WORLD TWENTY20, Durban:
Pakistan 171-9 bt Scotland 120 by 51 runs
LATEST ACTION AS IT HAPPENS (ALL TIMES BST)
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"So I guess that's WHAM! BLAM! Thank you, Sam...it's all over for Scotland."
Newark, UK in the TMS inbox
20th over - WICKET! Haq b Asif 14, Sco 120 all out Umar Gul does his best to make Scotland's score more respectable by allowing a Dewald Nel push through the covers to slip through his legs for four - before Asif gets one through Haq's defence to take the final wicket. A good effort from Scotland - but there's no denying this was a one-sided affair once the Pakistan spin-boys came on. Shahid Afridi in particular was superb, and the boys in green will be force in this tournament and no mistake.
19th over - Sco 114-9 Shoaib Malik brings himself on for a bit of a go - I imagine in the interests of getting this done and dusted asap so they can go and put their feet up - and he gets through his over in approximately 0.7 seconds, accurately enough, and we're minutes away from a Pakistan victory.
"This is great, Pakistan's class is showing at the end. Afridi is man of the match. superb performance."
Tahir Naqash in the TMS inbox
18th over - 111-9 TONK! Dewald Nel wakes the Scottish fans from their slumber with a crash for four - courtesy of a misfield on the boundary by Imran Nazir - but it's all too little, too late. Just that and a single from the over.
""This is a good start from the Scots"
"leave it to Watto man!!"
"it's down to Watts and Brown now"
Sam, I would like you to know that I hold you personally responsible for Scotland's demise."
Rick, Glasgow in the TMS inbox
17th over - Sco 106-9 Dewald Nel denies Gul a hat-trick and he and Haq pinch four off the rest of the over.
17th over - WICKET! Blain b Gul 0, Sco 102-9 Gone first ball! Blain is bowled in identical fashion and he's come and gone quick as you like. The fat lady's warm-up enters its final, frantic stages...
17th over - WICKET! Wright b Gul 14, Sco 102-8 Congratulations to Karl Newbold, who apparently had a £10 bet that Scotland would pass 100 runs - little does he know that my fee for publishing emails on this page is, in fact, £9.90 - but then... wait for it... BLAM! Gul mops up Wright with a beautiful yorker and the all-rounder goes for 14 off 18. Thanks to all those who emailed in that I'd missed the Batman beauty that is Blam - no excuses.
16th over - Sco 99-7 Wright continues to wheel his arms around like a crazy man at a rave, but to no avail, and he and Majid Haq manage just three, measly singles from the over. A quick glance at the Scottish bench suggests post-match beverages are already in mind... and why not.
"So just because I do a little bit of speed eating at the end-of-season bakery sale is no need to call me fat??"
Mr. Gut Bucket of St. Petersburg (aka Noel H) in the TMS inbox
15th over - 96-7 Shahid Afridi will bowl his final over looking for a five-for... it doesn't come, but 4-19 off his four overs is a remarkable effort by anyone's standards.
"Hi, I'm a beautiful young lady, and I have a thing for men who like cricket, especially ones called Sam¿please print my email."
Dave, Stoke in the TMS inbox
Haha, Dave, the lengths some of you go to try to get an email posted amaze - and amuse me - no end. I felt I had to let your mates know of your latest effort...
14th over - Sco 91-7 Yasir Arafat returns to the attack, which means I get a breather for a second thank gawd, but still the boundaries refuse to come for Scotland. Wright is doing his best with a few ugly pull strokes that have all the timing of a broken casio, but just six singles come and that really won't do. That's 81 needed of 36 balls then...
"Sam, please do the right thing and humiliate "superscotland" for his woeful predictions earlier in the day - "Watson and Poonia to get half centuries" - oh dear...."
Neil Morris (and countless others) in the TMS inbox
13th over - Sco 85-7 Hafeez continues but Wright and Haq can only eke out the ones and twos - what they would do for a boundary right now - and it's just five from the over.
12th over - 79-7 WICKET! Smith c b Afridi 11, Sco 79-7 Desperate judgement from Smith - picking out one of two fielders positioned for the reverse sweep to go for 11, just moments after clipping fine for four.
11th over - 72-6 Just two off Hafeez's over - I'd love to tell you more but they're getting through these overs quicker than a fat guy eating cakes at an end-of-season bakery sale.
10th over - Sco 70-6 Well Scotland won't be curbing their attacking strokes, with Colin Smith cutting a beauty square for four after Haq earns four leg byes off a wayward Afridi delivery.
"What percentage of these emails do you actually read? I'm considering entering 'naked Kate Beckinsale' or 'Alex Ferguson groin punch video' in the title to stand out from the crowd and ensure (a first) publication."
