That's us done - let's reconvene at 1030 Sunday to see what Skipper Strauss decides to do. Me? I'll stick 'em back in, every time...
Another five-for for Swann (5-76) and Bangladesh have collapsed like a narcoleptic giraffe. That's play done for the day, and Andrew Strauss can delay his decision about enforcing the follow-on until the morning. Entertaining day, and England are completely in control despite Tamim's devil-may-care dashing. Shahzad finishes with 3-45 off his 10, and in that second spell he looked consistently dangerous.
1840: WICKET Shahadat lbw b Swann 11, Ban 216 all out
Four needed to avoid follow-on - what can Swanny do? Big turner, into back pad, onto Prior's pads and back onto the timbers - Bowden's given it! Terrible decision to be fair - as an ell bee, that was missing by a mile, but do England care?
1838: Ban 216-9
Shahzad again, steaming in like - careful Fordyce - Simon Jones. Razzak gets lucky with an inside edge on a vicious late in-swinger. Three slips, gully, short leg all in. Switch to round the wicket, looking for the outside edge, but that's not working.
1833: WICKET Rahim c Anderson b Swann 11, Ban 216-9
Absolute beauty, that last one from Shahza - late, late swing, and that might have cleaned up far better batsmen. Swann now, suddenly the supporting man, and Rahim takes on a dicey top-edged sweep - two, looping away to short fine leg. Wide, driven - what a catch! Anderson bags the edge like Mark Waugh, and England are on the brink - nine wickets gone in 22 overs...
1827: WICKET Shafiul b Shahzad 4, Ban 214-8
And that's why - full, fast, timbers all over the shop. They still need six to avoid the follow-on...
1824: Ban 214-7
Rahim wants nothing to do with Swann's tempters - he kicks away everything he can. Shahza wants the ball back here.
1819: Ban 214-7
Shafiul Islam the new man, his side on the slump after shipping six wickets for 61 runs. Lordy - how has he survived that? Fast yorker from Shahza, inside edge seemingly through the timbers for four to fine leg. England's debutant loving every second of this now...
1817: WICKET Mahmudullah b Shahzad 8, Ban 210-7
Straight, quickish - farewell stumps...
1812: Ban 205-6
Let's have a look at the numbers - eight overs left in the day, four wickets, 15 runs needed to avoid the follow-on. Take that you swine, says Mahmudullah, advancing at Swann and crashing a full toss between extra cover and mid-off for four. Ai-yai-yai - huge airy drive, inside edge onto back pad; same again next ball, huge turn, huge appeal, doing too much.
1807: WICKET Ashraful c Morgan b Shahzad 11, Ban 200-6
He is, but he's started with a wide. Who cares - he's bagged his first Test scalp! Botham-style, too - wide half-volley, slashed straight down Eoin Morgan's throat at backward point. Delight for the the Yorkie new-boy.
1804: Ban 192-5
Huge flicking backlift from Ashraful, ever so slightly Laraesque. Leg slip, slip, short leg and silly mid-off in for him, and he takes them all out of the equation with a mighty mow off bended knee for four to deep square leg. Is that Shahza loosening up?
1801: Ban 192-5
Wonder what debutant Shahzad thinks about all this - he's only been given six overs so far today. Bit of spit for Jim, the ball flying off the spice wide off Centurion Bell at short leg, but he might be ready for a blow here. Successive no-balls seem to confirm that.
From Dom in London, TMS inbox:
"I came home from the Tower of London to find Bangladesh 121-0. Since then, it has been 61-5. Your thanks are appreciated. (Although I would have enjoyed Tamim continuing on for a while longer)."
1752: Ban 188-5
Three men round the bat now, Swann sniffing more more more. Stumper Rahim, doughty in full defensive gear. runs the ball away for one. Inching towards the follow-on target.
1746: WICKET Shakib c Anderson b Swann 10, Ban 185-5
Flight, turn, tempted - edged to slip. Swann is reborn, England are on the march. 35 more runs needed to avoid the follow-on. You don't think...
1742: Ban 185-4
Slashy uppish drive from Ashraful, the ball sailing over gully for a streaky four. Joel Garner on a ladder wouldn't have caught that. He then leaves one (Ashraful, not Joel-on-ladder) which flicks the top of his front pad and loops just over the off bail. Dicey.
