SECOND NPOWER TEST, HEADINGLEY:
England 366-5 v West Indies
England captain Michael Vaughan returned with a stylish century as his team posted 366-5 on day one of the second Test with West Indies at Leeds.
In his first Test for 18 months due to injury, Vaughan struck some classical strokes in his 16th century.
He shared a commanding 131 in 27 overs with Kevin Pietersen, who survived a stumping off a no-ball when 20 to record his second successive century.
Pietersen struck 15 boundaries and was undefeated on 130 at stumps.
LATEST ACTION AS IT HAPPENS (ALL TIMES BST)
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1830 BST - Eng 366-5: Gayle twirls away leisurely, content to concede a couple of casual singles. Umpire Rauf glances up at the clock on the scoreboard, feels his stomach rumble and calls a halt. He snaps off the bails, and that's close - KP left on 130 not out, with Prior on 13. Excellent day for England and the skipper, and most enjoyable banterfest on here. Same again tomorrow?
1822 BST - Eng 362-5: KP's been stirred from his slumbers, and it's Gayle who feels the force now. a lashing cover drive speeding to the fence.
From Mark Russell, TMS inbox: "There aren┐t enough hip-hop names in cricket these days. How about Matty Pizzle? Or M-Dogg?"
1818 BST - Eng 354-5: Colly strays to leg, and Pietersen leans him past midwicket's left hand for his first boundary in 15 overs. Shadows the length of firemen's ladders stretch from the players' feet.
From Peter Coleman, TMS inbox: "With regard to John Dennis's suggestion, surely being taken to Hull is punishment enough?"
1812 BST - Eng 349-5: Chris Gayle yawns and stretches his way back into the attack, and produces a maiden over. KP's stuck on 117, having eased off the accelerator big-time since he spotted the additional wobble on the ball.
1806 BST - Eng 343-5: Nice from Matty P - a crisp push wide of midwicket for two, and then a firmer clip through the same area for four. I'm told that Prior doesn't actually have a nickname, which must make him unique among sportsmen. All suggestions welcome, if you haven't all gone home.
1800 BST - Eng 337-5: A boozy hush has settled over Headingley, and KP and Prior are dropping anchor. You can't blame them - Collymore's started swinging it for the first time all day. Scooby-Doo's having a snooze.
From John Dennis, TMS inbox: "Re the stag: you need to get him to Hull. Arrange beverages until drunk/passed out. Enrol him on a trawler leaving that night. Friend of mine was away for eight days."
1755 BST - Eng 334-5: Matty Prior into the fray, and England could actually do with a little partnership to steady the wheel. When you've got Steve Harmison coming in at number nine, you're always going to be a touch concerned about non-waggage of the tail.
From Michael Knight, TMS inbox: "For a stag night, I think the most important thing you can do for him,is drag him around bars until you find someone who looks almost exactly like the bride to be, then spend a long while talking about 'that ugly bird over there'."
More importantly, Michael, where have you parked KITT?
1749 BST - WICKET - Bell c Ramdin b Collymore 5, Eng 329-5:
That wasn't part of the plan - Corey gets his revenge served piping hot, sliding one away from Bell and inducing the edge behind. Bell winces as he wanders off. If it's any consolation, most of the crowd are too inebriated to care.
1743 BST - Eng 328-4: Does Bell care? No he doesn't - a delicate late cut off Corey C brings him a classical four. Still 17 overs to go tonight - I'll understand if you sack this off in favour of your Friday night monkey-business.
1737 BST - Eng 321-4: It's all gone a touch quiet at Headingley - for some reason, the prospect of Ian Bell nibbling around doesn't seem to have set many pulses racing. Six men dressed as Morris dancers shake their hankies in unity with the fresh-faced new man.
1731 BST: WICKET - Collingwood c Gayle b Collymore 29, Eng 316-4:
That was coming, to be fair - Colly fishes at, er, Colly, and is pouched nicely by Gayle, tumbling to his left at slip. Never looked set today, the Ginger Battler.
