Righto, time for me to head off but what a day's Test cricket that was: England 47-5 at one point, Mohammad Amir the youngest ever on the honours board at Lord's, complete carnage wherever you looked. And then came Trott and then came Broad - the partnership currently 244, the highest for England for the eighth wicket, the sixth-highest in Tests; Broad the third Englishman to score a ton batting at nine; Broad and dad Chris the first son and father combination to score Test tons for England. But the best stat for me is the fact that Stuart Broad had only scored one ton before today - for Leicestershire Under-19s against Derbyshire Under-19s - and that goes right back to his time at school. Night...
Phil Tufnell on Test Match Special:
"Pakistan will be sitting in their dressing room scratching their heads because they had England in all sorts of trouble but let it get away from them."
John in the TMS inbox:
"Are England batting at Lourdes?"
Farhat with the final over of the day... Vijay and Sanjay Manjrekar of India comes in from Amit Nayyar
... Trott cue-ends a wide one from Farhat and our old friend Manos de Piedra, Umar Akmal, lets it through his legs... that's that for the day England 346-7, one of the great Test match comebacks courtesy of an eighth-wicket partnership of 244...
Lala Amarnath and Surinder Amarnath of India, courtesy of Dhurander
- "more interestingly both did it on Test debut and never scored another after that." A couple of easy runs off Farhat's over, this is now the sixth-highest eighth-wicket partnership in Test history... Ajmal sends down the penultimate over of the day, one leg-bye off it...
Sorry, a few mistakes creeping in - someone just offered me a biscuit and I had to ask him what it was, despite him waving it a couple of inches from my face. Two singles from Ajmal's over... hand-break off, roll on Saturday...
Dwight, Wiltshire, in the TMS inbox:
"Man of the match goes to whoever came up with the Miandad gag first AND got it past you, Ben."
NOT OUT! Umpire Hill got that badly wrong, although I think everyone's a bit weary at this late stage in the day. Broad is now England's highest number nine, he's passed Gubby Allen's 122 made against New Zealand at Lord's in 1931...
1845 - 335-7
Trott clips Ajmal to mid-wicket for one, although it should have been nothing, that was more ragged fielding. Umpire Hill pulls the trigger! Ajmal with the doosra and Broad refers the lbw decision...
"This partnership will pass into cricketing folklore," says Aggers on TMS, "it will be one of those people talk about for years." Broad pushes down the ground for one and Trott helps himself to one of his own. We now have Walter and Richard Hadlee of New Zealand from Alastair in Coulsdon
This pair playing for time now, Trott pulling down the shutters on another Ajmal over...
Carl Evans in the TMS inbox:
"Re: Greg Wallace phwoaring. I have no doubt he would have stuck his finger in, but would also have missed his mouth."
Many thanks to Stephen Edwards who points out Dave and Dudley Nourse of South Africa also scored father and son Test tons. Big old heave from Broad, who's showing signs of fatigue, and the ball takes the inside edge and dribbles to fine-leg for no run... Farhat continues and Trott dabs off his pads for a single to move to 141. Broad beaten again by a Farhat straight one, England only need 16 more runs to set the new eighth-wicket record...
Farhat floats one down there and Broad misses with a waft - bails come off but Broad made his ground. Broad outfoxed again and this time he edges past Hameed at slip and moves to 121 courtesy of a streaky four. Broad all over the place in this over - this time he's looking to turn to leg, gets a leading edge and again Hameed is unable to cling onto the chance. Stick around Broady, stick around until stumps...
Jonathan Agnew on Twitter:
"Outstanding day of Test cricket. Amir 4/0. England 4 ducks. 47/5. 102/7. Now 300/7; much of it under lights."
Trott and Broad exchange singles off the bowling of Farhat as the Miandad gag begins to sink in... Me-and-Dad - forgive me, it's been an emotional stint at the keyboard... Ajmal with a strangled lbw appeal against Trott and that was a decent appeal, HawkEye reckoned it was hitting the top of off. Ajmal being milked as this England pair look to consolidate, two singles from his over...
Umpire Hill spot on again, that hit him outside the line and was going about six inches over. Two more singles from the over, as Justin Horton
emails it to point out that Hanif Mohammad and son Shoaib both scored Test tons for Pakistan...
Three for Trott courtesy of a neat little leg-side dab. Ajmal with the old doosra and Broad is rapped on the pad... we have a review...
Re father and sons Test centurions, we've already had plenty of suggestions. A few saying Javed Miandad and either father or son, although I'm not sure that's correct - he certainly had three brothers who played cricket, not sure about his dad. Also, Bill and John Edrich weren't father and son, but cousins... just one run from Farhat's over, Broad shutting up shop for the evening...
If that shot was a pudding Greg Wallace would be phwoaring a la Bernard Breslaw - foot to the pitch and Broad strokes Ajmal through the covers for three. Wallace would probably stick his finger in it. Change of bowling, it's Imran Farhat now, a part-time leggy. Trott pushes into the off-side for a single and Broad milks through square-leg for one.
This is England's third eighth-wicket partnership above 200 - the highest was 246 by Les Ames and the aforementioned Gubby Allen v New Zealand at Lord's in 1931. What a shot that is from Broad - too straight from Riaz and Broad whip-cracks him through mid-wicket for four glorious runs.
Philip Todd asks: "Have there been any father and sons that have played Test cricket where both have scored Test centuries before Broad Sr and Jr?" Dunno, but I'm sure there are people out there who do. Trott with a sliced drive for four off the bowling of Ajmal but he's very nearly undone next ball by the wrongun, the ball squaring him up and dribbling away for three. Correction - Broad scored nine fours, I was looking at Trott's stats.
