"Not sure about 53ac., but 7 up is lemonade." Andrew Palmer in the TMS inbox
41st over - 177-6
YES! NO-BALL! 1-6!
40th over - 176-6
Collingwood is beaten for pace and very nearly spoons a catch into the leg-side, but the ball lands safely. A single run, before Bresnan goes for a rancid-looking heave and misses. A yorker from Lee and Bresnan just manages to dig it out. A bumper from Lee, and it's called a wide. Bresnan is unable to score the winning runs from the final three deliveries, Lee finishes with 1-33 from his 10 overs.
"Hello Ben, can you let Flowers/Strauss know that the answer to 53 ac in the crossword ('Drain must be about the lowest point') is 'nadir'." Siuoxie, Capel Dewi, in the TMS inbox
39th over - 174-6
One for Collingwood to third-man. Typical of England to win this game in possibly the most dismal manner possible. Gruelling viewing this, but that's nice from Bresnan, clobbering Hilfenhaus through point for four.
"We aren't going to do too well in this Champions Trophy thing, are we?" Michael in the TMS inbox
38th over - 169-6
Short from Lee and Bresnan rocks back and pulls him through mid-wicket for four. Good shot that, the Riverside goes berko. I have to say that having sat through seven of these ODIs over the last couple of weeks, I'm beginning to question whether I even like cricket any more... two more for Bresnan with a flick off his pads... eight needed from 72 balls... CAN THEY DO IT?!
"I am most concerned at Matt in Oxford's belief that he can ascertain a need to phone the BBC on the basis of regression analysis alone. A reliance on such a method simply reflects a tendency in social science to ascribe a trans-historical, pan-cultural character to phenomena which are actually historically specific or culture bound. It confuses contingent and necessary fact in the search for explanation, and ultimately risk ecological fallacy and spurious inference of individual characteristics from group-level characteristics. I prefer, as you clearly do, Mr Dirs, a critical realist conception of TMS live text, whereby a high verisimilitude provides the opportunity for vicarious experience, the reader coming to know the 'things told, as if he or she had experienced them' (Stake 1994)." Paul in Lancs in the TMS inbox
37th over - 162-6
The burly Bresnan is next in. The Yorkshireman can bat a bit, but it doesn't look like he fancies it too much. Wicket-maiden...
37th over - WICKET - Prior c Ponting b Hilfenhaus (Eng 162-6)
Down goes Prior, skewing a mis-timed drive to Ricky Ponting in the covers... 15 runs to get, four wickets left...
"Sarah (see below), I have started singing, 'It's a nice day for a white-washing'. Did Ben mean Tired and Emotional? I haven't met him. I would probably remind him of his mother too much." Carole in Maidenhead in the TMS inbox
36th over - 162-5
Lee very nearly breaches Collingwood's defences with one that nips back off the seam. One for Colly with a back-foot steer and England need 20 from lots of overs. Prior picks up one with an educated edge before Collingwood whips away a shin-high full-toss for four.
"Trust England to find a way of wining which underlines what a poor side they are, talk about a confidence builder for the Champs Trophy
if of course we manage to stumble our way across the finish line!" Mike from Sunny Warsash in the TMS inbox
35th over - 156-5
Collingwood finds a gap in the leg-side and picks up one. Twenty-three needed from 92 balls. Watson strays onto Prior's pads and is turned away for a single...
"Is it just me that starts singing 'collapse, don't do it' to the tune of 'Relax' when England are batting? Just me then... PS Emotional?" Sarah, Bucks, in the TMS inbox
34th over - 153-5
Matt Prior next up the ramp, and Ponting immediately posts a short gully and a short point. Bit of width for Prior, but he carves the ball straight into the ground. Lee serves Prior up some chin music and Prior top-edges him for four. Iffy. Dreadful shot from Prior, his feet staked to the crease, and he's beaten. But that's better from the England gloveman, opening the face and gliding the ball through backward-point for four.
"'Any ideas how England are going to throw this one away?' Chris (see below), you had to ask didn't you?! England are giving it a go! From 106-0 to 141-5!"Dave, Yorkshire man stuck in Northants, in the TMS inbox
33rd over - 145-5
England require 36 form 105 balls, which sounds simple, until you remind yourself that they've scored 12 from the last six overs... Collingwood relieves some of the pressure with a whip through square-leg for four. Strangled lbw appeal by Watson, but that was sliding down leg. Drinks...
