 226.
"I think the biggest waste of money you can\u00a0have\u00a0is on expensive designer sunglasses, as you inevitably lose them or break them."
On Twitter: "Controlling run scoring, but with these fields, England can't bowl straight - being left too often. Expending energy. Batsmen getting in..."
Anderson is bowling tightly, but England appear to be lacking the sort of inspiration Mitchell Johnson gave Australia yesterday when he bowled that devastating spell before lunch. Another fierce Watson cut brings him two to the cover sweeper.
On Twitter: "Shane Watson could be one of the most prolific batsmen in world cricket in a year or two. Astonishingly consistent, v solid technique."
A good, tumbling stop by Tim Bresnan (hey, when did he sneak onto the field?!) at short extra cover denies Hussey some runs against Finn, who completes a maiden over. Skipper Strauss trots back on at the end of the over, at the expense of Big Tim.
From Hitcho in Toronto, TMS inbox: "On the recent Ashes drinks topic, am on the vodka and organic chocolate milk tonight in desperation at putting something together. Not too bad, but worried that it\u2019s deceptively drinkable and will floor me unexpectedly. If so, suggest Forders [BBC Sport's Tom Fordyce in Perth] slips some \u201cchocolate milk\u201d to the Aussies at next drinks break\u2026"
More shouldering of arms from Watson against Anderson. A single takes him to 81, then a glorious square-driven four by Hussey brings up Australia's 150. Probably one more over before a drinks break can allow England to regroup.
From Rupert, a first time texter: "Have just woken for the Ashes with a cup of tea and an utterly gratuitous toasted crumpet with butter and honey. Is this bad form for 3.25am?"
If it keeps you awake and following us, Rupert, not gratuitous at all!
Watson crashes a couple of imperious off-drives through England's off-side cordon for four. A single puts Hussey on strike, and that's another four leg byes. 13 off the over, and time for drinks.
And while the drinks are on, if you missed yesterday's goodies, I can recommend a read of Aggers' verdict on day two, and Tom Fordyce's blog on Mitchell Johnson's heroics. And you can have a listen to Stuart Broad's Q&A from lunchtime yesterday, which is available as a podcast or as a regular audio piece on the BBC website.
\u201cThey\u2019ve picked up quite a few runs in the run-up to drinks and it\u2019s all Australia, there\u2019s nothing more I can say. I don\u2019t see how England have a cat in hell\u2019s chance of winning the game and there\u2019s only one chance in a lot of saving it. Don\u2019t even think of rain saving them because it don\u2019t rain here.\u201d
On Twitter: "Sat by Lord Geoff of Boycotti for last half hr. 'Know who I admire?' he kept saying. 'That Greek lad who did it all. Alexander the Great'."
\u201cThey\u2019ve picked up quite a few runs in the run-up to drinks and it\u2019s all Australia, there\u2019s nothing more I can say. I don\u2019t see how England have a cat in hell\u2019s chance of winning the game and there\u2019s only one chance in a lot of saving it. Don\u2019t even think of rain saving them because it don\u2019t rain here.\u201d
Their libations concluded, the players resume and Watson helps himself to three more against Tremlett. England are then held up by another of those automated motorised sightscreens, which doesn't appear to be able to go far enough over to do its job as Tremlett tries to go round the wicket to the left-handed Hussey. Ground staff in attendance...
What was wrong with old-style sightscreens which you just push over on wheels when someone goes round the wicket? Still the game is held up. Most of the England fielders are now reclining on the outfield.
Maybe this is symptomatic of the game. The sightscreen has literally "hit the buffers" - just as England have done in a metaphorical way.
The sightscreen is fixed by a combination of a ground staff member, the fourth umpire and a big hammer. Play to resume after a seven-minute delay - maintenance men are trying to repair the rail the sightscreen moves along, but are having to crouch down so they can't be seen behind the arm...
Finally we have some cricket. Tremlett bangs one in short to Hussey, who swivel-pulls him from outside off stump and it sails through mid-wicket for four. A textbook off-drive brings Hussey a couple more... time to give Swann a go?
From stewartheys: "The sightscreen fiasco has coincided nicely with me losing interest in the game as a contest. 1-1 heading to Melbourne."
The Barmy Army trumpeter (who I was mistaken for by two England fans on Table Mountain in Cape Town just under a year ago - rather weirdly, as I don't\u00a0particularly resemble him and wasn't carrying a trumpet) tries to rouse England with\u00a0a few jolly tunes, but it's more of the same from Australia as Watson and Hussey help themselves to three more singles from Finn.
Just as our office receives a fax from Cricket Australia, Tremlett raps Watson on the pad, he's given out but asks for a review...
The ball-tracking system makes it clear the ball was hitting the wickets, and Watson takes a VERY\u00a0long time to leave the crease. Is the ICC match referee watching?
Straight ball that, Watson tried to on-drive but we reckon he was clearly out. New batsman is all-rounder Steve Smith, who's virtually a specialist batsman in this game\u00a0as he wasn't needed to bowl.
Tremlett brings in a helmeted short leg for young Smith, who is off the mark with a single. Hussey dabs a two to move on to 45 - Australia lead by 261.
(The debate about Watson's dismissal continues - but Hotspot shows he brushed his pad with his bat before attempting his stroke. But the ball clearly hit him on the knee-roll. And he was very firmly out, despite his attempt to linger.)
