Michael Yardy - 1-21 from four overs, 35 not out to see England home - is the man of the match, and that's me done for this evening - night!
From cleavdon on 606:
"Is Luke Wright international standard in any form of cricket? No doubt he is an accomplished county player but I fail to see what he contributes to an England team."
From Amir on 606:
"I have to say I am really clueless as to why Luke Wright plays any form of the game for England."
From KipperJohn on 606:
"From what I saw of the Pakistan innings, if they had played proper cricket shots instead of some pretty wild slogging at times, they'd have posted another 20 easily. What gets into these batsmen's heads that they feel the need to hit every other ball out of the ground?"
Big celebrations from Morgan and Yardy, emotions frothing up after a taut, taut week. Strange old encounter - Pakistan's batsmen struggled to time the ball on a sluggish deck, and we thought it might be the same for England's batsmen. But after a mid-order wobble, Morgan did what he does best, taking things away from Pakistan, with the able support of Yardy. I should add that Pakistan's fielding wasn't much cop either...
18th over - 129-5
Umar Gul to bowl and that's that, Morgan carving his first ball away for four...
17th over - 125-5
Slip in for Morgan and the Dubliner reverse sweeps for one - 10 required. Morgan swings Ajmal away for four, a couple of bounces into the fence, and England are one hit away from victory. Yardy paddles round the corner for a couple, England need two from 18 balls...
16th over - 116-5
Shoaib back into the attack, a last throw of the dice for skipper Afridi. Morgan angles into the off-side for a couple - no way that should have been two, but it was. Morgan turns Shoaib round the corner for one more before Yardy pushes into the covers for a couple to bring up the fifty partnership from only 33 balls. Four more for Yardy with little more than a dab off his pads and this looks like England's game...
15th over - 107-5
This has all turned round rather quickly, and that's what Morgan is so good at. That said, it's Yardy doing the damage in this over, first picking up two down the ground off a full-bunger before angling the bat and picking up four. Two more for Yardy before Ajmal has a decent lbw shout turned down - think that hit him outside the line.
14th over - 99-5
Yardy and Morgan milking Afridi with some ease, singles from the first three balls of the over. Morgan looks to cut and is beaten by one that slides on but he's picked up four off the next ball, making room and pinging a cut through extra-cover. Another ordinary piece of fielding from the man running round, it's like they're stuck in the 1970s...
13th over - 92-5
Some off-spin now from Ajmal and his first ball is flayed through the covers for four. I think that's another chance next ball, the ball finding the edge of Yardy's bat, ricocheting off Akmal's pad and running away for a couple. To be fair, it was a sharp chance. Morgan with an educated edge for four and England now need 37 from 44... Morgan working from outside off to mid-on for one and Yardy dabs to leg to keep the strike.
12th over - 79-5
One for Morgan, a brace for Yardy and a single for Yardy, before Shoaib drops an absoluter shocker off a reverse sweep from Morgan - that's why he was there...
11th over - 73-5
Morgan relieves some of the pressure with a laced drive through the covers for four - Umar Akmal the fielder, and look at those rascals he's got on his feet: luminous green, looks like they might be radioactive. Yardy is off the mark with a single and Morgan hands him back the strike. That's dreadful from Shoaib down at long-leg, he stoops, he doesn't get his hands in position and the ball dribbles away for four.
10th over - WICKET - Wright b Afridi 0 (Eng 62-5)
Luke Wright is next in, England in a bit of a hole. That's a doozy of a stroke from Morgan, nibbling Afridi to the long-leg boundary. Morgan cuts awkwardly for one before Wright, looking for the dab-sweep, is bowled behind his legs... apologies, this is the 10th over, the last one was the ninth, not the eighth...
9th over - WICKET - Davies c Riaz b Gul 33 (Eng 57-4)
Collingwood's eyes lit up and started rolling like the wheels of a fruit machine there - short, but it stayed low, and he dragged the ball down. Eoin Morgan is next up the ramp and Umar Gul is onto bowl. One for Davies with a square-drive and Morgan is off the mark with a clip to mid-on. But Davies is gone next ball! Short from Gul and the Surrey man has pulled it straight down the neck of the fielder at mid-wicket, Wahab Riaz.
