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Page last updated at 17:25 GMT, Thursday, 9 October 2008 18:25 UK

Off the Ball's Fatties XI

Bobby Williamson

"Get us a heavyweight manager!" cried the Ugandans. And they got "Blobby" Williamson. Bobby is our Fatties XI manager.

Andy Goram

One of Scotland's finest goalies, Andy Goram - the Flying Pig - filled his goals. Fat and with mullet - not a good combination.

Gary Bollan

The boy who wouldn't stop growing...outwards, Gary Bollan is a first pick for the Fatties XI.

John Clark

Big John Clark, or is it a fat Edwyn Collins? His thighs could kick-start a jumbo jet; his shots decapitated sweepers.

Charlie Miller

When Dundee United's Charlie Miller landed after this challenge, seismologists in Edinburgh feared the worst.

Andy Ritchie, Greenock's soccer hero

Andy Ritchie, Morton's Idle Idol, the Bellshill Bull, played outside-right and left-back to save him changing ends at half-time.

George O'Boyle

George O'Boyle was never the same after Rumble in the Jungle, but his grills are mighty good.

Scott McDonald

Celtic fans were aghast when Scott "McDonald's" returned for the new season with a marsupial-like belly.

Derek Johnstone

Our photo research skills have let us down. Derek Johnstone used to be fat as a player, didn't he? Remember?

John Hartson

Fatty Hartson should have played in a towelling romper suit, while sooking on a dummy.

Mixu Paatelainen's jersey

Mixu Paatelainen donates one of his old jerseys to the Hibs season ticket campaign.

Wee Joe Harper

As tall as he was broad, rumour has it that Aberdeen's Joe Harper gave Oxo the inspiration for their cubes.

Neil Lennon

Neil Lennon? Fatties XI? We wish we were as "fat" as the muscle-bound former Celtic star.

Mark Yardley

It almost defies physics. With thighs like redwoods, how can a guy as big as Mark Yardley get off the ground?

Barry Lavety

Barry Lavety could be described as "muscular", "sturdy", "robust" or just plain "fat". Take your pick.

see also
Off the Ball
11 Oct 10 |  TV and Radio
Off the Ball at Euro 2008
10 Jun 08 |  Scotland
Off the Ball's Dad's Army XI
07 Apr 08 |  Scotland
Off the Ball's Ugly XI
01 Feb 08 |  Scotland

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