WORLD CUP, GROUP A, ST KITTS: Scotland 136 all out lost to the Netherlands 140-2 by eight wickets
ACTION AS IT HAPPENED (ALL TIMES GMT)
24th over: Neth 140-2
There it is - Ryan ten Doeschate goes orange bananas against Majid, and it's all over in St Kitts. He finishes with 70 not out from 68 balls, Baz Zuiderent on 43 from 56, and Scotland have been hammered by eight wickets.
23rd over: Neth 126-2
Crackeroo - T-D goes to his fourth one-day half-century with three sumptuous biffs for four - two over midwicket and one square. Dougie Brown tries to give him some dagger-eyes, but no-one's convinced.
22nd over: Neth 114-2
BazZu opens those big shoulders and cracks Majid wide of mid-on for his sixth four. Singing now in the stands - from all nationalities.
21st over: Neth 108-2
BazZu to 37 with a well-timed flick through midwicket. 29 needed. Even I can work that required run-rate out.
20th over: Neth 104-2
T-D goes for 43 with another crashing cut off Majid. Decent crowd in now - lots of rum coolers going down, according to my insiders.
19th over: Neth 99-2
The stripey Dougie again, and just two singles and a leg-bye. 38 needed, 31 overs to go. Hmmm.
18th over: Neth 96-2
Majid Haq on for a twirl, and how BazZu wasn't lbw there I'll never know. Honestly. Umpire Hill - hello?
17th over: Neth 96-2
The blindingly-pasty Dougie Brown comes on and seems to have T-D bang in front - but Umps shakes his head, and the ball flies away for four byes. Actually, Dougie has caught the sun - in the way only a Scotsman can, in bright red patches.
16th over: Neth 76-2
Van der Vollop - T-D dances down to Rogers and belts him high onto the commentary box roof. And that's where the ball stays, lodged in the guttering. New ball please.
15th over: Neth 87-2
T-D slashes at Wright - or rather, Wright's delivery - and gets a fat edge over the vacant second slip area for four. Not hanging around, these boys.
14th over: Neth 69-2
Ten Doeschate hits spinner Rogers for four with the first ball of the over. That's all he needs - it's feet up for the rest of the over, if that isn't entirely the wrong phrase to use.
13th over: Neth 65-2
We're back after the break. Here's hoping Scotland had some man-sized portions of wicket pie for lunch. Skipper Wright continues with the ball, with four runs coming off the over.
12th over: Neth 61-2
Glenn Rogers comes on with his lofted twirlers, trying to tempt the Dutch pair into some pre-lunch madness. The don't bite. That's lunch - back in half an hour.
11th over: Neth 61-2
Better from El Capitan - Wright produces a maiden in the penultimate over before lunch. The smell of fried fish drifts across the ground. Mmmm.
10th over: Neth 61-2
Blain drops short again, and T-D flicks him through square leg for four again. Easy runs for the Netherlands, and there's zero pressure being put on them here.
9th over: Neth 55-2
Craig Wright brings himself on, and BazZu clouts him high over point for four. The run-rate required drops to just above two an over/ The current scoring rate? Just under seven...
8th over: Neth 49-2
Ten Doeschate eyes up Blain, and flicks him very fine for four. Just in case you're getting peckish, they're lunching here in about 15 minutes. Lobster all round, yeah?
7th over: Neth 45-2
Ryan ten Doeschate to face The Hoff as lunch approaches, and he sizzles a cut square for his first boundary. There's then a massive appeal for lbw, but Umpire De Silva's finger stays holstered.
6th over: WICKET - Szwarczynski ct Smith b Blain 12, Neth 32-2:
It's all happening in St Kitts - Szwazza plays an abomination on a shot against Blain, sends the ball straight up in the air and is bagged by 'keeper Smith. I don't mean to be rude, but that was rubbish.
5th over: Neth 32-1
Eric Szwarczynski to the crease, and he's obviously got a pedalo party to get to - he crunches two successive fours off The Hoff, one through cover and the other a scudder back past the stumps.
