LIVE TEXT COMMENTARY (all times BST)
1826: STUMPS Ban 172-2
Yai-ai-ai - how did that miss? Jahurul drives weakly and inside-edges past the top of middle stump for the streakiest four of the match so far. Long stretched-out shadows on the outfield, the four from the floodlights leaving a pineapple pattern, and that's stumps - very much Bangladesh's day.
1818: Ban 168-2
Jahurul has a dash against the returning Anderson, aiming to pull over square leg but toe-ending down to mid-on. Maiden, and we'll have time for maybe three more.
1814: Ban 168-2
"Oh Belly!" shouts Swann as a looping tempter draws Siddique forward, but the inside edge drops to the turf rather than clipping pad on its way to short leg.
1806: Ban 168-2
A chap in the stands sporting a fine set of Edward VII whiskers and a Lenin corduroy cap watches on impassively as Swann twirls. Room for Siddique, and he'll put that away to the cover fence - oh, that's delightful, going onto the flamingo leg to whip away another through midwicket for the four that takes him to his half-century. 92 balls and eight fours in it, and Jahurul trots down the track to shake gloves.
From Colin in Harrogate, TMS inbox:
"Double scoop - very Robin Smith. Connoisseurs would always opt for the Powerspot à la DIG."
1801: Ban 156-2
Coats are being pulled on all around as the sun disappears behind the stands. Tight from Brezza; one more to the total. Deficit to 349.
From Mike in Michigan, TMS inbox:
"The reference to the lady with the overflowing double scoop cones, was that a reference to her recent purchase at the snack bar or perhaps a euphemism?"
1756: Ban 155-2
Bresnan returns in place of Finn, and that's a decent maiden - spit, aggression, accuracy. Swann follows suit, and a mere single leaks away.
1749: Ban 154-2
Glimpse there of Tim Rice, deep in conversation with Tony Lewis. Flutes of champagne in the paws of both men. Swann tosses one up wide, and Siddique will cut away with alacrity for four.
1746: Ban 150-2
A trio of singles off Finn. I won't lie - the game's drifting a little. If your weekend starts here, it might be a quiet one. Should you chose to slip away for a loosener, I won't take it personally.
1742: Ban 147-2
Classic Swanny over, this - all sorts of subtle variations in flight and tweak, but pad and bat form an impenetrable barrier.
1739: Ban 146-2
Finn angles one past Siddique's chest and draws the nervy thrust. 14 overs left in the day, although with the cut-off coming at 1830, the clock may come into play before the allotted are up.
From Shaun in Dulwich, TMS inbox:
"Gray Nicholls Double Scoop brings back some memories! I used to play in a under 13' team where all 11 players had a double scoop, must have been a selection policy or something."
1735: Ban 146-2
Yup, Swann it is, the sun peek-a-boing behind a wedge of cloud. Siddique blocks with relentless concentration, and that's a maiden. Still a decent-ish crowd in, the contended chatter mixing with the rumble of the rush-hour traffic edging up St John's road.
1730: Ban 146-2
Finn into his sixth over of this spell, although Swanny's loosening up down there. Steady Eddie Hemmings for the first four, but that's a splendid cover drive unfurled from Jahurul to move to seven.
1723: Ban 142-2
Shadows inching across the pristine turf as Anderson canters in. Edgy again from Siddique, picking up singles off outside and in, but nothing beats the bat and England scratch metaphorical heads as Umpo Bowden calls for drinks.
1719: Ban 138-2
On the money like Adam Smith from Finn, clocking in the middle 80s as Jahurul jabs fitfully. A podgy-faced chap in the crowd grins happily as his female companion arrives back in her seat with two overflowing cones of ice-cream. Hard to be certain from here, but I'd say both chocolate (double-scoop, a la Gray-Nichols circa 1987).
1715: Ban 138-2
Three slips and a gully in for new man Jahurul Islam - ugh, ugly shot, slashing outside off like a man trying to batter a fly with a rolled-up newspaper, but he gets away with it, the ball looping up and away over point for three more.