1737: Ban 179-4
Some sort of boot-off going on between the stewards and the sozzled - can't quite see whether it's pint-pot snake or inflatable crocodile related. Maiden.
1733: Ban 179-4
Skipper Shakib waits for Swann, tapping the toe of his bat into the crease. Mmmm - lovely drive, creamed away through the covers for four. KP gives half-hearted chase, not so much speeding after it as accompanying it to the ropes like a glamourpuss bodyguard.
1728: Ban 175-4
Two slips and a short leg in for Ashraful, and he leaves Anderson with nerveless judgement again. Oof - big rap on the pad, no shot played, but Umpire De Silva rules that one was missing - yup, over the top.
1723: Ban 173-4
Super ball from Swannage, the classic off-spinner's ball to a right-hander. There's turn at last for the big-chinned tweaker, dancing in from the Stretford End.
From David in Spain, TMS inbox:
"You know, if I were a Bangladeshi I'd be straight onto 606 moaning that Tamim never seems able to go on and notch a big hundred."
1720: WICKET Jaharul b Swann 5, Ban 169-4
Tossed up, lured in, castled!
1719: Ban 169-3
Better now from Jimmy A, lifted by that wicket. There's a fizz that wasn't there before, and Ashraful shows incredible judgement/is incredibly fortunate (delete as appropriate) as he leaves one which sizzles just over the top of his off peg.
From Dominic in Milton Keynes, TMS inbox:
"Re: Hannah at 1656, Drunken people in the swimming pool! That sounds like a dangerous breach of health and safety. My advice is to eject everyone and immediately close the whole leisure centre pending a thorough inquiry. Then, just head off and watch the rest of the cricket - safe in the knowledge that you have protected the lives of hundreds from the dangers of drunken water polo."
1715: Ban 169-3
Decent snag that from Prior - low down to his left, reaching out just in front of his stance. Lovely reception too for the young dasher Tamim as he departs the arena - wonderful to watch in action. Ashraful the new man, and England are sniffing a few more in the 75 minutes left in the day.
From David F in Edinburgh, TMS inbox:
"My ex-wife is having a BBQ (which I no doubt paid for); my best mate is having a 'quality' BBQ with 'a ton of beers'; my folks are having a BBQ; and a colleague has just arrived in to announce that it's 'almost too hot out there'. I am stuck at work and miserable, so God Bless the live text commentary."
1710: WICKET Tamim c Prior b Anderson 108, Ban 169-3
Jaharul Islam the new man, and he'll cut Swann away for a happy four. Still warm early summer sunshine overhead, and refreshing beverages are being used to slake all around. Anderson to Tamim, and the Banglaman is seeing it like a slow-motion football. At least he was until he edged a cut through the stumper. What have I done?
1700: Ban 160-2
Now then - can England capitalise on that breakthrough? First wicket of the series for Swann, that. Byes there, four of them, and the answer for now at least must be a dispirited non.
From Hannah in Birmingham, TMS inbox:
"Am sitting at work in a leisure centre, keeping my mind off the drunken water polo players by reading along with the updates from today. Would much prefer to be watching the cricket than watching blokes running around in gold bikinis."
1656: WICKET Junaid Siddique c Prior b Swann 1, Ban 153-2
Spit and turn, skinny nick off bottom glove - pouched behind! It's all happening...
1654: Ban 153-1
Change in the comm box from Grunill to Fordyce (manually refresh to bring clarity to the confusion), and Tamim needs just five for his second ton of the series. Lordy - enormous swipe as Swann tempts him, and he's lucky to inside edge fine for two. Slightly shorter from Swann, and Tamim rocks back - it's a slicing cut, and will that go away for four? It will - that's his century, a fabulous knock (99 balls, 11 fours, one six) and the crowd rise to him. At 21, what a talent...
1650: Ban 146-1
A quick check of Tamim's stats reveals that he has only been out for less than 50 twice in his last 10 Test innings. He misses an attempted hook off Finn which just misses the gloves but dabs a single down to third man to pinch the strike for Swann's next over.
1645: Ban 142-1
It's not all about brute force for Tamim, who deftly sweeps Swann fine for another boundary to move into 90s. News from Australia that wicketkeeper Brad Haddin is out of their forthcoming tour to England with an elbow injury.
