NATWEST SERIES, Headingley:
India 324-6 bt England 242-8 by 38 runs D/L method
India secured a 38-run D/L victory over England at Headingley to claw back to 3-2 in the seven-match one-day series.
Openers Sachin Tendulkar and Sourav Ganguly shared 115 inside 20 overs and Yuvraj Singh fired 72 from 57 balls as India amassed 324-6 after being put in.
Matt Prior and Ian Bell shared 90 in reply but three men fell in 13 balls.
Chasing a revised 311 from 45 overs, Paul Collingwood smashed four sixes in a superb unbeaten 91 before rain forced a premature end to the contest.
LATEST ACTION AS IT HAPPENS (ALL TIMES BST)
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1829 BST: And that's it - the match is called off and India win by 38 runs under the Duckworth-Lewis method. Splendid knock from Colly but it's all in vain - England's series lead is now 3-2 with two to play. A million thanks for tuning in and sending in your emails, catch you next time...
1827 BST: The umpires are out on the field, umbrellas in tow. We might have a decision soon, and I can't say it looks great for England's chances...
"Alright Sam I give in - I've tried to get a message on the commentary and failed. My name is Sarah, I'm from York, I'm at my desk in Dubai sweating buckets, and I have a meal of tripe and curlywurly waiting for me at home."
Les Brown in the TMS inbox
40th over - 242-8 Single apiece from Colly and Anderson, and that keeps the bowler on strike. And guess what - the rain returns! India are miles ahead on Duckworth-Lewis - England would've needed to be 280 at this stage - so the hosts will be hoping they can get back on and make a dash of it late in the day. Dum de dum...
39th over - WICKET! Lewis c Dhoni b Agarkar , England 240-8
Yet more ones and twos, but Agarkar makes the breakthrough, inducing a wild swing from Lewis as he looks for the boundary rope, the ball flying straight up into the evening sky and into the grateful hands of Dhoni who appeared to have lost it before catching it on the dive. That's the wicket-keeper's sixth scalp of the innings - a new Indian record. Is that England's chances gone? Come on Colly, you can do it son...
38th over - 235-7 England are struggling to find the boundary again off Powar and it's a case of ones and twos again for the hosts. Not what is needed right now.
"Whenever we copped an unfortunate one in the swingers, our P.E teacher would instruct us to - "Don't rub em, count em!" Ah, happy innocent times."
Jamie, Maidstone in the TMS inbox
37th over - 226-7 Agarkar returns, ears flapping in the wind like Dumbo coming in to land in that rubbish Disney thing, and it's more accurate, probing stuff from the paceman. A muted lbw shout against Colly is turned down on the basis of height and it struck him outside the line - not to mention it caught him right in the colly wobbles and giving him out would've just added insult to injury. He calls the physio on - though I'm not sure for what, what's he going to do? Rub it better? Anyway, he shakes it off - the injury that is - but it's just five from the over.
36th over - 221-7 England need 90 from 54 balls now - not beyond the realms of possibility - after Collingwood and Lewis snatch just five from a tight Powar over.
35th over - 216-7 It is safe to say England's hopes rest firmly on the shoulders of Colly here - and the Durham man bludgeons yet another slog sweep over the boundary for six. Agarkar then gifts Lewis a life when the Gloucestershire man top-edges towards the midwicket boundary, only for Agarkar to shell a simple chance and it rolls away for four.
""But fear not ... Broady's up next!" Sam - shut up!!!"
Mark, Tunbridge Wells in the TMS inbox
34th over - 205-7 Collingwood and Lewis won't be throwing the towel in just yet - no matter how badly we want to get down the pub and sup a cold Guinness - and Lewis latches onto a short one from Powar to slog sweep away for four to make it nine off the over.
33rd over - WICKET! Broad c Karthik b Chawla 1, England 196-7
Piyush Chawla comes on in place of the expensive Sach - and he snares Broad off the last delivery, the big man sending a leading edge to point. Graham Gooch was bigging Broad up for a slot at number seven on TMS earlier... uummm...
"Do they still make Curlywurlys? I was under the impression that they had gone the way of my all-time pick - Potato Puffs. Not that I condone the use of either, you understand."
Mac, Bristol in the TMS inbox
32nd over - WICKET! Bopara c and b Powar 11, England 193-6
Well that came out of nowhere - Bopara sends a leading edge back to Powar and the young man has to depart. Another promising little stand comes to an end, but fear not - Broady's up next!
"Is the Kenny G in the TMS inbox, the musical Kenny G that produced the Breathless album? If so, it's no surprise that he's studied torture."
Alex, Englefield Green in the TMS inbox
31st over - 188-5 Dravid persists with Tendulkar and Collingwood licks his lips, rotates his shoulders, and decides enough is enough from the little master. He pulls the first ball away for four to bring up his 16th ODI half-century, before slog-sweeping the second for a massive six - biggest of the day that. Spilled in the crowd again, though. That said, the first six was worn in the face by a rather portly gentleman by the look of things so I'm not sure blame can be attached there. You know what, England might just think they can do this... they need 123 from 84 balls - do-able??
"Am I the only one to wonder why the 2020 World cup is being held 13 years early?"
John D in the TMS inbox
30th over - 175-5 No such risks off Powar's over, but Colly and Bopara run well between the wickets and they pinch seven runs without alarm.