1758 - 292-7
Broad - whose ton came off 159 balls and included 14 fours and one six - is the third England number nine to score a Test match ton for England after Gubby Allen in 1931 and John Murray in 1966. Two more runs from the rest of Riaz's over...
1755 - 290-7
Slip, gully and deep point and deep square-leg in for Broad on 98... THERE IT IS! Riaz the bowler, on leg stump, and the Notts ALL-ROUNDER clips him through mid-wicket for three. Magnificent innings, they were tough, tough runs - he came to the crease with England 102-7 and the partnership now stands at 189. Standing ovation, he deserves every last clap...
1753 - 287-7
Broad dabs off his pads and moves to 98 with a scampered single. Over in the TMS commentary box they're struggling to remember an England number nine making a Test century before - answers in the inbox please...
1751 - 286-7
Sir Boycott the seer is already sensing trouble ahead for Trott this winter - "Ponting and Co will be right in his ear if he carries on with this routine, they should just turn round and bowl a bouncer at him even if he's not ready..." Trott almost chucks his wicket away, mistiming a pull off the bowling of Amir...
1748 - 284-7
Sorry about that, a few technical issues, but all I need to tell you is Broad moved to within one smite of reaching his maiden first-class ton with an off-drive for one...
1740 - 279-7
Amir sends a jolt through Broad with a delivery that locates the edge of his bat - Broad straightens up, eyes front, as the ball flies over the slips and away for four. Stuart is now the highest-scoring Broad at Lord's - his dad Chris posted 86 v Sri Lanka in 1984. Broad on 90 but he'll have to cut that nonsense out if he's to make his first first-class ton - his highest score as it stands is 91. He matches it with a nurdle off his pads...
Derek in Grand Cayman in the TMS inbox:
"Trying to remain poker faced and interested in a meeting whilst reading your commentary and BBMing my son Chris at the ground. Difficult but getting away with it thus far."
1733 - 272-7
Trott is rapped on the pad by Asif but Umpire Hill presumably thought he was too far down the pitch and it was probably going over - and that it was. The sun has gone in and the clouds are billowing in, not sure we'll get all those overs this evening...
Ed Jones in the TMS inbox:
"Rather regrettably, Catherine has, I am sure unwittingly, omitted to mention that opera is also about deaf, dumb and blind kids playing pinball and ageing Swedish actresses writhing around in baked beans."
1728 - 270-7
Amir with a well-directed bouncer and Trott plays it well, keep his eyes on the ball and swaying out of the firing line. One for Trott to deep square-leg before Broad has a woosh outside off and is beaten - bit of movement away from the bat there from Amir. Call it a lack of cloud cover, call it an iffy cherry, whatever you call it, there's not much happening with the new ball out there.
Aaron Bell in the TMS inbox:
"Broad only needs six wickets for 100 - has anyone achieved the twin milestones of 1000 runs and 100 wickets in the same Test before?"
1724 - 269-7
The good news is there are still 28 overs to play this evening. The bad news is I've got to stick around late and write about it... only joking, I ruddy love you guys... Broad opens his shoulders and drives through the off-side but that's a fine stop by Umar Akmal sprawling to his right.
1719 - 264-7
Amir to continue and Trott yanks him down to long-leg for a brace. One more for Trott with a dab off his pads before Broad helps an angled delivery round the corner for a single. A deep point and a deep square-leg out there now and you have to think that's a little defensive, England are, after all, 264-7...
1715 - 259-7
Asif with a whiff of swing back into the left-hander but Broad keeps it out before Asif makes one talk, the ball swinging into Broad before darting back the other way and just missing the top of off. Broad brings up the 150 partnership with a waft down to fine-leg before Trott nicks a crafty two with a dink to mid-wicket. Lip-smacking four from Trott, carving Asif through point with the minimum of effort, and he nicks the strike with a clip to leg.
Catherine in the TMS inbox:
"Opera isn't all that high-brow. It's all sex, violence, blood, guts and outrage. And maybe a dash of politics, if it's Verdi. However, this match is more like John Adams, all repetitive patterns of varying aesthetic merit."
1710 - 251-7
Butt not taking the new ball yet, Riaz to continue with the mouldy old one. One for Trott before Riaz sends down a bouncer and Broad declines the offer. A Riaz leg-side wide brings up the England 250 before Broad fends into the off-side for one. Out comes the new cherry, we'll have Mohammads from both ends...
Chris Chappell in the TMS inbox:
"'Ricky' may well be on the blacklist but 'Rickie' is enjoying a surge in Rochdale, Southampton and the blue and white quartered half of Bristol due to the sublime and plentiful goals of Lambert."
1704 - 248-7
It's shades o'clock now at Lord's as Ajmal gets one through the Broad defences. Cute little shot from Broad and there are four more and that's 1,000 Test runs and his highest Test score - the previous highest was 76 against South Africa at Lord's in 2008. Broad frees his arms and swings Ajmal over mid-wicket for four more and the new ball is now available.
1700 - 239-7
Pretty bright out there now and when conditions change like this you start to muse on the vicissitudes on this great game - it's like watching your opponent rack up a 100 break at snooker before walking to the table yourself and the overhead sprinkler immediately going off. A bit. Broad really warming to his task now - first he piles into a ball in the slot outside off before drilling Riaz down the ground for a classy on-drive - two successive fours, he's now on 70. Riaz digs one in and Broad misses out with an attempted uppercut. Butt shuffles his cards before the final ball of the over - third-man coming in, but there's no gully and Broad fends into open space where gully would have been.