1710: Ban 134-2
Wicket maiden for Finn, and his first Test wicket on home soil. Big grins, and he's deserved that. 20 overs left in the day - what else can England wriggle out?
1707: WICKET Kayes c Strauss b Finn 43, Ban 134-2
Finn settling into his groove now, metronomic like Guru Gus - short, spitting, gloved...caught!
From Mark in Reigate, TMS inbox:
"Tell you what we could do with here.? A partnership-breaking, wicket-taking first change bowler by the name of Broad. Oh no, he's having a rest."
1704: Ban 134-1
Anderson now, gliding in for his 12th over - three successive bumpers at Siddique, and then the tempter out wide - edged, straight through the gap between third slip and gully for four more. Brief tea-pot from Anderson, and who can blame him.
1659: Ban 130-1
A brace of pigeons saunter towards the stumps, perhaps intent on stealing a bail to take home - what a coup that would be. Apologies. Finn, sweat plastering his fringe across his forehead, angles a succession of leave-alones across the bows of Kayes and then tries a cunning yorker - dug out doughtily.
1655: Ban 130-1
Bresnan looks ready to kick a hole in something hard - he finds the edge of Siddique's bat once again, but the ball flies along the ground past the diving Kay Pee at gully. Deficit down to 375.
1650: Ban 128-1
The drill is familiar - manually refresh to get everything appearing as it should do. Finn from the Pavilion End, and that's nice from Siddique - angling one off the hips for two, and then running the ball shy of gully off the open face for four more. Is that Devon Malcolm over there in the VIP slots? Remember seeing him in a bowl-off at a NatWest match. Came off his full run-up and bowled a bouncer at the unprotected stumps. Bless.
1645: Ban 117-1
Tim Bresnan follows suit and pitches it up - and then watches aghast as it flies off Kayes' bat and to the boundary between mid off and cover faster than you can say "I'll drag my length back, then, thanks". They love a drive, the tourists, but the short stuff just aint working lads so why not try something new, huh? Anyway, on that bombshell - I'll hand you back to the Fordyce. Nice one.
1643: Ban 113-1
Hold the phone! Doth mine eyes deceive me? Steven Finn, ladies and gentleman, has only gone and blooming pitched it up hasn't he. No, seriously. It rips past Siddique's outside edge and the whole of Lord's, as one, arise and cry Hallelujah to the heavens. Under their breaths in true 'English gent' style, though, of course. Finn has Siddique in trouble again next ball as an outside edge flies over gully but that's a much better length from the Finnster.
1637: Ban 108-1
More punishment for Tim Bresnan as Imrul Kayes pulls him for three through midwicket before Junaid Siddique grabs his second boundary with a delicious square drive. Seven from the over and Bangladesh trail, now, by 397 runs.
From Patrick D in the TMS inbox:
"Re: Andy Dutton - Koala's are famously vicious, but I reckon even a child armed with crickets pads and a large wooden bat could take one. Just saying..."
1633: Ban 101-1
Soft hands from Kayes as he dabs a three through gully to bring up Bangladesh's first hundred. I must say, as good as this Lord's wicket may or may not be, would anyone be happy with James Anderson and Tim Bresnan opening the bowling in the first Ashes Test? What about you, sir, at the back? Nope, thought not.
1628: Ban 98-1
Siddique looks ready to pick up where Tamim left off as he flays at a Bresnan delivery, gets an inside edge, and watches as it rolls down to fine leg for four. Swanny continues to wait.
From Andy Dutton in the TMS inbox:
"Re: 1614 - Koalas are famously vicious. Just saying!"
1624: Ban 91-1
Massive lift for England, that wicket, and just as Tamim had got his eye in too. Junaid Siddique is the new Bangladesh batsman and he averages 25.90 in Tests. He gets off the mark with a push through mid-off for three - the tourists still trailing by 414 runs.
1618: WICKET! Tamim run out 54, Ban 88-1
Graeme Swann is made to look on for now, but he surely has plenty of work to do this afternoon as Tim Bresnan is carted around the ground by Tamim. The opener follows one pull in front of square for four with another boundary turned behind square leg and that brings him up his 50 from just 60 balls... BUT TAMIM IQBAL GOES NOW! Run-out has threatened all day and finally it pays, Kevin Pietersen's pick-up-and-throw running round from gully demolishing the stumps and Tamim is well short of his ground.