OED definition of batter:
One who bats; esp. the player who uses the bat in the game of cricket. 1773 J. DUNCOMBE Surry Triumphant st. xxxiii, in R. Freeman Kentish Poets (1821) II. 368 At last, Sir Horace took the field, A batter of great might. 1824 MISS MITFORD Village Ser. I. (1863) 174 Such mutual compliments from man to manbowler to batter, batter to bowler. 1854 J. W. WARTER Old Squires v. 48 The old Squire..had been a good batter in his day.
32nd over - WICKET - Morgan c Paine b Lee 4 (Eng 141-5)
Lee back into the attack now, and the fifth wicket goes down, Morgan slashing and edging to Paine behind the sticks...
"For goodness sake, are you commentating on a cricket match or baseball? It is Batsman/Batsmen. Batter, give me strength! I have that on my fish, or maybe breadcrumbs tonight."Ken O'Connell, Rundu, Namibia, in the TMS inbox
31st over - 141-4
Morgan edges, but the ball doesn't quite carry to White at slip. Looks like he was standing too deep there, just the one run from the over...
30th over - 140-4
Morgan is off the mark immediately with a glide to third-man. Big lbw appeal, Hopes getting one to cut back at Collingwood, but that was going over the top and missing leg.
"Benjamin, I have just run a regression analysis between the detail of your commentary per over and the frequency of goals scored in the Premiership this afternoon: there's a significant inverse correlation. Do I need to call Auntie?" Matt in Oxford in the TMS inbox
30th over - WICKET - Shah c Paine b Hopes 7 (Eng 137-4)
Collingwood out in the middle now, on his home ground. But it's Shah on strike, and he smashes Hopes straight over the top for four. Wow, gone next ball, feathering a catch to wicket-keeper Paine.
29th over - WICKET - Bopara lbw b Watson 13 (Eng 133-2)
Stand by for some Keystone Cops, we've got the Run-Out Brothers in the middle now... a couple of singles before Bopara is trapped plumb in front and Umpire Rauf pulls the trigger... it's not getting any better for Ravi...
28th over - 131-2
Shah is the new batter, and he could do with a few runs ahead of the Champions Trophy. Shah goes for the lofted drive and skews it over the top for a couple. Some disagreement as to whether Denly's run-out was Bopara's fault or not. True, Denly hesitated, but you don't go taking silly singles like that to Ricky Ponting.
28th over - WICKET - Denly run out 53 (Eng 129-2)
Not great calling there from Bopara. He drives into the covers, calls Denly through, hesitates, starts again and Denly is out by a couple of feet.
27th over - 129-1
Shane Watson's going to have a spurt with the ball. His first ball is short and forced into the off-side for one by Denly. Watson gets one to nip back and scythe Bopara in two - not much footwork there and his knees buckle as the ball thuds into the wicket-keeper's gloves.
26th over - 127-1
Bopara chops to third-man for one before Hopes locates Denly's edge, the ball races away for four, and the man of Kent moves to his second ODI fifty.
25th over - 120-1
Poor shot from Bopara, driving loosely outside off-stump. He nibbles to third-man for one and Denly bags a single with a clip to mid-wicket. Doozy of a cover-drive from Bopara, a four for the Essex man and, perhaps more importantly, a beaming smile.
24th over - 114-1
Hopes a bustling medium-pace bowler, in the mould of Paul Collingwood. Hopes keeps it tight, a maiden over.
23rd over - 114-1
Hauritz with a dart and Denly whips him away for one. One more single apiece for Bopara and Denly, and another from Bopara with a clip to square-leg.
22nd over - 111-1
Hopes scrambles the seam and Denly lunges forward and is beaten. Denly, playing patiently, nurdles to leg for one before Bopara plays a dismissive pull for four to get off the mark.
21st over - 106-1
Bopara the new batsman, and he's bamboozled by his first delivery from Hauritz. Low full-bunger from Hauritz and Bopara comes down the pitch and jams down on it.
21st over - WICKET - Strauss c Hilfenhaus b Hauritz 47 (Eng 106-1)
Denly works Hauritz to fine-leg for one. Strauss misses out with a sweep before playing a dog's dinner of a switch-hit and holing out to the man at fine-leg.