1652 - 229-7
As magnificent a hundred as that was from Jonathan Trott, some of the gloss has been taken off it as Umpire Hill has seemingly reported him to Umpire Bowden for a bit of batsman-to-bowler sledging - not since the days of IVA Richards have we seen the like... slower ball from Amir and Trott is bamboozled, walking down the track and missing with an airy waft...
1647 - 229-7
You'll have to manually refresh by the way to make my name appear at the top of this page... Broad very nearly run out by short-leg but he just manages to collapse back into his crease. Single for Broad brings Trott onto strike and there's his ton courtesy of a dab to mid-on - lid off, twirl of the bat, he's happy with that, it's his third in Test cricket. Bizarrely, that ended up being a five, Umar Manos de Piedra' Akmal with four overthrows.
1643 - 223-7
Many thanks Samantha, Ben Dirs back in the slightly nauseatingly warm seat. Not much happening in that over from Ajmal and now here's Amir to Trott, who's four away from his ton... is that it? No, he moves to 99 with a drive, someone just able to take the sting off the stroke. Broad tickles to long-leg for a couple and what a shot that is next-up, the Notts all-rounder - I guess we can start calling him that again - lofting Amir over mid-off for four. That's England's highest eighth-wicket stand against Pakistan - and there's his reward, some music round the chops. Broad moves to 60 with a tug round the corner and that takes the stand to 125. The previous record, by the way, was 119 - at The Oval last week...
1636 - 212-7
Pakistan starting to look ship-shod in the field again, Stuart Broad's firm push allowed to slip through the covers to gift the left-hander a couple. Broad follows up with a couple of wafts at wide Mohammad Amir deliveries and he is fortunate not to get any bat on either. He curses himself under his breath, counts his blessings, and then skews the last ball of the over short of the fielder at mid-wicket. Treading a thin line, the Broadster. Anyway, that's me and my little cameo done - I'll hand you back to Benjamin 'No Middle Name' Dirs
. See ya.
D Burford in the TMS inbox:
"Trott has defiantly secured his place on the plane for Australia. The way the rest of them are batting he may be able to take his wife and kids."
1631 - 209-7
And a more than handy knock from Stuart Broad, too, who brings up his sixth Test 50 - and first in a year - with a lofted drive over midwicket for four. Broady's top score was made on this ground, a 76 against South Africa in 2008.
1628 - 205-7
Jonathan Trott cuts firmly towards the point boundary to kick the over off with a three and bring up England's 200 - woopdedoo - and when a Stuart Broad single brings him back on strike, the number three slaps another doozy through midwicket on the up for four. That's also the 100 partnership, off 198 balls. Masterful innings so far from Trotty.
George, London, in the TMS inbox:
"RE: 'ref Oliver Brett on live text: Verdi Requiem, perhaps. Nothing reverential about a Verdi opera.' Again with the high brow.... tut tut."
1624 - 197-7
A Saeed Ajmal top-spinner again catches Stuart Broad on the pads - it's too high, though - and the spinner then gets one through the left-hander's defence with a doosra - it's caught by Kamran Akmal, who has kept well since his return to the side - holds the catch, but it brushed only the pad.
1621 - 195-7
Jonathan Trott - who averages 345 on this ground, which isn't too bad I suppose - cracks Mohammad Asif away off his pads with a classic piece of timing to bring up the first boundary of the session, before stepping down the wicket and punching another beauty through mid-wicket. Mohammad Amir could've done better, but it flies past his outstretched hand.
1617 - 187-7
Another Saeed Ajmal over, another Jonathan Trott single, England continue to tick along.
1614 - 186-7
Umpire Billy Bowden has a word in Jonathan Trott's shell-like, ordering the number three to get on with it. Of course, it being Billy, he does with more histrionics than you'd find in a French World Cup squad. Trott gets the message, though, and pushes Mohammad Asif away from a single through the covers for the first run of the evening session. Umar Akmal is getting involved in the chat, now - his English has improved emphatically by the sound of things. Though he appears to have been learning the language from watching Ray Winstone films, judging by the language. That lbw shout against Stuart Broad earlier, by the way, was going over the top replays show. Good decision.
1610 - 185-7
Saeed Ajmal continues from the Nursery End and he screams like a banshee when he raps Stuart Broad on the pads with the doosra - umpire Tony Hill is having none of it, though, and Pakistan skipper Salman Butt won't refer it. Looked a good shout that to me, why's he not referred it?
1607 - 185-7
Ball still hooping about all over the place out there - only serving to underline just how well this pair have batted - but Jonathan Trott is displaying granite-plinth resolve here and dead-bats his way through a maiden.
Y'alright folks. If you could do the manual refresh necessaries for me all should be in order in terms of who wrote what 'n that. Lovely. Players out, floodlights on, we'll be up and running shortly.
1544 - 185-7
SIX! Amir digs one in and Broad closes his eyes and hopes for the best, a la Botham at Headingley. Ooh! Deary me, Broad's got one in the old soap dish for his troubles next ball - not a lot of sympathy from the Pakistanis. Not sure anyone would say sorry even if it fell off, Broad really has been a thorn in Pakistan's side. A single for Trott who is now 77 and that's that for now, time for tea - Sam Lyon
for a spell after tea, see you later...
1538 - 176-7
Decent lbw appeal from Pakistan, although Ajmal was a bit late to the party - it was bat first, but probably missing leg. Trott nicks the strike with a tickle to deep square-leg as news reaches me that the lighthouse keeper from Muckle Flugga lighthouse in Shetland will be speaking to Aggers on TMS at tea.