1642: Ban 137-1
Finn is on the floor again - anyone remember Elvis Costello's 'I Can't Stand Up for Falling Down'? It fails to disturb Tamim, who cracks the next ball square for four. He is less comfortable dealing with a well-directed short ball, but fends it off one-handed and collects a single.
1635: Ban 130-1
Swanny tries his luck from the opposite end as Shahzad takes a breather. New man Siddique is content to try and block but is beaten twice in succession as two off-breaks rip past the outside edge.
From Sam in Loughborough, TMS inbox:
"In the library, "revising" for my Quantum Mechanics exam next week and keeping up to date with goings on at Old Trafford. All I've learnt so far is that Tamim is more interesting than one dimensional symmetrical potential square wells and that "The Point" reminds me of Swanny's jaw."
1623: WICKET Kayes c Shahzad b Finn 36, Ban 126-1
Finn returns to the attack as Geoff Boycott fumes about England's failure to select a second spinner and is soon inspecting the turf as he loses his footing in the delivery stride. But he picks himself up and makes the breakthrough as Kayes fails to control a hook shot and Shazza takes an easy catch.
1618: Ban 124-0
Shahzad tries his luck from round the wicket, the tactic which backfired for Jimmy Anderson with the new ball, and finds the edge of Kayes' bat but the ball falls well short of Swann in the slips and runs away for a boundary. It's tough being a bowler, isn't it? (Who am I kidding, as an ex-batsman of very limited ability, I have no sympathy for them whatsoever). Decent over, that one.
From Joel, TMS inbox:
"I'm at an ostrich farm on the Baltic coast of Germany, checking the score online and enjoying an ostrich steak - very nice in fact, a little like veal, tender and lean. But that's enough novelty for one day - I would not like to see Bangladesh win its first Test match just yet.."
1610: Ban 110-0
Shahzad beats a defensive push by Kayes and the slips go up for an lbw shout, but it pitched well outside leg-stump.
Something of a minor triumph for Swann as he keeps Bangladesh down to a single from his first over after tea. Mind you, Tamim wasn't on strike for most of it....
1600: Ban 101-0
The first ball after tea is drilled straight back at Shahzad, but the eager debutant manages to take the sting out of it and restrict Tamim to a single. The next one is too straight and Kayes flips it away through mid-wicket for four to bring up the 100 partnership.
Just a reminder that Bangladesh are 96-0 at tea, replying to England's 419 all out, with Tamim on 65. What can England do to stem the flow of runs? We'll soon find out - here come the umpires.
From Ricky_Rabbit on 606:
"I am a little disappointed with Shazad so far, too straight and not any great pace on offer either. Still, early days I guess. Looks like a there is a long evening session in store for England."
Ok, Tom has gone to soak away his cares in the TV centre horse trough, so it's my turn to stumble round the boundary and field your banter, so please manually refresh the page and we'll begin......
Former England spinner Phil Tufnell on TMS:
"England wasted the new ball and were a bit scruffy and lethargic in the field."
1540: TEA Ban 96-0
Wide down leg from Swann, and that'll dribble away for four leg byes. That's tea, Bangladesh's session entirely, and England have been as limp as a month-old lettuce.
From Jon in Oldbury, TMS inbox:
"I have literally just got back from a Fete held at the local garden centre. Face Painting was free, and I asked for a David Boon moustache circa 1993. Blank looks ensued."
1536: Ban 92-0
What happened there? Full and fast from Shahzad, and Tamim tumbles to the deck trying to keep it out. Oh, lovely again, driving back down the ground with front elbow high for four more. Don't bother, Trotty - you're never going to haul that one back in.
From Booster in sunny Louth, TMS inbox:
"Ref Bing (below), surely they didn't have them new fangled litres 31 years ago? Anycase, at Louth Spire Cycling Club annual dinner, I managed to win the self same Sean Kelly's Cycling Classics board game, unopened and re-donated, for four consecutive years."
1533: Ban 88-0
Raucous, half-cut carousing from the grandstands now. Single off Swann's more controlled tweakery.