William, Chatteris, in the TMS inbox:
"Evening Ben. I'm glad to see Steven Davies back in the team - it puzzled me why the selectors were so keen to get Kieswetter in the team so quickly as for my money Davies has always been the better keeper and bat. It also annoys me when England faff around with batsmen who reckon they can keep a bit - Davies is a proper wicketkeeper and hopefully he'll take his chance. Also, it's my birthday today so if this doesn't get printed I'll have to send in another email deriding the BBC for not giving me my license money's worth and slating you for being a stupid sillyhead."
8th over - WICKET - Collingwood b Afridi 4 (Eng 55-3)
The wily Afridi is going to bowl himself and he can be very difficult to get away - a pivotal period of the game. Davies prods Afridi to mid-off for a couple before knifing him through the off-side for four more. Ropey fielding all round, two fielders had a chance to stop that. One more for Davies before Collingwood nurdles off his hip for two. England don't need to take any chances, they only need a run a ball... Collingwood's played on...
7th over - 46-2
Powerplay over, Collingwood the new man in the middle. He's off the mark immediately with a dab to leg before Davies is beaten outside the off-stump by Riaz. Davies with a fluid twirl of the blade and he picks up one into the covers before Colly is very nearly run out, but the shy from Ajmal misses. Riaz from the Cathedral Road End and Davies adds one more to the total with a punch through point.
6th over - WICKET - Bopara c Yousuf b Shoaib 11 (Eng 42-2)
Davies defends a short one from Shoaib into the covers and scampers one. Shoaib's acting up - he shapes to shy at the stumps after a defensive stroke from Bopara before scuttling down the wicket and giving him daggers. Bopara backs away, Shoaib follows him and the Essex batsman swings him round the corner for three. One more for Davies - nope, that was a leg-bye - before Bopara looks to go over the top and Old Man Yousuf pouches it in the deep - fine catch that running backwards.
5th over - 37-1
Here's Wahab Riaz, the left-arm seamer who took a five-fer on Test debut at The Oval. Good first delivery, the ball hooping away from the left-handed Davies, but there's a sweet stroke, Davies lacing over cover for four. Too straight from Riaz and Davies whips him away for a couple before Pakistan should have run out Davies but that was poor work from Riaz at the non-striker's end. Always confusion in the middle when Ravi's around...
4th over - 30-1
Shoaib to continue, and he looks in pretty good nick, free of the extra timber he's been carrying of late. Davies pops one up into no-man's land on leg-side for one but that's a classy stroke from Bopara, flashing Shoaib through backward-point for four. Lbw appeal against Bopara - it was going over - and he's very nearly run-out by the bowler after he goes walkabout, as is his wont. Shoaib's dander is up, that ball was 96mph, but that's another good shot from Bopara, a twirl into the covers and he runs up two...
Wayne, Bebington, in the TMS inbox:
"Chaz is right - stop shortening names, it's childish. Now I'm off in the garden to put my coat over my head and run around pretending to be Superman."
3rd over - 20-1
I know this is so much hit-and-giggle, but that was a pretty rancid shot in any circumstances from Kieswetter, it's like he was throwing the hammer. Wicket-maiden for Shoaib, Bopara survived the over. Davies with a couple courtesy of a pat to mid-wicket and he picks up two more with a more uncultured stroke. Four for Davies with a swing round the corner before he's beaten by a seaming delivery from Razzaq. There's two more for the Surrey left-hander with a nurdle to leg - good running that - and he nicks the strike with a feather down the leg-side - 11 from the over, Razzaq two overs for 20. Sun-up in Cardiff... The good news is we now have the TMS commentary and video scorecard back on the site.
2nd over - WICKET - Kieswetter c K Akmal b Akhtar 6 (Eng 9-1)
Who's this then? It's our old mate Shoaib Akhtar. His first delivery is a short one which Kieswetter drops his hands on. Akhtar off a short run-up but he's still sending it down at 90mph-plus - and he's got one! Kieswetter clearing his front foot and looking to marmalise it and he only succeeds in edging to Akmal behind the timbers.
1st over - 9-0
Ironic cries of "no-ball!" as Razzaq delivers the first ball of the innings and Kieswetter skews it through the gully area for a single. Davies squirms into the off-side for a couple off the leading edge before playing another false stroke for one down to fine-leg. There's the first four of the match courtesy of a Kieswetter carve through point and he picks up one more with an ugly heave to leg. Decent first over for the hosts.
You'd think that after that bowling display from Swanny and Co that Colly's boys should have few problems chasing this total down, but I'm not so sure - even minus Asif and Amir, this looks like a wily Pakistan attack, certainly in the short form of the game. It's a couple of glovemen opening up for England, and Kieswetter's coming off a couple of decent knocks for Somerset after a terrible start to the season... Razzaq with the first over...