1535 - 175-7
Butt has seen enough of that, it's Amir back off the leash. Trott tucks off his mid-riff for one and that was a pretty drama-free over, certainly by his standards.
Neil Foot, Leamington Spa, in the TMS inbox:
"Collingwood strikes me as a 24/7 petrol station - he usually comes good after 4 o'clock on a Sunday when there is nowhere else left to turn."
1533 - 174-7
A couple of desperate sounding lbw appeals against Broad but that second one was missing by a yard. Broad tries to paddle from outside off and the ball ricochets over the wicketkeeper's head and runs away for four. Broad now 39 - he hasn't made a fifty since the Ashes last summer.
1530 - 170-7
Pearler from Riaz, the ball spitting off a length and leaving the groping Trott. More shoddy fielding, this time from Asif at mid-wicket, and Trott takes advantage - Butt needs to get a handle on things out there, they've rather released the thumb screws at the moment, ducked out of the torture chamber and stuck the kettle on for a nice cup of tea. Over-pitched from Riaz and Trott punches him to the wide long-off fence for four. Yousuf the man in pursuit, looking like a man running through thick-cut marmalade.
Genghis Adolf Clough in the TMS inbox:
"I'm pretty sure Eastenders has already sealed the fate of the name Ricky."
1524 - 164-7
A slip and a silly-point in for Broad as Ajmal continues from the Pavilion End. Broad chips over the in-field, reading the doosra but not middling it - two for the shot. This time Broad doesn't read it and he very nearly drags on from outside off...
1521 - 162-7
Signs that Pakistan have become a bit ragged and also a tad defensive - the odd fielding error, persevering with their second-string bowlers, England must make them pay. Broad chips off his toes for one before Trott plays a rare false stroke, wafting at a ball angled across. First sniff Pakistan have had for a while.
1518 - 161-7
Ropey piece of fielding Umar Akmal at mid-off and England nick a single - not sure what's up with the hands in the Akmal family, it's like they've both got feet attached to the ends of their arms. Caught behind appeal against Trott, who was looking to nibble round the corner, but Umpire Hill says no and there's no appeal...
Nick, Watford, in the TMS inbox:
"To Carl Sutton, Kegworth (see below) - it's all changed. Swann is the new Botham, Broad is the new Swann, Pietersen is the new Cook and Morgan is the new Pietersen."
1515 - 160-7
Broad struggling to pierce the field, continually finding the fielders with text-book strokes. He does pick up one with a tall, back-foot drive before Trott bags a couple with a work off his hip. Massive partnership this, I may well see some cricket on Sunday, and my father might too...
1510 - 157-7
Broad stays back to Ajmal and that's a cheeky two to mid-wicket for Broad - that's the 50 partnership, from 99 balls. Broad sweeps uppishly for one more to move to 29 before Trott cuffs a short, wide one from Ajmal for four. Butt may well have seen enough of this, perhaps time again for Mohammads from both ends.
Chris Hudson in the TMS inbox:
"What I wouldn't give to have TESCOthick back at the top of the order."
1505 - 150-7
Riaz sending down juicy tempters outside off-stump but Trott remaining circumspect. Riaz pitching it up now but still Trott not biting - and when he does have to play, he's playing it late rather than feeling for the ball. "Surely our middle order is a little like McDonalds," quips Chris Brunning via email, "imported from overseas, while Collingwood remains steadfast as Wimpy."
1502 - 150-7
Broad a nice mix of attack and watchfulness at the moment as he slices a drive past the man at first slip. I'll shut up now. Not many doosras today from Ajmal and so nothing really to pick so far and Broad plays a sand wedge to long-on for a couple. If Australia do beat us 5-0 this winter, will Ricky as a name die out in England, a bit like Adolf?
1459 - 146-7
Riaz angling the ball across the right-handed Trott and Trott having none of it. No-ball from Riaz before Trott pushes to leg for one and Broad follows up with a similar stroke for one more...
Robert in the TMS inbox:
"I fear Alastair Cook has the touch of the dodgy kebab shop about him - you know he won't do you much good, but you keep going because there's really no alternative."
1454 - 143-7
Extravagant turn from Ajmal and the ball beats everyone and races away for... dead ball, flicked Broad's pad. Good running from Broad and they force some panicky fielding, with Akmal giving up an overthrow after a decent enough throw from Amir. Riaz to continue...
1450 - 141-7
Riaz digs one in and Broad has a swat at it, like a man trying to swat an angry hornet, and misses. Something or someone has upset Riaz - another bumper which Broad leaves before the Notts left-hander drags a drive to mid-on for no run. Slower ball from Riaz now and Broad dabs him to fine-leg for one.
Andy, Botswana, in the TMS inbox:
"To combine the retail and Russian themes may I draw your attention to KP's resemblance to a Soviet-era GUM store - impressive on the outside, frequently bare inside
Bob Leather in the TMS inbox:
"Isn't it more like a row of charity shops? Or given that we're selling our wickets cheap, perhaps it should be Poundland."
1443 - 139-7
Ajmal into the attack now and the appearance is of a night match at Lord's. Leg-bye off the pad of Trott before Broad plays a pre-meditated paddle for one more. CMJ making Trott-Cowdrey comparisons on TMS as they break for drinks...
John in Bucks in the TMS inbox:
"Boycott would have been an old village store still standing after all the rest have been knocked down. Pietersen simply ASDA play better."