1614: Ban 78-0
James Anderson continues, displaying all the threat of a newborn koala, and Tamim Iqbal prods him away comfortably.
1610: Ban 77-0
Tim Bresnan does his best Jimmy Anderson short-and-wide impression and Kayes repeats his trick of the previous over and slaps him through backward point for another post-tea boundary. Bangladesh starting to turn this into a bit of a match. Fair play to 'em. Cancel the food fight! The suits have invaded the Bangladesh dressing room! Plenty of Bangladeshi players surrounded by the team hierarchy on the balcony now and the chances of any Lord's mischief from the tourists goes from none to zero.
1605: Ban 72-0
Geoff Boycott will be spitting over his Bovril at that as James Anderson drops short again and Kayes thrashes him to the square boundary fence on the cut. Game on.
Hello! It is I - King of the Friday text commentary Cameo Sam Lyon. I'll be chatting you through the first half hour or so of the final session so if you could do the necessary manual refresh all will be present and correct in the byline arena. Jubbly. Bangladesh, more comfortable than a pair of Christmas slippers before tea, will resume on 67-0, giving England's bowlers plenty to dwell on over their afternoon tea for sure. Where's ya money for this session folks?
Former England batsman Geoff Boycott on TMS:
"We haven't looked like bowling anyone out. We've been bowling too short again and Jimmy has had one of those days where he's not been very good."
From dancingDungbeetle, on 606:
"Bring on Boycott's mother!"
1542: TEA Ban 67-0
Stick it right up 'em, Strauss tells Finn, and the long-armed paceman does as he's told - one past the nose, one at the chest, the remainder left alone. Bangladesh's session, I'd say.
From Mark Rawlinson, TMS inbox:
"RE: Jenny (15:07) If it is going to be girl, then it will be a maiden delivery."
1539: Ban 67-0
Swann again, but the Bangladeshi pair are playing him very nicely here. There's a chance of a run-out when Tamim calls Kayes through for a dicey one - home by a fraction - and a single milked with the turn to leg. Time for one more?
1537: Ban 65-0
Finn coming in from the Nursery End - he usually bowls from the Pavilion End when here for Middlesex, but Strauss is pulling the strings. Singles available all over, and we'll have time for one more before tea. Some other cricketing news today - Zimbabwe have pulled off a tremendous victory over mighty India, the underdogs securing a six-wicket win after Rohit Sharma's century set them 286 in Bulawayo. Brendan Taylor made 81 and Craig Ervine an unbeaten 67.
1530: Ban 60-0
Yeah, Swanny it is - Jimmy in at slip, interestingly, with Belly at short leg - Colin Collingwood, as David Cameron called him the other day, having vacated for the series. Big shout early doors from the faster flatter one - Swanny likes it, but De Silva reckons he saw an inside edge. And he's right.
1522: Ban 59-0
Anderson now, coming in hard for his seventh over - slightly too much width, and Kayes will glide-drive that away with minimal effort for four. Pokey poke outside off next - was there an edge? The England fielders seem to think so, but Umpire De Silva rebuffs. Strayer onto the pads up next, and that'll be flicked away fine for four more. Where's this wicket coming from? Swannage?
From Ben Curtis, TMS inbox:
"Re: Jenny (15:07) - Creasetine?"
1516: Ban 50-0
Yup, Strauss decides it's time to get Finnvolved. What's the beanpole got up those skinny sleeves? Strayer onto the pads for two; no-ball; over-pitched and driven away for four. Tight single (KP hits, but the batsman is home) and two more, glanced away past short fine leg. Hmmm.
From Lawrence Jones, TMS inbox:
"Am sitting in the Grand Stand at Lord's and I've (so far) waived three times to debutant Eoin Morgan - and he's waived back twice. What a lovely guy. I promise to keep you up to date as the day grinds on."