From Ian, Dubai, via text:
"Why didn't Pakistan play Twenty20 style in the Tests? This would have been a good score for them."
Charles in the TMS inbox:
"Please would you stop referring to the England players by these childish names of Swanny and Colly etc, sounds like you are commentating on a pre-school runabout in the playground. It is very irritating. Just use their proper names and stop being so childish."
Simon in the TMS inbox:
"Two lions walking down Oxford Street, one turns to the other and says: 'Oxford Street's quiet for a Saturday morning.'"
Funny old innings that - only four wickets lost, just 126 runs. Looks like a tricky wicket to bat on, not much pace, not much being middled...
20th over - 126-4
Two for Akmal from the first ball of the final over - which is being sent down by Broad - and he picks up one more with a flash through the covers. Afridi walks to leg and Broad follows him, just one for a mis-timed tug. Akmal with a rusty stroke into the off-side for one before Broad follows Afridi again, clunking one into Afridi's lid. Slower-ball bumper to finish and Akmal swings him away and runs up two.
19th over - 118-4
Akmal with a single to leg before Siders sends down another one of these tennis-ball bouncers, the ball sticking in the pitch, and Afridi miscues another furious smite and picks up just one. Akmal tugs round the corner where Swann should have taken the catch - he can afford to smile, with the big-hitting Razzaq sat in the shelter - but Akmal does middle one at last, coming down the track and flailing Sidebottom to the long-on fence. Wide from Sidebottom and that's the first extra of the innings before Akmal smears to the leg-side again to nick the strike.
18th over - 108-4
Afridi comes over all Babe Ruth again and almost decapitates Broad, the ball bouncing out of the bowler's hands - the smile from Broad tells the story, couldn't really call it a chance. Afridi chips to long-on for a couple - fine fielding from Luke Wright, patting the ball back from the boundary rope - and Broad then sends down a lightning delivery that Afridi is unable to get a handle on. DROP! And that's a sitter, Afridi swinging to long-on where Wright shells the catch running in. Akmal with a flay through point for one, Afridi yet to flick the switch.
17th over - 102-4
Akmal smears Sidebottom to mid-wicket for one before Afridi looks to go over the top and picks up a single with a mis-cue. Akmal staggers outside off-stump and plays a peculiar stroke down to fine-leg for one before Afridi squeezes out a yorker for a single. Sidebottom with a tennis-ball bouncer and Afridi is unable to launch it and only picks up a single to long-on courtesy of a baseball heave.
16th over - 96-4
Afridi is off the mark with a punch into the covers for one and Akmal gives him back the strike. That's just the ticket from Afridi - two for a sweep and four for a correct-looking back-foot drive.
16th over - WICKET - Alam c&b Yardy 20 (88-4)
The end of a rather powder-puff knock from Alam, mis-timing back to bowler Yardy before storming off and giving his partner a volley...
15th over - 88-3
Sidebottom back into the attack after a rather expensive first over. Akmal moving to outside off again and popping over his head for a single. Slower ball from Siders and Alam misses with an airy heave, as if someone's spiked his bat with lead. Another rancid heave next ball and he misses again before Alam swats into the leg-side for a couple. The big-biffing Afridi and Razzaq sat watching this in the shelter, some of the most curious team selection I ever did see.
14th over - 84-3
Yardy to continue and Pakistan need someone to give it some hammer - not an easy task on this pitch. Cute shot from Akmal, scuttling outside off and scooping over his head, but that's great fielding from Broad, dragging the ball back after a full-length dive. Akmal cuts for a couple before dabbing to mid-wicket for one.
13th over - 77-3
Alam with a couple of braces off the first two balls of Swann's over before Swann strikes back with a ball that fizzes through and beats a belated flash. Akmal backs away but is followed by a big ripper from Swann, and that's that from Swanny - four overs, 14 dot balls, 2-14, you have to say that's magnificent.
12th over - 71-3
Collingwood's brought himself on, time for some dibbly-dobblies. Short and wide first up and Umar makes room and carves him down to third-man for four. Deary me, Bresnan's shelled a goober at mid-wicket - Akmal makes room and mis-times the pull and the Yorkshireman looks to be taken by surprise. Alam with the old 'pancake' flip over his head for a couple before bagging a single with a creaky-looking stroke over mid-off. Tough going at the moment for the batsmen...