1440 - 137-7
We have a leg before appeal from Pakistan - no, they decide against it, and rightly so, it was only just clipping the top of off. Lively from Riaz, getting it above 90mph, and that's stung the gloves of Akmal behind the timbers. Broad cue-ends into the off-side for a single and Trott nicks the strike from the final ball of the over.
Julien Lake in the TMS inbox:
"Ah, that's what we need. None of this guff about dead Russians. Retail comparisons are what the man in the street can really relate to. Trott is a bit like M&S, sometimes good, sometimes not, not that exciting but always there."
1433 - 135-7
Trott tickles Asif down to fine-leg for one as the lights are inflamed before Broad drives solidly for one. "Broad batting like a millionaire," coos Aggers on TMS, forgetting that he probably is one. Yousuf the man at mid-off, falling to the floor with all the elegance of a stack of Jenga bricks. Sweet shot from Trott, flicking a too-straight delivery from Asif through mid-wicket for four.
Carl Sutton, Kegworth, Leics in the TMS inbox:
"Can anyone explain why Swann is now batting ahead of Broad? I was under the impression that Broad had been earmarked as our next Ian Botham."
1429 - 120-7
Broad with a brace off his legs before Broad piles into a widish delivery from Riaz, driving squarely and sweetly for four. Yorker from Riaz and he thinks it's leg before - it was missing leg by a couple of feet. Two more for Broad with a flapped drive through point and it was a no-ball to boot.
1424 - 120-7
Bit gloomy now overhead and someone's made the floodlights erect - might not be long until they're switched on. Asif darts one back in to Trott but that was missing leg. "For as long as I've been coming here I can't remember duck being served," says Aggers on TMS, "and today it was and we've had four of them on the card..."
Steve, Sussex, in the TMS inbox:
"Re: shops - in that case Trott would be Lush - currently stopping England from completely stinking."
1420 - 119-7
Two for Trott with a paddled pull and there's a couple more for the Warwickshire man with a clip off his pads. A no-ball in that over as well, as Blowers muses on the radio about "succulent double-deckers..."
1416 - 114-7
Amir mixing things up, dragging one down and sticking Broad on his backside. Daggers from Amir, this England pair need to remind him he's only 18. A belated 50 graphic for Trott - apologies, it's been a nuggety effort. Attractive cover-drive from Broad and he gets a couple for it. This England puts me in mind of a row of shops: Collingwood the generations-old DIY store to whom a fallow few months might be fatal; Pietersen the zeitgeisty fashion store that had everyone chatting when first it opened but some now find deeply uncool; Morgan with plenty in the shop window - but how much has he actually got round the back?
Christopher Little in the TMS inbox:
"Let's not get carried away here everybody - Amir is obviously bowling well, but he may well get through his entire career and not bowl in conditions more suited to him than these. Let's see how England bowl on this pitch - if they bowl well a first innings lead may still be a possibility!"
1411 - 112-7
Trott batting outside his crease as the vultures behind the stumps continue to chatter. Leg before appeal from Asif against Trott - Butt and Asif consider reviewing, but it was going over.
1407 - 112-7
This 'Yates's Wine Lodge' (see below), do they still do Chateau Lafite Rothschild Pauillac? For me and my mates it was always that or blue WKD. Trott with an edge but he gets a slice of luck and the ball races through imaginary third slip and away for four. No idea why there's no third slip, he's 6-30. And there's Trott's fifty, his fifth in Tests, courtesy of a pat into the leg-side. Fine dig that, England would be buried without him.
1402 - 107-7
Mohammads now from both ends, with Asif recalled to the attack. Attractive off-drive from Broad but that's superb diving stop from Butt - all-run four! Don't see that much nowadays. Surely time to give it some humpty, thinks Phil Tufnell on TMS - "no point in hanging around, there's bound to be one round the corner with your name on..."
1358 - 103-7
Broad gets a fullish ball first up and squeezes it to leg for one. Amir is indeed the youngest man on either honour's board, batsman or bowler. "The best of his age there's ever been, probably," says wise old owl Christopher Martin-Jenkins.
1356 - 102-7
It just keeps getting better for Mohammad Amir - 6-29 so far, and he's got two balls left in this over... Broad next in...
1353 - WICKET - Swann c Azhar b Amir 0 (Eng 102-7)
Swann's next out of the hutch... and he's back in again, pushing out at his second ball faced and squirting a low catch to Azhar at gully...
1350 - WICKET - Prior c K Akmal b Amir 22 (Eng 102-6)
Thought that might happen - Amir pushes one up the hill, having swung a couple back, and Prior is bamboozled, nicking to Akmal behind the stumps. The 18-year-old falls to his knees and gives thanks and praise - up on the honours, can't be anyone younger than him.
1347 - 102-5
Riaz, not Asif, to continue and that's too straight and Prior tucks him away for the first single since lunch. Umpire Bowden has switched sides - now standing behind Umar Akmal at point - presumably to keep a closer ear out for some of his chat. Unusual, not often you see that. Swing from Riaz but Trott covers it and punches down the ground for four to bring up the ton.
Lenny, Mauritius, in the TMS inbox:
"Earnie Shavers (see below) was a bouncer at Yates's Wine Lodge in Liverpool last time I was there. Proper gent and a handshake that would leave you reduced to a southpaw pint at the bar."
1343 - 97-5
Amir has returned after his rest and he has two slips and a gully in for Trott. Three going the other way, leaving the right-hander, and Trott's having none of it. First over after lunch safely negotiated.
... players back out, play in a minute...