20th over - 104-0
Hopes into the attack and that's stand and deliver stuff from the lanky Denly, smashing the ball through mid-wicket for four. That's the ton, and Denly follows up with an even better stroke, just opening the face and gliding the ball to the third-man fence.
19th over - 94-0
However bad your life might seem at the moment, you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that you're not Rio Ferdinand... Hauritz no-balls and Denly has a dirty great mow at the free hit and misses. Still, a few singles from that over and Australia don't even look like making a breakthrough.
18th over - 89-0Sarah from Bucks!
I met her once, not sure I made a very good impression, I was a little bit emotional... Denly clips Johnson to mid-wicket for one. Strauss and Denly exchange two more singles before Strauss drops the ball to fine-leg for one more.
"As I didn't think England had a chance of winning this match I decided to watch the football instead. Is anyone still interested in this series?" Sarah, Bucks, in the TMS inbox
17th over - 85-0
A couple of singles before Strauss picks up a brace with a drive through cover-point. Drinks...
16th over - 81-0
Strauss picks up a single with a nurdle round the corner, Denly nicks a cheeky one with a straight drive. One more for Strauss, England cruising...
15th over - 78-0
More width for Strauss and he cuts Hauritz through backward-point for a couple. That's England's highest opening partnership of the series. Denly dances down the track and scoops Hauritz to mid-wicket for one. Strauss nicks the strike with a single to cover.
14th over - 73-0
Whip-crack away! Short and wide from Johnson and Strauss pings him through backward-point for four. Wide outside off from Johnson, before he strays down leg and is helped round the corner for four more. Johnson all over the oche, another leg-side wide, before Strauss paddles him round the corner for a single. Big over for England, Denly offered some width and carving the ball through point for another four.
13th over - 58-0
One for Strauss before Denly nibbles to leg for one more. Strauss waits on one and eases Hauritz through point for another single.
"Any ideas how England are going to throw this one away?"Chris in the TMS inbox
12th over - 55-0
Denly has a mow and skews down to third-man for a couple. That's the fifty partnership, which includes 14 extras. Pearler of a stroke from Denly, easing Johnson through mid-wicket for four. Touch of the Alec Stewarts about that.
"Ben, what happened to your girlfriends Sarah? You on the outs with them?" Robin, Toronto, in the TMS inbox
11th over - 49-0
Time for some spin, with Nathan Hauritz being wheeled into the attack. Strauss shoulders arms and almost loses his off-peg to a ball that goes straight on. Strauss moves to 21 with a clip off his pads for a couple. Hauritz appeals for something, whether leg before or caught behind, but Umpire Rauf is having none of it.
10th over - 47-0
Mitchell Johnson is into the attack. Good save from Ponting in the covers as Strauss looks to cut, but Strauss does bag a single with a twirl down to third-man.
9th over - 46-0
Denly rooted to the spot and is beaten by Lee, who gets the ball to nibble away slightly. Another over of high pace and accuracy from Lee, just one from it.
8th over - 45-0
Thick outside edge from Denly and he picks up one. Four for Strauss courtesy of a pull before the England captain carves uppishly past the gully fielder for one more. Yorker from Hilfenhaus and Denly jams his bat down on it. Tremendous stroke from Denly, crashing the ball to the long-on fence. As Ponting proved last week, there's no need to slog...
7th over - 35-0
Strauss is beaten by Lee outside off-stump before the England skipper misses out when offered some width. Maiden.
"See... I told the ECB to make this a best of 13 series... we would still be in with a shout now."Anthony Walton, South Wales, in the TMS inbox
6th over - 35-0
Hilfenhaus over-pitches, just slightly, and Denly strokes him through the covers for four. Normal cricket shot that, and another off a free hit, the Kent opener unfurling a spangling on-drive for four. Another Hilfenhaus no-ball, this is ragged from the tourists... WHOA THERE! BEAMER! The ball slides out of the top of Hilfenhaus' hand and Denly has to take evasive action. The bowler apologises, before Denly is caught at cover... off a free hit...
5th over - 24-0
Lee goes through Denly like a dose of salts, the ball angling in to the right-hander. Denly finally gets off the mark from his 12th delivery, nibbling to leg for one. Strauss is beaten outside off, before Strauss very nearly gloves a short ball to wicket-keeper Paine, but instead it's called a wide. Strauss twirls into the covers for two more, and it's all looking pretty serene for England.