Smith prods forward to Finn, England appeal for a catch at slip (or possibly an lbw), he's given out and immediately calls for a review...
Hotspot shows nothing on the bat, the ball appears to have brushed his front thigh. (The TMS crew are confused as to whether the appeal was for leg before, or caught). But third umpire Aleem Dar judges that the ball would have gone over the stumps - so Billy Doctrove, who's not had the best of Tests, makes the "safe" signal and Smith is reprieved.
Smith steers Finn for two through the covers, he then pulls one to long leg and it just drops out of the reach of Tremlett at long leg. An eventful over for Smith, whose blond quiff always puts me in mind of Tintin.
From Dom in Bromley, TMS inbox: "After a few (many) drinks with friends this evening, vegetable cricket in the kitchen seemed a good idea. Reenacting each TMS update using carrots for stumps, parsnips for bats and brussel sprouts for balls. Not much actual cricket happening but it beats the corridor version of the game any day."
If Geoff Boycott makes one of his "my mother could have hit that with a stick of rhubarb" comments, I trust you will attempt the same!
From Ben Sington, TMS inbox: "Poor sportsmanship from the Aussies. Ponting and\u00a0 Watson in this innings both showing disdain for clear decisions from umpire. First innings Hussey did not walk against Swann even though he knew he hit it. Conversely Cook asked Hussey if he had caught it in the first innings and took his word for it. Noticeable difference between the teams. The Aussies are not really playing in the spirit and it is unedifying."
Ooh. England have named their provisional 30-man World Cup squad - which must be reduced to 15 by 19 January. Interesting names are the uncapped Jimmy Adams, Jade Dernbach, James Hildreth, Darren Stevens and Chris Woakes. Otherwise, it's mostly the usual suspects, although Samit Patel is included - and the ECB press release specifically states that along with every other player, Patel will need to meet individual fitness criteria.
Back in Perth, Hussey reaches\u00a0fifty with an edge through third man for four. He's the first man to score six successive Ashes scores of 50 or more. Hussey prods forward to the last ball of the over, sends Smith back and Tremlett's throw at the stumps is just wide. Tintin is leading\u00a0a charmed life.
As "Jimmy Saville" leads the Barmy Army in a loud rendition of their "Everywhere we go" song, Smith drives Finn and they scamper three - before Finn strays with his length and Hussey rocks back to slap him through mid-wicket for four.
On Twitter: "Watson mouths 'hotspot' at umpire Doctrove after lbw decision. Hotspot shows he clipped his pad with his bat. That was close to dissent..."
As we close in on the 0430 GMT\u00a0lunch interval, England move the field so much that it's effectively like handing Smith a card saying "Hello Steve, you are hereby given notice that we're going to bowl short at you". A bouncer is signalled as an aerial wide by Umpire Erasmus - then Smith tries to duck another bouncer, the ball pings off his bat (in periscope mode)\u00a0and over Prior for two. How many let-offs has Tintin had now? When he eventually connects, a fierce pull brings him four.
"Pitch it up," suggests Michael Vaughan on TMS, advocating the use of the bouncer as a surprise tactic, rather than a stock delivery.
On Twitter: "Another shocker by Doctrove, reprieved by the system for 3rd time. If the Umps are not good enough, drop them - just like the players."
From David G: "Awoken to a further snow sprinkled Devon with the news of the rogue sightscreen infuriating Aggers. Priceless. Aussie batsman attitude is awful, sickening even, can you imagine how much stick we would get if we were that pig headed? Unforgivable. Bacon sarnie time."
Anderson replaces Finn, it's been just the three seamers used by England this morning. No sign of Swann. A short ball is meat and drink to Hussey, who unleashes another pull shot for three. Two more overs before lunch?
"Mr Cricket [Mike Hussey] is the star man of this Australian side - when he gets into that rhythm, he just takes every ball on its merits and is difficult to dislodge."
From Andrew Griffiths, TMS inbox: "Re: Ben Sington [0407]. As an impartial South African supporter your comments reminded me of Strauss not allowing Graeme Smith a runner for cramp during the Champions Trophy last year. This isn't tiddlywinks. Dry your eyes. 1-1 with all the momentum with the Aussies!"
From KevL, Sunderland, TMS inbox: "Always puzzles me when people try to link Aussies and sportsmanship, both mutually exclusive, that's why winning this series will be sooooooo enjoyable."
Single from Hussey,\u00a0Strauss sets Tremlett's field\u00a0for the short ball again but Smith pokes a quick one into the covers. Hussey averages over 70 against England, and he takes his score to 60 with a gentle clip off his legs. Smith attempts another pull, again it falls just short of the fielder - this time it's Bell at deep backward square leg. Nothing going to hand at the moment. Then there's a big lbw appeal against Hussey, Erasmus raises the finger but "Mr Cricket" asks for a review...
It looks very high on the replay, it hit him on the top of his pad... Virtual Eye agrees and Hussey stays at the crease.
From Piers, TMS inbox: "Re: Andrew Griffiths. This is sportsmanship not fitness. Banter is one thing, clear dissent another. Somebody needs to teach these Australians some etiquette, where's Shane Warne when you need him..?"
"Lunch interval includes interview with 'the man who made Mr Cricket' and Ashes legend Terry Alderman."