Mark, Brighton, in the TMS inbox:
"In baseball, no matter how big a name you are, if you're not performing or coming back from injury, you get sent down to the 'Minors' (the farm team of each Major League side) to correct your technique, attitude etc or to simply get your eye back in. Pietersen and a couple of others (Cook, Collingwood, Morgan) could do with something similar right now."
Mark, Brighton, in the TMS inbox:
"Amongst all the KP bashing how does Collingwood escape any criticism? Every summer he plays four or five terrible Tests only to save himself with a last ditch score which then has everybody saying 'how can you leave this fighter out?' That is the biggest load of baloney ever and this year he seems to be repeating the process. What has he scored this year? If anyone is to be replaced by Ian Bell then surely it should be Collingwood."
Barry from Hampshire in the TMS inbox:
"Michael Vaughan is mistaken. Both Trott and Prior have played some county cricket this summer. Trott had 11 innings for Warwickshire, average 37, with one century and three fifties. Prior batted 10 times for Sussex, average 32, with one hundred. Not great but better than nothing. In contrast when Collingwood bats in England's second innings it will be only his eighth first-class innings this season."
Graham, Barcelona, in the TMS Inbox:
"In my opinion, Pietersen is more like a petulant, dilettante schoolboy rather than the proverbial 'bully', in that his attitude seems to be 'this is the way I do it, whether you like it or not!'"
Richard, Manchester, in the TMS Inbox:
"Before people start worrying about Australia you have to consider the fact that our current batting collapses are predominantly down to the swinging ball and cloudy conditions. In Australia the bowl will swing nowhere near as much or for long. The worrying fact is the mentality of the batsmen and the England team. Having blown Pakistan away in the first two Test matches complacency has certainly been an element. This mental predicament might lose England the Ashes before a ball is bowled."
Jeff Barnes in the TMS Inbox:
"Ponting's statement that 'England are vulnerable' doesn't seem to be just mind games anymore."
1303 - 97-5
Hameed, in case you're wondering, is strictly military and Kamran is very much standing up to the stumps. Prior gently pats back the first five balls of the over before squirting and edge - but the ball lands well short of the slip cordon. Not much in the way of chin music there, which reminds me of a great old quote I heard recently from former heavyweight James 'Quick' Tillis: (on the massive-punching Earnie Shavers) "He hit me so hard, I thought I was in the corner smoking a cigarette and eating a Spam sandwich." Lunch - STOP EMAILING FOR 40 MINUTES!
1257 - 97-5
Paddle sweep from Prior off Ajmal and there are two more singles from the over. The final delivery fizzes through, Trott thinks about having a cut, but decides against it... Hameed Pakistan's secret weapon before lunch...
1252 - 94-5
That's a smashing stroke from Trott - foot to the pitch, an understated flash of the blade, florid follow-through and it's a four all the way. Far be it for me to disagree with a former England skipper, but I'm not sure I agree with Vaughany (see below) - it may well be KP's thought processes, but surely you correct faulty thought processes by going back to county cricket and getting some time in the middle? It's like a golfer only playing majors and World Golf Championship events - they're the bigguns, but you tune up for the bigguns by playing the smalluns.
Former England captain Michael Vaughan on Test Match Special:
"Kevin will play in the one-day series. He'll probably play a little bit better in that form of the game. It isn't his technique that's the problem, it's his thought processes, and that's more of a concern. I don't agree that he should play county cricket. Matt Prior and Jonathan Trott haven't had that much county cricket but are playing nicely."
1249 - 90-5
Ajmal, on from the Pavilion End, posts a slip and a forward short-leg and Prior drops to one knee and paddles over his shoulder for one... hmmm... four for Trott, who makes room and steers to third-man, the ball beating Yousuf to the rope - the old fella looked like he was pulling a sledge. Not a great first over from Ajmal, but can this pair make it to lunch? A wicket would be massive.
1245 - 84-5
Riaz switches to round the wicket in an attempt to fix his line. Prior steers a no-ball through backward-point for one before Trott plays a rather ugly poke into the odd-side for nothing. Filling out at Lord's as the clouds disperse, time for some Saeed Ajmal - that's all England need, a 'mystery' bowler...
1240 - 81-5
One for Trott with a nibble to leg before Asif gives Prior width but it's not accepted. Prior drives rather unconvincingly but it's cut off at mid-off. "If you can play, you can play, it's just that his thought processes are all wrong - to have a wild drive at a wide one just shows his mind is all cluttered," says former England skipper Michael Vaughan. More from him in a minute, and I'm not sure I agree with him...
1235 - 80-5
A thousand Test runs for Trott with a clip to leg - ripple of applause, like scoring your hundredth Premier League goal to make the score 8-1 to the visitors. Prior watchful, and that's the way we want him to be, at least until stumps.
1230 - 79-5
Asif pushes another one up the slope and Prior is beaten again, but Asif takes his foot off Prior's neck for a second and is punished, the ball disappearing towards the mid-wicket fence. Lots of jaw-jaw out there now, not sure Pakistan are too happy with some of the England batsmen's stalling tactics. Four from the over, Asif has now bowled non-stop for 90 minutes...
1226 - 75-5
Trott tapping away between deliveries but it's not putting Riaz off, the left-hander ploughing a deep furrow outside Trott's off-stump. Maiden from Riaz, not sure what all that tapping was about. Personally I find Pietersen's current predicament rather sad - it's like bumping into an old bully from school only to discover they've gone all humble. And you think to yourself, "shame, he was a lot more fun when he was ripping the badge of your blazer and punching you in the spuds for no apparent reason".