Andy M in the TMS inbox
This is just to point out Andy M I read every single one of your emails - apologies that only some get posted but, frankly, most of you are massively disturbed individuals...
10th over - WICKET! Brown c Nazir b Afridi 1, Sco 60-6 What on earth are the Scots playing at??! It was always going to be a question of the Pakistan spinners v Scotland's batsmen but they're going down like flies - Brown attempting another hoik but succeeding only in bottom-edging straight to Nazir.
9th over - WICKET! Watts c Nazir b Hafeez 46, Sco 59-5 Oh deary me, that's not smart cricket. One ball after bludgeoning Hafeez straight back over his head for four, Fraser Watts goes - top-edging straight to Imran Nazir at gully. That's Scotland's charge done for me.
8th over - WICKET! McCallum c Asif b Afridi 0, Sco 54-4 Disaster for Scotland! It's two wickets in the over for Afridi as McCallum gives himself no time at all to get in, hoiking a pull to the boundary where Asif takes a smart catch. Two wickets and two runs from the over - it's down to Watts and Brown now I reckon.
8th over - WICKET! Hamilton c Gul b Afridi 2, Sco 53-3 Gone! Needless swipe from Hamilton just two balls into Afridi's first over and Gul takes the catch near the midwicket boundary. Just what Scotland didn't need - leave it to Watto man!!
7th over - Sco 52-2 Hamilton pinches a couple with a cheeky reverse sweep, and Watts takes advantage of a nervy-looking Hafeez with a couple more consecutive boundaries. The first comes off a hoik over midwicket for a one-bounce four, and the second is a cheeky dab-sweep over fine leg and that's 12 off the over. Jubbly.
6th over - Sco 40-2 Super stuff from Gul, restricting Watts and Hamilton to a single apiece from the rest of the over. That's the end of the powerplay overs and I'd say this one is very much in the balance. Anyone fancy a bit of Dougie Brown heroics later?
"Is there a Facebook group entitled "regular email contributors to TMS text commentary"? And if not, why not? we all clearly have far too much time on our hands..."
John, Manchester in the TMS inbox
6th over - WICKET! Poonia b Gul 4, Sco 38-2 Gul strikes! Terrific delivery from the paceman, full and straight, and Poonia - who has looked out of sorts from the start - plays all round it as it crashes into his stumps.
"Oh dear Sam - a terrible mistake. Now that you've abused your position to self-publicise, we get to abuse it to force you to make your lyrics public. Pranav said he would have done it...I swear...you wouldn't want to fall behind him in our affections would you?
PS Pranav and Stevo also offered to send us a fiver each, just for being such a good audience. If I were you I would outbid them..."
Matt in the TMS inbox
"Shameless self-promotion on the BBC? Are you Chris Moyles in disguise?"
Martin, shocked in Sunderland, in the TMS inbox
5th over - Sco 37-1 It's all about 'Curly' Watts at the moment, the opener taking a step and swiping behind square leg for four. The odd single comes off the rest of the over.
"Using 'innit' in the commentary now? Come on, even your loyal followers and Facebook group creators have standards! :P"
Ollie in the TMS inbox
4th over - Sco 29-1 SPLAT! Two more boundaries to Watts, who edges past his stumps off a no-ball and then opens his shoulders beautifully second time round with a glorious punch down the ground off a free hit for another. Twelve from the over and this is a good start from the Scots.
"Does Sarah keep a printout of all TMS texts so she can keep tabs on people? If so, what was the last comment I had published? (To be honest, I forget but I think it was slightly rude)."
Rick, Dubai in the TMS inbox
3rd over - Sco 17-1 Fraser Watts goes on the attack with a clip down to fine leg for four and the opener then spanks one through midwicket for another - they've got the shots the Scots, but have they got the 'nous'?
2nd over - WICKET! Watson c Hafeez b Gul 2, Sco 9-1 Umar Gul will share the new ball and it's tighter than my brother's wallet at closing time as he concedes just three singles from the over before Watson cuts straight to Hafeez at gully to fall for two. For those who are interested, it is by no means a full house in Durban. In fact there were at least twice as many in attendance at my last gig in Islington... did I mention I'm a singer-songwriter? You've got to love how I can abuse this commentary for self promotion AND flirting with the ladies right? What do you mean no?!
1st over - Sco 6-0 Nervy opening from Fraser Watts and Ryan Watson, picking up a couple of singles off the first five balls and then skewing an outside-edge away for four off the final delivery of Mohammad Asif's over.
"It's like Alan Partridge commentary. THWACK!! That was liquid cricket! Eat my six!"