"We look to be in trouble now. Can we deploy sweeties to our advantage as the batting side? One well-paced Curlywurly could change the game."
Gordon, Taunton in the TMS inbox
29th over - 168-5 First six of the innings! Collingwood goes down on one knee and slog-sweeps Tendulkar over the midwicket boundary for a mighty hit. And he does the same next ball - even bigger this time and that's 14 from the over. I think the injection has been made...
"RE Chinese Water torture - have you ever tried it - I found it quite relaxing. It's also not really Chinese and was in fact invented by Hippolytus de Marsiliis in Italy in the 16th century."
Kenny G in the TMS inbox
28th over - 154-5 Hoorah! Bopara takes a couple of steps and swipes Powar down the ground for four - about blooming time England! A couple of singles later and it's six from the over - not nearly enough at this stage.
27th over - 148-5 Tendulkar continues and just three singles come off the over. The asking rate is now over nine an over - I don't see why England feel the need to string this out, the sooner they collapse, the sooner we can all get down the boozer for a few Sunday night looseners. That said, I'm back in at six tomorrow morning - that's just cruel.
"I sung on Songs of Praise once with my school. I was told to mime because I was drowning out the good singers."
Jamie in the TMS inbox
26th over - WICKET! Shah c Dhoni b Powar 15, England 145-4
Ramesh Powar comes on and makes the breakthrough immediately. Shah and Colly continue to nudge and nurdle until the former tries one late cut too many and edges behind, where Dhoni takes another smart catch. The Middlesex man made 15 off 36 balls - hardly explosive stuff. Ravi Bopara strides out - he's a brave lad - and survives the last delivery.
25th over - 141-4 Another over, another couple of singles. Do these people know they're competing with Songs of Praise for Pete's sake? Dum de dum...
24th over - 139-4 More accuracy from Ganguly and it's just two runs from the over. This is a little like Chinese water torture at the moment.
"This is Nachiket Kakatkar from Pune, India. It seems that Ganguly has transformed himself into 'Can-do-ly' ..!!! Enjoy..!!!"
Nachiket in the TMS inbox
This is the kind of gubbins I'm being forced to publish folks, pull your fingers out...!
23rd over - 137-4 Sachin Tendulkar comes on to have a bowl - is there anything this bloke can't do on a cricket field? He'll be bowling seam up this afternoon, as opposed to his usual off spin. And still the boundaries refuse to come for England - four singles off that over, and you have to wonder when - if - the hosts will make their charge.
22nd over - 133-4 This is a good little spell with the ball from Ganguly, who keeps Colly and Shah to four from the over - four runs short of what they need at this stage. You people have stopped emailing me your witticisms and it just will not do...
21st over - 129-4 Crunching stroke from Paul Collingwood, the Durham all-rounder punching a half volley through the covers off Chawla, before Shah guides one away for three and that's eight from the over. I'm not the biggest fan of Chawla to be honest. Not because of his cricketing ability or anything, merely because he gets through his overs far too quickly for me to have any semblance of idea what's happening.
20th over - 121-4 Another tight over from Ganguly and just two come from it. And we now have a match people. Some of you are asking why England's target has been reduced by just 14 with five overs taken off - I'm afraid the vagaries of Duckworth-Lewis have confused greater men than I so your guess is as good as mine.
19th over - 119-4 Shah and Collingwood are reluctant to open their shoulders just yet, despite the asking rate now pushing 7.5 an over. Ones and twos are the order of the day off Chawla, at least until Collingwood latches onto a wide one and thumps it through the covers for four.
18th over - 112-4 Ganguly concedes six from his over in ones and twos, though it should've been seven - Collingwood was short on one of his runs and eagle-eyed Aleem Dar was having none of it.
17th over - 106-4 Piyush Chawla's over goes for just two runs and it's looking gloomy for England, though word is that Ravi Bopara is determined to bat if needed later, despite his thumb being fractured. That's the spirit boy!
1637 BST: The players are back out and we'll be underway in seconds...
1635 BST: For the handful of you experiencing problems with the site at the moment - scorecard out of date, my commentary going backwards - unfortunately it's a case of wait and see at the moment. Our techies are hard at work, so hopefully it will right itself soon enough. If you're missing anything, rest assured I am being unbelievably witty and informative about all things cricket. Honest.
"Dear Stuart in Bath - stop making feeble wisecracks at Sam's - er Bob's - expense, and start perusing the papers/net for the faintest sniff of a job opp."
Matt, Salzburg in the TMS inbox
1628 BST: Word on TMS is that England's target has been revised to 311 off 45 overs - piece of cake, no?!
"I don't understand why meeting online is considered embarrassing. Surely it's more respectable than meeting through drunken eying up in a club? It shows you care more about who the person is than what they look like. Of course, it becomes more impressive if it's the result of one party's internet fame as, say, a live text sports commentator, though probably not for the non famous one as it makes them appear to be a groupie of some form."
Richard, Nottingham in the TMS inbox
1622 BST: Good news for the Indian supporters, the covers are coming off. England will need an innings and a half from a couple of players here to stand any chance... Oh, and David H - no she's not a Canterbury lass. So my friend says anyway.
""Bob". Why so modest? We know you met saving Maureen from a gang of ruffians. There were six of them I heard... some of them using very colourful language..."
Kevin S in the TMS inbox
""Maureen" and "Bob" sound like they probably met at a "Salsa for the over-fifties" class, but I suspect that wasn't what you were looking for. Perhaps they met base-jumping in Kuala Lumpur?"
