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Page last updated at 16:45 GMT, Friday, 6 June 2008 17:45 UK

England v NZ Third Test day two as it happened

THIRD TEST, Trent Bridge (close, day two):
England 364 v New Zealand 96-6

James Anderson claimed a Test best 6-42 as New Zealand closed day two of the final Test 268 behind England at 96-6.

Anderson struck with his third ball and produced a stunning display of swing.

He dislodged Ross Taylor and Daniel Flynn in the same over and the Kiwis were glad to leave the field when bad light intervened in the final hour.

A dream day for Anderson began with his highest Test batting score (28) in a 76 stand with Stuart Broad, who struck a maiden Test fifty as England added 91.


e-mail (with 'For Tom Fordyce' in the subject), text 81111 (with "CRICKET" as the first word) or use 606. (Not all contributions can be used)

By Tom Fordyce



1742: Stumps are being plucked and the covers brought on - that's it for the day. Jim will have to wait. They'll extend play on Saturday, we're being told. One million thanks for all the emails as always; apologies if I couldn't use yours. You should see the rate they come in at - about 20 a minute. Hats off all round.

1740: Hmmm. The covers aren't on, but there's no sign of umps or players. And it hasn't got any lighter. I might have given you a bum steer there.

1720: I'd say there's life in this day yet. It's a touch brighter thattaway, and most of the punters are staying parked. Hold off the champers, Jimmy.


Bad light stops play
Boos ring out around the ground as the umpires wave their light meters around. They're not going to offer the light to the bats... yup, they are, and Vettori and Hopkins are up the pavilion steps like they're on bungee cords. Jimmy hides his disappointment with a big grin as he's cheered off the park.

1702: WICKET - Oram c Ambrose b Anderson 7, NZ 93-6

Wicket falls

There's no stopping this man today - his highest Test score with the blade, and now all six victims. Oram is mesmerised by a tempter outside off and Ambrose swallows the simplest catch behind the timbers. Can Jim bowl from both ends? What am I saying? He could probably walk across the Trent at the moment.

1654: NZ 92-5
Edginess from Jay, this time through vacant third slip for four. There's a man walking towards the bar wearing a giant 2D-mask of Siders, held in place with a well-constructed neck brace.

Kiwi fruit

Thought you might enjoy this pic sent in by Nigel Fidler of a sad Kiwi cricketer:

1650: NZ 84-5
Jamminess from Hopkins - an outside edge of the toiling Siders that rattles past second slip and away to the fence for four. Quick single and then Jay leaves well alone with three salivating slips awaiting indiscretions.

1643: NZ 79-5
Giant Jay Coboram strolls into the valley of death. Jim cracks him on the front stick and bellows an appeal like a 1995 Dominic Cork. Umpire Hair shakes his over-large head. 86 more runs needed to avoid the follow-on, I should say.

1635: WICKET - How c Ambrose b Anderson 40, NZ 77-5

Wicket falls

He's done it again! How is lured in by a winking away-teaser and skinnies a touch behind. Jim's now on 5-34, his fifth Test five-for - but why are we talking about five-fors when he's going to take all ten?

1631: NZ 71-4
How flicks elegantly outside his pads and picks up a deleicate four to fine leg. A single later, there's a leg gully, two slips and two gullies in for Hopkins. He squeezes one off the outside edge past KP at the straighter gully for his first Test runs.

1626: NZ 66-4
Jim sniffs fresh blood and glides in to Hopkins. The new man plays with all the easy confidence of a blindfolded grandmother. Bristling maiden.

1621: NZ 66-4
Gareth Hopkins in for his Test batting dayboo. Broad pushes towards leg against How and is punched way to the mid-wicket fence. He flicks his blond curtains out of his eyes and marches off in a semi-bate.

From Ken in Pontypridd, TMS inbox: "How about painting a cricket box red and wearing it on the outside of a pair of black tights with a red leather jacket? Hey presto - you're Larry Blackmon of Cameo."

1616: WICKET - Flynn lbw Anderson 0, NZ 62-4

Out for a duck

Enormous appeal as new-man Flynn is trapped slap in front - Umpire Hair has a little think and raises a porky finger. Jimmy screams like a banshee and is immediately enveloped by caterwauling compadres. 4-30 now for Anderson - he's even more on for his 10-for now...

1612: WICKET - Taylor c Pietersen b Anderson 21, NZ 62-3

Wicket falls

Half-hearted drive at a classic Jim away-nibbler from Taylor, and the ball slides off the edge into the grateful paws of KP in the gully. Jimmy is still on for a 10-for...