And with the delay that review brought, there's not time for another over and that's lunch. Hussey has 60, Smith has 16 and Australia lead by 292.
Our very own Tom Fordyce on TMS now - he's introducing the interview he's done with Mike Hussey's father Ted. Well worth a listen - if you can't hear TMS, you can read a text version of the interview here.
While you're listening to Tom & Ted, we're going to take a break and see if we can nab some brekkie anywhere in TV Centre. Back with you for the resumption just before 0510...
Some great chat with former Aussie swing bowler (and Goochie nemesis) Terry Alderman on TMS. Remember, if you miss anything on TMS or drift off to sleep, you can listen back to the entire day's play on the BBC iPlayer for the seven following days.
Search for TMS on BBC iPlayer (UK users only)
"I think I've won my bet with Michael Vaughan - Jonathan Trott [see 0234] is back in his sunhat. I think he changes it every session."
From Rod Howlett (15), Farndon, Notts, TMS inbox: "I know Ted from his son David's time at Notts. I met him at Trent Bridge three years ago, and he told me to "keep your eye on the ball." Maybe that was what he told Mike, because that advice'works so well! He really is a true gentleman, as is his wife, Helen. He's a fantastic bloke, and deserves the praise. I also learnt lots during this interview - my estimation of him has gone even higher!"
Steven Finn resumes proceedings after lunch, and his first ball is poked towards the cover boundary for three by Steve Smith. Mike Hussey is back in accumulation mode with a single, but a back-foot drive brings Smith three more - he has 22 from 29 balls.
And I'm still wondering about a man in the TV Centre foyer who was brought an enormous plate with about six or seven slices of toast (and nothing else...)
\u201cI know Swann looks like he knows not what line to bowl at Hussey but he has to bowl. He\u2019s one of four major bowlers, you can\u2019t just keep him out of the attack. You have to say to him \u2018look, you\u2019re supposed to be number one in the ICC rankings, you have got a job to do and we have to find a way to bowl at Hussey.\u2019 \u201d
Still an all-seam attack from England as Smith pushes Anderson for two to push the Aussies' lead past 300. Smith holds his bat very high in his stance and is a bit of a fidget ("he looks a bit of a cowboy", notes Boycs on TMS), but it's been effective so far - he cuts loose with a fluent four through the covers, and England are looking for inspiration. (What about trying that Swann bloke?)
Hussey pulls Finn through square leg, and it beats the diving Tremlett to the boundary. The left-hander cuts past gully for two, he moves on to 67.
From TheReverseSweep: "Finn is more expensive than Prada. Get Swanny on now!"
Anderson slants one down the leg side, Prior appeals for a catch behind against Smith... but as those of us who have watched plenty of this series have realised, Prior does appeal for virtually everything. England decide against a review - sensibly, because replays suggest it came off his hip. Anderson then yells an lbw appeal as Smith looks to force him to leg. But then he's hit on the pad again... and this time England invoke the DRS!
As 'Catchphrase' host Roy Walker may have said if he was in the third umpire's booth... "it's good, it's not right". Virtual Eye suggests the ball may possibly have been hitting the stumps, but it's close enough to be "umpire's call" (ie the on-field umpire's decision stands). Both sides now only have one review remaining.
Smith must be giggling inside after the number of times he's somehow avoided being lbw, run out or caught in this innings of his, thanks to a few juicy slices of luck... Anderson completes the over.
If you want to know why Olympic rower Annabel Vernon is a cricket fan, then read her BBC blog, including some fascinating parallels about Kevin Pietersen's talk of moving through the gears.
Finally England turn to Swann... Hussey and Smith are well set by now, adding a couple of singles, have England left it too late to bring\u00a0the off-spinner\u00a0on?
"I've seen a few finger spinners come to Australia, and it can be tough to bowl here because of the flat pitches. When it's not turning, it's difficult to get wickets."
From Anonymous: "Hallelujah! Only an hour late. The first time you'd really question what Strauss has done. Or not done."
Eoin Morgan comes on as substitute fielder for Kevin Pietersen as Anderson begins a new over. Single from Smith, then it's a silky cover drive for four by Hussey. (The ball is actually returned by KP from\u00a0just inside the ropes, as he comes on to field at the end of the over).
From Dave, TMS inbox: "I'm intrigued to understand how for that Smith DRS referral, it is umpire's call? At least half the ball was hitting leg stump?? Can anyone clarify the rules and just how much of the ball has to be striking the stumps?"
Simon Hughes on TMS thinks it was because three-eighths of the ball was hitting the stumps, but five-eighths wasn't...
Smith continues to chip away with singles, Swann comes round the wicket to Hussey, tempting the left-hander with a man out on the long-on boundary. But there's not much turn for the world's number one spinner as Hussey flicks a single and Smith slog-sweeps for two.
"I'm surprised that Swann hasn't bowled until now as he's been stood next to Strauss in the slips all day - why isn't he saying 'put me on'?"
if you're just joining us after a night under a warm duvet, it's not been a great morning for England - Shane Watson the only man to depart as Australia have pushed their overall lead well past 300. Anderson in for his 23rd over, having taken 0-58 so far in this innings. Hussey pushes a single into the covers.