1512: Ban 41-0
Bell in at forward short leg, helmet on, shades down, cap furled and tucked away in belt of trousers - neither batsman makes him move. Steady opening partnership now.
From Jenny, TMS inbox:
"I would like to assure my boyfriend, Ben from Lincoln, that we will not be naming our firstborn child Brat Lee, Monkey, Jonathan Tot or any other name based on cricketers. My motherly instinct tells me that we are having a girl and as you know Ben, I'm always right."
1507: Ban 39-0
Shell? What shell? Brezza drops short and is hooked with extravagant lustiness by Tamim for a crashing four. Two balls later he over-pitches and is driven back down the ground for four more. Might be time to switch things around - hold on, four more! Battered through extra cover on the up, for all the world like Larry Gomes at his soul-glo peak.
From Wayne in Darlo, TMS inbox:
"Could he not be named Javed Miandad, then both parent and child get a mention."
1501: Ban 27-0
Tamim's gone back into his shell in the last ten minutes, which means that he's down to a wafty streak just twice an over. Little glance off Jim for one, followed by a shovel off the pads to midwicket for three more. England starting to get a little frustrated.
From Graham Peall, TMS inbox:
"Many years ago (he is unfortunately very old) my work colleague was knocked out in a game of cricket by a semi frozen fish that had been dropped by a "butter-beaked" bird that had unfortunately lost his catch of the day. I am more than prepared for him to go through the same embarrassing episode if it means we are guaranteed to retain the Ashes and in fact I am prepared for the same said bird to drop an even bigger slightly more frosty fish."
1455: Ban 21-0
Jimmy, scampering, nose crinkled a la Daffy - steeples one at the diminutive Kayes, the ball flies up off the shoulder of the bat... and clears all three slips. Four streaky ones. Glimpse of Steve Finn there, parked under his England cap, shades wedged on top, waiting for his call.
From Greggsy, TMS inbox:
"Re David Ball: I think when the fruit of your loins comes out gritty and solid, that's usually called kidney stones."
1450: Ban 15-0
Half-checked cut from Tamim for one, back on strike immediately when Kayes nips one down backward of square leg. Bresnan looks like he's lost a touch of weight since last summer - still carrying a decent stack of timber, of course, but in a barrel-chested rather than Ian Austin-chested manner.
From David Ball, TMS inbox:
"Re: Rob Smith, I would rather the fruit of my loins turned out like Colly; gritty and solid. A true Northern son."
1447: Ban 12-0
Big trampoline bounce from Anderson, and Prior leaps high to take consecutive deliveries two-handed above his head. Kayes leaves alone while blinking furiously.
From Sloccy in Bath, TMS inbox:
"To retain the Ashes, I'd consider reading another Fordyce and Dirs book. Well probably, depends on the length of it."
1443: Ban 12-0
Decent lick from Bresnan here - he's getting some bump out of this track, and Tamim doesn't know how to handle it. Enormous slashing cut, missing; ambitious backfoot drive, almost plays on.
1438: Ban 12-0
Nice line from Jimmy to the leftie Kayes, snaking them across from over the wicket and bringing the occasional cutter back in. Pleasant mid-afternoon rumble around Lord's, the white wines easing away the stresses of the week and the occasional why-not-I'll-have-another sandwich going down the gullet.
1434: Ban 10-0
Tim Bresnan will bustle in from the Nursery End - Tamim takes a mighty mow at a short one and top edges over gully for a flashing four. Another short one - hooked, hard and down, and that races away for four more to deep square leg. Bresnan sniffs, returns to his mark and turns - waah, another mighty waft outside off that meets nothing but warm summertime air.
From Rob Smith, TMS inbox:
"Re Ben in Lincoln. But who would you rather your progeny turned out like most? Affable and laddish Swann? Bloody good bloke like Strauss? Arrogant but brilliant KP? Tricky."
1430: Ban 1-0
So then - it'll be Jimmy Anderson with the cherry, three slips in, backward point, short leg, Tamim Iqbal to face - tucked off the pads for a single. Imrul Kayes now - ooof, short and nasty past the snout.