4th over: WICKET - Reekers ct Wright b Blain 9, Neth 18-1:
Hello - do we have a slight sniff of a game on here? Cunning slower one from Bouncing Blain, and Reekers spoons it high to skipper Wright at mid-off. A few more of those and this could get interesting...
3rd over: Neth 18-0:
Reekers leans into a fullish one from Hoffman and creams his straight for a delightful four.
2nd over: Neth 13-0:
John Blain to Baz Zuiderent, and BazZu flays two successive fours off the back foot through cover. Hmmm. Not quite what the doctor ordered for Scotland.
1st over: Neth 5-0:
Hoffman to begin the epic task of bowling Scotland to victory. Reekers waits for a loose one and tucks it square for a useful boundary.
35th over: WICKET - Hoffman ct Ten Doeschate b Van Bunge 7, Sco 136 all out
That's your lot - Hoffman skies a mighty mow, and T-D bags the steepler. Most amazing of all, Van Bungle has a wicket.
From Sion Harris, TMS inbox: "Is H Kooijman doing the Haarlem Shuffle? (Sorry)"
34th over: Sco 136-9
McSmash - Blain mows Kashif for a one-bounce four and then a six, high over wide long-on. Van Bungle then spills another catch, this time at short leg. He's like a semi-useful magnet - the ball keeps going to him, but not so well that it ever sticks.
33rd over: Sco 126-9
This could be interesting - Daan van Bungle's come on, and Haymaker Hoffman is looking to get busy. He swipes hugely at an innocent little leggie and is almost stumped - replays seem to show it was probably out, but you couldn't be absolutely certain. Not absolutely. Quite, but not absolutely.
From H Kooijman, TMS inbox: "The only one dancing here in Haarlem is me, but I'm dancing like a man possessed!"
32nd over: WICKET - Rogers ct Smits b Kaship 26, Sco 117-8
Scotland, I hereby apologise. Disgraceful display of mocker-placing there, and Rogers is the victim - slashing at a wide one from Kashif and getting a feather through to the 'keeper.
31st over: Sco 117-8
The partnership's up to 34 - spectacular stuff. Who knows where this can go?
30th over: Sco 112-8
Tidy from Kashif - just the single to Rogers. You could almost term this a recovery.
29th over: Sco 111-8
Ten Doeschate to Rogers, and two big flays into the covers yield two hand-stingers but just one run.
28th over: Sco 110-8
Kashif ties John Blain up - a cheeky little maiden.
27th over: Sco 110-8
Rogers is on fire - Ryan ten Doeschate comes on for a wobble, and Rogers puts him away for successive fours through gully. 22 off 13 balls for the Glennster.
From Peter Zantingh, Groningen, The Netherlands, TMS inbox: "No dancing yet here in Groningen, but I am having a great time watching the scorecard!"
26th over: Sco 99-8
They're nearly there - an edge for four from Rogers, just after slip spills a tricky chance, takes them close - and then Rogers spots a short one from Kashif and wallops him past midwicket for four more. Hold onto your seats.-
25th over: Sco 90-8
Glenn Rogers into the cauldron, and he biffs Jonkers through point for a crispy four. Can Scotland get the ton up?
From Niels Eernink, Rotterdam, TMS inbox: "Brilliant job the Netherlands! De Leede and van Troost are now in the league of elderly greats like Peter Shilton and Merlene Ottey. Unfortunately, their glory is confined only avoiding the wooden spoon. For the Netherlands, though, this could be a shiny day. I like the BBC commentary, although De Leede is properly pronounced: Duh Layduh."
24th over: WICKET - Wright st Smits b Kashif 1, Sco 83-8
Oh dear - skipper Wright charges Kashif and is stumped by two country miles. They'll be dancing in the streets of Groningen...
23rd over: WICKET - McCallum ct Stelling b Jonkman 24, Sco 83-7
McCallum slashes at an away-nibbler and Stelling takes a good catch at close-in gully. Jonkers goes bonkers.