Adam, Wirral in the TMS inbox
"Say that you met her at the GUM clinic. Anything's better than meeting online."
Stuart, Bath in the TMS inbox
"Dear Sam, I mean Bob, this Maureen girl wouldn't happen to be from Canterbury would she?"
David H in the TMS inbox
"Sam, my advice to you, erm, I mean your friend, would be to say you met in the airport lounge in Paris. Implies sophistication, class, and a much more interesting life than hours spent trawling 'getadate.com'."
Roger, Newcastle in the TMS inbox
1611 BST: Thanks to all those who pointed out I had Pietersen out, bowled Pietersen. He's good, but not that good. Out at Headingley, the covers are still on, the rain is still falling and the England camp are still praying...
"As someone who considers themselves a bit of a philosopher, I am definitely unsure of whether I understand Paul's argument. I choose to strongly disagree regardless."
Gareth in the TMS inbox
1603 BST: So, just a reminder, India need to get through 3.3 more overs to bring Duckworth-Lewis into effect, otherwise England escape. It's not looking too clever, but it would be optimism beyond the realms of reason to expect it to continue to shell it down for the rest of the day. Even so, as we wait, you can all help, erm, 'a friend' out. This fella - let's call him Bob - met this chickadee - let's call her Maureen - 'online', but both need a far more entertaining/less sad version of how they met to tell other people. Your suggestions please...
17th over - 105-4 RAIN STOPS PLAY
Hello... are England going to be saved by the rain? The clouds come over again and the umpires call a halt to proceedings with a waft of the arm as the covers race on... As it stands, this is not yet a match as England have not batted for 20 overs.
16th over - WICKET! Bell c Dhoni b Ganguly 44, England 104-4
This could all be over soon - England's man of the moment Ian Bell walks after clipping a big edge behind off Ganguly. Smart catch from Dhoni and the hosts are staring down the barrel here.
WICKET! Pietersen c Dhoni b Zaheer 0, England 102-3
Disaster for England! Two balls after Ian Bell creams a beauty down the ground, Pietersen has to take the long walk back to the hutch, edging a jaffa from Zaheer behind. Dirsy will be cursing his self-professed deity while kicking back in his Winnebago as we speak... By the way, if anyone can understand the gubbins sent in by Paul below, you're a greater man/woman than I.
"To answer your question coherently we need first to establish an appropriate ontological and epistemological position. It would help if you gave us a brief resume on how you set your PhD in terms of these, and we will then be able to move on - for example, to what extent you see your mum and dad as social constructions of a reality, or whether they simply exist and disapprove of your beer consumption independent of your awareness of them. If the standpoints on your PhD and your mum and dad differ to the point of incoherence, you will fail your PhD viva, and your problem will be in any case solved as you'll have to remain in the bath."
Paul, Lancs in the TMS inbox
14th over - WICKET! Prior st Dhoni b Ganguly 46, England 97-2
Prior smashes a beauty through the covers for four - thanks in part to a misfield - and he then survives a decent lbw shout from Ganguly. The ball was going over the top - good decision from Nigel Llong. He can't make the most of his reprieve though as he goes walkabout next ball, leaving Dhoni an easy stumping and the Sussex man fails to make the most of a start again... Kevin Pietersen sees out the over.
"RE Stuart in Bath's dilemma. Sorry to be brusque, but with a PhD couldn't you, like, get a job?"
Dan B in the TMS inbox
13th over - 91-1 Another spot of luck for Bell, a genuine edge flying between keeper and first slip and away for four. He rubs salt into the wound two deliveries later, creaming a glorious drive through the covers. Zaheer's not happy and he shows it by kicking the ball away at the end of the over and gifting Bell another run - jubbly. More advice needed at BBC Towers - our intrepid cricket reporter JL has done his back in 'picking up a big thing of electrical stuff' or something. Anyone got a Homer-Simpson-bent-over-a-dustbin type solution?
12th over - 77-1 Good over from Ganguly - just four singles off it and Bell and Prior are becalmed for the mo.
"Dear cricketing chums - I need your advice. Having nearly completed my PhD I will soon be moving back to Scotland, there to throw myself upon the mercy of my parents until I can start a proper job. Needless to say, it's been a while. Has anybody got any tips for surviving? I like the idea of free food and Sky TV but I don't think dear old mum and dad will appreciate some of my more drunken antics. Any advice would be welcome."
Stuart, Bath in the TMS inbox
11th over - 73-1 Dravid does indeed take the second powerplay - how dearly that cost England in India's innings - and Bell and Prior take a few singles as well as the usual extras gifted them by the Indian's slackness in the field. England are ahead of the rate now, so Dravid gives Ganguly the wave to come on and throw down a few wobblies...
"The TV in my house has been taken over. Having just been subjected to Arsenal vs Pompey, Villa vs Chelsea is on next. What can I do to convince that the cricket is more important?"
Sarah, Bucks in the TMS inbox
10th over - 65-1 Trademark boundary from Prior, who is looking the part now after his early scare, cutting it away for four and he and Bell pick up the ones and twos for the rest of the over. That's the 50 partnership and the question now is whether Rahul Dravid will take the second powerplay now.
"I'm predicting a Matt Prior century off 85 balls to put England in the box seat...... OK, maybe some more medication is required on my behalf!"