Jonathan Agnew on Test Match Special:
"It's extraordinary how white these whites are!"
From eirebilly, on 606:
"Time to see what the bowlers can produce now. I am more than happy with England's performance with the bat, 500 in any Test match is a pretty good achievement."
Phil Tufnell on Test Match Special:
"It really is a feather in your cap. You feel really proud to see your name up on the board for taking five wickets."
From Charlie, London, TMS inbox:
"Re Ben in Lincoln, you could name him after Ian Bell, then you'd have Baby Bell. Cheesy, I know."
1416: WICKET Anderson b Shahdat 13, Eng 505 all out
Finn, the bat like a matchstick on the end of his Mr Tickle arms, still waiting for his first Test runs - served up on a plate by Shaha with a full toss and driven away for three. Anderson... cleaned up! Five wickets for the lean paceman, and that's a smashing effort in the face of awful odds.
From Andi Kidd, TMS inbox:
"A friend of mine at a karate competition took a kick to his vital area. His box was not in the right place and one of his testes was crushed. Two days later he went to casualty where a plastic splinter from the side of the box was removed from the now black small football sized object. Later this had to be removed. I would be willing to go through......no, hang on, they can keep them."
1412: Eng 502-9
Fine catch that, diving forward to snag it just above the turf. Steve Finn strides in for his home Test dayboo, and watches in admiration as Jimmy reverse-sweeps for his own four of derring-do.
1410: WICKET Swann c Rubel b Shakib 22, Eng 498-9
Big pull from Swann - six! Switch-hit - four! Another pull - oh. Bagged at deep square leg.
From Mike, Ashford, TMS inbox:
"1978, home from first term at University. Arrived home in the dark, went straight out in the dark to pub with mates I hadn't seen since summer. Home via back gate and garden at midnight, pandemonium as I walked straight into the large garden pond Dad and my brother had, unbeknown to me, dug out while I was away. My mother yelling from the bedroom window for the whole road to hear about the shame of her drunken son lying flat on his back in the water. Happy to repeat experience for any Ashes retention."
1406: Eng 488-8
Shahadat switches to over the wicket for leftie Jimmy, and a short lifter is dabbed down past the sprawling gully for four more. A man in a trilby and the sort of multi-pocketed gilet favoured by fishermen raises an inebriated fist.
From Mark in Reigate, TMS inbox:
"Re: Ben's baby. 'Jonathan Tot.' I thank you."
1401: Eng 484-8
Jimmy Anderson comes in to join his Tweeting pal Swannage, and when Shakib tosses one up outside off he takes a stride forward to crash it through point for his first four. Raucous cheers from the placard-toting schoolkids in the crowd.
From Piers, TMS inbox:
"Albert Neilson Hornby otherwise known as 'Monkey' Hornby is remembered as the England Cricket Captain whose side lost the Test match which gave rise to the Ashes, at home against the Australians in 1882. Any of those names would be appropriate for Ben in Lincoln, personally I like 'Monkey'."
1357: Eng 478-8
So Trott's finally on his way, and the Lord's crowd rises to him - 349 balls, 20 fours, 116 overs, and the bedrock of England's tally. Well played sar - well played.
1354: WICKET Trott c Kayes b Shahadat 226, Eng 478-8
Angled across again - slash - super pouch at gully...
1352: Eng 478-7
Swanny's not going to mess about here - he side-steps down the track to Shakib and launches him high over long on for a crowd-pleasing six. Cheeky little paddle round the corner for two more, and any post-luncheon snoozes are immediately postponed.
1349: Eng 468-7
Swann the new man - England's player of the year, no less. Friendly full toss from Shaha to ease him off the golden quacker, breezed through extra cover by the grinning tweaker.
From Terry, Brasov, Romania, TMS inbox:
"Re Ben in Lincoln: Brat Lee?"
1346: WICKET Bresnan c Siddique b Shahadat 25, Eng 463-7
Change of angle from the quick here, going round the wicket to... he's bagged him! Angled across, little tempter, fenced at and skinnied through to first slip. Good captaincy and bowling.