22nd over: Sco 81-6
Mohammad Kashif into the attack, with skipper Craig Wright at the crease. Time for a quick single before Kaship drops short and McCallum cuts him meatily for four.
21st over: WICKET - Smith b Jonkman 19, Sco 77-6
No it ain't - Jonkman, wounded by my jibes, nibbles one back in and Smith gets an inside edge onto the top of his leg stump.
20th over: Sco 76-5
These Dutch change bowlers really aren't the best - McCallum drives a half-volley straight for four, and then crunches a short one square for another boundary. Is the tide turning?
19th over: Sco 65-5
Smith takes on Jonkman and clouts him high over mid-on for four. Forget what I said about Jonkman looking like a 16-year-old - he doesn't look a day over 12.
From Chris Bojke, York, TMS inbox: "I thought the double vowel 'ee' in Dutch was pronounced like an 'ay', so it¿s 'Layder' not 'Leeder' and sort of spoils your joke a bit."
Apologies, Chris - you're absolutely right. I blame my colleagues on BBC Radio Five Live - they've been "Der Leader"-ing it all day.
18th over: Sco 61-5
De Leede to McCallum, and the big man top-edges him for six over fine leg. That's got to be the shortest boundary in world cricket - you could spit over it from the batting crease, if you were that way inclined.
From Julian Scriven in Amsterdam, TMS inbox: "Just checked out of my office window - no sign of the Orange Army celebrating on the canals of Amsterdam yet."
17th over: Sco 54-5
The batsmen gets busy against new bowler Mark Jonkman, who looks about 16. McCallum comes down the pitch and smashes him through cover for four, and then Smith cuts him fine for another. Wallop. With the sun baking down, it's time for a beverage break.
16th over: Sco 45-5
Slower one from De Leede, and McCallum mows him over square leg for four.
From Martin Ellaby, TMS inbox: "How do you know how good McKeith would be against seam bowling? Have you seen her play?"
A fair point, Martin - I've never seen McKeith in action (pauses to shiver at horrific double-entendre; stomach-churning images continue to flash across mind).
15th over: Sco 41-5
Colin Smith joins McCallum. Where's Archie Gemmill when you need him?
From Paddy Fletcher, TMS inbox: "Bruce in Delhi - fear not, for Scotland are currently World Cup champions in elephant polo. In fact, we've won the last two elephant polo World Cups - which is the same number of cricket World Cups the West Indies have won."
14th over: WICKET - Watson ct & b De Leede 16, Sco 39-5
What a catch from Tim de Leede - it's his first over, Watto smashes him straight back and he somehow hangs on. That had to hurt - but the danger-man's gone. All together now: "He's De Leede, he's De Leede, he's De Leede of the gang..."
NB That obviously doesn't work if you're unaware that his name's pronounced "Der Leeder".
From Craig Weale, TMS inbox: "I'm reading! Only because I'm waiting for my sausages to cook, though."
13th over: Sco 38-4
The record's safe - McCallum slashes Stelling straight to Van Bunge at slip, and the hapless clown puts him down again. Van Bungle, more like.
From Bruce, TMS inbox: "I'm Scottish - stuck in a Delhi hotel and no telly. Probably just as well - when are we going to find a sport we can win at?"
12th over: Sco 31-4
Watson the key man here for Scotland - and he comes down the pitch to pull Reekers in front of midwicket for four, before cutting him square for another. If you've not seen the fella in action before, he's a big unit who likes a bit of bosh. Gillian McKeith might say he needs to lose a few pounds, but then again she's not exactly the best against seam bowling, so she can keep her beak shut.
11th over: Sco 21-4
Stelling to Ryan Watson, and it's a maiden. That's what you call pressure.
From Ricky Kane, TMS inbox: "I would like to apologize to Alex McCleish and the rest of the Scottish football team if I have jinxed you with my earlier comment."
10th over: Sco 21-4
Reekers to McCallum, and runs - albeit off the edge, just past second slip.