1725 BST: Eng 313-3: Oucheroo - Sarwan, chasing a Colly drive to the boundary, crashes into the boards at express pace and lies prone. He's soon surrounded by concerned team-mates, and when he eventually gets to his feet it's to limp off the pitch with his right arm in a sling fashioned from his jumper. Don't reckon he'll be back on the pitch tonight, sadly. Daren Ganga looks to be taking over the captaincy honours.
From Carl in Rochester, TMS inbox: "Dan Warren: first reassure the stag by saying, 'Don't worry mate, we're not going to strip you naked and handcuff you to a lamppost.' Later on, strip him naked and gaffer-tape him to a lamppost."
1720 BST: Eng 310-3: KP's not content with what he's got here - he's advancing down the track at Collymore to the extent that he's almost treading on his toes by the time he releases the ball. Colly's not impressed, and KP smiles winningly back at him.
From Jeremy Clarke, TMS inbox: "I thought 'Jimmy Average' was sent back to Lancashire?"
1715 BST: Eng 305-3: Did I say scratchy? Colly launches into the other Colly, taking him for 11 off the over, including a bottom-edged pulll to fine leg for four. Scratchy-ish, then.
From Ryan Gray, TMS inbox: "If Dan wants to 'stitch up' the groom this weekend, run off with the bride at the reception never to be seen again. That should do the trick."
1709 BST: Eng 293-3: Meanwhile, at the other end, Colly continues to be scratchier than a five-year-old with chickenpox. Bored with playing and missing, he edges Powell to Morton at second slip - but the diving Runako can't cling on.
1702 BST: Eng 286-3:
Drinks safely stashed, KP goes to his own ton with - wait for it - the gentlest of tickles to fine leg. He celebrates like he's just saved the world from alien invasion. A mere 104 balls required, and that's his third Test ton on the bounce. Another great knock, albeit against pretty Jimmy Average bowling. Reckon he can joust on past 158 for once?
From Paul Burgess, TMS inbox: "Re the Brighton stag - I found a website where you can hire Oompa Loompas by the hour. Okay, so they're not real ones, just midgets painted green - but surely just as good?"
1656 BST: Eng 282-3: Wallop - KP flays again against Taylor and picks up another fence-rattler of a four. Three runs shy of his ton, and the posse of Captain Cavemen in the stands thump each other over the head with their foam clubs. It's that exciting. Brief pause for a drinks break.
1650 BST: Eng 275-3: KP's clearly decided that it's time to take over - he batters Bravo square for four and then pulls an attempted bouncer high over midwicket for a fearfully brutal four. Suddenly he's up to 91. A man in a St George's Cross bikini raises an almost-empty beer bottle in celebration.
1643 BST: Eng 263-3: More musique du chinne for Colly, this time from Taylor. He's hopping around like a flea on a trampoline. Weather still perfect, by the way - long shadows from the balmy sun, a pleasant cooling breeze and not a single cloud with significant menace.
From Dan Warren, TMS inbox: "I'm best man to a very nervous stag in Brighton this weekend. I wondered if anyone has good ideas about how to calm his nerves. Or better still, any ideas about how to massively stitch him up."
1638 BST: Eng 259-3: In comes Collingwood, and Bravo immediately unloosens three successive nose-ticklers at him. Might have something to do with the hook-shot addiction that keeps getting him out, I'd wager.
From Adrian Bayly, TMS inbox: "I was at Moor Park golf course watching a Pro-am competition called the '4-stars' in the mid 80's when, being caught short walking the course I hastened into a temporary portakabin-type toilet. At the next urinal stood Telly Savalas, who acknowledged my presence with the most extravagant passing of wind."
1631 BST - WICKET - Vaughan c Morton b Taylor 103, Eng 254-3:
Alas - moments after celebrating that ton, Vaughan pulls sweetly to the midwicket boundary - only for Morton's hands to pluck the ball from the air microseconds before it would have crossed the boundary for six. Vaughan can't believe it - he removes his lid and trudges off, wiping his gloves across his sweat-pearled forehead. The standing ovation lifts his mood a fraction.