Chris, ever the optimist, in the TMS inbox
9th over - 55-1 Belly really is in tremendous touch at the moment, and he's taking it out on the Indian bowlers. Zaheer can only curse in disbelief as Bell pulls a length ball from outside off through midwicket for another boundary and, another few singles later, Prior spanks one square of the wicket for a couple to end the over. Decent little stand, this, but one or both need to go on.
8th over - 45-1 Mwahaha...the old reverse psychology on Belly has worked (he reads this on his WAP service between overs you know). The form man opens his shoulders with a textbook drive through the covers, then pulls away for four before bringing up a third straight boundary with a step-and-drive down the ground. Bootiful stuff.
"With this RWC trip, I predict a surge in Fordyce support. Dirsy is branding him 'Tommy' to make him more loveable, giving him a push, much like Eminem gave 50 Cent a step up."
Ade O'Connor, G-Unit enthusiast. Not really, in the TMS inbox
7th over - 30-1 Ian Bell restores a sense of decorum, none of this hitting-it-for-fours malarkey no, just your usual nudge and nurdle for singles. Hhmm. Two and a no-ball from a tight Zaheer over.
6th over - 27-1 Prior decides he's had enough of a look and carves Agarkar through square for four before top-edging a no-ball safe for three. A couple of singes follow before the wicket-keeper batsman smashes another boundary - 15 off the over and that's much more like it for England.
5th over - 12-1 This is terrific stuff from India's bowlers, Zaheer this time getting the ball to zip through with a touch of swing and seam and twice he beats the bat. Just one off the over - though India were only 7-0 at this stage, so anything is possible. Stay positive people!
"Hey Sam, just seen that there's a 'Ben Dirs appreciation society' on Facebook. It has 1225 members! Do that many people really appreciate him? Do all you button tappers now have fansites?"
Joel, Notts in the TMS inbox
We do Joel, though our numbers pale into insignificance compared to the big guy...
4th over - 11-1 Ber-limey! Ganguly it is this time who shells an easy chance - Bell edging an attempted cut high to second slip, but Sourav can only parry it away. Matt Prior then plays and misses at an Agarkar jaffa, though he ends the over with a fine clip off his legs for three.
4th over - WICKET! Cook c Dhoni b Agarkar 4, England 7-1
It didn't take long - Cook goes attempting the drive and edging a simple chance behind.
3rd over - 7-0 Dropped! England might need a few more slices of luck like that - Prior attempting to clip to the leg side and succeeding only in edging to first slip - only for Sachin Tendulkar to shell a relatively easy chance. The ball swung late on him, but he should've pouched that. Four singles off the over and I must admit, I'm struggling to contain my excitement. I really am.
2nd over - 3-0 Two more singles. Explosive stuff. It's overcast out there and there's still a bit of wet about, with the TMS stat boys pointing out England would need to be 99-0 after 20 overs to win on Duckworth-Lewis. We can only hope we get the weather Rahul Dravid is expecting, the India skipper is decked out in short sleeves and sunglasses - the king of cool.
1st over - 1-0 Just the brisk sort of start England needed that - not. A single off the first over, Alastair Cook nudging to point, and the asking rate is 6.6 an over. Ahem.
50th over - 324-6 Two byes off the penultimate delivery before Zaheer slices the last ball of the innings away for four. That ensures a target of 325 and England will be thinking back to when they failed - miserably - to defend 321 against Sri Lanka. Can they repeat such heroics? I don't think so either.
50th over - WICKET! Dravid run out 24, India 318-6
Broad takes the last over and, in his attempt to pinch a single, Dravid is run out by Prior's direct hit third ball. Excellent cameo from the skipper, though, and Zaheer Khan is pushed up the order with quick runs in mind...
49th over - 316-5 No respite for England, Dravid ending the over with yet another bludgeon through the off side for four. It's all getting very, very miserable for the hosts.
49th over - WICKET! Dhoni c Prior b Anderson 24, India 311-5
Dhoni swipes a leg-side delivery away for four but Anderson keeps it tight before getting his reward, the batsman trying to carve a wide one away and succeeding only in edging behind, where Prior takes a fine high catch on the dive.
48th over - 305-4 Broad takes the first over after the break and Rahul Dravid shows his intentions from the off - thick-edging a swipe down to third man for four first ball and then cutting majestically backward of square for another boundary. He saves the best for the fourth delivery, though, punching it brilliantly over the covers for a flat six to bring up the 300 with two overs still remaining. A single follows and Mahendra Dhoni makes the most of the last delivery, smashing Broad back down the ground for four - 19 off the over.
1409 BST: The Indian players emerge from the changing rooms and we'll be resuming shortly... and I haven't even finished my sandwich - how very selfish.
1345 BST: News is that they will take lunch for half an hour, and India will complete their innings after the break. The rain is already easing so we should get back out there later. I'm off to grab some nosebag - I've just realised I've not eaten yet today, that can't be healthy...
"On the bright side, the early start means there could be plenty of time to catch Ana Ivanovic and Venus Williams in the US Open later, projected for an 2000 BST start. We'll keep the buckets of cold water on standby."
Marc, London in the TMS inbox
47th over - 286-4 Dhoni gets in on the act with a twisting pull for four and nine come off the over. England's blushes are spared somewhat at the end of the over, though, as the covers are called on as the rain gets a touch heavier.