From Nick Robins, TMS inbox:
"I once won a gallon of cockles (yes a gallon of the things) at a water regatta in Bristol. We were in a whaler pulling competition and tried to eat them that evening at the after event function. Don't know whether it was them or the "refreshments" that made us all ill the next day."
1529: Ban 87-0
Got a sudden urge to shout "Shabba!" in the style of Mr Loverman whenever Shahzad comes in to bowl. Tamim's on fire here, flicking a juicy one off middle-and-leg through square leg for four more, following it up with a half-hit drive back down the ground for three more. 10 til tea.
1525: Ban 80-0
That is wonderful from Tamim, skipping down the track and hoisting Swann halfway to Salford to bring up his half century. Joy to watch, this tyro. Fuller, faster - driven with rapid wrists, and that's two more. 45 balls for the 50, with six fours and a maximum. Splendid.
1520: Ban 70-0
He is, but the field is spread - six men on the ropes, which is a funny sort of vote of confidence. 85/86mph, just a fraction leggy, and he's tipped round the corner for successive singles. And again - too easy for the lefties. And again. Nice action though - relatively smooth, no obvious calamitous pressure points.
1515: Ban 66-0
Slip, forward short leg, silly mid-off in for Swann. There's some flight on that, but the length is better - a mere single. Is Ajmal Shahzad going to get his debut Test over?
1512: Ban 65-0
Anderson getting no joy at all here. He's finally going to switch to over the wicket, but there's no sniff of a scalp. Where's the breakthrough going to come from?
From Bing in sunny Suffolk, TMS inbox:
"At the tender age of eight I won five litres of engine oil at our local country fete. The tin still sits, unopened, in my garage, a mere 31 years and seven cars later."
1509: Ban 61-0
Strauss has seen enough - he calls on Swann for the first time in what could be a marathon spell. The field is spread - men on the rope at deep midwicket and cover - and Swann, looking for the big rippers, drops too short. Three out into the spaces to the left of Finn at deep extra cover; two more through the infield to the same spot.
1505: Ban 55-0
Now it's Kayes's turn to get involved, dab-cutting late to leave Anderson tea-potting at the end of his follow-through. Bangladesh making this look wonderfully easy, and Skipper Strauss glowers at slip.
From Paul in Lancs, TMS inbox:
"I think John Claughton (see below) may be being a bit elliptic in his Aristophanes reference. His point is nevertheless well made; what was once seen as daringly unconventional can all too easily become a norm, for want of critical challenge. As the beardy dead Greek himself attests: 'Times change. The vices of your age are stylish today.' It's the same with neoliberal assumptions about fiscal deficit in a post-Gold standard age of fiat currency...but I fear I may be drifting off topic."
1501: Ban 51-0
Fast and straight from Finn, and Tamim ducks underneath that danger. What a shot! A fraction of width, and Tamim goes up on his toes to cut off the front peg for four more. His head position was perfect there, a coaching class made flesh. Of the 50 partnership, Kayes has contributed a full eight runs.
From Carole in Maidenhead, TMS inbox:
"I once won a hideous pink nylon gonk thing, with glued on scary eyes, at an amusement arcade in Littlehampton. I haven't been back since.'"
1455: Ban 47-0
Swing for Anderson, but because he's going over the wicket it's easy to tuck away - four, racing away, and then two more. Oh, brutal - crashing off the back foot past the diving Morgan at point for four more. Trott claps his encouragement at mid-off, but is forced to turn and sprint as Tamim lofts back over the bowler's head for three more. 31 to Tamim already, and the run-rate's clattering along at 6.7 an over.
1449: Ban 34-0
What happened there? Finn's delivery starts wide but seems to hit a crack and go wider still, and the ball disappears through the slips for four byes. Better up next, ghosting two past the outside edge at 88mph. And again!
1445: Ban 27-0
What a shot that is from Tamim, rocking back to slash Anderson backward of point for a don't-chase four. His hands came through so fast there. Anderson going round the wicket to the lefties here, which is interesting - no thoughts about going over and bending the ball back in?
1441: Ban 21-0
Three slips in for Finn, but that's too leggish - turned away by Tamim for two. Short onto the hips, pulled away between the two men out in the deep for four more. Finn trudges back to his mark a la Gus and responds with a spicy lifter - nope, no-ball called by Umpire De Silva. Big flash outside off from Kayes, and that flies off the outside edge high over gully for four more.