1623 BST - Eng 250-2:
There it is! Vaughan edges Taylor past slip, the ball races away to the third man boundary and the crowd explode with joy - Vaughan has his 16th Test ton. He punches the air and jumps for joy, straight into the arms of Kevin Pietersen, who lifts him skywards and then nearly throttles him with a hairy-armed embrace. 164 balls it took him, after his first three runs took 33 deliveries. Super comeback for the skipper.
1619 BST - Eng 245-2: Vaughan on strike - and he squeezes off a single square to trickle to 96. A single blow now and he'll be home. NB to those correspondents pointing out that he can't be a Yorkshireman as he was born in Lancashire, I say this: he plays for Yorkshire, lives in Sheffield and supports Sheffield Wednesday.
From Simon Mill, TMS inbox: "I once did a running bomb into the local swimming pool only to surface and see a particularly angry-looking Andy Ripley holding a crying child. I have never left swimming pool faster than I did that day. He was absolutely massive."
1612 BST - Eng 242-2: Temporary cessation to the action as an aged steward in blazer and Panama - the absolute spit of Dickie Attenborough - wanders into KP's eyeline behind the bowler's arm. Despite the entire ground shouting at him to move, he bumbles around cluelessly until Umpire Rauf runs all the way up to him and tells him to shove off. I say Dickie Attenborough - there's a touch of Ken Bates in there too. KP, happy once again, clouts Taylor for two to deep cover to move to 70.
1608 BST - Eng 235-2: Pietersen drives thricely - what a ridiculous word - at Bravo, picking up two twos and a single through cover. All off one foot, which is a neat trick. My solemn pledge to you: I will never again use the word "thricely" in a cricket commentary.
1602 BST - Eng 230-2: Not sure what Jerome Taylor had for tea, but it's unsettled him badly - he serves up a half-volley for Vaughan to drive for three, and then goes wider to allow KP to hammer a thumper through cover for four. Biscuit-Boy moves to 95 not out - no sig of him crumbling yet.
1538 BST - Eng 222-2: Phew - lucky again from Vaughan, fooled again by a slower one and fortunate to see a loopy outside egde fly through the vacant third slip area. That's tea, too - England scored 131 runs in that session without losing a wicket, and Vaughan will sup a cuppa on 92 not out; KP on 53.
1530 BST - Eng 215-2: Good slower one from from Bravo, and Vaughan nearly steers it straight to cover. Mouth and eyes wide open, he watches aghast as the ball drops just short. He then chases a wide one and nearly nibbles it to the 'keeper. Anxious interlude.
From Angus Mercer, TMS inbox: "Congratulations to Pete Harmer for bowling out Mick Jagger's son. Back in primary school when we played Ibstock Place I fell victim to a peach of a yorker from Jagger Junior that bowled me all ends up. Still, it was nice to see his father clapping me back into the pavilion."
1523 BST - Eng 213-2:
Crack - that's KP's 50, leaning into an inswinging full-toss from Taylor and thumping it past midwicket for four. It's taken him 67 balls, and you get the feeling he's still loosening up. Happiness is flowing around the stands here - the sun is shining, England are dominating, KP is about to slip into fifth gear and a Yorkshireman is just 15 runs short of his century.
From J James, TMS inbox: "I once stood behind Lawrence Dallaglio in a Sainsbury┐s '15 items or less' queue. For an England rugby player I was quite surprised to see him with a basket full of Pickled Onion Monster Munch, Scampi Fries, Findus Crispy Pancakes, Birdseye Potato Waffles and a 2 Litre bottle of Coke. He also clearly had more than 15 items but I wasn┐t going to tell him; he┐s a big lad."
1516 BST - Eng 201-2: Gayle loses his line and KP drives twice for twos to move to 45. If there are any men in the ground without pints in their hand, I can't see them.
From Matt, TMS inbox: "I once stood next to Anthony Worrall Thompson at a urinal. I hasten to add I was at a urinal too, I wasn┐t just stood there watching him ┐go┐."