4th over - 20-0
Hilfenhaus strays onto Strauss' pads and is clipped through mid-wicket for four. That was a no-ball from Hilfenhaus, he overstepped by three or four inches there, and Strauss punishes him with a very cute shot, walking across his stumps and scooping the ball down to the long-leg boundary.
3rd over - 11-0
Lee getting up towards 94mph, the wiry Denly happy to just get his eye in and block him out...
2nd over - 11-0
Hilfenhaus, playing his first game of the series, shares the new ball with Lee. Hilfenhaus kicks off with a no-ball, but that was a little bit odd, his heel was behind the line. Justice done there, as Strauss backs away, has a flay and misses. A wide from Hilfenhaus before Strauss flashes outside off and is beaten. Just the two sundries from the over.
1st over - 9-0
Right, the players are out and we're under way. If England don't chase this down, then I'm never watching cricket again. Please email in, I'm feeling a little bit emotional and need some company... Lee with the new pill and his first ball is a wide outside off-stump. Lee serves up another no-ball - plenty of those so far this series. Strauss has a horrible old smear at the free hit, and the ball misses everything, evades Paine and dribbles away for four. Three for Strauss with a back-foot steer, and that brings Denly on strike. The Kent man blocks out the over, and that's not a bad start for England.
Hello, this is Benjamin now, not Pranav. Manually refresh and all will become clear...
In case you weren't aware, the ICC Champions Trophy starts in South Africa on Tuesday. We'll be providing a text commentary on the opening match between South Africa and Sri Lanka, on England's games against Sri Lanka (25th), South Africa (27th) and New Zealand (29th), and India v Pakistan (26th), plus the semi-finals and final. We'll have regularly updated scorecards available for the other games, plus the usual reports, quotes etc etc. Let's hope we see some thrilling cricket.
Carole, Maidenhead, TMS inbox:
"Wow! Well done our bowlers, particularly Swanny! And is that the lowest score this series by that useful Aussie, extras?"
David, TMS inbox:
"Er... love the commentary but how does two bowled out of five equal 'the majority of his dismissals castling the stumps'?" Um, cos they said so on the radio...
AUSTRALIA 176 - ENGLAND NEED 177 TO WIN
45.5 overs: Aus 176 Wicket Hussey ct Denly b Bresnan 49
Hussey looks for another lusty blow, this time through mid-off, but drills the ball to Joe Denly, who fumbles his first attempt but just about manages to cling on as he hits the deck. So England need 176 to win. See you back here in about 30 minutes.
45 overs: Aus 175-9
Australia take the powerplay and Hussey scurries a leg-bye before squeezing a full-length ball on his pads backward of square for a welcome boundary before an almighty swipe off the front foot over the square leg boundary for six. That has gone three rows back into the top tier of the stand, mammoth distance.
44 overs: Aus 163-9
New man Ben Hilfenhaus successfully sees off the rest of the over, playing Shah as if he were Jim Laker. Which is a first.
43.1 overs: Aus 163-9 Wicket Hauritz ct and bowled Shah 3
Shah's in on the action now as Hauritz drills a straight forward caught and bowled into the breadbasket.
43 overs: Aus 163-8
The final over of Graeme Swann's inspired spell, finishing with 5-28 from his 10 overs, spinning the ball to the very last.
42 overs: Aus 162-8
Swann's five-wicket haul is the first by an England off-spinner in one-day cricket since Graeme Hick managed the feat back in 2000. Four singles from Owais Shah's fourth over, with new man Nathan Hauritz getting off the mark with a push.
41 overs: Aus 158-8 Wicket Lee bowled Swann 0
Classic off-spinner's delivery, bowling Lee between bat and pad to clip the top of off stump. That's Swanny's first five-wicket haul in one-day cricket - the majority of his dismissals castling the stumps. Really, really good bowling from the Nottinghamshire tweaker.
40.4 overs: Aus 158-7 Wicket Johnson ct Anderson b Swann
Matt Prior's shy deflects off Mike Hussey's bat and rolls over the long-on boundary, which means Mr Cricket collects five for his troubles. Mitchell Johnson smears a hefty whack over mid-on but the broad-shouldered Queenslander is back in the hutch the following ball as he miscues a push to James Anderson at short cover.