From John Claughton, TMS inbox: "All schoolboys seem to think that is holy writ that they have to bowl round the wicket at left-handers and I spend all of my life telling them the opposite - increased chances of lbw etc. Am I right in this matter and if so can you tell the world this truth again. I am translating Aristophanes' Clouds as I write."
1435: Ban 7-0
Just seen a shot of the honours board in the pavilion, all polished walnut and gold lettering - except for what appears to be a strip of sticking plaster with the words 'Shakib Al Hasan - 5-121' scrawled on it in biro. Classy. Tight from Jimmy, and there's no width for Tamim to latch on to.
1425: Ban 6-0
The man-of-the-match from Lords, Steve Finn, takes the other end in lieu of Brezza Bresnan. Loose down leg, bye off the thigh guard. Mainly blue up overhead now, just the occasional smoky smear. Oooh, that's a beaut - fast, lifty, sizzling past Kayes's outside edge and through to Prior at face height.
1420: Ban 5-0
Here comes the Bangladesh openers, Jimmy Anderson to take the cherry. Tamim Iqbal waits - down leg, flicked off thigh pad fine for four, although Umpire Billy B gives it as off the bat. "Oh, Jimmy Jimmy!" yell a few dipsos, and Tamim backs away late as Anderson delivers regardless. Three slips in, gully, short leg. NB manually refresh if you have a mo, would you?
1410: WICKET Finn lbw b Shakib 0, Eng 419 all out
New man Finn - half forward, hit in front - gone! Five for Shakib, and England's innings shudders to a rather lame halt.
1408: WICKET Prior c Jahurul b Shakib 93, Eng 419-9
Dear oh dear - what a dreadful way to get out... Stuck in the doldrums, sail hanging loose, Prior opts for a switch-hit and top-edges straight to square leg.
1404: Eng 418-8
Upright sweep from Prior to crawl to 92, and Shakib fizzes three consecutive balls down leg. Strange little patch, this - Prior's becalmed in the nervous nineties, Jimmy's trying to stick about to help him, but both sides are letting the match drift.
1401: Eng 417-8
Decent reception for Jimmy Anderson as he jogs on to his home turf. Single stroked into the covers, and Prior - 90 n.o., two wickets left on the board - will want to get these last few runs at a decent lick. Single forced away off the back foot, and he'll have the honour at the other end.
1355: WICKET Shahzad c Razzaq b Shakib 5, Eng 414-8
Tossed up, slapped straight to cover. Complete silence around the ground. Spooky.
1354: Eng 413-7
Prior hasn't bagged a Test ton for 15 months, but that brings him closer - big stride down the track, meaty heave over mid-on for the boundary that takes him to 89. Sleepy atmos around the ground, the run-rate tickling along around the 3.5 an over mark.
1350: Eng 407-7
A weak sunshine now at Old Trafford - not enough to burn the pate, just enough to warm the forearms. Prior lofts a showy single to deep midwicket, Shahza drives off the outside edge for one of his own through gully.
1345: Eng 404-7
Shakib for his 34th over of the innings. Prior tips a single away to leg, leaving Shahza on strike - four men around the bat, and the Yorkshire debutant drills a full one away through the covers for the first boundary of his Test career. Nice moment.
From Gavin in Fleet, TMS inbox:
"I won a bottle of Galliano at a raffle when I was eight. My parents said I was too young to drink it and confiscated it. 25 years later I was having a cocktail party and needed some stock, so I asked my parents if they had anything. The only thing they could offer was this bottle of Galliano. It had aged quite well as it happens.'"
1341: Eng 399-7
Now then - what's Shahzad going to do? Hmmm. One normal leave-alone, one normal defensive push. Massive anti-climax.
We should be in for a bit of fun after lunch with Ajmal Shahzad playing his first Test innings. This is what he told the BBC before the first Test at Lord's: "I'm a bit different. I take a guard of two [middle and leg] but I bat a foot outside two so the bowler has a clear view of my stumps and hopefully that will invite him to bowl straight at me - I play well off straight. Basically, the stumps are in view, he can have a go at them and I come out playing my shots and enjoying myself." Wonder what fellow Yorkshireman Geoff Boycott will make of that approach?