Babby Jay, Aberdeen in the TMS inbox
20th over - WICKET! Yasir b Nel 17, Pkn 171-9 Yasir Arafat spanks a high ball towards Gavin Hamilton on the midwicket boundary and earns himself a six when Hamilton takes the catch with his foot over the rope. But he's gone off the final ball of the innings - Nel pitching one full and sending the stumps all over the place. Half-decent total in the end - but will it be enough?
"Some of the girls dancing on the boundary rope actually have concave stomachs... which is rather depressing."
Arlo White on BBC Radio 5live
20th over - WICKET! Akmal c Watts b Nel 16, Pkn - 159-8 Akmal's cameo comes to an end as Watts takes another smart catch on the boundary off a sweep-slog.
19th over - Pkn 158-7 My word this is a little bit frantic innit? Can't say I'm enjoying it really, too fast to watch the cricket, too fast to leisurely enjoy your emails, and too fast to flirt with the ladies...rubbish. Ahem, anyway, Yasir Arafat and Kamran Akmal are dealing in nudges and nurdles... that is until Akmal bludgeons the final ball of the over spectacularly over the point boundary for six - just what the doctor ordered.
"Is this the same Mark W from Aberdeen that announced yesterday that fit ladies weren't interested in cricket??? How amusing..."
Sarah, Canterbury in the TMS inbox
18th over - WICKET! Misbah-ul-haq b Wright 23, Pkn 146-7 Craig Wright has done really well today and he keeps the batsmen in check for four deliveries, before Misbah paddles behind square on the offside for a boundary...only to go next ball!! Misbah tries the same shot again but misses and a Wright yorker sneaks under his bat and rattles the off-stump.
"Is that Nadia from big brother writing in? The transsexual part wouldn't bother me but that laugh I could not stand. Sorry but I'm out."
Niall C in the TMS inbox
17th over - Pkn 138-6 SPANKED! Misbah is starting to look the part here, pulling a Dougie Brown long-hop for four before creaming a textbook cover drive for another boundary. And he ends the over with another hoik for four on the sweep and Pakistan are making a late push here.
"The commentator said 'Butt's out' and 'Butt heads to the pavilion'... fnar fnar."
Keith, in his study in Nott'm in the TMS inbox
16th over - Pkn 124-6 Having survived a stumping appeal, Misbah-ul-haq reverse-sweeps for four but again Scotland keep the batsmen in check well. Pakistan should at least be looking for 10 an over from here on in if they are to post a decent score.
16th over - WICKET! Khan c Watts b Haq 41, Pkn 116-6 Khan GOES! Huge blow for Scotland, as Haq induces another slog-sweep from Khan, but he succeeds only in finding Fraser Watts on the long-on boundary.
15th over - Pkn 116-5 More brilliant stuff from John Blain, who returns to the attack to tie up Misbah-ul-haq for four balls before a bit of chin music has Younis giggling like a schoolgirl when he fails to make contact with an audacious hook attempt. Just two from the over.
14th over - Pkn 114-5 A lot rests on Younis's shoulders now, you feel, and he ends the over with a brilliantly timed push down the ground for four.
14th over - WICKET! Afridi c Haq b Wright 22, Pkn 108-5 Well it was always going to be short and sweet from Afridi I suppose and Haq gains some semblance of revenge after being tonked to all parts in the last over by taking a simple catch at leg slip.
"You can inform Marc W that I could not watch horse racing and golf all day. But I am flippin' gorgeous. So it's swings and roundabouts."
Nadia in the TMS inbox
13th over - Pkn 104-4 WALLOP! Afridi waits all of one ball before smashing Haq over the midwicket boundary. Another slog-sweep brings him four and then a top-edged hoik flies straight down the wicket for six. The big man has to run for three after another swipe, which brings Khan onto strike and he swipes away another boundary on the pull. That's 23 off the over - jubbly!
13th over - WICKET! Malik st Smith b Haq 10, Pkn 81-4 The Pakistan skipper goes! Malik dances down the wicket but his attempted hoik cannot find the ball and Smith whips off the bails with ease. Still, Afridi strides out and here the big hits begin I promise you...
"Dear points of view. I logged on to the live sco-pak commentary and was directed to what appears to be an online version of the Jeremy Kyle Show with various misfits emailing in from all over the country. Tesco's computers for kids campaign really has a hell of a lot to answer for."
Joe, Dundee in the TMS inbox
"Has anyone considered that all the Sarah's may in fact be some secret organisation trying to take over the world, by brainwashing us through the media platform that is the BBC online commentary. Much like Pinky and the Brain. Nope only me then!"