1607: NZ 61-2
The indefatigable Jimmy continues from the Pavilion End. How stays tucked away until a tantalising wider one draws a a flashing blade - and the ball skims just over Alastair Cook's stretching fingers at gully. A touch grey overhead, but let's not panic.

1603: NZ 57-2
No biscuits. Gutted. This could be a long session. Malfoy Broad serves up a blank maiden as Taylor stays tidy.

From Joe in London, TMS inbox: "Thank you all for the suggestions. After careful consideration I'm going to go for a re-enactment of Kris Kross, who will, I'm reliably informed, make you jump. Just got to hope I remember my flies will be behind me."


1539: NZ 57-2
Jim's coming back from the other end. The new 'old' ball seems to have more dart about it than the old one - Jim aims at off and ships a wide as it disappears towards slip. Next ball he brings it back a country mile as How shoulders arms, and the ball zips over the off-bail. That's tea - anyone for an Earl Grey and Nice biscuit?

From Tim in Masham, TMS inbox: "Go as 30 different Elvis's, one for each of his 30 number ones. Good thing is you then cover all weights and sizes. And you can eat as many ropey cheeseburgers as you like."

1530: NZ 56-2
Colly drops short and is thwacked away happily by How through mid-wicket. The ball crashes into the boundary boards and the umpires decide too much damage has been done - they call for the box of replacements. Umpire Bucknor holds up a candidate with long bony fingers and squints at its seam.

1525: NZ 52-2
Incident-packed first over from Malfoy. First Jimmy - clearly not resting at all - tries to run Taylor out and succeeds only in barging him to the ground. He takes a knee to the ear for his troubles but spends less time on the deck than Nelson at Trafalgar. Taylor is then almost bowled when he fails to notice Malfoy cantering in - he's still looking at his feet when the bowler's into his delivery fling, and jabs down in surprised fashion to save his bacon at the death.

From Martin Gritton, TMS inbox: "How about 30 Freddie Mercurys? Apparently everyone had to turn up dressed as him for one of his own birthday bashes."

1520: NZ 47-2
Tell you what - the Colly wobblers nearly do the bizzo straight away. How, perhaps surprised at their lack of pace and menace, is through a pull almost before the ball has bounced and toe-ends high in the air. Jimmy, perhaps unfairly parked at short extra cover, can't quite scramble underneath it.

From Rob in London: "For Joe in Ottery. Army surplus camouflage overalls and large hoop earrings and you've got the full Missy Elliott look."

1517: NZ 46-2
Could be time for Jim to take a blow here. The bug-eyed Taylor steps forward and Twenty20s him through the covers again for four more. Is that Colly loosening his auburn shoulders at the other end?

From Charlie, TMS inbox: "Might I suggest to Joe that they all go as one giant (or slightly smaller than average) blue whale and see how long it takes for pain to travel from the tail to the head."

1512: NZ 42-2
Not much joy for Siders here - he's looking horribly like the 2001 version rather than the devilish destroyer of the winter. How leans gracefully into a cover drive before Malfoy Broad blows a possible run-out sniff with a fumble as Taylor scampers.

From Ben Archer, TMS inbox: "Go as the Polyphonic Spree, there are at least 30 of them and all you need is a robe and a tambourine."

1508: NZ 36-2
Taylor blazes away like a wounded gunslinger, battering Jimmy just past a groping cover to oohs from the slips. In the stands, a group of men dressed in safari suits and pith helmets force lager into the mouth of a man dressed as a tiger.

From Jonas in London, TMS inbox: "Pop Star costume suggestion: take 5 sticks with you and go as the manager of Girls Aloud."

1505: NZ 30-2
Siders bends them in to How. One squirts off the inside edge just shy of the sprawling Bell at short midwicket. Good singing in the refreshed stands.

From Mat, TMS inbox: "Re: Joe's pop star fancy dress - how about the Jackson Five, Three Degrees, Five Star, Boyz 2 Men, Pollen 8, U2, 4Hero and a one man band - that's your 30."

1501: NZ 29-2
Taylor's battling his own demons out there. He throws a panicked blade at a wide one and laughs maniacally and then middles one like a dream through cover. Jimmy responds with a pearler which swings more than the Crewe by-election.