John Cranna, Abergavenny, in the TMS inbox:
"Could you please tell Phil Tufnell how pleased I was to shake his hand yesterday when he had popped out for a ciggie (at base of the Media Centre). He was courtesy personified and I am sure he has to fend off numerous star-struck people like me and he was very gracious as I mumbled a 'thank you for giving me so much enjoyment'."
1223 - 75-5
(see below), you are not - judging by my inbox KP currently might be more unpopular than the Phantom Cat Binner of Old Coventry Town. The sun trying to get through the clouds now as Asif saunters into the crease and that's another peach, the ball hooping in before gripping and cutting away. Done him again - batting looks easier but not that much easier.
Andrew, Chippenham, in the TMS inbox:
"Surely I am not the first person to vent my anger on the unnecessary, pointless and excessive shot Kevin Pietersen played? What a disgraceful shot in these conditions from someone who is meant to be one of the world's best batsmen. Undeniably a very talented player but he really needs to think more. I expect the English batsmen cannot wait to get to the flat, seamless pitches of Australia."
1218 - 74-5
Riaz beats Prior, and not for the first time, with a sharp rising delivery before dragging what appeared to be a slower ball down leg. Prior smothers the rest of the over after sawdust is sprinkled into the bowler's footmarks and the inquisition continues...
1214 - 74-5
Asif scrambling the seam and Trott, thrusting forward, is struck on the pad but it was outside the line. A streaky brace down to third-man for Trott before Umar Akmal gives him a few verbals and Trott sends a few barbs back - spicy, very spicy, and I like it a lot. Not sure what language Akmal was speaking - Rameez Raja on TMS says he doesn't speak English - but I'm pretty sure Trott was dealing in old-fashioned Anglo-Saxon.
Gus (wishing Ian Bell the swiftest of recoveries), Norwich in the TMS inbox:
"Re Will Collins below - If Amir was English he would have been sent away for strengthening rather than learning how to bowl."
1210 - 72-5
The first bowling change of the day with Wahab Riaz into the attack - only his second Test but he looked quite handy in his first one. He's more of a dig-it-in merchant than the two Mohammads and as if to demonstrate the fact he drags one down and Trott paddles him round the corner for one. Riaz, a left-hander, getting plenty of bounce and Prior is beaten by a beauty outside off. Riaz angles another across Prior and Prior, like Trott a couple of overs back and KP before him, has a wild and windy waft at it and misses.
Will Collins, Yorkshire, in the TMS inbox:
"What a bowler Amir is. Fortunately for him he's not English, otherwise he'd get homesick, or lose interest in the game, or lose all his confidence for no reason or his arm'd drop off or something. Always seems to happen to the really good English quicks."
1201 - 69-5
Apologies, I forgot to update the scores for the last couple of updates, you'll see them updated if you manually update the page. "They look a little more comfortable," says Sir Boycott - not me, Sir Boycott... Amir pushes one up the hill and Prior, like a man groping for a light switch in the dark, is beaten again.
EK, Barons Court, in the TMS inbox:
"Worth sharing another Keith Miller quote: on his Ashes debut, in 1946-47, Miller refused to follow his captain Don Bradman's instructions to bowl bouncers at Bill Edrich. 'I'd just fought a war with this bloke,' Miller said. 'I wasn't going to knock his head off.' What a man."
Former England opener Geoffrey Boycott on Test Match Special:
"They don't play enough proper cricket. They play swashbuckling Twenty20, 50 over and Tests but don't have any matches in between Tests where they can play for their counties in slightly less pressurised situations and spend time in the middle."
1157 - 68-5
One more to the total as Asif oversteps before Prior is beaten by a snaking delivery that pitches on middle and slithers away... and again...
Chris in Brentwood in the TMS inbox:
"Speaking as a fellow Brentwoodian (or Old Brentwood) - if you are relying on the Brentwood Gazette to report your demise, you'll have a long wait, as they firstly need to 'borrow' the story off a national and then get the facts wrong anyway. So basically, no-one will know about you for months."
Rachel in the TMS inbox:
"Thought I would lift my leg up with England on 55-5, but being 8.5 months pregnant, and how slowly we are scoring runs, I don't think I'll bother. Hopefully won't result in another wicket."
1152 - 67-5
Prior picks up two more with a work off his toes and another three with an elegant glide to third-man. But that's a rancid stroke from Trott, piling into a ball angled across him, a la Pietersen. "That was a wicked stroke," says Blowers on TMS, and I don't think he's employing the word in its modern 'yoof' sense. Trott nurdles to mid-wicket for a couple...
Adeel, a really happy Pakistani, Manchester in the TMS inbox:
"You have to keep reminding yourself that all this is being done by an 18 year old lad! What a start for Pakistan! I can't even remember what I was doing when I was 18!"
1147 - 60-5
Prior goes back when perhaps he should have gone forward and Asif locates his edge and the ball squirts under Butt at first slip and runs away for four. Four slips in for Prior and the Sussex gloveman steals the strike with a single off his hip.
BBC Sport's Oliver Brett at Lord's on Twitter:
"Clever of the ECB to put up England's batting coach to talk to the media the day before this fiasco. Ingenious pre-emptive move, but what can you do about Amir? He's 18 and doing this! Outstanding stuff. Swings it just enough to take the edge almost every time."