Swann wheels away for England, the Aussie pair add a single apiece before Hussey takes his score to 79 with another glorious four through the covers. Meanwhile, Simon Hughes and Michael Vaughan wonder why Jimmy Anderson has never tried batting right-handed, given that he's an excellent right-handed golfer...
Michael Vaughan and Jim Maxwell are on TMS as the box is invaded and they are filmed by a couple of guys from Cricket Australia... out in the middle, there's still nothing to perk England up as just a Smith single is added to the score.
Swann, bedecked in sunglasses as usual, is driven for a single by Smith which brings up Australia's 250 - this pair have now added 73. Hussey uses his feet well against the spinner, a single takes him to 80 and the get-up-and-go seems to have gone out of England.
From MFoxx2: "When Ashley Giles trod on his stumps AND edged to the keeper off the same ball, he was still less out than that lbw. Ridiculous."
Tremlett, who's been England's best bowler in both innings, replaces Anderson at the River End. Again, it's completely telegraphed that he's going to bowl short - there are three men out on the leg-side fence, and a very fine third man for the uppercut. Hussey hooks safely for a single. Tremmers goes round the wicket for the right-handed Smith, again with men out on the leg-side boundary. Smith walks across his stumps to duck a bouncer, but then gloves one to Prior down the leg side... and WALKS! (Yes, you did read that correctly!)
Brad Haddin is the new batsman, England may roll their eyes as it's the Haddin and Hussey show again (remember Brisbane?). Strauss moves himself to leg slip as Tremlett oversteps with a no-ball. He has 3-58, with match figures of 6-121. Well done him.
Swann serves up an absolute pie to Hussey, who despatches it to the mid-wicket\u00a0boundary with the contempt it deserved. A single brings Haddin on strike, and he immediately launches a six over cow corner! A good way to get off the mark...
Interestingly, Hussey is now the highest scorer in the series, just ahead of Ali Cook - the pair of them have both scored nearly 200 more than any other player. The Western Australia man pulls a single, then England set Haddin up for a short ball with a leg slip and short leg... so he bunts it through the vacant slip cordon and they run one. Another firm Hussey pull... that's excellent fielding from the lanky Finn on the mid-wicket boundary to restrict them to two. Tremlett goes round the wicket... our old friend the rogue sightscreen [see 0339] is now working properly, thankfully. Hussey nicks the strike - time for drinks.
From Glentanar: "Does Steve Smith fidgeting at\u00a0the crease remind anyone of Derek 'Arkle' Randall?"
From Ben in Bath, TMS inbox: "If England's top order each make their average for this series we should be able to chase 1,000 no problem. There is plenty of time left in the game."
With 71 overs gone (and the second new ball available after 80), Paul Collingwood is going to have a bowl with his brand of medium-paced seamers and cutters - "the Colly wobblers" as some call them. Just one slip in, Hussey picks up a single but it's a quiet over.
"I'm not sure I'm feeling very Christmassey yet. My wife brought a Christmas tree into our hotel room in Durban last year that took up virtually half the room."
Hussey pushes a quick single, Haddin is late setting off, Colly pounces, panther-like and shies at the stumps. It misses by inches... Haddin wasn't even in the picture. BUT HE'S BOWLED NEXT BALL! Inside edge onto his stumps, via his thigh.
"Interesting call for Strauss - the new ball's due soon, Collingwood's bowling the other end just knocking through the overs, but do you keep attacking from this end with Tremlett, or from both ends?"
Mitchell Johnson is the new batsman, there are already three men out on the leg side... but it's a double bluff as Tremlett fires one in full which Johnson squirts off his legs for a single. Hussey pulls a short ball for four to reach 96.
The Collywobblers continue... Johnson brilliantly caught at short extra cover by Ian Bell! Colly's 16th Test wicket, in his 66th Test.
Rolf "Ryan" Harris is the new batsman after scores of 0,0 and 3 this series. Colly sends down a bouncer... which is signalled as an aerial wide! But a great breakthrough from the Sunderland fan, whose side face Bolton in today's lunchtime Premier League kick-off.
(If you're intending to go to any sporting event today, I'd highly recommend you check out our "snow patrol" page for any postponements - and you may also wish to contact the home club before travelling).
Hussey pulls Tremlett for four... and that's his hundred! It came up from 136 balls with 13 fours, and it's his 13th Test century.
Great celebration from Hussey there, punching the air and whipping off his helmet to salute the crowd. Another pull shot brings him a single, Harris is off the mark with a single and Hussey adds another - Australia lead by 365.
From Oli, TMS inbox: "Just waking up in Paris - not too disheartened by the scoreline. Batting seemingly getting easier, and we will see a determined England like we did in Brisbane. If we can wrap up this innings for no more than 50 runs, we have seven sessions to score 425-ish - surely manageable. Here's hoping, anyway."
Colly keeps it tight and sends down a maiden over to The Huss.
Tremlett taken off! He's only bowled four overs. Finn on (presumably saving Tremlett for the new ball) - Harris swings and is caught at mid-wicket!
Peter Siddle is the new man in, but they crossed on the catch so it's Hussey facing - will he want to farm the strike now? Finn manages to keep him on strike, so who'll bowl the next over to Siddle, with three overs before the new ball?
It's Colly to continue, that's who. Siddle opts not to play a lifting delivery - and is then dropped by Graeme Swann at cover! A hard chance, but catchable - that's a maiden from Colly, but so nearly a wicket maiden...