1456: NZ 24-2
Siders makes a noise like a beached blue whale as he slams one into Taylor's front pad. Umpo Hair shakes a stern head. Massive chuntering from Boycott on the audio version of TMS - he's still not over the shots played in the two dismissals.

1452: NZ 21-2
Where were we? All-rounder Jimmy kippers Taylor completely with another delightful away-bender, but then strays leggish and is clipped away for three.

From Joe in Ottery St Mary, TMS inbox: "Help needed for popstar themed outfit for Sunday at Trent Bridge - there's going to be about 30 of us so I need something different (and easy) - any ideas?"

How about every different incarnation of Madonna, from Desperately Seeking Susan to wrinkly electro witch?

By Sam Lyon

1447: NZ 18-2
Something's still not quite right with Sid and after a harmless over, Jamie How punches him through mid-wicket for four. That's me done folks - uber-fit Tommy F will take you through the rest of the day. Bootiful.

Wicket falls
1439 - WICKET! McCullum b Anderson 9, NZ 14-2
An utter ripper from Anderson, Aggers on TMS describing it as "an outswinger's perfect dismissal". Again Jimmy A pitches it up, swinging into McCullum's stumps and then seaming away, smashing the off-stump out of the ground and Mucca has to go. Ross Taylor sees out the over but Anderson is flying.

1436 - NZ 12-1
Jamie How is looking tighter than a Tom Fordyce wallet come beer o'clock at the moment, prompting Sid to feint a throw at the stumps that serves only to almost tear his arm out of its socket. A maiden.

"With phrases such as 'Home-Boy' and 'No drama' now turning up in cricket commentary, is it safe to surmise that the world of 'Gangsta' Rap and International Test Cricket have finally collided?"
Ian Winter, Watford via the TMS inbox

1432: NZ 12-1
McCullum won't be holding back, driving sweetly through the covers for three - the gazelle-like Monty retrieving from just inside the boundary rope. He's still muttering about that Bucknor decision, I reckon. There's a steely gaze under that docile exterior, definitely.

"My colleague and I are chuckling away to ourselves, barely doing any work and thoroughly enjoying the cricket commentary... and then you go and mention Take That. Shame on You!"
Ian & Matt, men of much metal! via the TMS inbox

1428: NZ 8-1
Not quite on the money just yet, Sid, and Jamie How pinches a couple off an unremarkable over.

1424: NZ 6-1
Brendon McCullum comes to the crease, rather earlier than he would've hoped you'd think, and Anderson zips one past his outside edge with his first delivery. Close. A thick edge earns Mucca a four off the last ball - this could be a very interesting passage of play.

Wicket falls
1420 - WICKET! Redmond b Anderson 1, NZ 2-1
James Anderson will share the new ball and he thinks he's got Redmond caught behind first up - only for Bucknor to shake his head wearily. Replays suggest that might just have been a cracking decision, the bat hitting the ground but not the ball, but the England fielders are dismayed nonetheless. That is until two balls later when Anderson rips out Redmond's off stump with one that swings and then seams off a full length. A beauty.

1417: NZ 2-0
Home-boy Ryan Sidebottom will get first use of the ball as usual for England and there's a hint - but no more - of swing. Jamie How gets a single to cover first up and Aaron Redmond gets off the mark off the penultimate ball. No drama.

"I now have this image of Tom jogging round the corridors of Television Centre (see below) with a big grin on his face waving to the likes of Ross, Paxman, Norton and Alagiah, who then join him an 'Amarillo style' lap of the building. Bizarre."
Simon Norris, London via the TMS inbox
(And that's exactly how it happens mate... honestly... SL)

"If you were an England bowler, could you really keep a straight face in the nets as Monty strolled out and announced that he would like you to pitch it up in the slot so he could work on his six hitting?"
Charlie Gamble via the TMS inbox


Wicket falls
1406 - WICKET! Panesar c McCullum b Vettori 0, Eng 364 all out
Time for some shots do we reckon? Sid thinks so as he drives a couple into the covers before cutting a single to bring Monty P on strike... and he's gone! Vettori brings one in and it crashes off the pads and into silly point's safe hands. Umpire Bucknor raises his finger - and Panesar can't believe it, standing there frozen as if someone has paused the music at an under-9's birthday party. You'll have to go, son, but a decent effort all round.