11th over - 63-3
Swanny's turning it round corners at the moment and Alam is beaten by one that grips and zips a mile. Alam loses his balance and his bat attempting a slog-sweep but picks up a single to mid-wicket. This pair struggling to get the ball off the square at the moment, Swann's got the wood on them...
10th over - 61-3
Umar Akmal, who's sticking with this luminous green lipstick schtick of his, which seems a little bit wrong in the circumstances, survives the final ball of Swann's over. Fawad Alam slaps Yardy through the covers for a couple before picking up another brace. Alam looks for the sweep and is struck in the breadbasket - decent leg before appeal and HawkEye reckons it was hitting.
9th over - WICKET - Hasan st Davies b Swann 21 (Pak 56-3)
The left-handed Alam with a single before Hasan makes room and drives through the covers for three runs, nice fielding there from Bopara. And we've got another wicket, Hasan coming down the pitch and looking for some humpty, the ball turning and offering Davies the stumping chance.
Tully in the TMS inbox:
"After recovering the Mary Rose (Henry VIII's flagship), archaeologists were astounded to find that a sailor had managed to survive by hiding in a cupboard. They carefully opened the cupboard and the sailor's first words in over 500 years were: 'Is Chris Tavare off the mark yet?'"
8th over - 51-2
Time for 'The Dartist' - Michael Yardy. His first two balls are dots before Fawad Alam scores off the third. Yardy mixing up his pace and his final delivery is a real fizzer which Hasan is unable to get away - Pakistan becalmed...
7th over - WICKET - Yousuf c Morgan b Swann 26 (Pak 50-2)
Powerplay over, fielding restrictions relaxed, on comes Swann. Hasan scuttles down the track and skews Swann into the covers for one run before Yousuf gets in a right old pickle attempting a reverse sweep. Yousuf gone next ball, chipping Swann to Morgan at deep square-leg. Plenty of turn, another first-over scalp for Swann.
6th over - 49-1
Bresnan with a yorker and Yousuf does well to dig that out and scurry one. Hasan with a wild and windy woosh outside off and he's beaten before he misses another full-length delivery. Ugly old attempted heave from Hasan and he doesn't make contact again but he picks up a four from the next ball, a straight half-tracker. Better from Sidebottom at fine-leg, limiting Hasan to one.
Joe in the TMS inbox:
"I'll never forget what my Grandad said before he kicked the bucket. 'Son,' he said, 'how far do you think I can kick this bucket?'"
5th over - 43-1
Still no news on when the TMS audio or the video scorecard will be up and running, other than that it is being investigated. Sorry. Yousuf tickles Broad round the corner for four - that fielding wasn't much cop from Sidebottom to be honest. Broad bumps Yousuf and is uppercut for four - just a feather on that - before Mohammad 'Not sure it's his game' Yousuf plugs his ball down at long-off with another parachuted wedge for two more. Broad digs one in and Hasan glides him down to third-man for a couple more and the tourists are rattling along very nicely.
4th over - 30-1
Yousuf with a cheeky little wedge down to Cow Corner - check that man's bat for illegal grooves, there was back-spin on that. Three for the shot. Hasan with a skewed drive down to third-man for one before Yousuf comes over all Viv Richards, walking to outside off and hoisting Bresnan round the corner for four. One more for Yousuf with a dab to third-man, decent start for the tourists.
3rd over - 21-1
A gaggle of Oompa Loompas in at the Swalec - Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da, if you're not greedy, you will go far. You will live in happiness too. Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do. Broad into the attack now after only one over from Siders and Hasan dabs his first ball off his legs for one. A mis-timed pull from Yousuf for a couple before the old sage goes for a clump over cover but once again doesn't quite get it and the ball just clears Swann. One more mis-timed pull from Yousuf, not sure this is his game...
2nd over - 15-1
Mohammad Yousuf is next up the ramp and he's off the mark with a glide for one through point. Bresnan bustles in and Hasan flicks him off his hip for a couple. Astonishingly, this is only the 36-year-old Yousuf's second Twenty20 international...
2nd over - WICKET - K Akmal c Yardy b Bresnan 6 (Pak 13-1)
Bresnan sharing the new ball with Sidebottom. No swing at this stage but you don't need any with strokes like that - Akmal looking to give it some humpty and he skies one to Yardy at mid-on.