From JK Mol, Leiden, the Netherlands, TMS inbox: "Andy Lakeland: if you're anywhere near Leiden, you're invited to watch the World Cup at our 'pavillion', and even get a game or two this summer at Ajax."
9th over: Sco 19-4
Stelling's probably quite happy with his figures - he's currently got three wickets for six runs off his six overs. Just in case, the lowest score in World Cup history is Bangladesh's 35, made against Sri Lanka in 2003. 17 needed to beat that, six wickets in hand.
From Barry, TMS inbox: "In France, just taking a break from teaching the wife the perfect past tense for French verbs ending in 'ir'. In a difficult position really - my Dutch wife hates cricket and I detest the Scots. Everytime I cheer something the Dutch do well, my wife swears in Dutch about me wasting my day with cricket. Trilingual hell."
8th over: Sco 17-4
No wonder Gavin Hamilton wasn't happy with his dismissal - he got a big fat nick on that lbw. This game has got everything - except much of a crowd, but we'll worry about that later.
From Pete, TMS inbox: "Never fear - I'm reading, and I'm not even Scottish, let alone Dutch. Just bored at work."
Bored no more Pete, I'll wager.
7th over: WICKET Brown lbw b Stelling 0, Sco 15-4
Meaningless? Meaningless? Dougie Brown goes for a golden quacker, undone by Stelling's magical inswing. It must be going nuts in Amsterdam...
7th over: WICKET Hamilton lbw b Stelling 4, Sco 15-3
Gav goes - 11 runs in total in three matches. He's - hold on - there's another appeal...
6th over: Sco 15-2
Reekers is all heart - but to be fair, he looks knackered. Hang in there, Darron - sporting immortality awaits.
5th over: Sco 13-2
In comes Gavin Hamilton - average of 3.5 in this World Cup so far. Yet another plot line in this rich tale. And he's up to three already - a push for two and a quick single.
From Andy Lakeland, TMS inbox: "I live and work in Holland, but can't find one Cloggy who is following the World Cup - never mind one who knows the rules. They don't know what they're missing."
4th over: WICKET Majid b Reekers 6, Sco 9-2
There is simply not a moment's respite in this extraordinary contest - Reekers fires one straight through Majid's yawning gate, and Scotland are reeling.
3rd over: Sco 9-1
Carumba - Stelling moves one across the left-handed Majid and gets a huge nick - only for Van Bunge to spill an easy poucher at first slip. Still, it's not his worst moment of the World Cup - not after those six sixes off his over the other day...
2nd over: Sco 8-1
Majid Haq creams Darron Reekers through point for a ripper of a four. This game's got everything - wickets, boundaries, sunshine - I can't believe no-one's bothering to read this.
1st over: WICKET - Poonia ct Smits b Stelling 0, Sco 0-1
I told you it would be a thriller - and what a start! Worthy of another exclamation mark! Second ball of the match, Stelling moves one away off the seam and Poonia's on his dismal way.
1339 GMT: What do I know? We're now starting at 1350 GMT - official.
From Ricky Kane, TMS inbox: "Good luck boys - a win here will set us up nicely to cheer the football team on at Hampden on Saturday."
1329 GMT: The slightest of slight delays - a tiddler of a shower's come over, so the covers are on. And now they're coming off again. I'd say we'll start no more than 10 minutes late. Can you handle it?
1325 GMT: Scotland changes: captain Craig Wright is available again and comes in for pace bowler Dewald Nel. Opener Fraser Watts pulled up with a groin strain in the warm-up this morning, so Neil McCallum keeps his place.
1320 GMT: Bit of team news for you: Netherlands skipper Luuk van Troost has dropped himself, so Jeroen Smits has taken over as captain, with Mohammad Kashif coming in for a Cup debut. Alexei Kervezee has also been given the old heave-ho, with Eric Szwarczynski coming in.
1305 GMT: You might think this is a meaningless fixture - after all, both these teams are already out. To put it another way, neither can go through. But meaningless? Not on your nelly. This is massive.