"Everybody's gone - no texts. All eaten by dinosaurs and whales or still down the pub for lunch. My time to sneak in to the 'live text' without anyone knowing. Fourth time lucky, unless that Tom fella is reading the emails too well."
Richard, Co Cork via the TMS inbox

Wicket falls
1401 - WICKET! Broad b Martin 64, Eng 361-9
I've said it once and I'll say it again - Take That! (Sorry). Stuart Broad pounces on a short one from Chris Martin and kerplunks it on the pull for a crashing boundary. The Trent Bridge crowd's adoration for one of their own continues to grow... only for the dashingly handsome number eight to miss one that angles in at him and the youngster has to go for a hugely impressive 64. Monty P - who was apparently practising hitting sixes in the nets - comes in.

1357: Eng 355-8
As Take That once said (well, probably a lot more than once, to be fair) have a little patience... Daniel Vettori wheels away, Broady pinches a single and Sid fronts up well. One from the over.

1354: Eng 354-8
Sid continues to scratch around like a hairy man with fleas, but he sees off another probing Chris Martin over to extend the Kiwis' frustration.

1351: Eng 354-8
There's not much in this pitch at all for Vettori, but the spinner still draws a false shot from Broad off the last delivery - just his luck, then, that Broad's inside edge flies past mid-on and away for a boundary.

1348: Eng 350-8
Chris Martin will share the opening overs after lunch and he's accurate enough, getting the odd one to zip past Sid's defences. The Roger Daltrey lookalike stands firm, though, and it's a maiden.

That's 50
1343: Eng 350-8
Daniel Vettori gets one to rip through Sid's defences first up, but it shoots past the stumps and keeper and scuttles away for four byes. Sid dashes a single to bring Broad on strike... and the left-hander punts a beauty off his pads for four to bring up his 50 and let me off the hook. Jubbly.

1340: What's happening people? I'll be talking you through the next hour or so while Tommy F tears himself away from the action at Trent Bridge to dash around the Television Centre like a madman on the run. These folks who are into running and stuff - weird, no?

Anyway, Stuart Broad and Ryan Sidebottom are making their way back to the crease... what are the chances of me 'bokking' Broady's maiden half-century? Apologies in advance...

By Tom Fordyce


1300: Eng 341-8
Whoosh - Siders gets a single to put Broad on strike, but he's lost the magic touch with his wand. A wristy one to cover looks like it'll get through, but How makes the stop. That'll be lunch - defo England's morning. Don't know about you, but I'm starving...

1257: Eng 340-8
Broad paddles, pokes and pushes - but he still can't get that precious run. Vettori smirks. Three maidens on the bounce. One more over before lunch.

1255: Eng 340-8
Big ell bee shout from Jay against Siders. Looks like that was slipping down leg. Outside edge to third man for a chirpy two.

From Scaz in Portsmouth, TMS inbox: "A friend of mine has a condition called familial dysautonomia, in which the patient does not feel pain - quite the party trick I can tell you. Children are especially impressed when he picks up hot coals from the BBQ."

1251: Eng 338-8
Malfoy is desperate for that single, and Vettori is desperate not to let him have it. Broad tries a streaky flip-sweep but can't get the ball past the in-field. Can he get there before lunch?

1247: Eng 338-8
Siders steps into line for each Jay delivery and then removes his bat carefully. His Sideshow Bob curls are escaping from beneath his helmet like bed-springs from a torn mattress.

From Cazz in Bristol, TMS inbox: "If you were empathic with the Chippendale Mupp, would you feel his pain before he does?"

1243: Eng 338-8
Siders in to join Malfoy at the creases. Vettori offers Broad zero width and he can't squeeze away the single he needs for his debut Test 50.

From Greg in Southwark, TMS inbox: "Re - the blue whale battle, I'm reliably informed that, due to its surprisingly small throat, a blue whale cannot swallow an object wider than a beach ball. My advice to Tom would therefore be to ditch any pinching manoeuvres and just make sure that, throughout life, you keep yourself at an above-beach-ball level of rotundity in case of such a confrontation."

1240: WICKET - Anderson c Hopkins b Oram 28, Eng 338-8

Wicket falls

Ach - with his maiden Test ton just 72 runs away, Jim pokes at Jay and thins behind to a yelling Hopkins. Warm applause as he slopes off - looks genuinely disappointed, Jimmy.

1237: Eng 337-7
Cruel laughter from the warming-up crowd as Broad slashes Jay to Jamie How's right at gully, only to be spilled. Tough chance that - if he hangs on he'll be telling his grandchildren about it.

From Tony Reid, TMS inbox: "How would a hip brain help? Wouldn't it have to tell the main brain what was happening anyway?"