40 overs: Aus 149-6
Neat reverse sweep from Hussey gleans three runs, but Shah is doing a sterling job holding up one end. Johnson attempts an expansive drive, but cannot penetrate the infield.
39 overs: Aus 145-6
Hussey is beaten by a belter from Swann, turning from middle to outside off as Matt Prior whips of the bails rather optimistically. But the back foot is clearly in its ground. Another sensational over from Swann, leaking just two runs.
38 overs: Aus 143-6
With two left-handers at the crease, Shah opts to go around the wicket, but neither man is willing to launch the munitions with the match delicately poised. Just two from the over. So when's the batting powerplay gonna be taken?
37 overs: Aus 141-6
Lovely punchy drive down the track from Johnson, which Bresnan does well to prevent from crossing the boundary. It's all good for the hosts right now.
36.3 overs: Aus 138-6 Wicket Hopes ct and bowled Swann 11
A leading edge off Hopes' bat sails high into the air and straight into Graeme Swann's hands. Hopes was way too early with the shot, almost hitting the back of the bat to leave Swann with figures of 3-13 from 6.3 overs. In comes Mitchell Johnson.
36 overs: Aus 138-5
With the pitch offering tweak, Strauss turns to Middlesex colleague Owais Shah, who opens up with a tidy over, conceding four. Hussey is looking comfortable on 27, while Hopes as the ability to open his shoulders and launch into orbit.
35 overs: Aus 134-5
Just been discussing embarrassing posters we had on our walls as students. Aggers had the Athena tennis girl while I had the mandatory Pulp Fiction poster which all students of the 1990s had to pin up on their walls, along with the Parental Guidance - Explicit Lyrics poster. Fortunately the "Student's Crossing" effort was missing from my collection. Swann's sixth over goes for just three, with Hopes momentarily sweating when a stumping is referred to the third umpire, but the Queenslander is comfortably inside his crease.
34 overs: Aus 131-5
Time for a bit of Rav - no, not that bloke off Strictly Come Dancing/Crimewatch who sends the ladies a little giddy every time he shakes his hips - but Ravi Bopara, he if much-malignedness this summer. A bit of off-side filth from Ravi, allowing Hopes to free his arms and cut for four down to third man before another Shah misfield allows Hoeps to add a couple more to move to eight.
Simon Jowitt, Blackpool, TMS inbox:
"How about a mention for Jack Simmons? During one game at Blackpool, he went round the players and umpires getting an order for the local chippie as he didn't want the salad that was going to be on offer for lunch."
33 overs: Aus 124-5
Lordy, Owais Shah makes an absolute Ovaltine fielding at mid-on, humiliated in front of a full house as the ball nutmegs him to leak a needless single. Swanny looks as if someone has stolen his favourite Radiohead CD and used it as a mini dartboard. Still, pedestrian pace from the Aussies, which can only be a good thing for England.
32 overs: Aus 121-5
Onions drops short, allowing Hussey to rock back and flat-bat through mid-wicket for four, but the gimme is the only aberration of the over as he regains his line and length to keep James Hopes quiet for the rest of the over.
Chris, Bahrain, TMS inbox:
"Eddie Hemmings was fatter than that lot put together. And he played for England. And he was quite good. And he ranked high on the Chubbington Scale."
31 overs: Aus 116-5
Another smart over from Swannage, who has Hopes fumbling around like a teenager on his first date. Just three from the over.
Paul, Salisbury, TMS inbox:
"I'd like to champion the larger left-armers - Ian Blackwell and 'Fat Sam' Patel...who if memory serves is the last England bowler to take an ODI five-fer."
30 overs: Aus 113-5
Graham Onions returns and sniffs the willow of Hopes' outside edge with two successive deliveries which hold their line outside off stump. Just a single from Hussey at the start of the over, England have this game by the jugular.
Kelvin, TMS inbox:
"I recall Rodney Marsh was a bit of a porker. They used to sing 'He's fat, he's round, he's bouncing on the ground, Rodney Marsh
" at Test matches."
29 overs: Aus 112-5
New man James Hopes pushes Swann's last delivery of the over into the off side, ending another sensational over from the Notts tweaker.