Rob from Gloucester in the TMS inbox
12th over - Pkn 81-3 BRUTALISED! Younis Khan picks up his second six of the innings with a huge hoik off Dewald Nel over the long-on boundary... dropped in the crowd though, shame. Another swipe brings him another single and it's a dot to finish.
"Blitz? Blitz?! Back to the drawing board for you my man. If you are going to use words out of context at least make them punchy. The 'z' makes the word too drawn out. Try something with a powerful finish, like HADDOCK!"
Mike Willis in the TMS inbox
"To John (City of London) - no, it would be called an over with lochs of runs..."
Shafique, London in the TMS inbox
11th over - Pkn 72-3 Dougie Brown returns - his first over went for 13 - but the Durban crowd still await the fireworks as Khan and Malik content themselves with ones and twos.
"Slow start from Geoff Lawson's side but credit to Scotland - they've bowled brilliantly."
Ramiz Raja on BBC Radio 5live
10th over - Pkn 67-3 BANG! Younis Khan sweeps over fine leg for another one-bounce four, moments after Wright has a decent lbw shout turned down on the basis of height. At the halfway point now, and Pakistan will certainly have had more runs in mind than this...
9th over - Pkn 59-3 CRUNCH! Malik uses his feet to Haq and splats him for a one-bounce four over midwicket, but Pakistan are keen to pick up the ones and twos wherever possible and they eke out nine doing just that. Where the blazes is Shahid Afridi?
"Even if Pranav's Facebook group does gain more numbers than yours (not that it will I'm sure), you can still boast that you're the only man in the chair to have two TMS Calendars in your honour!!"
Hayley, Surrey in the TMS inbox
"I'm convinced that Dr Love isn't you at all, but is in fact a consortium of all the Sarah's who write in regularly, and (may I add) unerringly get published. If you're Dr. Love then I was the dude who taught Shakespeare English Literature. (Precocious tyke he was... though I never took fancy to his style of writing. It was too ostentatious for my tastes, what with all the "thee" and "thou"!)."
HNS in the TMS inbox
8th over - WICKET! Hafeez c and b Wright 18, Pkn 50-3 Craig Wright will have a go and - BLATHERING BLISTERS! - he strikes fourth ball! Hafeez dollies a return catch that Wright instinctively holds onto at the second attempt and Pakistan are three down... Shoaib Malik sees out the over without scoring.
"Sam, ask Nadia if she's fit will yer. If she is, she's pulled. If she isn't, but can watch cricket, golf, horse racing and rugby all day, she's still pulled. Over to you, Nadia..."
Marc W, Aberdeen in the TMS inbox
7th over - Pkn 47-2 SPLAT! Hoorah - the first six of the innings as Younis Khan smashes Majid Haq back over his head for a maximum but it's only a few singles otherwise.
"Brilliant from TMS 'here come the dancers again in their tight red vests - and that's just the men...'"
Gareth, loving the tight bowling in Edinburgh in the TMS inbox
6th over - Pkn 38-2 Dougie Brown comes on for a bowl, but Hafeez at least looks in the mood to open his shoulders and he hooks the second ball away for four. He then paddle-sweeps around the corner for four off the last and that's 14 from the over - much more like it.
"You've been sitting on my email and used my bish, bash, bosh, you (expletive deleted)!!!"
Sarah, Canterbury in the TMS inbox
5th over - WICKET! Butt c Poonia b Blain 13, Pkn 24-2 The email to which Sarah refers is one to point out the newly-formed and thoroughly deserved Pranav Soneji appreciation society on Facebook... but if it collects more numbers than mine I'm closing it out of spite. DOINK! Salman Butt spins and clips for four down the leg side for a much needed boundary, and then BLITZ! Mohammad Hafeez gets in on the act with a hook for four... but Butt's gone two balls later! He attempts to clip one down to leg but can only find Poonia at leg slip and Pakistan are two down.
"If Scotland score a lot of runs in an over is it called a McFlurry of runs?"
John (City of London) in the TMS inbox
4th over - Pkn 14-1 Hold on, this isn't what we signed up for is it. Still I sit on the Batman phrases as Nel continues to tie up the Pakistan batsmen with his unerring accuracy. Just three singles from the over and it's safe to say the Pakistan effort is faltering...
"On discovering that I can pay to watch nearly all sport on the internet my boyfriend has threatened to break up with me. Do I avoid sport and stay in the relationship, find a new man who understands me via the commentary or just settle for Dirs and have done?"
Nadia in the TMS inbox
Nadia - it's got to be some Dirs loving for you, lordy (the Finnish rock group) knows he needs it.