1233: Eng 333-7
Giant Jay Coboram arrives for a spell before lunch. Single apiece to the batsmen, and the partnership's up to 71. Somewhere in the England dressing-room, Colly and Bell pack their bags.

From Adam in London, TMS inbox: "To Tom in Daventry (1142) - sadly you will not escape from your whale after pinching his tail. Speed of pain conduction relies on both the diameter of the nerve fibre and whether or not it is a myelinated ('white matter') or unmyelinated ('grey matter') neuron. Whales have wider fibres and a higher proportion of white matter in their nervous system (so signals travel faster), otherwise they'd never get anything done as it'd take too long to think - a bit like me before morning coffee."

1228: Eng 331-7
Vettori toils and twirls. Jim sweeps elegantly for two and then comes charging down the track like Sir Both of Beef. He almost yorks himself and retires to his crease a touch chastised.

1223: Eng 329-7
Now Malfoy wants a slice of the spotlight - he goes up on his toes and drills a delightful drive through the covers for four to move to 41. As the applause dies down he steps forward to breeze another through exactly the same slot to go to 45, his highest Test score too. On the England balcony, Vaughan is making the sort of disgusted face that suggests a team-mate has left a little tommy-squeaker in the air.

From Suss in Finchley, TMS inbox: "Re: Tom from Daventry: If you were pitched in a marine battle with a blue whale youd have the advantage. Blue whales only have the filtery plankton eating tooth arrangement. I think octopuses have the thickest insulated neurones and so the quickest responses, so you'd be best not to tackle one of them."

1217: Eng 320-7
Like the class batsman he is, Jim follows that brutal attack with an over of defensive calm. Cloudy overhead, but when you're as good as Jimmy, who cares about swing?

From John in Bristol, TMS inbox: "Re: Matt in Cambridge - I don't think it's too far wrong. Iżm 6'2" and at a particularly rowdy barbeque the other week my lovely lady kicked me in the backside as I bent down to grab some more burgers. It was a good 2-3 seconds before I realised that her foot had gone around and clipped a glancing blow on what would have been the contents of my box."

1213: Eng 319-7
This is now the greatest innings of Jimmy's life. Vettori tosses one up and gets clouted through mid-wicket with a graceful sweep for four. Jimmy's cantered up to 23, his highest Test score by two clear runs. Vettori's glasses are close to melting, so angry is his stare.

From Mark Sennit, TMS inbox: "I recall from reading my 'big book of dinasaurs' as a child that the really large ones, who could not leave the water, had a secondary brain in their hip to deal with the problem of pain in long tails. Maybe this applies to blue whales"

1209: Eng 312-7
O'Brien from the other end, and he must have wished he hadn't bothered - Jim leans in to a full one and creams it through cover for a four that Colly would kill for. That's the 50 partnership - remarkable scenes. O'Brien winces like a Chippendale Mupp waking up.

1206: Eng 308-7
Skipper Vettori allows himself a twirl. Broad is steadfast.

From Huw in Maesteg, TMS inbox: "When you get an injury, you get a quck flash of pain from 'fast' nerve fibres and then a slower burst of pain, from 'slow' nerve fibres (presumably the ones in the 5000 mile long tail). You must have had the experience of hitting your thumb with a hammer. It hurts a bit immediately then there is a lot of pain within a second or so."

1200: Eng 308-7
Jimmy hits two of the best shots of his life - a rampaging drive off the front foot and a smasher off the back foot to a short one. Unfortunately, they both go straight down fielders' necks. Drinks o'clock here.

From Mike in Newcastle, TMS inbox: "To defend John Vinall, I think he was researching slow moving pain e.g. a minor stomach cramp or in this case a bite on the tail. Extreme pain will move exponentially faster than minor pain."

1155: Eng 306-7
Here come the runs - a slasher from Jim to the third man boundary, a clunky mis-hit drive for one and an edge from Broad at midriff height through the vacant third slip slot. Anguish from Vettori.

From Andrew Devine, TMS inbox: "Pain is immediate. I remember reading the commentary to the last Ashes series in Australia, and I felt the pain as you wrote; and I'm in Kazakhstan - thousands of miles away."

1151: Eng 296-7
Mills beats Anderson all ends up outside off, before Jim slices through gully for a dooblay. Quiet at Trent Bridge so far - the stands are filling up nicely, but there's papers to read and first-drink decisions to be made.