1510 BST - Eng 196-2: Four singles on the bounce for England, and this is now a record partnership for the third wicket against the Windies on this ground. More interestingly, here's a mock-up of Biscuit-Boy, as emailed in by Chris Charlesworth:
From Pete Harmer, TMS inbox: "I was once playing cricket at school against Stowe and bowled Mick Jagger's son out, with Mick Jagger looking on. We were specifically told before not to ask him about drugs."
1504 BST - Eng 189-2: I'm not counting my chooks yet, but I've got away with it so far - Vaughan drives Taylor for two and does the same for three next ball to move to 76. KP, never knowingly out-shone, drives himself for four.
1501 BST - Eng 179-2: Vaughan drives Gayle for three through wide mid-off. I'm going to ignore the mockers - the man's looking bang back in form. There, I've said it.
From Dave Jones, TMS inbox: "I once stood behind Geoff Capes in the queue in our local chippy. Not only was he rude, he also took the last remaining chips - I had to wait an extra five minutes for more to be served up."
1456 BST - Eng 172-2: Powell is taking a fearful pasting - Vaughan pulls him for a sumptuous four, steals a single and then watches his partner smash another four straight past cover. The partnership's up to 81, and the Windies are flagging.
From Stuart Scott, TMS inbox: "A few years ago we got invited to a party at John Craven's house by his daughter. We managed to get into his office and got his address book out. I doubt Sarah Green, Keith Chegwin and Chris Tarrant will ever forget the phone calls they received that night."
1452 BST - Eng 160-2: Vaughan, inspired by the fly-past, piles into Powell, flicking him fine for four and then cracking him past point off the back foot. Once again the urge to enthuse about how comfortably he looks is tempered by fear of mockers-placing.
From Rupert Collier, TMS inbox: "I went to school with the ex-England rugby captain Laurence Dallaglio. He was a few years above me and caught me smoking in the toilets. He said he wouldn't tell my housemaster if I gave him the rest of my cigarettes, to which I duly obliged. Then he told my housemaster and got me suspended for a week. Never trust a rugby player."
1445 BST - Eng 147-2: There's a deep roar from the clouds - it's the Lancaster! All play is immediately halted as the old warhorse trundles over the ground to a raucous ovation, its progress marked by thousands of fans standing up and wiggling their arms up in wing-like fashion. The plane banks tightly over Elland Road and comes back again to a defeaning chorus of the Dambusters march - although the proximity of the Betfair blimp does cause some anxiety. Scooby-Doo is close to tears.
1440 BST - Eng 147-2: The klosest of kalls for KP - Gayle, in his first over since lunch, does him all ends up in the flight and begins to celebrate as Ramdin whips off the bails for a stumping - only to turn around and see Umpire Rauf signalling no-ball. KP doesn't even look embarassed.
From Craig in Glasgow, TMS inbox: "On the subject of Emberg, I was dismayed to read today that the most common English stereotype of the Scots is Russ Abbot's 'See You Jimmy' character. From the nation that gave the world TV, the telephone, penicillin, the pneumatic tyre and golf among many others, yet we are seen as ginger-wigged, braces wearing, incomprehensible bampots.
"Surely Rab C Nesbit would have been a better choice?"
1434 BST - Eng 142-2: Even the Dutch girl is on her feet now - KP leans back to a short snifter from Powell and thumps him through midwicket for a crashing four. A fuller one on leg then gets clipped past mid-on for three, and that's the 50 partnership between these two.
From Edward Liversidge, TMS inbox: "I know this is about school encounters but I must tell you of how I came face to face with Norman Pace's (from Hale and Pace) son over a table-tennis table. He bleated on about how great he was at table-tennis, but I went on to totally destroy him. I was 16, I think he was eight."
1428 BST - Eng 135-2: The singing reaches new levels as KP smashes Collymore back down the ground for a brutal four. Batman and Robin Hood join Scooby-Doo in an impromptu conga, while a man dressed as a yougn Dutch girl watches on admiringly.