"Just think, if the unthinkable happens, England win and Ricky Ponting goes, Hussey could get the captaincy!"
Finn to bowl the 79th over, Hussey off-drives and threads the needle through England's off-side field for his 14th four. A single takes the Aussie lead up to 370, Siddle survives the rest of the over and we have one more before the second new ball becomes available.
"England have never successfully chased anything like 400 to win a Test before. Their best effort was getting 332 to win at Melbourne in 1928, and they have only produced two other successful chases in excess of 300, the most recent the 315 against Australia at Headingley in 2001, with Mark Butcher the hero."
Colly in again, possibly for his last over. Just a single for Hussey, and the new cherry is brought out.
New ball now available... but not taken just yet, Finn still bowling. Hussey dabs a single, and England will hope they make a better job of removing Siddle and Hilfenhaus than they did in the first innings, when the Aussie last pair added 35 potentially crucial runs. Siddle is off the mark with a prod past Cook at short leg for a single. The last ball is a bouncer, Hussey is "on the pull" again (as it were) and can't middle it. No run.
From Pete: "Typical. Up since 3am listening watching us get batted out\u00a0of the game. Go out for an hour to rescue the car from the snow and missed all the wickets... May be I should pop out for a paper whilst we finish them off."
It's still Collingwood - Jim Maxwell and Boycs on TMS reckon England must be leaving the new ball to be taken after tea (due at 0710 GMT, unless a wicket falls). Siddle fences and misses at Colly, then ducks a bouncer. We'll have one more over before tea.
Anderson going to have a bowl before tea...
On Twitter: "Reality check: England have scored 300+ to win a Test batting 4th only 3 times ever. However, there is time available here to make it 4."
From Max, TMS inbox: "Was having a discussion with an Aussie last night about who should take the captaincy if/when Ponting goes... Aside from Michael Clarke (who I'm told is unpopular in the squad) Hussey is one of the only other contenders but at 34 is he too old? He's definitely got the heart for it. Shocking to think he was on the cusp of getting dropped before the Ashes!"
Single from Hussey exposes Siddle to potentially five deliveries from the new ball... Anderson aims for the lbw but Siddle fiddles a leg bye down the leg side. Hussey dabs another single, clearly taking any run that's there. Nice positive approach from Mr Cricket. Siddle pushes the penultimate ball for two - that's TEA. Australia lead by 378, Hussey has 111.
"If England are going to win this, it's going to be a record - but I hope I'm there to see it!"
From WisdenCric_John: "It's Patrick Eagar's 100th England v Australia Test. Corked hats off to the doyen of cricket photography."
On Twitter: "Hussey's father Ted watching on proudly. England still in this, but ask gets bigger."
Right, while the players pause for tea and everyone gets their breath back, I can inform you that I'll be handing over to\u00a0my colleague\u00a0Sam Sheringham to kick us off for the first half-hour or so after the interval in the hope of wrapping up the Aussie innings in rapid fashion. It's his first time with this new version of live text, so please be gentle with him... I'll be watching...
Good morning all. I've been tasked with taking the last two Australian wickets and it's a challenge I'm hoping to rise to with aplomb before passing the baton back to Mr Mitchener. Hussey now has more than 500 runs for the series - I still think he should have been dropped.
"Hussey has done it for a long time. He\u2019s called Mr Cricket, he averages more than 50 and he\u2019s a fine player."
The umpires are on their way back out on to the field at an ever-sunny Waca followed by Strauss and his men and the two Aussie batters. How costly could Swann's drop be for England? We'll soon find out.
From Michael Roche, TMS inbox: "Don't see why they should burden Hussey with the captaincy, he's the only player who has looked like causing us damage really and that role might affect his batting."
"I've lost my bet [see 0515 and 0234] as Jonathan Trott is wearing his floppy hat again."
Tremlett throws down a wide from the first ball after tea setting a rather worrying tone. The next ball sits up and Hussey cuts it slap bang into the side of a seagull. Fortunately the pesky bird is unscathed and waddles off to another part of the outfield to continue grazing. Siddle gloves a four down to leg and gets lucky off the final ball, which is deflected through Cook's legs. Hussey cuts the last ball of the over for four.
From Dan, on a train from London to Manchester: "All of the talk about England winning this game is pretty ridiculous. Not only do we have to score at least 46 runs more than we have ever managed in Test history, we have to do it against an Aussie team with their tail up in their own backyard. Are we really that arrogant as to think that the Aussies are that bad? We're not playing the Netherlands U18s."
Anderson claims his\u00a0200th Test wicket as Siddle clips into Collingwood's hands in the slips. Just one more to get now.
"It's very important England get this last wicket quickly. In the first innings, the last two wickets added 67 - and the last pair put on 35. I'm surprised Ryan Harris bats above Siddle and Hilfenhaus."
Anderson, the second youngest Englishman after Ian Botham to reach 200 wickets, gifts new batsman Hilfenhaus a wide. Then the Lancastrian finds his line, ripping a snorter past the number 11's defence.
"I think the run chase is on, I really do. But if Johnson swings it, nay chance."
From Paul in freezing Kent, TMS inbox: "Why on earth shouldn\u2019t we make a total like this? Records are there to be broken; Hussey just broke one by making six 50s on the bounce, so why shouldn\u2019t this England team, who to be honest are very focused and high on ability, break a run chase record?"