1147: Eng 294-7
Tight from Martin to Anderson. Two play-and-misses and a jabby single to leg.

From Tom Williams in Daventry, TMS inbox: "Does the speed of pain-travel apply for all creatures? For hypothetical purposes, if I was pitched into a marine battle could I therefore pinch a blue whale's tail and have over half a minute to make good my escape before he/she noticed?"

1142: Eng 293-7
Ah-ha - Malfoy's got a logo on his Weller polo-neck that Bucko's not happy with. A piece of white tape is brought out and placed carefully over the offending brand. On the England balcony, Michael Vaughan is glugging down a cup of tea from a large yellow mug. Maiden from Mills.

1138: Eng 293-7
Broad now calls for assistance from Umpire Bucknor. In a gesture of disturbing intimacy, Bucko reaches up and tucks up Broad's shirt collars, and then appears to tickle him under the chin. Leg bye off Martin.

From Matt in Cambridge, TMS inbox: "Re: John Vinall. 2 feet/second? That can't be right. If something heavy lands on the foot of a 6ft tall man, it doesn't take 3 seconds for him to feel the pain, does it?"

1134: Eng 292-7
Broad jabs down late to fine leg before Mills whistles one past Jimmy's prodder. Not easy out there at the moment. Broad has an arm-protector on his forearm that looks like a shin-pad. Despite the humidity, he also appears to be wearing a white polo-neck - quite Weller Style Council.

1128: Eng 291-7
Good Lord. Martin spears one in at Jimmy's off-stump and then draws it away with the magical touch of Paul Daniels at his peak. At second slip, McCullum is picking at a callous on his right palm.

1124: Eng 289-7
Jimmy's eye is clearly now in. He wafts like Gower to a wider one and sends the ball skimming down to the point boundary. Three Kiwis give chase - Daniel Flynn flips the ball back, McCullum hurls.

From John Vinall, TMS inbox: "8 hours for the pain signals to travel from one end of the tail to the other? According to, pain signals travel at an average of 0.61m/s (or roughly 2 feet/second). 8 hours is: 8x60x60 = 8x3600 = 28800 seconds, so roughly 57600 feet - or approximately ten and a half miles. That's a good length tail."

1120: Eng 285-7
More angling across Jimmy from Martin. One slides too far and is called a wide; another climbs like Hillary and almost takes his nose off.

1115: Eng 284-7
Mills to Jimmy A, and there's another edge - this time pinging between first and second slip for a streaky four. Jimmy smiles with the mental equilibrium of a meditating monk.

From Daniel, TMS inbox: "Re: tail alarm clock. I do something similar with my blonde girlfriend. I tell her a joke just before bed and she wakes up laughing at 7.30am every morning on the dot. Unfortunately last night's was a bit much and I ended up being late for work today."

1111: Eng 279-7
He's gone - no he hasn't! Martin slides one across Broad, gets a fat edge and yells in pain as Brendon McCullum spills a simple pouch at second slip. McCullum can't believe it. No wonder he's not keeping wicket in this match - Monty could have bagged that with his eyes shut. I'm exaggerating, but you know what I mean.

From Jim Higham in Abuja, Nigeria, TMS inbox: "The Dr Seuss creature you are after is, I think, the Chippendale Mupp."

1107: Eng 279-7
Kyle Mills from the other end. Broad pushes through cover for two and then to deep point for another. Two slips and a gully in; some wobble so far.

1102: Eng 276-7
Chris Martin to Malfoy Broad, and there's a tickle off the pads for a couple. Three chaps in the crowd dressed as Thunderbirds - maybe Colly's called for International Rescue.

1056: I do recall a creature in a Dr Seuss book - probably his Sleep Book - which had a tail so long he used it as his alarm clock. Before turning in for the night he would bite the end of his tail, and its length would mean that it took eight hours for the sensation of pain to travel to his brain and wake him up. Surprised he didn't make the cut for the last series of Planet Earth.

1050: Speculation all around me on how many England will stick on the board before they're dismissed. Predictions top out at around 45 and bottom off at six. England's tail is longer than a lemur's, you fear.

1040: Oh - hello. All good? Rather looking forward to this morning's action - England have their noses in front, but only by half a nostril. A touch muggy out in the middle - chance of the odd shower later doors, but you'd think that there'd be some swingage for both sides.

see also
England v NZ day two photos
06 Jun 08 |  England
New Zealand in England in 2008
14 Nov 07 |  Cricket

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