3rd over - Pkn 11-1 Well well well, just two runs and a wicket from that over and Blain is producing some magic out there (geddit? Blain - magic - geddit?).
"Don't listen to him Marc, Doctor Love doesn't know what he is talking about! If you walk down the aisle dressed up in anything other than what your wife has picked out for you I am sure she will turn and run the other way! By the way Sam what did happen on this date of yours? I hope you didn't turn up dressed as a cricket ball?"
Kate, Southend in the TMS inbox
3rd over - WICKET! Nazir c Hamilton b Blain 4, Pkn 9-1 KERPLUNK! Imran Nazir swipes at a wide one from Blain and can only hole out on the boundary rope where Gavin Hamilton takes the catch - superb start from the Scots. Might this be another upset, the likes of which Ireland enjoyed in the 50-over World Cup??
2nd over - Pkn 9-0: Dewald Nel shares the new ball and it's accurate stuff from Andre's namesake. Butt fences away at the first five and fails to get the sixth away - HOLY GUACAMOLE Batman! Tis a maiden!
"We're going to win! Watch out for half centuries by Watson and Poonia!"
superScotland_fan on 606
"Let's hope Pakistan can re-focus after the loss of Shoaib Akhtar and get on with the task in hand, which is winning this competition."
Ramiz Raja on BBC Radio 5live
1st over - Pkn 9-0: Jon Blain opens the bowling for the Scots and after two wide dots, Salman Butt edges nervously through the slip cordon for the first boundary of the match. Imran Nazir then survives when he top-edges over the keeper's head for four and it's nine from a decent opening over.
1258: The Pakistan openers stride to the crease and we're minutes away from bish, bosh, bash, bang and boom...
"I'm getting married next year. And as every proud Welshman should, it is on St David's Day. I am considering surprising my wife to be by either dressing as a giant leek or daffodil. Is this wise?"
Marc in the TMS inbox
Absolutely Marc! Or better yet a dragon or, no wait - a sheep! You'll have em rolling in the aisles and your missus will consider herself hugely fortunate to be marrying such a wag.
""Batman came up to me and he hit me over the head with a vase and he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand." I'll get my coat."
Scott Hamilton in the TMS inbox
"Crash, Bang, Wallop, Kaboom, Crunch, Bash, Bosh, Doink !! Erm i think i may have made the last one up..."
Ronners, Birmingham in the TMS inbox
1252: And here are the teams...
Pakistan: Salman Butt, Imran Nazir, Mohammad Hafeez, Younis Khan, Shoaib Malik, Shahid Afridi, Misbah-ul-Haq, Kamran Akmal, Mohammad Asif, Umar Gul, Yasir Arafat
Scotland: RR Watson, DF Watts, NS Poonia, GM Hamilton, NFI McCallum, DR Brown, CJO Smith, RM Haq, CM Wright, JAR Blain, JD Nel.
"Not wishing to appear pedantic - but I don't think they're Batman euphemisms, more onomatopoeia..."
Keith, Nott'm in the TMS inbox
"Ummm, Boff, Zapp!, Kerplunk?"
David Youell, Bristol in the TMS inbox
"How about cliches as well. I heard that Chris Gayle threw the kitchen sink at the ball yesterday. Kerboom!"
Sy, Donny in the TMS inbox
1243: Scotland skipper Ryan Watson wins the toss and opts to have a bowl first - no surprises there - and Shoaib Malik admits he'd rather have batted second as well. The Pakistan captain adds that the issues surrounding Shoaib Akhtar's expulsion from the squad have not upset the apple cart and they're ready to do the business... we shall see...
1241: Aaaannddd... of course don't forget to keep sending in your romantic problems and issues. I still refer to myself as Doctor Love on the odd occasion - much to the chagrin of the ladies I must confess - even though in real life I'm pigging useless, as I'm sure my recent date will attest. Not that I'll publish THAT email of course... ahem.
1237: By the way, I hope you've all been looking after Stevo and Pranav in my absence... the pair of 'em are looking a little dishevelled after recent commentaries I must say. That said, young Pranav will be taking the reins again this evening for your bonus text commentary on the Australia-Zimbabwe match... you lucky, lucky devils.
1230: Kerpow! Crunch! Biff! That's right, today I shall be attempting to squeeze in as many Batman euphemisms for hitting things really rather hard as possible. Suggestions are welcome, not least because I've already run out...
Anyway, Scotland will be looking to make the most of Pakistan's pre-tournament turmoil and spring a surprise in Durban. The two teams will be playing on the same wicket that saw Kenya skittled for a mere 73 earlier in the day, so we might just be looking at a short and sharp encounter here. Or should that be short(er) and sharp(er).