From Mark, Derby, TMS inbox:
"I think Ben in Lincoln has surely answered his own question re the naming of his first born......Little Ern?"
1343: Eng 462-6
Shakib brings himself on for the first over of the lunchtime session, just as the final vestiges of this morning's painkillers disappear from the facial nerves. Brandy... Tossed up outside off, and Bresnan drives for one to mid-off before Trott batters a fuller one past extra cover for four more.
From Moon, 606:
"The pies came early with that last over......buffet time."
From Silk, 606:
"Pretty poor cricket all round this morning. Bangladesh were good for the first few overs, none of the England batsmen are really timing the ball, and now Bangladesh have gone off the boil, too. I want this innings over ASAP so we can just have a bowl, and put some excitement in the game."
From Ben in Lincoln, TMS inbox:
"I am going to be a Dad for the first time on November 17th. That is 8 days before the first Ashes test. I would gladly name my first born after some Ashes based inspiration if that meant retaining the little urn
1301: LUNCH Eng 456-6
Mohammad Ashraful on for a last-gasp slice of spin, and this could be the most laughable over of the year so far - 40mph, as loopy as Tanky Challenor, and occasionally close to bouncing twice. Bresnan cuts one dreadful wide one away for four and then leaves alone with a horrified stare - he'll lunch on 24, the indefatigable Trott on 217. Shall we go again in 30?
From Stuart Horrocks, TMS inbox:
"I would be willing to face Bret Lee with no pads and bat in the nets for an hour."
Ball starting to keep a fraction low from Shakib, and Brezza has to jab down late to keep his castle intact. Re 1244 - it was of course '09. I blame the searing pain that is my cheek and gum coming back to life post triple-anaesthetic.
From Ed in London, TMS inbox:
"My housemate has recently rekindled his love affair with an ex - known to the rest of us as "3 out of 10". I'd be willing to put up with her watching the Eastender omnibus on my sofa every weekend for the rest of the year if it retains the Ashes."
Rubel cantering in, arm held low, action all sling - ooof, wide and going wider, quite accurately called a wide by Umpo De Silva. That's nice from Trott, showing the balance of a beefy ballerina to clip away to leg for a jogged two and strolled single. Brezza touches one away off the final ball, and we'll drifting towards the interval. Can a man eat a cheese and pickle sandwich through a straw?
From Phil, London, TMS inbox:
"I would be willing to show my wife a power point presentation outlining the faults of her mother and how she is, in fact, becoming the exact same woman."
Single run away off the face by Trott to move to 211, and that's his highest ever first-class score. Brezza seems to lose the next one from the hand and makes an Inmanesque "Oooo!" face as the ball whistles past his off peg. Short and in the sights up next, and he'll pull that away for a meaty single to deep midwicket.
From Mick in Garstang, TMS inbox:
"During Euro 96 I was sitting the finals of my accountancy exams. The last exam was on the Thursday morning which followed the semi final between England and Germany the night before. As I entered the exam with my whole world shattered I didn't think things could get much worse. That was until I attempted to answer the first question using the TV remote control that I had packed with my things the night before. I was in the middle of over a hundred silent accountants trying to explain to the invigilator what had happened and pleading with him to let me borrow his calculator. If England were to win the ashes I would willingly go through this utter humiliation again - naked."
Maiden from Shakib, Bresnan putting size 11s down the track and blocking like Monty at Cardiff '08. Ah, the memories.
From Gareth Jones, London, TMS inbox:
"I forgot last night to turn off the supply to the electrified fence I use to protect my chickens from Mr Fox (descended from a convict with a huge inferiority complex and chips on all four of his gingery shoulders). In trying to crawl through a gap I'd fashioned, I succeeded in making a perfect connection between one end and the other, thereby earning myself a ZAP to the kidneys of biblical proportions. I'm happy to repeat in return for a whitewash."
Shahadat's had enough of Trott's patented Scratch Dig Scrape - he turns and tears in while Trott is still deepening the trench. Short and rapid down leg - gloved away fine, and there's no-one stationed down there - four more. Another lifter follows - this time Trott flays and misses. Half-hearted appeal from cover and bowler, but Stumper Rahim didn't bother. Job done.