1st over - 12-0
Sidebottom with the new pill - wide and Kamran Akmal flays him over mid-off for a few. Shahzaib Hasan is Akmal's opening partner and he's off the mark straightaway with a steer through cover-point for four. Hasan with a deflection off his hip and Bresnan just misses with his shy. Not a great start from the Notts seamer, this time it's a half-tracker short of pace and Akmal yanks him away for three. Educated edge from Hasan for one, decent first over for Pakistan. By the way, you'll have to manually refresh to make this page what it should look like...
Sorry about the delayed start, we've got an RAF display team parachuting the ball onto the field. Not seen the like since Holyfield-Bowe II, although I should add that none of the parachutists got knocked unconscious on this occasion... players are out, play in a second...
Strato, waiting for hot water before showering, in the TMS inbox:
"Upon arriving at the pearly gates a gentleman is amazed to see a cricket match taking place. He tells St Peter that he didn't imagine there would be cricket in heaven. 'Well, it's kind of ironic really,' replies St Peter, 'God believes that he is Geoff Boycott'."
Plenty of emails coming in now, well done. I should just point out that I mistakenly put the teams in twice - manually refresh and one set will disappear. Looking forward to seeing young Davies bat - gives it the long handle, a clean hitter of the ball...
Carole in Maidenhead in the TMS inbox:
"I just googled 'cricket jokes' in an attempt to furnish you with some jolly quips, and make you think I was remarkably witty. I regret to inform you that I came across nothing but utter drivel. If you look yourself, you'll see I couldn't pass any of them off as my own. I have standards."
PD Collingwood (capt), JM Anderson, RS Bopara, TT Bresnan, SCJ Broad, SM Davies (wk), C Kieswetter, EJG Morgan, A Shahzad, RJ Sidebottom, GP Swann, LJ Wright, MH Yardy Pakistan:
Shahid Afridi (capt), Abdul Razzaq, Asad Shafiq, Azhar Ali, Fawad Alam, Kamran Akmal (wk), Mohammad Hafeez, Mohammad Irfan, Mohammad Yousuf, Saeed Ajmal, Shahzaib Hasan, Shoaib Akhtar, Umar Akmal, Umar Gul, Wahab Riaz
England have two wicketkeepers opening for them today - has that happened before? I don't recall Jack Russell and Bruce French ever opening up for their country... Steve Davies of Surrey is armed with the gauntlets rather than Craig Kieswetter of Somerset...
England win the toss and skipper Paul Collingwood opts to bowl first...
Big Dave H, Bicester, in the TMS inbox:
"I can smell my roast potatoes burning, so will have to pop off and turn them over. Sorry, I know its not relevant, but you sound lonely. Roast beef today, in case you are interested."
Rus, Sidcup, in the TMS inbox:
"I'm interested in the match, Ben. After all, it's Pakistan that's bringing the game into disrepute, not England. So there's no reason not to all still get behind our team!"
Martin (disappointed & passionate cricket fan) in Herefordshire:
"Have to say that cricket itself is now a joke, Ben."
I should let you know that we are beset on all sides by technical issues, so no video scorecard and no TMS audio at the moment - our best men and women are working on it... decent crowd in the Swalec, the romantic new mantel of what used to be called Sophia Gardens...
Out of interest, is anyone actually interested in this match? I only ask because this has been top of the site for 20 minutes and we haven't had one email in yet. "The world has almost run out of helium," says the man to my left. Damn those Essex wedding organisers...
From eltham-college-spin on 606:
"I won't be watching. I've never understood the attraction of Twenty20 and topped off with the match fixing allegations I can't be certain that I'll be watching/listening to an honest game. I'm not staying up into the wee hours for this. Roll on Ashes."
Anyway, all a bit depressing this week, but let us not sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the death of cricket - anyone got any good jokes? Preferably about cricket...
News reaches me that the toss will take place at 1430 BST and play will start at 1500 BST...
The match must be completed by 1830 BST, so we could still get a 20 overs a side match. Both teams are out and about - there's Shahid Afridi, Pakistan's skipper, grinning as usual. Of course, Shahid's got a bit of form for pitch and ball-tampering and his arrival on the scene reminds me of a great old story about former British PM Benjamin Disraeli being served up a dodgy meal: when the champagne arrived with the dessert he took one sip and sighed, "Thank God for something warm at last..."
Afternoon all. Rather appropriately, it's a dark, dank, portentous day in Cardiff - covers on, although rain has stopped and an inspection is due at 1415 BST and we could have play by 1500 BST...