46th over - 277-4 Lewis's woes with the ball continue as he gifts India five runs with a wild leg-side wide and, rather pointedly, there's a shot of Dimi Mascarenhas looking rather sulky outside the ropes on the outfield. Why didn't he start, someone tell me? A few of you have pointed out the commentary is going backwards on some of your screens. I have notified the techies (who I'm sure will turn it off and on again) but can otherwise only advise you clear your cache. Or something like that. Or tune into TMS where you can listen to proper commentators doing proper commentary.
45th over - 268-4 Collingwood sees out the over well, and his 10 overs cost just 48 - excellent work from the skipper.
45th over - WICKET! Yuvraj c Anderson b Collingwood, India 266-4
Massive wicket for England - Yuvraj goes, caught on the boundary by James Anderson after his pulls shot swings up into the heavens but not far enough to clear the rope. The left-hander struck 72 off just 58 balls - wonderful knock. By the way, more news coming through on Bopara - the boy apparently has a suspected fracture dislocation of his thumb. Which would almost certainly rule him out of the Twenty20 Cup - not good news, not good at all.
44th over - 262-3 Jonathan Lewis returns - that'll strike fear into Yuvraj's heart I'm sure. Except it doesn't, because the left-hander takes a step, opens his stance and top-edges one over midwicket for a big ol' six. Nine off the over and Dhoni's not even got going yet - oh dear.
"I sometimes call my non wife/partner 'woman' in a Sean Bean voice. I think she rather likes it, in a sort of Lady Chatterley's Lover kind of a way."
Oliver, Portugal in the TMS inbox
43rd over - 253-2 Prior puts down yet another thin edge off Collingwood, Mahendra Dhoni the man to benefit this time. Just one off a decent over, though, as news filters through that Bopara has been ferried off to hospital for an X-ray on his hand. It just gets better and better for the hosts.
42nd over - 252-3 And as if to compound the point, Yuvraj ends the over with a nudge off his hips for four before sweeping the next for another boundary. That's 14 and a wicket off the over.
42nd over - WICKET! Gambhir c sub b Broad 51, India 244-3
42nd over - Gambhir takes Yuvraj's lead and goes on the offensive, slashing one over point for four. But he's gone fourth ball! The number three attempts a running sweep (if such a thing exists) but top-edges it straight to the midwicket boundary where substitute fielder Andrew Gale - a cross between Ian Bell and Paul Collingwood in appearance, perish the though - takes the catch above his head. Just in case England get the idea that might halt the runs, though, Mahendra Dhoni strides to the crease. Ouch.
"350? I don't think you've cursed them; I think you've just given them an idea."
Alex, Englefield Green in the TMS inbox
"And that's Sam's 3rd - yes 3rd - time he's used the tricky - yes - technique in only 25 overs! This man's on a roll!"
James, Chelmsford in the TMS inbox
41st over - 238-2 And so the assault begins - Yuvraj bringing up his 30th - yes 30th - ODI fifty with a huge clatter on the slog sweep for six before repeating the stroke in front of square for four next ball. Monty is being found out a touch here I fear, while India's batsmen have been given the nod to swing away. This could get messy for the hosts.
40th over - 226-2 Stuart Broad returns but India are on a roll here and the singles are all too readily available. Yuvraj and Gambhir rotate the strike nicely and six singles come off the over. India are looking positively indominatable at the moment, and I can't see them getting much less than 350 from here. That one's for Sarah, Bucks.
"Sam, after browsing the Facebook TMS Calendar, I have to say you have saved the best til last, any chance of sorting something for me with the beautiful Miss December?"
Richard, Hampshire in the TMS inbox
39th over - 221-2 Yuvraj is starting to give it some rather serious tap here, splattering a glorious drive through the covers for four in between some crafty nudges and nurdles and it's seven off Monty's over.
38th over - 214-2 Well you can't say India's innings has been chanceless - Bopara puts down a tough but takeable return catch off Gambhir, splitting his finger in the process, forcing him off the field to apply a much-needed Disney plaster, bless 'im. Kevin Pietersen finishes his over - sending the first ball for a huge leg-side wide, the second punched away for four through midwicket, and more extras and runs come off the rest. Not great from Nuts that.
37th over - 206-2 Yuvraj punches Monty through square for four but a smart piece of work from Prior behind the stumps causes him some concern fifth ball, the keeper whipping off the stumps with Yuvraj struggling to get his foot back behind the line. TV replays show he got just enough back, though, and the big man is safe.
"On the other hand , in the incredibly unlikely situation that you are in fact trying to lose the attention of the woman speaking to you (e.g. during a conversation with a half cut hefalump), I find talking her through the intricacies of an extra cover drive does the trick..."
Jimmy, Swansea in the TMS inbox
36th over - 200-2 Ravi Bopara is given a rare opportunity with the ball but his first ball is edged away fine for four. Three singles follow and it's all too easy for India at the moment.
"You're normally great at the commentator's curse - can you please put the mockers on India?"
Sarah, Bucks in the TMS inbox
35th over - 193-2 Gautam Gambhir brings up his fourth four with a dance down the wicket and kerpow over the covers before he and Yuvraj pinch the singles that make it another expensive over. England will do well to keep the tourists to under 300 here.