From Will Beattie, TMS inbox: "I once helped Chris Old man the long jump at my little brother's school sports day in Truro (his wife was a teacher there). I asked him how he got on with Boycott when he was at Yorkshire and he replied, 'How would you get on with a hole in yer head'."
1423 BST - Eng 130-2:
Powell makes Vaughan wait, landing three successive balls just short of a length on off. Vaughan pushes at a fourth, Sarwan mis-fields at mid-off and a huge cheer goes up - that's 50 for the England skipper. He waves his bat around the ground happily. Took him 94 balls, with seven fours. And interesting, that's his 15th Test half century - to go with his 15 Test centuries. I say interestingly - I'm lying, of course.
1418 BST - Eng 129-2:With Powell on the brink of delivering to KP, there's a cacophonous roar overhead. KP pulls away, and thousands of necks crane skywards. Is it the doughty Lancaster, battling heroically against unfavourable winds? Alas no - it's merely a phalanx of modern-day fighter-planes, fizzing around with no care about the game taking place far below. KP, relieved that it's not Graeme Smith on a vicious revenge mission, settles down again and takes a single.
From Carl Booth, TMS inbox: "A few years ago I stood next to Dawn French outside an antique shop in Tintagel. She was really glum-looking because it was pouring down with rain, which is quite ironic because you would expect a comedienne-vicar to be cheerful all the time."
1413 BST - Eng 128-2:Hearts in mouths at Headingley as Vaughan goes to 49 with another four custard-creamed through midwicket. KP then calls him through for a sharp single, which has Ramdin flinging the ball at the stumps and striking Vaughan a glancing blow on the leg. There's a gasp of horror from around the ground - but no SNAP is audible, and we breathe again.
From Archie Pepper, TMS inbox: "Has anyone else ever met Bryan Robson's daughter? Me and a few mates bumped in to her in Vale do Lobo in 2004. A couple tried and failed to pull her (one even got a slap for his efforts)."
1408 BST - Eng 120-2:The post-lunch singing begins in the stands as Vaughan drives with sweet timing through cover for four. A pantomime cow raises its udders in joy.
1404 BST - Eng 115-2:Another dabber from Vaughan for two more, and then Pietersen flips through midwicket for two more. If you're wondering where that Lancester bomber went to, apparently its arrival has been delayed until 2.45 BST. Bad weather delayed take-off.
Jonathan Agnew, TMS: "Just imagine climbing into a Lancaster's bubble and being the rear gunner."
From Nadeem Razvi, TMS inbox: "My Drama teacher at school was Dennis Waterman's wife before Rula Lenska got the gig. Wonder if he convinced her to marry him by singing how good he could be for her."
1357 BST - Eng 111-2: Two more to Vaughan, angled down to third man. KP kontents himself with a single, little realising that his stroll has left HMS England saluting Nelson.
From Jeremy Barker, TMS inbox: "When Biscuit-Boy is dunked in a cuppa, does he turn into his evil alter-ego, the Yorkshire Dipper?"
1354 BST - Eng 108-2: Ah, you never have to wait too long for this particular cavalier swordsman - Bravo strays down leg twice, and with a gap as wide as Bella Emberg at fine leg KP helps himself to two flicky fours. Could that be the first sentence in history to feature both Emberg and the words "fine leg"?
From Steve in Adelaide, TMS inbox: "My uncle tunes Orlando Bloom┐s mother┐s piano."
1349 BST - Eng 100-2: Once again the might of B-B strikes - this time timing Collymore beautifully in front of midwicket for four. KP can't get a look-in at the moment, and he's twitching away like D'Artagnan on Red Bull at the non-striker's end.
From Daniel Griffiths, TMS inbox: "I went to school with Simon Jones. You had to pray you were on his side in PE, for fearing of losing a limb to a thunderbolt bowled at you from a standing start. Everytime he'd bat, the last thing he'd say was 'Boys, the cars having it today' in reference to the teachers' cars that were always parked on the boundary edge. Top bloke."
