Bare-faced cheek

By Rob Bonnet BBC Sport

Streaking at Wimbledon? I just don't get it.

Sure, the streaking I can understand.... 15 seconds of fame in a discreetly directed wide shot and a 50 quid bet won from the lads to finance a bit more alcohol-fuelled bravado.

It's the knee-jerk compassion of the authorities I don't get.

All that scurrying around with a blanket to save the Middle English blushes of the Centre Court crowd....why not call the guy's bluff and leave him where he is for a while?

After all, the chilly English summer will invariably deal with the scale of the offence.

Once he's got the message that it's not big and it's not funny, my guess is that he'll sheepishly retire to the nearest dark corner and realise he's been made to look a prat by a combination of boredom and indifference.

A streaker is stopped in his tracks at Wimbledon

It's kind of funny for 30 seconds or so, but that's only because of the Keystone Cops' attempts to catch him - a circus act that always looks like pompous officialdom in pursuit of barefaced cheek, with the cheek always the winner.

Why not leave the poor unfortunate alone with his goose bumps and then, rather than leading him back to his mates, the clothes and the cash, simply show him the way to Gate 4.

And then get him to walk down Church Road and take the District Line back home stark naked?

It's not the nudity I've got a problem with - it's the deadly and predictable dullness of it all.

Now the Centre Court tennis impersonators, I can take. In fact I loved them.

Simple desire

That pit-pat knock-up when two guys came out of the crowd and showed us in an instant just how far behind we are from the Lleytons and the Tims had wit and imagination.

And it tapped into something inside all of us fans with much more meaning than the banality of a naked lurch over a tennis net.

It was a metaphor for one of the deepest wishes of the sports fan - the simple desire to play in the greatest stadiums and to feel part of a major event.

Maybe there was politics in it too?

The Centre Court isn't even ordinarily available to the All England Club members.

The impersonators' knock-up therefore said something to us about the exclusivity and remoteness of Wimbledon, a far more eloquent moment of exhibitionism therefore than streaking.

Karl Power made an appearance at Headingley last year

One of the players, remember, was the same guy who lined up for the Manchester United Champions League team photo and who also walked out to bat for England.

These little cameos say more serious things, of course, about stadium security, but they are otherwise harmless.

Streaking is harmless too, but boring. So please, no wobbly bits at Muirfield please.

But without wishing to be too subversive, what about knocking a little 20 yarder onto the 18th green during Tiger's match? Provided he's already marked his ball of course!