34th over - 185-2 Collingwood continues and five come off the over, two from a Jonathan Lewis misfield where, I don't know, his hair got in the way or something. For your information, young Ruthie P below is referring to me. I of course called her 'woman' as, erm, a joke in the hope my cutting wit and inner charm would bowl her over. It didn't. I mean, how was I supposed to know that mildly chauvinistic banter wasn't the way to a girl's heart?
"I once met someone... they started calling me "woman"... that one was over before it started..."
Ruth P in the TMS inbox
33rd over - 180-2 Gambhir takes a few off Monty, cutting past point for a couple off successive deliveries before guiding one through square for four and that's 11 off the over. So much for the turgid middle overs huh?
32nd over - 169-2 Ladies and gentlemen - the curse of the middle overs has struck. Four singles from a tame Colly over and India look content to bide their time before a late-over assault.
"Mr Lyon, how did you get a job reporting on sport when you actually think it's clever to call Saurav Ganguly 'Gin'? Were the BBC really that desperate Sam'antha'?"
Rick Ghosh in the TMS inbox
31st over - 165-2 Massive escape for Yuvraj, the left hander sending a big edge behind to Matt Prior only for umpire Nigel Llong to wave away the appeals. Yuvraj has almost knocked the cover off his bat but Llong is having none of it. Just one from the over.
"So, Mark from Rochdale, using your theory ? if a woman is talking enthusiastically about football, cricket or rugby then she has switched off? Hmmmmm. I think you ought to actually meet some ladies and stop quoting stereotyped sentences from magazines!"
Rachel, Lincoln in the TMS inbox
30th over - 164-2 Dropped! A leading edge from Gambhir off Collingwood loops to Kevin Pietersen at short extra cover, but the big man can't hold on to a low catch. Yuvraj then rubs salt into the wound with a beautiful push through the covers for four before bringing up his 5,000th one-day international run with a nudge for one. These Indians have a hell of a lot of runs between them don't they?
29th over - 158-2 Frugal enough over from the Montster, just three coming off it. Is anyone impressed that as well as talking rubbish all day on here, I'm also spouting rubbish over MSN AND Facebook at the moment? I am THAT good...
28th over - 155-2 Rahul Dravid has held himself back in the dressing room, preferring instead to push Yuvraj Singh up the order and the talented left-hander gets off the mark with a glance off his hips for four. Five off Broady's over.
"I once got asked out at the start of a lesson at school, said yes, and then was chucked at the end of it. The lessons were 35 minutes long so I can't say I've beaten Tristan's record. I think that's where my problems with women started..."
Simon R in the TMS inbox
27th over - WICKET! Ganguly c Cook b Panesar 59, India 150-2
Hoorah! Monty is on and the crazy dancer pulls off some dreamy moves as he tempts Ganguly into one swipe too many and Alastair Cook takes the catch on the midwicket boundary. Gin goes for 59 off 79 balls and how England needed that...
"It's all very well to be proud of a 30 minute relationship, but what did it actually entail? I have just had a 2 minute relationship with a supermarket checkout cashier, which was very short but not very exciting."
Timothy H in the TMS inbox
26th over - 148-1 A tidy over from Stuey Broad is ruined last ball, Gambhir cutting one away fine for four as the Sky cameras become momentarily obsessed with a young lady putting out her washing with Gower rather concerned that the threat of rain might ruin any chance of her denim wash getting dry. It really is all happening in Yorkshire this morning.
"Simon, you can tell a woman is not interested in talking to you if you follow this simple guide: If you are not talking about any of the following: "Her, her friends, her work colleagues, the X factor, babies, weddings, E list celebrities, curtains or cushions" - then you can be sure she has switched off."
Mark, Rochdale in the TMS inbox
25th over - 144-1 Gambhir brings up his first boundary with a slash backward of point and he then takes a couple of steps and powers one over the infield for another next ball. It brings a bit of verbal from Jimmy Anderson, who doesn't take kindly to being carted away with such ease. Which would make you think he would stop bowling four balls really wouldn't it? But he doesn't. India are, almost quite literally, cruising.
"I was just wondering what people's records for the shortest relationship are. I had a 30 minute one the other day, of course im very proud of this achievement."
Tristan in the TMS inbox
24th over - 133-1 The two-over lull is ended by Gin Ganguly who gets his leg out of the way first ball and smashes Lewis high and long on the pull. Just (just!) that six from the over.
"Simon in London. Who is doing the talking? Your lips are moving, her's aren't? She is already bored..."
Kevin, in sunny Portsmouth still in my dressing gown, in the TMS inbox
23rd over - 127-1 Thankfully for England, it's all a bit becalmed at the moment. Anderson's over yields just the single as Gambhir gets his eye in. The odds of India matching PNG's effort of this week are reducing...slightly.
"360 runs is ouch?... Papua New Guinea made a mere 572/7 off their 50 overs this week in a match against New Caledonia!"
Tommie, Amsterdam in the TMS inbox
22nd over - 126-1 Ganguly brings up his 70th - yes 70th - ODI fifty with a nudge for one on the off side but that's just two off Lewis's over. I'm not sure if Dirsy coined the phrase - but I tried 'smirting' (the act of flirting while on a cigarette 'break' in a boozer) for the first time last night. It really is a killer move. Or at least it would be if I smoked. Just standing there awkwardly gawping at lovely ladies as they tab away apparently doesn't quite do the trick. Just so you know.
"Any tips on how to tell whether a women is bored with talking with you? I never seem to be able to tell..."