1344 BST - Eng 96-2: Bravo to wake us up after luncheon, and he begins with two booming wides. Vaughan then pushes a quick single to Ganga at point and turns in surprise to see a needless hurl send the ball racing away for four overthrows. That's the power of Biscuit-Boy, you see - impossible for mere mortals to tame.
From Leighton Turner, TMS inbox: "I went to primary school with Peter Withe's son when his dad was playing for Notts. Forest. Some of the lads idolized him. I just thought he was an arrogant pratt. Still never really spoke to him so I may be doing him an injustice."
From Pat Stafford, same source: "I went to school with Antony Costa, the ugly one from Blue, although I was a few years older than he was. Good job really, as I was his Maths teacher."
1300 BST - WICKET - Cook lbw Gayle 42, Eng 91-2:
Don't choke on your picnic, but Cook's gone! Gayle, on for what seemed a token tweak in the last over before the break, straightens one with his final ball and Cook's trapped bang in front. You've never seen Gayle look so excited - he may even have shouted. Vaughan will lunch on 25 not out, with KP to join him in about 40 minutes. See you then.
From Andrew Burrill, TMS inbox: "I went to school with Bernard Cribbins' sister's children, but they were a couple of years below me so I didn't speak to them."
1257 BST - Eng 88-1: Five identicals from Bravo, all angled across Cook and inducing nothing more than a look and a leave. The final ball is a touch straighter and gets the straight bat treatment. Lunch three minutes away, although I have to admit scoffing my sarnies at midday - sheer regretable greed. I'll be starving by 2.30pm.
1252 BST - Eng 87-1: Vaughan's trademark cover drive is gradually coming back to life - he does the high-elbow thing against Taylor and picks up three through mid-off. No sign of this Lancaster Bomber so far, although as some of you have pointed out he does have an ankle injury at the moment.
1246 BST - Eng 84-1: Bravo for Bravo - a tighter-than-the-JBs maiden.
From Robert Barnes, TMS inbox: "In true comic-book hero style, I'd like to see Biscuit-Boy get smothered in dark chocolate and become all twisted and evil."
1246 BST - Eng 81-1: Taylor drops a fraction short and Cook's onto it in the blink of a salamander's eye, slapping it through midwicket for a have-that four. A throaty roar rises from the Western Terrace.
From Chris Arnold, TMS inbox: "Michael Vaughan tried it on with an ex-girlfriend of mine once at a black tie dinner. He played and missed. I didn't like him for a while, but as I have matured I've moved on."
1240 BST - Eng 76-1: Bravo takes a bow, and Cook punches him through midwicket for three to move to 37. All the time in the world, this lad. I'd say he looks like he could bat all day, except that would clearly produce his instant dismissal.
From Ben Taylorson, TMS inbox: "Gah, how envious I am of interesting 'I went to school with...' stories. My contribution of 'I went to school with some moron who headbutted Bryan Robson's daughter' is simply not in the Vaughan/Spectrum/Chris De Burgh league."
1236 BST - Eng 73-1: A KP Special from Vaughan as he bottom-hands a ball from Taylor on off-stump through midwicket for four. He's moved to 20 off 51 balls, an acceleration as rapid as Mike Gatting falling out of a tree.
From Rob Eaton, TMS inbox: "Please could Biscuit-Boy be killed at the end by being dunked in a giant cup of tea, with different limbs slowly dissolving and/or breaking off?"
1230 BST - Eng 68-1: Very steady from Powell - keeping Cook guesing outside off and then forcing Vaughan back into Tavare mode.
From Paul Hallett, TMS inbox: "We used to play a team in Horley, and on some Sunday evenings after the game we'd partake in a social in the local pub. On a few occasions the Cure would come in and drink with us, once notably persuading the landlord to keep the bar open as they came racing in from Gatwick at 22.20 from the States desperate for a pint; paying for all the drinks. Top fellas, top band. We stopped playing the team in Horley when one of their lads (sharp left-handed quick) had a heart attack and died in the showers."