1143 - 55-5
Trott squared-up and beaten again by Amir as Sir Boycs gets on one about the England players not playing enough county cricket. Trott fends a hostile ball to leg for one but that was a massive no-ball. Almost every delivery is a grenade at the moment, I haven't seen swing bowling of this quality for many a year, and another beats Prior's blade by a whisker. Prior is finally off the mark with a nervous poke to leg. Huge pressure for this pair, although they might want to remind themselves of that sage old quote from the great Aussie all-rounder Keith Miller: "Pressure is a Messerschmitt up your backside, playing cricket is not." Saying that, I get butterflies teeing off in front of more than two other people.
Mike, Cheshire, in the TMS inbox:
"Watching Amir rip through the batting is like watching a young Ian Botham - he really is that good!"
1135 - 52-5
This Pakistan attack is really messing with the England batsmen's minds - Trott goes sauntering down the pitch like a man looking to step on a discarded cigarette and is beaten by a lifter from Asif. That is crackerjack bowling from Asif, the ball pitching middle and leg and beating Prior outside off. Just a reminder that BBC Sport's Oliver Brett
is at Lord's on the website's behalf, Tweeting throughout as well as providing more in-depth blogs at the end of each day's play. I see Oliver has 2,208 followers now, which is splendid. That said, I sometimes think to myself, in my light-hearted moments, that I could die in my flat and no-one would find me for days - and then they'd say in a newspaper (probably the Brentwood Gazette): 450 friends on Facebook and not one of them knew he was dead...
1130 - 51-5
The man at gully immediately called for a review, which suggested he didn't think he'd caught it clean, and the man upstairs agreed - inconclusive, the cameras didn't really show what happened either way. FIFTY UP FOR ENGLAND! Courtesy of a skewed outside edge between third slip and gully from Prior...
Dave Shirking, Cardiff, in the TMS inbox:
"The way this is shaping up there's more chance of Asil Nadir becoming the new head of the SFO than England winning this Test."
1127 - 47-5
Anyone who has a lie-in this morning, which looks like half those with tickets, will be asking what the ruddy heck has been going on as they saunter into the ground - just eight runs today, four wickets down. Prior, the only England batsman in any kind of nick at the moment, joins Trott in the torture chamber - we've got another review, Prior skewing a drive to the man at gully, but we're not sure if it carried...
1122 - WICKET - Morgan c Hameed b Amir 0 (Eng 47-5)
... and another - Morgan the victim of another absolute huckleberry of a delivery from Amir and edging to Hameed, who takes a sweet catch at second slip - Amir now has 4-0 from eight deliveries...
Nick Taplin in the TMS inbox:
"Can I be the first to thank Oliver Brett for pointing out that Amir 'isn't so good at swinging it the other way', thereby guaranteeing him a double wicket maiden next over?"
1120 - 47-4
A RUN! FOUR OF THEM! Very deliberate cover-drive from Jonathan Trott, just ushering the ball to the boundary, hand on backside. AND FOUR MORE! Similar shot, but Asif won't be too bothered by that - it's dangerous driving weather...
1116 - 39-4
Eoin Morgan is next out of the hutch, the left-hander of Middlesex, and he survives the over, just squeezing a straight delivery off his pads. To borrow a phrase from Barry Davies on another occasion of England disaster - you have to say that was magnificent bowling, this lad excites me...
1114 - WICKET - Collingwood lbw b Amir 0 (Eng 39-4)
Hat-trick ball... Collingwood blocks it and receives a ripple from a rather stunned Lord's crowd. This is very hairy stuff for the England batsmen, and now it's Collingwood's turn in the dentist's chair - ripper of a delivery, swinging into the right-hander and hitting the batsman bang in front... Umpire Bowden doesn't give it, Pakistan review and the man upstairs gives it out... no runs this morning, three wickets down...
1109 - WICKET - Pietersen c K Akmal b Amir 0 (Eng 39-3)
It's a first-baller for Pietersen I'm afraid to report - a ball full of length angling across the right-hander and Pietersen attempts to drive - a nick and an edge and a regulation catch...
1107 - 39-2
It's KP next up the ramp and this boy, like almost every boy in the England line-up, needs a few runs. It's Asif to Trott though and that's a beauty, the ball shaping back in before darting away and rapping the batsman on the thigh pad. Pakistan all over England here like measles.
1101 - WICKET - Cook c K Akmal b Amir 10 (Eng 39-2)
Amir bang on target straightaway, and he's got three slips in for Cook. Cook's got a peach second-up, the ball shaping in before shaping away and seaming away even further - you'll do well to hit that. Well, he has second time, Cook's nicked it and that's an easy catch for Akmal...
1059: From the OED:
batter, n.3. One who bats; esp. the player who uses the bat in the game of cricket. 1773 J. DUNCOMBE Surry Triumphant st. xxxiii, in R. Freeman Kentish Poets (1821) II. 368 At last, Sir Horace took the field, A batter of great might.
Iain, Market Drayton, in the TMS inbox:
"Why have batsmen suddenly become batters? Are bowlers going to be changed to pitchers? You need to have a word with messrs Boycott and Lloyd that cricket is English not American."
Former England skipper Michael Vaughan has described it as "perfect weather for swing bowling" this morning - great news for Mohammad Amir, not such good news for England's struggling batting line-up...
I've had some complaints that our coverage of day one was a bit too high-brow for some tastes, leading one reader to accuse me, somewhat cryptically, of 'Bolshevism'. To redress the balance, we have persuaded Sir Geoffrey Boycott to inhale helium before each of his proclamations today on Test Match Special.
Morning everybody. The covers are off at Lord's and play will start on time - 1100 BST. More good news is that the clouds, which are reasonably thick set and woolly overhead, are due to clear as the day progresses and we are set for a full day's play...