Simon, London in the TMS inbox
21st over - 124-1 Last over of the powerplay and Ganguly continues to swing freely - inside-edging one just past his own stumps for four and then creaming another through the covers. Still, the tourists keep England interested in the field with Gambhir fortunate to survive another run-out attempt when Anderson's shy misses. Powerplays done and India are going at all but six an over.
20th over - WICKET! Tendulkar c Prior b Lewis 71, India 116-1
BOSH! Johnny Lewis, in the most innocuous spell of bowling you're ever likely to see, snares the prize wicket of Tendulkar. The form man brutalised his way to 71 off just 59 balls before edging a 75mph-er behind and Aleem Dar had no hesitation in raising the index. Gautam Gambhir strides out with the platform of all platforms to get a knock...
19th over - 115-0 Kerpow! Ganguly creams Collingwood for a mighty six over long on before Sachin takes up the baton and batters one for four straight down the ground. If India's openers continue like this, you have to fear for their near-apoplectic supporters in the crowd - it is fair to say they are absolutely loving this. And why not.
"Am also in Dubai, am not in a suit and am enjoying England getting creamed. Where is Panesar? Wanna see Ganguly hit him out of the park."
Alex in the TMS inbox
18th over - 104-0 Jon Lewis returns and Sach continues on his merry way, bludgeoning yet another boundary over midwicket from an over that yields seven. It begs the question - why take the powerplay now? Eight an over from here takes India up to 360... ouch.
17th over - 97-0 And THAT ladies and gentlemen, is why I'm not an international cricket captain. Or maybe I should be. The third and final powerplay is indeed taken and Sachin licks his lips before pinching another couple of fours off Collingwood, one with a jubbly lap sweep, the second a more orthodox sweep. Isn't it great that people from all corners of the world are reading this right now? Emails from all over the gaff are landing in our inbox - lovely stuff.
"Having seen Rick in Dubai's email, I too am in Dubai wearing a suit today, and have to go to a meeting at 4pm local time (1pm UK). This is a double travesty ? not only do I miss the cricket, but also the Arsenal game which is on at 4.30pm?"
Ian, at his desk, Dubai in the TMS inbox
"Rick, I am also working on a Sunday sweating like something that sweats a lot in the affectionately named "triangle of fire" on the edge of the Sahara desert. And reading about Lewis' start doesn't make it any more comfortable."
Chris, Salah, in the TMS inbox
16th over - 88-0 Tendulkar brings up his 82nd - yes 82nd - one-day international fifty with a pull over midwicket off Broad before timing one beautifully down the ground for another to send the passionate Indian supporters into convulsions in the Headingley crowd. I don't suppose the last powerplay will be taken just now, what with England being torn a new one out there...
15th over - 78-0 England just can't stop the boundaries at the moment, with Tendulkar punching one through the covers for four to mar an otherwise tight over from Colly. Still, Ganguly keeps England interested with a dodgy attempt at a single that would've seen him a goner had Anderson's chuck rattled the timbers. Nonetheless, this is all looking rather dodgy for the hosts at the moment.
14th over - 74-0 I think it is fair to say Tendulkar is in rather an aggressive mood this morn'... He takes an ugly swipe at a Broad bouncer that floats agonisingly over Monty Panesar's head - the crowd favourite could've stuck a dive in, but let's be honest it would only have ended in misery and or injury - and then repeats the stroke next delivery with the ball flying high and safe for two. Seven runs come off the over before you know it. Bit of rain in the air now, I may need your emails rather than the creeeeket to keep me entertained at some point or another today....
"Alright Sam, I too was bamboozled by the early start and have just had to do a spot of power reading to catch up. Broad not opening = disgrace, etc. We're all at work here in Dubai on a Sunday and it's silly hot to be wearing a suit. Who else is reading the updates whilst being paid to sweat I wonder."
Rick, Dubai in the TMS inbox
13th over - 67-0 Collingwood continues and the little man (little? maybe medium sized...) is actually causing India's openers a few concerns. A big appeal for lbw against Sachin goes unrewarded as the Magician got rather a lot of wood on it, and Prior then holds a smart catch behind the stumps but it came off Ganguly's thigh. Just three from the over.
"Sam, lest Jamie hog the limelight, forget not the Men's TMS calendar on Facebook! I mention this as we have a full complement of 12 fine men and true that your female readers may wish to feast their eyes on, should they have a spare moment..."
Sarah, Canterbury (aka Miss December) in the TMS inbox
12th over - 64-0 One tight over from Colly and he takes the powerplay. But once again Broad ruins a tight over with a wayward one on Ganguly's hips and the opener swings it away for a fine glance for four. By the way, how cool is it to sign off your emails with the tag 'singer and songwriter'? I might pick that up actually, leaving a signature of 'President' or 'Artist, Author and Aristocrat' or something.
"Well so much for Mark in Gloucestershire's comment about "the best English one day bowler" and "10 tidy overs"! More like a case of "now we see why Lewis hasn't been picked before!"
Susan Raven, singer and songwriter, in the TMS inbox
11th over - 58-0 "Bowling Weed" is the cry from behind the stumps - Prior's 'affectionate' nickname for the ginger ninja skipper (apparently some sort of Jamaican 'wonder' tobacco) - but it aint 'well held Matty' as the keeper drops a thick edge off Tendulkar. It was a tough one, admittedly, but it's just what the under-fire Sussex man didn't need.