28.5 overs: Aus 112-5 Wicket White bowled Swann 1
Bit shout from the England boys as Hussey pushes forward to Swann, but once again umpire Rauf is unmoved. Replays suggest that the ball hit pad before bat, but in full speed that's absolutely impossible to call. However, all is forgiven as Cameron White, the top scorer in the series, is bowled off an inside edge as he gingerly pushes to a ball that turns and bounces off the track. If you've just tuned in and are just about to send me abuse about getting the teams mixed up, yes, Australia are batting.
27 overs - WICKET - Clarke run out 38 Aus 110-4
Hussey nibbles Collingwood into the off-side for one before Clarke eases into the leg-side for a single of his own. Little shorter from Collingwood and Hussey rocks back and steers him to point for one more. And we've got a wicket - Clarke going for a quick single to short fine-leg, Morgan with the throw and Collingwood whipping the bails off.
26 overs: Aus 107-3
More tweak for Swann, who keeps things tight with just two from the over.
26 overs: Aus 105-3
Urgh! Rank long-hop from Colly as Hussey tucks in and absolutely spanks a vicious pull through mid-wicket for four, while a couple of doubles help Australia to three figures.
Peter, Suffolk, TMS inbox:
"Could we put together a portly all-time XI? Milburn, Cowdrey, Grace and Gatting would form the spine of a fine batting order. Bresnan and Silverwood could be bowlers, but we are struggling for a wicketkeeper. 'Blob' Taylor perhaps?"
25 overs: Aus 96-3
Really smart bowling from Swann. Ponting was looking for an expansive drive through the off-side, but the ball grips off the pitch as the Aussie skipper miscues the ball to Collingwood, who takes a straightforward low catch, much to Swann's delight and the Nottinghamshire man completes an impressive wicket maiden.
24.5 overs: Aus 96-3 Wicket Ponting ct Collingwood b Swann 53
Inspirational change from Straussy as a loopy Swann off-break is mishit by Ponting straight into the hands of Paul Collingwood at short midwicket. In comes Mike Hussey.
23 overs: Aus 96-2
Clarke skips down the track in an effort to give Colly the huge Larry Dooley, but can't quite get enough willow to clear the infield. Still, more efficient running and the duo push the run-rate to four an over. Matt
, below, Monty Lynch was one of my prize stickers in the World of Cricket 83 sticker book. He had this big old smile to suggest he had tucked into a particularly generous Oval lunch, while team-mate Sylvester Clarke wore the expression of a man held in a call-centre queue.
Matt, Oxford, TMS inbox:
"After one of the selectors was allegedly misheard to say 'How about lunch?', Monte Lynch played three one-day internationals for England in the late 80s. Given his ample girth and his debut score of a big fat zero, surely he scoops today's Tim Bresnan Chumliness Award?"
22 overs: Aus 91-2
Oh no, Owais Shah just went through a warm-up delivery, that's like ordering the most expensive thing on the menu at The Ivy, only to see Basil Brush with the chef's hat on through the kitchen doors. Good running between the Aussie pair sees them double up to add four more from Bresnan's sixth over.
22 overs: Aus 87-2
After scratching around like Pigpen from Charlie Brown (ask your dad if you're under 25), Clarke launches Collingwood high over mid-off for a one-bounce four before Ponting rocks on to his back foot and smears a not altogether short delivery through midwicket for four, his eighth of his innings to score his 68th one-day half century. The man is in some serious nick right now.
21 overs: Aus 75-2
A smart throw from Paul Collingwood from, backward point uproots the middle stump at the non-striker's end with Ponting scampering back into his ground after eagerly backing up. Umpire Rauf decides there's no need to go the third umpire, although Collingwood isn't happy with his decision. And replays indicate why - it looks like Ponting had his bat in the air when the stumps were broken, although it's a tight call. Two more runs from Bresnan's over - but there could have been a lot more on offer for the hosts.
20 overs: Aus 73-2
Ugly hoik from Ponting, foot nowhere near the pitch of the ball but manages to collect a couple over mid-on from a Colly cutter. We're in full one-day middle-overs mode right now, singles on offer all over the park as three further runs are added to the tally.
19 overs: Aus 68-2
Better over from Bresnan, with Ponting pushing a single to third man to bring up the 50-partnership.
18 overs: Aus 66-2
Collingwood offers a delivery not quite on half-volley length which Clarke mishits just short of mid-on as England's Twenty20 captain finishes up another tidy six deliveries, leaking just two runs. Don
, below, Ian Austin is the chumliest character I can remember, although Colin Milburn and WG Grace from a few years back could put away an entire horse with space left over to polish off the entire cake collection of the Walton-on-the-Naze village fete.