1226 BST - Eng 67-1: Vaughan, dander now officially up, flicks a drive at Taylor and gets a fortuitous four off a thick edge to third man. He then takes a deep breath and drives Taylor beautifully through mid-off - super shot. We'll ignore the fact that he nearly plays-on next ball, surviving by a whiskette.
From Ed Smith, TMS inbox: "I can remember being about 8 or 9 years old and playing Test match cricket on my old Spectrum with Micheal Vaughan (we went to the same school in Sheffield). I let him bat first in the game if we could listen to my dad's Chris de Burgh tape."
1220 BST - Eng 58-1: Biff-bofferoo! England floor the accelerator as Cook drives for three and Vaughan pulls hopefully for a four. On the Western Terrace, a man dressed as Scooby-Doo looks up in surprise at the sudden explosion of noise.
From Jim Abraham, TMS inbox: "I once flew in formation with a Lancaster Bomber and two Spitfires. I was in a Cessna on my first flying lesson over Marlow when suddenly the two fighters zoomed past each window and the Bomber loomed up from just below us. Quite a thrill."
1216 BST - Eng 50-1: Make that three off 33 balls. Maybe there'll be a role for Vaughan in any subsequent X-Men film, taking the place of Wolverine - Biscuit-Boy, the man with shortbread for shins and digestives for digits.
1212 BST - Eng 50-1: Powell bounds in to Cook, who leaves well alone. Maiden over. Not that Vaughan can complain, when he's raced to three not out off 27 balls. It's like England-South Africa in the World Cup all over again. In the TMS commentary box, Boycott is close to exploding with happiness.
1209 BST - Eng 50-1: Taylor continues to Vaughan, who's not quite got his mojo in full working order yet. Taylor keeps him decent until a sprayer down leg tickles the pad and flies past the tumbling Ramdin for four leg byes.
From Alison Bell, TMS inbox: "If I was a West Indian bowler bowling to Vaughan, I wouldn't even bother trying to get him out. I'd just send wide balls down that he has to stretch for and wait for his arms to snap off."
1200 BST - Eng 46-1: Cook drives new bowler Taylor straight with minimum effort for two to move to 25. As the drinks cart comes on, Simple Minds's "Don't You Forget About Me" comes over the tannoy - surely another nailed-down cert on the Vaughan iPod.
1154 BST - Eng 44-1:Cook tickles Colly off his pads for two as Vaughan watches on approvingly. Can't see Vaughan being much of a Goth - got him down as far more of a meat-and-potatoes Oasis/Kasabian man. With a spot of Melua for cosy Sunday nights on the sofa with Mrs Vaughan.
From Nick Martin, TMS inbox: "The song 'Catch' on the 1987 album 'Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me' by The Cure was surely a belated tribute to England's 1985 Ashes side."
1149 BST - Eng 42-1: Vaughan eyes a swinging full-toss from Powell and thick-edges it away for two. One of the togas gets to his feet to applaud, dizzy with excitement at seeing Biscuit-Bones in action once again..
Jonathan Agnew, TMS: "If you're here at lunchtime, do look out for the planned fly-past from a Lancaster bomber."
1145 BST - Eng 39-1: Collymore to Vaughan, and Skip stays cautious. From this distance at least there's no sign of the complicated combo of gaffer tape, string and brown paper keeping his fragile body together. Maiden over, and sunlight is bouncing off every available surface.
1140 BST - Eng 39-1: Hold onto your seats - here comes Michael Vaughan for his first Test match innings since some time in the early 1960s. Remarkably he makes it to the middle without any body part snapping, twisting or popping, and gets off the mark with a jab down to square leg.
1134 BST - WICKET - Strauss c Ramdin b Powell 15, Eng 38-1:
No-one was expecting that - Strauss rocks back, flashes and snicks into Ramdin's happy gloves. He's gone, and Powell has the breakthrough. He celebrates by running off with finger pointed in the air, and is chased to midwicket by his beaming team-mates.