10th over - 57-0 All hail Broady! Well, for four balls anyway, the youngster keeping the Sach in check with good line and length until the Little Magician carves a wonderful stroke backward of square for four and this is turning into a rather expensive start. So what you want is someone to stick their hands up and turn it around and that man is... Paul Collingwood. The skipper will take the next over with the ball barely 60 deliveries old. Ahem. That said, England have refused the powerplay...
"Surely Broad should have been opening the bowling with Anderson, given his performance the other day ? Shocking kick in the smalls for him I think."
Steve P in the TMS inbox
9th over - 50-0 As the man to my right quite rightly points out, Lewis is having a bit of a 'mare. Not only is he leaking runs like a gentleman after a particularly dodgy curry, he's also struggling in the field - this time caught out on the boundary fence as he allows a Ganguly slash to escape his grasp and go for four. It's the veteran's second four of the over, having slashed one through square, and that's the 50 up for India.
8th over - 41-0 Right, as I settle in, it has come to mind that it's been a while since I did all this malarkey. How does Dirsy work it? My backside has barely hit the seat and all ready the gaffer is grilling me about this TMS calendar... Anyway, India's openers continue their assault on Jon 'The Doctor' Lewis and Tendulkar glances another four through fine leg before grabbing a few singles to keep the scoreboard ticking over nicely for the tourists.
"Sam - our Wonderful "Ladies of TMS 2007 - The Calendar" on Facebook is one month short and I am in need of a Miss November! I was wondering if you could use your powers to reach people to hold "X-Factor" style open auditions for this coveted role, and I'll let you be Simon Cowell as well."
Jamie in the TMS inbox
7th over - 33-0 All right, hands up - I didn't know it was 1015 BST start. But come on, who starts a cricket match at 1015?! It's Sunday, people, have a word will ya. And it would appear I've arrived just in time to catch Sourav and Sachin teaching the England boys a thing or two about cutting loose in the powerplay overs. It's Ganguly this over, smashing one four down the ground before pulling another over the infield and it's eight from Anderson's over. Where the Mr Magoo is Stuart 'find of the summer' Broad?
6th over - 25-0 Finally a boundary as Tendulkar eases Lewis away through extra cover. The next one forces Ganguly to take evasive action as it races to the rope at long-on and two square cuts for four follow as 18 come off the over. Looks like India have woken up. That's good news for Mr Lyon, who is now logging on.
5th over - 7-0 Anderson sends down the first wide of the contest and the crowd greets it like they've just witnessed a moment of history. The Headingley bars must have been open early this morning! Meanwhile, the TMS commentary disappears momentarily in my headphones and all I can hear is a woman speaking French - maybe that's for Dirsy and Tom's benefit? Unremarkable over, three added to the total.
4th over - Ind 4-0 Ganguly flashes unconvincingly at a wide one from Lewis but collects one to third man. A sprawling Bell cuts off a Tendulkar drive to keep the him stuck on zero, but misfields next ball and the little master is under way.
3rd over - Ind 1-0 Sarcastic applause rings out round Headingley as Ganguly picks up a single off Anderson's final ball to open India's account.
2nd over - Ind 0-0 A surprise move by Collingwood as Lewis takes the new ball ahead of Broad (no doubt a roar of approval goes up down Bristol way). No sign of nerves as he keeps Tendulkar tied down. Two overs, no runs.
1st over - Ind 0-0 For Jimmy, read Johnny - on the spot, that is. Nothing loose for Ganguly to have a go at and it's a maiden over to start things off.
1010: Ganguly wasn't feeling well on Saturday, but he's recovered enough to make his way out to the middle for his 300th one-dayer - only the 10th player to reach that particular statistical milestone.
"At last the selectors have seen sense and picked the best English opening one-day bowler - Gloucestershire's finest, Jon Lewis. Cue 10 tidy overs and a wicket or two. Good luck Lewey - show them what you can do"
Mark in Gloucestershire in the TMS inbox
1004: "India look like they're going to bowl a lot of spin , which is not normally the way at Headingley. They're having real problems trying to balance their side"
TMS summariser Vic Marks
1000: "The boys are really up for it. We want to continue to play good aggressive cricket" says captain Paul Collingwood, who has proved a fast learner when it comes to talking a good match.
0955: Thanks to those of you who have already sent in e-mails for Sam. He isn't actually here yet, but this isn't Dirsy-style tardiness - I forgot to remind him about the earlier start (Paul, cricket ed).
0945: Finally Colly's luck is in at the toss and despite a depleted attack he chooses to bowl first in overcast conditions - will Jimmy Anderson be king of the swingers for England today?
0930: Jon Lewis will replace Flintoff in the England side - his first one-dayer since January. Chris Tremlett has a sore right foot and isn't fit enough to play.
"Freddie's batting form is not good enough to get in the side so he should be considered for his bowling only and to bat at 8. We should get used to not having him around as his ankle after several operations is not getting any better and unfortunately he will not reach the heights he did a couple of years back again."
Ed the Red in the TMS inbox
0905: Bad news for England fans - big Freddie will miss the game at Headingley. More trouble with his left ankle apparently and that's doubly worrying as the ICC Twenty20 jaunt starts in nine days time.
0730: "Rain is going to be a bit of a nuisance at Headingley - it won't be raining all the time by any means but it will be very frustrating for the umpires and players because it's not going to go away in a hurry."
Weatherman John Kettley, BBC 5live