Don, TMS inbox:
"I wonder who the stoutest England player was - I recall Colin Cowdrey in his later career had a certain chumliness."
17 overs: Aus 64-2
Ponting pushes for a quick single to mid-wicket where Andrew Strauss' smart pick-up and throw dismantles the bails at the bowler's end, but Ponting is well home and has the nous to double up to take advantage of the deflection. More singles and after finding themselves under the cosh for the first time in his never-ending series, Australia look reasonably comfortable as the lacquer fades from the new ball.
Mark in Aix en Provence, France, TMS inbox:
"Hi, a few Bresnan words that come to mind: beefy, portly, strapping, portly, thick-set, hefty, bulky, well-padded. That should keep you busy for the next few updates."
16 overs: Aus 58-2
A huge cheer erupts around the ground as local lad Paul Collingwood earns his first over of the day with Matt Prior standing up to the stumps wearing a helmet. His array of cutters and slower balls makes run scoring lugubrious, with just one leaked from a tidy over.
15 overs: Aus 57-2
Wouldn't say the runs are flowing like a ripe Merlot in Chester-le-Street, but Ponting shuffles another leg-side delivery off his pads down past fine leg for four, runs which enable him to overtake Inzamam-ul-Haq in the all-time leading one-day runs scorers. He now just trails Sri Lanka's Sanath Jayasuriya and India's Sachin Tendulkar. Awesome achievement.
Kieran, Leeds, TMS inbox:
"Is that 100 meetings between the two sides this year? It is what it feels like this summer."
14 overs: Aus 52-2
After being peppered with far too many good deliveries on an around his off stump, Michael Clarke tucks into a juicy short ball outside off stump from Onions, wiping the vestiges of Hollandaise sauce from his parched lips as the ball lollops its way to the deep cover boundary for four before a whipped single, taking him to 11 from 34 balls.
Fenners Builders, TMS inbox:
"The most fitting adjective: as a man of similar dimensions I can tell you that my wife refers to my 'love handles' as 'chumlies' and I wonder if the singular 'chumley' (meaning fat beggar) should now be coined as an officially accepted BBC-English word."
13 overs: Aus 47-2
The bur...the stout Tim Bresnan ambles in for his first joust of the day, which almost results in a run-out as Clarke orders Ponting to return to his crease as Matt Prior whips off the bails following a strong throw from Joe Denly at third man. But the Aussie skipper is comfortably back in his ground and soon dispatches another crackerjack drive, this time straight past the bowler for four. A stifled appeal for lbw ends the over.
Brandon, Kent, TMS inbox:
"Tim Bresnan? How about rotund? Or just plain fat?" You're a harsh man Brandon.
12 overs: Aus 42-2
Ponting moves to 29 with a controlled pull down to fine leg for a single, while Clarke turns his 24th delivery behind square for a single to move to four. Hardly swashbuckling, but a good indication of the favourable bowling conditions. Three more singles follow as TMS scorer Malcolm Ashton tells us this match is the 100th meeting between the two sides. Bit quiet out there, let's have some banter via the TMS inbox
, text 81111
(with the word cricket before your message) or the 606 website
11 overs: Aus 37-2
Bit of off-side filth from Anderson, pitching short and wide, giving Ponting the opportunity to free his arms and cut to point for four, beating the fruitless dive of the burly Tim Bresnan. What other adjectives apart from "burly" or "chunky" describe the Yorkshire terrier?
10 overs: Aus 32-2
More tight lines from las Cebollas, as Onions would be known in Spain, restricting the veteran Aussie duo two just two singles. Plenty of lively movement, the sun is belting down and Tottenham are going to end Chelsea's winning start in the Premier League - what more could you want?
9 overs: Aus 30-2
I haven't seen so many shouldered arms from the Aussie batsmen since the last day of The Oval Test, which tells you how much the ball is singing on and off the pitch. Ponting unravels another picture-perfect drive through cover for four but it looks to be his last scoring shot as England go up for another huge appeal, only for umpire Asad Rauf to keep his right index finger firmly down by his side. Another fantastic decision as replays clearly show the ball brushed Ponting's front pad before thudding into Prior's gloves.