From matt-h88 on 606:
"Not sure how the tail will cope with the turning ball. Shahzad and Anderson could add 30-40 between them, equally we could be all out in 20 minutes."
From Matt in London, TMS inbox:
"I have had the personal misfortune of winning back the grotty box of chocolates that I thought I had rid myself of at a previous fete, and here's the kicker - the second time round they were also out of date."
1300: WICKET Swann lbw Razzaq 20, Eng 399-7
Razzaq with the last over before the interval, and Swann tucks in with a lofted four over the top for his second four. Quicker one up next - Swann is trapped on the back peg, and Umpire Bowden points him back to the pavilion. Shame. We'll have lunch there too.
1256: Eng 395-6
Prior suffering from a bout of pre-lunch wobbles here. He has a KPesque wafty slash outside off, steps back and nearly thins through to the 'keeper and then jabs down late to keep his timbers upright and ship-shape.
From Jim Clack, TMS inbox:
"To The Revd James Rugg. You'd be surprised - the same prizes of Bulgarian wine, a RNLI jigsaw (other charity jigsaws available) and gardening books have been doing the raffle circuit in the St. Keverene Garden Club for many moons."
1252: Eng 393-6
Short and sitting up from Shakib, who's lobbing them down at around 45mph - wallop, dispatched to the midwicket fence by Swann with old-fashioned simplicity. More spitting turn next ball, and Swann does well to pull his twitching blade from the line of fire.
1248: Eng 386-6
Swanny the new man, and he'll have watched that monster turn with great interest. Short and wide from Mahmu, and Swann spanks the freebie away through the covers for his first boundary of the day.
From Rev'd Rod Geddes in North Yorkshire, TMS inbox:
"With reference to Revd James Rugg (below) the secret is to pass any dire items to WI or MU or PTA Fetes and see how long they take to arrive back at subsequent Church Fetes. Perhaps that could be a game at the next fete."
1243: WICKET Bell b Shakib 128, Eng 376-6
Fordyce you clown, will you never learn? Absolute ripper of a ball, drifting in towards middle and leg before fizzing past Bell's defensive prod and clipping the top of off. Decent applause for Bell as he trudges slightly ruminatively from the field, and the bowler deserves some back-slaps too.
1240: Eng 374-5
Paddle round the corner, and that brings up the 150 partnership. 266 balls it's taken, and Bell paddles like a merry mallard to add a couple more to the tally. 20 minutes to luncheon, and it's been England's slightly somnolent session.
From David Hopkins, TMS inbox:
"My Dad, the local vicar, thought he had won half a cow for the freezer, at our local fete. Turned out to be a heifer calf. She was milked for several years afterwards."
1235: Eng 368-5
We'll have a little Mahmudullah to mix things up. Single from Prior down the ground to move to 74, and Bell stays cautious, squinting with concentration under his dark blue lid.
From MC in West Midlands, TMS inbox:
"I organised a fete once. We had a massive bouncy castle delivered and on it's inflation it looked the business. About 15 mins later the wind picked up and we had to deflate it. For the next 5 hrs all the children stood around looking at the flat castle and looking at me to give the go ahead to re-inflate and re-start the bouncing. Then after the 5hrs had passed and no re-inflation the bouncy castle man turned up. I gave him his 120 quid and he drove off. The community wern't quite so understanding. 5 and 6 yr old children didn't seem to understand that I didn't control the wind. I was also dumped from the fete committee. Never again."
1231: Eng 366-5
Shakib twirls in dervish fashion - single apiece, two more glided away off the face by Bell backward of point. Lovely little shot. In the crowd, a man dressed as a gnome is asked to remove his hat by the sight-obstructed gentleman in the seat behind.
1226: Eng 363-5
Singles milked with abandon, Prior almost getting himself in bother with an ambitious call that Bell refuses. Doesn't seem to be quite as much bite in the track for the spinners as there was on Friday, but the bounce is increasingly random. Prior steps away and gets rather lucky as a thick edge from in front of middle flies past slip and away for four more to the third man fence.