Hussey declines a single off the second ball of the over and Strauss brings in the field after four. Hussey cuts hard at a wide one but it's well-stopped by Collingwood at backward point. Last ball of the over and that's out as Hussey pulls one right down the throat of Swann at deep square leg.
From Cheddar Cheese, Ashington, TMS inbox: "South Africa chased 414\u00a0two years ago at this very ground. This is on, big time. Couple of decent partnerships, we arent talking 600 here. Come on boys."
"Delighted for Chris Tremlett for a well-deserved five-for. It's\u00a0now up to our opening batsmen to see us through to the close, I hope we can knock off these runs."
Swann delights the Barmy Army with a quick performance of the "sprinkler dance." That's five wickets for Tremlett - his first in Test cricket - a great performance from the Surrey man. So England need 391 to win - there's a first time for everything folks.
Listen to Stuart Broad's explanation of the sprinkler dance in his Q&A with TMS
From Anonymous: "England should get it, they are far better than Australia in every single department. Johnson blew hot in the first innings -\u00a0he'll probably blow cold for the remainder of the year..."
Australia gather for a long huddle in the outfield as Ponting rallies his troops. Strauss and Cook soon follow. Massive session this, for the match and the series.
Hilfenhaus is entrusted with the first over of England's run chase. Strauss ducks a decent bouncer before jamming his bat down on a superb inswinging yorker.\u00a0This would. Time for a captain's innings methinks.\u00a0
"Ben Hilfenhaus is going to be a key bowler here - the sea breeze might just be coming in, but with Ryan Harris swinging the ball into the left-handers, swing will be the key. I wondered whether Ricky was going to open with Mitchell Johnson this innings."
England's target would be the fifth highest run chase in Test history. Ryan Harris is given the new ball ahead of Johnson and Cook gets England under way with a tidy tickle off his legs for two. The Essex opener helps himself to four more with a very thin leg glance to the boundary. The next ball is a beauty, which tempts Cook into a prod, but the ball whistles harmlessly past the bat.
Strauss gets off the mark with two runs through mid-on. The skipper leaves the next five balls as Hilfenhaus\u00a0veers\u00a0a touch wide of off-stump.
On Twitter: "One\u00a0of the\u00a0three occasions England have chased over 300 to win was in 97 in New Zealand. Alec Stewart was playing & I was reporting for BBC Radio 5 live!"
On Twitter: "Stuart Broad in the TMS box says 'I have an extremely good feeling about this'. We'll see!"
Harris stops half way through his run-up to swat away a fly. Cook takes a single on the off side as Langer talks up England's chances on TMS. Harris overpitches and Strauss leans in to a sumptuous drive, which races to the boundary.
From Chris, TMS inbox: "It's a fair point that this would be\u00a0a win of record breaking proportions, but chasing into the 300s is rare for two reasons. The first reason is that it's hard to do, but there's a second, equally important reason, that a lot of large chases run out of time and the match is drawn. We have nearly\u00a0seven sessions here, let's be positive, it's more than enough time to tally up a big score slowly and carefully."
Hilfenhaus draws an edge from Cook and the ball drops agonisingly short of Ponting at second slip. The ball didn't quite carry to Punter but it's a worrying development for England. There's a half-hearted appeal for a caught-behind off Strauss but the ball brushed his leg.
Right, thanks Sam for getting England under way - this is Mark Mitchener back at the helm for the rest of the day. In fact, it's a double Mitch change as Australia bring Mitchell Johnson on - his first ball is defended by Cook, who sets off for a run, is sent back - and Johnson, following through, kicks the ball soccer-style and it just misses the stumps! Had it hit, Cook would have been on his way! The reprieved Cook pushes a two and a three - Johnson is quite loose at this stage, as he was in the early part of the first innings.\u00a0Strauss slashes at a wide one, it sails wide of Hussey at gully and that's four! it's never dull when (either) Mitch is in action...
Harris changes ends, and his first ball traps Cook lbw! And he doesn't even review it, even though it looked a bit high...
"That's a massive wicket as Cook has been England's rock. I've called him 'the chiseller of Chelmsford' as he's batted for nearly 20 hours in this series."
From Will, Singapore, TMS inbox: "Afternoon chaps, greetings from the trenches of Perth! Sat just in front of the Barmy Army, watching Trott stride confidently in. Still believing we can win this!"
Jonathan Trott takes guard, which he will hopefully be doing for at least the next four or five sessions. Harris tries to fire in a yorker, Trott nudges it down to fine leg for four, before pushing a single to mid-wicket. Strauss gets an edge which bounces half-way to third slip, then he clips a single off his legs.
"There's been a lot written about the talking out on the pitch, or 'sledging' as you call it, but I think it's part of the drama of Test cricket, as long as it stays out on the field and people don't come to blows. Normally at the end of the day you see them laughing and joking about it - if the game were played any other way, I'd be disappointed."
Strauss leaves a wide one from Johnson well alone - having gone for nine in his first over, the left-armer sends down a maiden over.
From Nige, TMS inbox: "Sledging? Sledging? Don't talk to me about sledging, it's minus 6 and snowing here in Gloucester (or the outskirts of Cheltenham as we like to call it)."