From Paul, London, TMS inbox:
"Tom, I believe I would be willing to advise my girlfriend that yes, your new dress does make you look fat, and endure the fallout, were that the purchase price of retaining the Ashes"
Shakib goes negative, tossing it up outside leg. Not the ideal pre-luncheon fare, and Trott opts against tucking in.
From Jeff, London, TMS inbox:
"I will be prepared to let Jack Bauer (24) spend 10 minutes interrogating the wife."
Hello - there's Mike Gatting high in a hospitality box. I'm referring to his position, I should add, not his mental state. Impeccable blazer and white goatee. Wonder if there's a bib just out of sight. Brezza steps away and mows with agricultural ease out to deep midwicket for two more.
From David, Northern Ireland, TMS inbox:
"I'm going to take Graham's stonking hangover and raise him a KP boundary bouncing up off the rope and catching me on the chin, not only the physical pain, but I'll take the embarrassment on TV into the bargain."
Here we go - short and tempting outside off, but he leaves it alone. Short and straighter up next - he's after it - through the infield and away into the open spaces beyond midwicket, and that's the two that takes Trott to his maiden Test double century. 317 balls, 18 fours, and a work of great application and patience - big smiles as lid is removed, and the home balcony return the beams.
From Dan in London, TMS inbox:
"In response to Graham at 1213 - I'll raise you falling asleep/passing out on top of a bus stop with your corporate tie around your forehead and your shirt with no buttons. Guilty."
Be a brick, Brezza, and get Sir Trottsalot on strike... Nope, two carved away backward of square, and the wait goes on. Bresnan dabs and leaves, and finally Trott will be on strike for the start of the next over. Apprehensive/excited buzz around the half-full stands.
Now then - is this the over for Trott's dooblay? Single off the first ball to creep to 199, and he has to watch from the other end as Brezza clouts a bottom-handed shovel-drive to the boundary boards at midwicket. Single stolen off the final ball, and with it the strike. Trott's palms grow sweatier still.
From James Tatch, TMS inbox:
"What would I endure for us to win? I'd gladly not leave the sofa in front of the TV for the entire series until my various bodily secretions glued me to the cushions and I had to lose several square feet of skin to get up and dance around singing Hallelujah when we clinch it"
Too full from Robiul, and Trott will drill that away for two to the man sweeping on the cover fence. Ooopla - wafty play and miss, and that sends him into a fresh bout of Scratch Dig Scrape. Short and wide, and he'll clunk that away off the toe-end to move to 198.
From Graham, London, TMS inbox:
"For an Ashes win, I start the bidding at a stonking hangover and a few days off work"
Decent spread of blue sky up above, despite the drifting clouds - it's one of those days when you wouldn't bother with the sun-cream, only to wake up the next day looking like Two-Face in Batman Forever. Singles apiece off Rubel.
Bresnan, the very definition of burly, has the chin-strap of his helmet hanging down to his sternum. I give it five minutes before the fastidious Trott comes over and tucks it in for him - he won't be able to help himself. Single backward of square, and that's drinks. Thought for the mini-interval, part-triggered by an email from Dai in Rutland, part by the mental dental stuff - what level of pain/bodily impairment would you be prepared to accept if it meant England retained the Ashes this winter?
Bresnan the new batsman, and he'll need to have a Linekeresque word in Trott's ear here - the centurion's face is set in a death-mask of horror. To those asking whether England will put on tooth-thirty runs today, I salute you with an inadvertent dribble down the chin. Tickle off the pads from Brezza to get off the mark.
Let's have a look at this again - they set off for two, but when Trott turned and stuck up a gloved hand, he may have been hidden behind the stationary bowler - I don't think Prior even saw him. As for the shout - I heard that from here...
1149: WICKET Prior run out 16 Eng 400-6
It's Tamin's wrist, I think - yup, he's clutching it as he's helped to his feet, and staggers off to the dressing-room for some treatment. Not great news for an opening batsman. Trott drives into the off side for the two that will bring up England's 400... no, Trott's sent Prior back, halfway down the track - he's a mile short as the throw comes in, and Rahim clips off the bails...