From Paul in Plymouth, TMS inbox:
"I once won a 'name the knitted donkey' competition at a village fete in Helston in Cornwall many years ago. I simply chose the name 'Duncan' (for reasons unknown) wrote this on a sheet of paper, which was then placed into and drawn from a tombola later in the day to find a winner. Given that the name I'd picked had little bearing on the 'randomly picked from a tombola judging system' I still would have won had I named it 'Lucifer'."
1220: Eng 353-5
Razzaq switches to over the wicket to Prior, and he probably wishes he hadn't - down on one knee, meaty reverse-sweep for a crowd-rousing four. And another! Straight this time, adjusting to the flight to drive with muscle to the boards at long-on. We're starting to cook.
1216: Eng 342-5
Shakib now, white zinc cream smeared rather half-heartedly over the lower part of his face - mmm, delightful little turner, and that foxes Prior all ends up. The one with flight draws an air-sweep and subsequent lbw shout, but the front pad is outside off. Gentle rumble around the stands, a man dressed as Darth Vader clinking pint glasses with the Chewbaccas on either side of him.
From John Kerrigan, TMS inbox:
"I moved to the US in 2007 and, although I haven't found any church fetes, I was successful in winning a dozen free-range eggs for a year at the recent local charity auction. We are only 48 eggs into the 624 egg marathon with no ill effects."
1211: Eng 342-5
Prior seems to have taken on some go-get-'em juice - he turns two away off his toes, waits for a floater and drives it past Shahadat at mid-off for three more. Pre-lunch acceleration, anyone?
From The Revd James Rugg, Week St Mary, Cornwall:
"Being new to the world of church fetes I'm surprised by the optimism of those participating in the 'Bring and Buy' circuit. Surely, if a really rank item doesn't sell at one fete then you'd think not to bring it to the next, and the next and the next?"
1202: Eng 332-5
Change of bowling here - we'll have some left arm tweak from Abdur Razzak. Prior stays patient until the short one, and clunks it away off the back peg past point for his fifth four - that's his 50, a restrained knock off 107 balls. The ghost of Kieswetter rattles its chains. Drinks.
1156: Eng 325-5
Shafiul canters in, and another one dies on the deck and limps through. That puts some monkey in Prior's brain, and when a short one follows he's not sure whether to duck or leave - crash, right into the midriff. Decent spell this now from Shafiul, finding some real spit and aggression with this still-shiny new ball.
From Macca in Bristol, TMS inbox:
"Was I the only person who just spent too much time trying to work out if Dr TV Liew and his work place was either a rude anagram or a smutty acronym? I'll take that silence as a yes."
1150: Eng 325-5
Shahadat again, and that's too short - pulled away again, this time by Bell, for three more. Singles follow, and a dab away brings up the 100 partnership - 194 balls, and a crucial stand in the context of this hmmm-haaa pitch.
From Dave in Cambridge, TMS inbox:
"I won a large lump of pork at our local fete a few years ago. As the only meat-eater in our family, I sliced it into pieces and froze them, then defrosted one every week or so to have with chips and peas."
1146: Eng 318-5
Partnership to 91 with a brace of steers into the gaps on the leg side. Shafiul then drops short, and Prior at last meets one with the middle to pull in front of square for four. Stands gradually filling up. You know The Point? Wants to be the Lord's media centre, looks like a branch of Texas DIY.
From Jonny in Leeds, TMS inbox:
"I once won my daughter a goldfish at a fete. It's now a happy, vibrant 4 year old despite the three failed attempt escape attempts that have left it flapping on the cooker top in a style similar to Panesar at the crease."
1140: Eng 312-5
Paul (below) - don't tell me, the bash-the-rat stall was playing something produced by Dangermouse, and the guess-the-weight-of-the-cake stall featured the Staples Singers' 'Heavy Makes You Happy'. Strange shot from Bell, withdrawing his bat late and getting an inadvertent toe-end edge along the ground past first slip for four more.
From Paul in Wiltshire, TMS inbox:
"I went to a fete once and the coconut shy was playing 'Too shy shy'."
1134: Eng 306-5
Shahadat, grunting like peal-era Monica Seles in his delivery stride - Prior clips off the pads for two, strolls a single and watches Bell do the same. On the England balcony, Steve Finn sticks a pair of binoculars to his face and surveys the scene.