Harris is charging in, Trott is resolute and steers a four through point.
Strauss cuts Johnson for another four but then\u00a0edges straight\u00a0to Punter at second slip! Groan...
Kevin Pietersen in. On a pair. The atmosphere is electric, the Perth crowd are on their feet, Pietersen is hit on the pad... the keeper and slips appeal, Johnson doesn't, but KP shuttles up and down for two leg byes. So he's still on nought.
England now have two right-handers in, and no doubt the Aussie media will frequently mention that they both hail from South Africa. (Strangely, the same Aussie media never used to preface Andrew Symonds' name with "English-born"...). As Hilfenhaus replaces Harris, Trott redigs "the Trott Trench" in front of the wicket, and clubs the last ball of the over for two.
Johnson slides a wild and woolly one down the leg side which Haddin does well to take. KP is off the mark with a single to fine leg, the confident Trott works a two off his legs.
And for those of you upset by the recent demise of Paul the Psychic Octopus, who found fame for correctly predicting World Cup results, I give you Jack the cotton-top tamarin monkey, who has gone for an England win in Perth after correctly predicting the Ashes results so far. With the sad death of Pink Panther film\u00a0director\u00a0Blake Edwards this week, I can't help but wonder what Inspector Clouseau would have made of "a mystic minkey"...
From Richard on holiday at Center Parcs (Sherwood Forest): "No TV or radio coverage in my villa so relying on you guys to keep me up all night. I think we are up against it now Strauss is in the shed, we needed a big knock from him to hold it all together."
From Pete the Pom from Pontefract, now living in Perth, TMS inbox: "Sat in the sunshine but this is far from enjoyable. The loss of Strauss has changed the atmosphere here. Every ball is tense. Will KP be the hero or villain? We need you mate! Just need to get to stumps without another loss."
As yesterday, the slow over-rate today means this is going to be a marathon session - we'll be going on until 1000 GMT today. "Gentle Ben" Hilfenhaus bears down on Pietersen, who plays out a maiden over.
From Anonymous: "Andrew Symonds [see 0846] moved to Oz at the ripe old age of three months. Trott and Pietersen as adults to get a game. The Saffas are in form back home, England would be hoping for more of the same in Perth."
Johnson has three slips and a gully, as well as a cordon of seagulls patrolling the covers. Trott plays a horrid shot to a bouncer, gloving it down to fine leg and they run two. Could have gone anywhere. The Warwickshire man is scoring quite quickly though, reaching 18 from 22 balls when he drives through the covers, scattering the seagulls,\u00a0and picks up three. KP tips-and-runs a quick two off his legs to bring up the fifty for England. Only 340 more needed...
From John Stafford, TMS inbox: "I know England won the series against Pakistan in the summer but the warnings about their fragile batting were there for all to see. Seems people preferred to paper over the cracks!"
Trott shoulders arms to Hilfenhaus, who appeals for lbw (on his own, not joined by the slips) - Hotspot showed the ball flicking the top of his bat pad but it was always going to be turned down for height. Hilfenhaus pings in a bouncer, which looks to be heading for four byes (or as they may now be renamed, "Wickie-leaks") before the spring-heeled Brad Haddin leaps up to take the ball magnificently. Maiden over, and drinks.
From Paul Hassan, TMS inbox: "Re: Symonds/Pietersen/Trott [see 0859]. Why does no one ever mention Kepler Wessels?"
PS Andrew Hill makes the same point via email, adding the name of Dirk Nannes...
From Nick in Greece, TMS inbox: "Have found the only bar in Athens fully staffed by Australians. This is going to be fun (hopefully) or an ordeal (probably)!"
Peter Siddle, Australia's hat-trick hero from Brisbane, is now relegated to the role of fourth seamer. After he sends down a maiden over to Pietersen, CMJ on TMS reports that we have our first pitch invader of the Ashes series. He trips over while trying to remove his trousers on the way out there ("a pretty pathetic attempt at streaking", notes Michael Slater), and is rugby-tackled by several burly stewards. Sorry, don't have a "streaker" icon...
From DrabsDownUnder: "Round of applause from Shane Watson. That was comedy gold."
While the Aussies recover from the hilarity of the streaker (who thankfully didn't hold up play as much as the rogue sightscreen did at 0339), Trott plays out another maiden to Hilfenhaus. That's three maidens on the trot (two on the Trott, one on the Pietersen).
England finally get off 51 as Siddle sends down a no-ball. Pietersen nudges a leg-bye down to fine leg, and Trott scatters the seagulls again with a two through the covers. And at the end of the over, Ajmal Shahzad brings out some replacement bats for KP...
A note for music fans: Rock band Muse will be joining TMS for a chat at the interval tomorrow...
KP nicks to first slip, not a great shot and Watson makes no mistake. "A typical dismissal at the Waca," notes TMS summariser Michael Slater. And that's Hilfenhaus's first Test wicket since the third ball of the series...
From Pete, nursing the baby, TMS inbox: "Re the Trott/Symonds etc argument - does it even matter?! If a player qualifies, he can play. If the Aussies don't like it then maybe they should ask for a change in the rules."
Replays show KP just stopping himself from whacking his bat against something as he stalked towards the dressing-room. Maybe he wasn't happy with the bat Shahzad gave him? Three slips and two gullys for new batsman Paul Collingwood, who's off the mark with a two.