1145: Eng 399-5
Here's how it happened. Appointment at 0815, expecting to arrive at desk approx 0915. When the third injection went in at 0925, I got the sense it wasn't going to happen. Rubel drops short and gets tapped away behind square for one to Prior, who's slashing and slapping wildly this morning without ever finding the middle. Super shot from Trott, clipping with perfect timing off middle to the midwicket fence. Tamin gives chase and succeeds only in rolling over the ball as it crosses the ropes - looks like he's done himself some damage here. He's actually chewing the padded cover of the boundary rope. Nasty business.
1140: Eng 392-5
Aaaghh. Ooowww. These words signal the fact that Watko is stepping aside, and my two-hour stint in the dentist's chair has drawn to a close. You couldn't manually refresh so all bylines make sense, could you? Trott scratches and digs and scrapes away at the trench he's made on middle and leg, and steer-pulls away for one more.
1138: Eng 390-5:
Prior yet to get his eye in and is looking a little bit frustrated and miscues an attempted pull off Rubel Hossain. Trott also plays uppishly and stands hands on hips after grabbing a single. Very scrappy start, this is not what England would have expected this morning.
1134: Eng 385-5:
Shahadat has the England batsmen pinned down. Three runs off the over. Two for Trott take him to 186.
1130: Eng 384-5:
Trott edges one for four through the second slip area - for some reason Bangladesh don't have anyone there. England struggling to get on top this morning.
1125: Eng 380-5:
Trott nearly yorked by the fired-up Shahadat while Prior almost top-edges a bouncer to the keeper. Phil Tufnell on TMS reckons the players have been told to get a move on and play their shots.
1120: Eng 379-5:
New batsman Matt Prior gets off the mark with a flashy uppish four, not middled but he's up and running with the first boundary of the day. Prior adds three more down the ground - he's going to take the attack on. Good news, Tommy F has arrived and is logging on... normal service will soon be resumed.
1117: Eng 371-5:
Aggers suggests Morgan's poor shot will give plenty of ammunition to those who think the left-hander is not suited to Test cricket. Trott plays and misses to a slower ball and is then fending off a surprising bouncer with some difficulty. Good effort from Shahadat.
WICKET! Morgan c Mushfiqur b Shahadat 44
Morgan chases one outside off stump and is caught behind by Mushfiqur Rahim off the first ball of the third over.
1110: Eng 370-4:
Robiul Islam has the honours from the other end. Trott fiddling and fidgeting as per usual with singles coming easily enough for both batsmen. Plenty of seats available if you fancy getting along to Lord's - could be history in the making if Trott pushes on to that 300...
1105: Eng 365-4:
Shahadat Hossain has the ball. Trott takes a single off the first delivery with a leg-side flick to edge one nearer to his double ton. Morgan also off the mark with a streaky inside edge, which just misses the stumps but gives him two runs.
Bob Willis rings the bell at Lord's to call the batsmen out. He's got a big, wide grin. And here come Trott and Morgan. Trott twirling his bat, Morgan marching out nice and cool.
Here come the Bangladesh side. Their coach Jamie Siddons on TMS wants them to cut out the "schoolboy errors".
Graham Gooch and Alec Stewart both think Trott has a chance of scoring a triple century. Can he? He'd be the first Englishman since Gooch himself made 333 against India at Lord's in 1990.
TMS commentary and video scorecard are now up and running - refresh and you'll see them. Weather is good both for playing and watching, so should be another good day in store.
So Jonathan Trott resumes on 175 and Eoin Morgan on 40 not out as England seek to build on their overnight 362-4.
BBC Sport's Oliver Brett on Twitter:
"As he did yesterday, Geoffrey Boycott has a hatband with his signature embossed prominently. "My mum could bowl Bangladesh out," he tells me."
Morning all. Tom's running late after a marathon/nightmare visit to the dentist, but he's on his way and should be here shortly.