From Dr TV Liew, Cambridge University Division of Cardiovascular Medicine, TMS inbox:
"I won a wheelbarrow full of booze at our village fete once though significant proportions of it appeared to be out of date Sangria from various peoples' holidays to Spain. The wheelbarrow was a good quality one though."
1129: Eng 301-5
Prior's all over the shop here. He's trying to drop anchor, but the natural smasher inside him keeps trying to escape. He opens the face and nearly slices a drive to gully, and then rocks back to slap a late pull high towards midwicket - ooof, just short of the on-rushing fielder.
From John in Maidstone, TMS inbox:
"I won a water powered clock on the tombola at our local fete late week. I know what you're thinking, how does that work? Well, it doesn't. Another 20 pence wasted."
1123: Eng 292-5
Bell looks in the mood for a serious one here. There's no post-ton rush of blood, just a series of stern defensive shots against Shahadat's straining slingers. Strange variable bounce in this track - one jumps up and thuds into Bell's bottom hand as he fends frantically, another skips through like a squashed grape.
From Simon in Ipswich, TMS inbox:
"I won a goldfish when I was in my younger years at my local fair. Definitely wasn't sad-eyed, and lived to the grand age of 4. And he had to adapt to living in an old sweet jar as my old man wouldn't pay out for a proper fish bowl."
1117: Eng 292-5
Come on now, Belly - wait for the loose one, wait for the - loose, wide, driven off the back foot - he's turned for the second, and there's a third there if he wants it - yup, he'll make that by a mile, and that's his century - his 11th in Test cricket and third against Bangladesh, this one off 193 balls with 11 fours. Innings-saving knock, that one, and let the naysayers keep it zipped for a while.
1113: Eng 289-5
Prior, uncharacteristically watchful, flicks off the hip for one as Shafiul angles them in around the 83mph mark. The average predicted score, following our poll earlier on? 404.
From David Jeffrey, TMS inbox:
"RE: Simon in Wiltshire. The last time I made it to a village fete my girlfriend successfully guessed the number of balloons in a Mini, won a Nintendo DS, never let me play it because she was planning on selling it, and then six months later had it stolen when our house was burgled. I think that's called justice."
1110: Eng 287-5
Flight from Shakib, and that's glorious from Ronnie Bell - rapid-fire tippy-toes down the track, right to the pitch, crashing one with controlled ease high over mid-off for a one-bounce four and then following up with a dreamy drive along the ground to the same spot. 97 now for the strawberry blond battler.
1106: Eng 279-5
What does a posh burger involve - ciabatta baps (memo to self: put together 'Ciabappa' pitch for next series of Dragon's Den)? Shafiul Islam for a touch of pace, and Prior angles away his first run of the weekend before Bell dinks into the leg side for one more. Simon (see below) - what's not to like about trying to bounce a ping-pong ball into a jam-jar to win a sad-eyed short-lived goldfish?
From Simon in Wiltshire, TMS inbox:
"Good morning Tom, I'm here if no-one else is. I'm trying to work out a way of avoiding the village fete this afternoon."
1102: Eng 276-5
Near silence around the ground as Shakib skips in for his first twirl of the day. Single clipped away to leg by Belly, and we're underway. A small queue is forming in front of two mobile food concessions beyond the boundary rope, Chips 'n' Dips currently a fraction more popular than Posh Burgers.
The strains of Jerusalem ring out around the almost empty ground, as vainglorious a scene as seeing King Edward VIII strolling along the beach in the Bahamas wearing his full ermine fig. Here come the players.
From Marcus in Newcastle, TMS inbox:
"Can everyone get off Boycs' case, the man is a legend. i admire him so much i have a tatoo off him on my arm, complete with panama and knowing sneer."
Still a lot of chat in the environs about KP's down-the-track flail. In one camp, the entertainers (England's second-highest scorer, took the initiative back, smell those sixes); in the other, the martinets (ton ready and waiting, would Ponting/Lara/Sachin have done that, cameos should be left to Larry Blackmon).
A little muggy within the ground this morning, which might raise a few eyebrows among our swingers. Spin the main weapon on Friday, but Ian Bell played it well - 13 runs needed for his ton. Quick poll on England's final score today?
Ah, a Saturday morning in early June, the sun shining and an angry Geoff Boycott crashing round the Old Trafford media areas like an out of control wind-up toy. Everyone well?