8 overs: Aus 26-2
Another good over from Onions, using the assistance offered by the pitch to keep Clarke earnest. Two singles from the over, but absolutely nothing to clobber.
Paul Grunill, BBC Sport assistant editor, TMS inbox:
"Last night I had a dream about this game which ended in controversy when Merv Hughes ran onto the outfield and punched one of the umpires. Should anything like that happen this afternoon I trust the ICC will issue a strongly worded statement of condemnation."
7 overs: Aus 24-2
Loose shot from Ponting, who sneaks a single with a miscued drive which ends up behind square off Anderson. Clarke gets off the mark with a tidy clip through mid-wicket for two but has his heart in his mouth a few balls later as the entire close field contingent go up for an almighty caught behind appeal, but umpire Rauf is once again unmoved. Replays suggest there was no contact with the edge.
Matthew Wright, TMS inbox:
Two things here: One - why didn't we change the team earlier in the series? Two - why couldn't we do this earlier in the series?"
6 overs: Aus 21-2
New man Michael Clarke is dangling his rod outside off stump as Graham Onions works up a decent head of steam, completing a maiden as the Aussie vice-captain wisely eschews a quick single to Eoin Morgan at backward point.
5 overs: Aus 21-2
Anderson drops another leg-side clanger, handing Punter another opportunity to glance off his pads for four. Good comeback from the Lancsman, rapping the Aussie captain on the pads offering no stroke as the ball nips back off the seam, but umpire Asad Rauf is not interested as the ball would've clearly sailed high over the bails.
4 overs: Aus 17-2
More reasons to celebrate for Graham Onions, who has been named as the Beard Liberation Front's Hirsute Cricketer of Summer 2009. First winning the adulation of Lily Allen, now this. What's next? A seat on the cabinet?
3.4 overs: Aus 17-2 Wicket - Paine ct Prior b Onions
Paine gets off the mark with a flowing off-drive, but is back in the hutch a few deliveries later, nibbling a fine delivery which holds its line around off stump. That's Onions' first one-day wicket too. He's been in sensational form for Durham, taking 45 wickets at an average of 15 in their County Championship defence. This is England we're watching in a one-day match, isn't it?
3 overs: Aus 12-1
Quality strokeplay from Ponting, pushing a high elbow drive through the covers before glancing a leg-side side delivery down beyond fine leg for four. My editor has just pointed out my horrid faux pas the over before - we all know Graham Onions is opening the bowling, rather than experimenting with the off-spin of Graeme Swann with the new cherry.
2 overs: Aus 4-1
More encouraging swing for Graham Onions, making his first appearance in an England shirt since the Headingley fourth Test debacle. Ponting shoulders arms to two useful deliveries before punching an attractive stroke through point for three.
1 over: Aus 1-1
Punter shuffles to the crease and squirts the first run of the day past gully down to third man. The overhead conditions suggest England's seamers should be licking their lips like a cat who has just got the job of nocturnal security at the national cream convention at Earl's Court.
0.4 overs: Wicket - Watson ct Swann b Anderson 0 Aus 0-1
Beauty first up from Anderson, nibbling off the pitch and whizzing past the edge of Watson's hefty blade. But he's gone two balls later to a similar delivery, edging straight into the hands of Graeme Swann stationed at first slip. Ring the bells!
Wispy white clouds decorate a cobalt-blue sky as Shane Watson and the seriously impressive Tim Paine walk out just behind England's fielders. James Anderson to bowl the first over of the day.
It's a sell-out in Chester-le-Street and the sun is belting down on the faithful, with a couple of patrons already piling into golden liquid refreshment. It reminds me of an episode of Cheers when Norm walks in and orders a beer from Woody, who says: "But isn't it a little too early for a beer?" Norm says: "Ah heck, put a cornflake in it".
Morning you. Yes, it's almost finished. England have won the toss
and will field first
at the Riverside. A few changes to tell you about - Graham Onions
will make his one-day debut on his home ground while Durham team-mate Paul Collingwood
returns. Out go Ryan Sidebottom and Dimitri Mascarenhas. Meanwhile, Ben Hilfenhaus will make his first appearance in an Australia shirt for a month, with Nathan Bracken making way. Michael Clarke and Mitchell Johnson also return, with Callum Ferguson and Peter Siddle sat on the balcony.