From Dave Beech, TMS inbox: "I think Matthew Jones is being a little harsh on Robert Smith and his gloomy aspect. After all it is Friday, and he's in love. As for his position I suspect that a true Goth would field at 'what's the' point."
1132 BST - Eng 36-0: Powell sizzles one past Cook's nose, but then drops shorter and wider and is smashed away square for a delightful four. Cook moves to 18. England very much in charge. A gentle murmur around the ground as seats are taken and pre-lunch beverage options discussed.
1126 BST - Eng 31-0: Cook waits patiently for Corey's loose one and then tucks him off his pads for a relaxed three. I've assumed his Gotth look is a Cure thing - it could of course be a cheeky reference to Leeds-based favourites the Sisters of Mercy.
From Matthew Jones, TMS inbox: "I know that Robert Smith is a fan of ice hockey, but does anyone know if he is a fan of cricket? Any predictions what position he might play - perhaps a sombre role as the night-watchman?"
1122 BST - Eng 28-0: As four men in togas stroll to their seats, Strauss leans back to another wide one from Powell and cracks him past point for a meaty four. The patricians purr.
From James Greenwood, TMS inbox: "Speaking of Keira Knightly, I love her and would happily make her my wife on the strict proviso that she stops that really annoying pout she does when being photographed at premiers or awards ceremonies. But there's not much of that type of thing in Stalybridge, so my luck's in. Get your size zero jacket, love, you've pulled."
1119 BST - Eng 21-0: Cook tucks in to more loose stuff from Corey - three casual twos through midwicket, past third slip and straight, and then a scampered three to a punch past the bowler's toes. Easy.
1115 BST - Eng 12-0: Slappage from Strauss as Powell sprays wide of off, and that's four past gully. There's a wide down leg and another easy single as England settle in. There's a chance too that Cook's Cure tribute may be even greater than is yet apparent - maybe when he removes his lid we'll see a sudden springy emergence of an R. Smith bird's nest barnet special.
1110 BST - Eng 6-0: Corey Collymore from the other end, and that was about as relaxed as could be - like he was bowling against his kid brother in the back garden. Cook and Strauss jog comfy singles. Cook, as usual, has dark mascara-esque smudges under his eyes, as if he were paying understated homage to Robert Smith.
1104 BST - Eng 4-0: Whoosh - what a first over! Daren Powell almost has Strauss bagged first ball, but Daren Ganga's a touch too deep at short square leg and the England man's stiff-wristed jab falls short. Powell's next delivery rips across the leftie and misses his outside edge by the width of a propelling-pencil lead.
1055 BST: Righty - here come the umps. And, mere seconds later, the Windies team. As Skipper Sarwan takes them into the pre-match huddle, the creaky sounds of Jerusalem crackle out over the tannoy. Three people in the crowd sing along.
1050 BST: And now for the pitch: it looks flatter than Keira Knightley. And with even less bounce.
1040 BST: Now then - seeing that this is Leeds, a little meterological magic: the early clouds have legged it, and the sun is loosening up at the Kirkstall Lane End. The humidity is ticking along at 54%, which to those unfamiliar with such percentages is higher than the Gobi but lower than Mumbai.
1032 BST: Morning all - chat from the cauldron is that Michael Vaughan has won the toss and decided England will bat. And the Windies have lost Shiv Chanderpaul late on to a knee problem - Sylvester Joseph comes in.
"Only one word is needed for this Test - DRAW! If there wasn't a result last week with mostly good weather, the traditional bank holiday weekend dowpour will take care of it this week."
David, TMS inbox
"Are England running some sort of 'play for England at your home ground' competition? First Shah, now Sidebottom. Let's hope the England football team don't adopt this policy or we could see Ade Akinbiyi at Turf Moor tonight alongside Michael Owen" Chris Coyne, TMS inbox
1015: England team: Vaughan (capt), Strauss, Cook, Pietersen, Collingwood, Bell, Prior, Plunkett, Harmison, Panesar, Sidebottom.
0930: "Cloudy morning, mixed forecast, but it should be an interesting day's play"
Pat Murphy, BBC Five Live