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I'm sat having a cup of tea with friends and family and fighting for a world title on Friday
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On Friday night, just after 10pm, Michael Hunter will be having a "good old-fashioned tear-up" in Hartlepool city centre.
Him and quite a few other blokes I'll wager. Except Hunter will be armed with a couple of 8oz gloves rather than a quarter-pounder and a can of Skol.
The 28-year-old will be fighting Canada's Steve Molitor for the IBF super bantamweight crown at Borough Hall, although it all could have been rather different.
"I've had a rough background. I won't go into it too much, but I have been a bad lad," Hunter, undefeated in 27 fights, tells BBC Sport.
"The people I used to pal around with as a kid, they're in jail and mixed up with drugs and stuff like that. But I started going down the gym and it's helped us out a lot.
"I couldn't tell you where I'd be if it hadn't been for boxing. But you can work out yourselves that the boxing's done fantastic things."
In other words, a familiar tale of a fragile young man articulating himself through boxing. Abolitionists take note.
Hunter's rise has been spectacular, from peeling himself off the floor twice to wrest the British, Commonwealth and European belts from Newark's Esham Pickering last October to challenging for a world title a mere 12 months later.
He is little known beyond hardcore boxing fans, but is big news in Hartlepool, a town of approximately 90,000 people in the north east of England.
And when the first bell rings on Friday, Molitor, who has only fought outside North America twice before, will be treated to the Borough Hall hairdryer treatment, cranked all the way up to 11.
Molitor is Canada's brightest boxing hope
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"Hartlepool and the people of Hartlepool mean the world to me," says Hunter, who will appearing in the town's first ever bona fide world title fight.
"It's a small town, I feel like I know every person in it, and everyone you'll see in the venue is either a friend or family.
"I've got to do it for myself, but I'll win it for the crowd as well. I thrive on fighting in front of my friends and family."
The man Hunter must beat to join the fast-expanding band of British world champions is a slick southpaw from Toronto, widely-tipped to unify the 122lb division. Hunter is very much the underdog.
"I've watched him box a few times and the more I watch of him, the better he is," says Hunter. "He's very, very good in every department. I'm in for the fight of my life.
"I can't pick a fault with him when I watch the tapes - but will he be the same with Michael Hunter in his face?
"My motto is, 'just have a good, old-fashioned tear-up'. Saying that, I won two ABA (English amateur) titles being a boxer, so maybe in this fight you'll see a boxer instead of a brawler."
Hunter is kidding no-one. The unbeaten Molitor, with a modest eight knockouts from 22 fights, would love it if his opponent came over all fancy Dan with a world title at stake.
Plus, the 26-year-old Molitor has been out of the ring for more than a year so Hunter, who has fought three times already in 2006, could be rusty, especially in the early stages.
Trainer Neil Fannon, the man who spotted the teenage Hunter's potential and guided him from street corner to the verge of world title glory, will know exactly how to play it.
"I owe Neil every mortal thing I've achieved. Without him, I wouldn't even be boxing," says Hunter.
"I was a wild child, and if Neil hadn't come and knocked me up in the morning and made me run, I wouldn't be where I am now.
"Which is sat having a cup of tea with friends and family and fighting for a world title on Friday."