From Alistair, Haywards Heath, TMS inbox: "We should have been a lot more ruthless with the Australian tail in their first innings\u00a0- we had the opportunity to bowl them out very cheaply, we didn\u2019t take it and England are now paying the price. However it is snowing heavily here and I\u2019m absolutely loving listening to TMS - not so much now KP has gone!"
Agree totally about the first innings, Alistair.
From mattlowndes: "Some of England's shot selection in this Test has been lamentable - have they got a bit carried away with the Aussie bashing?"
From Gary, Market Harborough, TMS inbox:\u00a0"Shahzad should have brought KP a narrower bat."
Siddle keeps it tight against Trott - if anyone is booking in for bed and breakfast at this stage, it'll be IJL Trott. Just a single from the over.
More of the same from Hilfenhaus - Colly and Trott manage a single apiece.
"I'm sure Ricky will be thinking of giving Mitchell Johnson a little burst before the close."
From Jeremy Leese, TMS inbox: "Why won't we change the order based on circumstances? Bell is a far better leaver of the ball than KP, and would have had nothing to do with that nothing delivery! KP could have launched his attack fresh tomorrow. Looks set to be all square heading to the MCG :-("
\u00a0
The snarling Siddle bangs it in to Colly, who rocks back to cut for four between the slips and gully. But for the rest of the over, Colly reverts to his "Brigadier Block" persona.
And Jim Maxwell on TMS reveals that Ricky Ponting is 36 tomorrow. I'm sure the Barmy Army will sing for him. Probably something along the lines of "You're gonna be sacked on your birthday..."
Hilfenhaus finds a bit of away swing, but Trott steers him for a four through point before turning a well-run three off his legs. He has 29 of England's 71 runs.
Meanwhile, there are plenty of you emailing in about how you think the arrival of the Wags has provoked England's dip in form... Why, have they been advising their husbands on shot selection?
From Pete, Stockport: "If ever there is a time to see Collingwood show his true worth for sticking around, then this is definitely it!"
"If these keepers were umpires we'd have very short games."
On Twitter: "For those asking about chances of rain saving England, it's as likely as London sizzling in 33 degree sunshine over Xmas. Sorry. So sorry."
As Michael Vaughan predicted a little earlier, Mitchell Johnson is going to charge in for another burst before the close. Trott looks to chase one down the leg side, there's an appeal for a catch behind... but Umpire Doctrove shakes his head. With the way Doctrove has been in this Test, they may be tempted to review it, but they don't... and Hotspot shows the ball flicking off Trott's hip.
Can Trott and Colly see England through to the close? Punter rotates his seamers (still no sign of Steve "Tintin" Smith's own brand of leg breaks and juicy pies in this Test) as Harris replaces Hilfenhaus. Just a single for Colly as England look to wind down.
Johnson to Colly, it flicks the Durham man's\u00a0hip and sails to the rope for four leg byes. Then Colly fences at Johnson, the ball scoots away past point and they scamper three. Then, Trott edges, Ponting grasps at it at second slip\u00a0and Haddin catches on the rebound... Punter's hurt his hand, but he'll be glowing inside.
Physio comes on to treat Punter, he has a problem with the little finger on his left hand. He leaves the field, leaving Michael Clarke in charge - and James Anderson is in as England's nightwatchman. He shoulders arms to the last ball of Johnson's over - we'll have one more.
Last over of the day - Harris to bowl to Collingwood, and he floors the Durham man with a vicious bouncer that Colly has to duck away from. Colly fends off the penultimate ball of the day, and then nicks the last ball to third slip.
England women's cricketer Danni Wyatt: "1-1 with 2 to play. Game on! Morgan in for Collingwood... He's useless!"
Australia have a quick chat about claiming the extra half-hour... but decide against it, and that's the close of play. Michael Vaughan on TMS noticed the Aussies giving Anderson a huge send-off, even though he wasn't the one dismissed - he looks to have wound a few of them up. Oh, Colly....
TMS are about to review the day with Aggers and Boycs - you'll also be able to hear highlights of the day's play on BBC 5 live sports extra until 1500 GMT (when it switches to Leeds v QPR commentary), while you can also find plenty to listen to on the podcasts page. Sam Sheringham's match report is already available - and in due course, you'll be able to read Aggers' verdict on day three, and Justin Langer's key moments, both on the BBC Sport website.
From Anonymous: "Defeat is acceptable, going down this weakly is not. The demons are starting to resurface."
From Andy, TMS inbox: "Taking England's last\u00a0four innings in pairs, they've gone from 1137 for 6 to 268 for 15."
Well, after a day featuring a rogue sightscreen, an incompetent streaker and a mystic minkey, I'd hoped we'd be talking about an excellent five-wicket haul from Chris Tremlett, and the prospect of an exciting day's cricket tomorrow. Unfortunately, I guess it's going to be another post-mortem on England's batsmen today (Adelaide seems a long time ago now).
It's snowing outside our office now, so if you're off to a game today, please check our snow patrol page for postponements and check the game's on before travelling. I'll be back (snow permitting) tomorrow morning - play starts at 0230 GMT. And I can confidently say that unless we see an Australian victory tomorrow, we're likely to witness one of the most unbelievable days in the history of Test cricket. TTFN.
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