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Last Updated: Monday, 20 November 2006, 11:15 GMT
Quotes of the week
'Stig of the dump'
Newell is no caveman

"For those of you who don't know me personally, and have labelled me as prehistoric, a caveman and a bigot, can I ask you this? Is having traditional values sexist? Values such as holding a door open for a woman, helping a mother off a train with a pushchair or up an escalator, worrying what time my daughter will be home and whether she is escorted, buying flowers and paying for dinner, etc. If all of these are sexist and prehistoric then I am guilty of them all."
Luton manager Mike Newell hits back with some "traditional" thoughts in the football sexism row.

"My wife runs the house much better than I could so I think she could be a linesman or a referee or even a football manager and that's the truth."
Plymouth boss Ian Holloway gives his views on the subject in his BBC column.

"I would be a liar if I said we were not pretty nervous on the day of the match. I was in my kit, hanging about in the corridor, when I saw the England inside-right [Eddie] Taylor, who wasn't very tall. I popped back into the dressing room and said to the others: 'Listen, we're going to be all right, they've got someone even smaller than me'."
Ferenc Puskas before Hungary demolished England 6-3 at Wembley in 1953. The Hungarian legend died last week aged 79.

"I don't think we've got a discipline problem. It's the players who are thick who are causing the problems."
Sheffield United manager Neil Warnock pulls no punches after his goalkeeper Paddy Kenny has his eyebrow bitten off in an after-hours brawl.

"I've been preparing the boys - I told the centre-halves to get ready with their tin helmets."
Portsmouth assistant Tony Adams prepares for the visit of "long-ball" Watford.

"I'm on first-name terms with about half the crowd!"
Grimsby defender John McDermott, 35, who played his 736th game for Grimsby against Wycombe on Saturday.

Balls on the pitch at Macclesfield
Multi-ball has yet to woo the fans at Macclesfield

"We were completely surprised. I was sitting behind the chairman and we were both rubbing our eyes. That's not what we wanted. Balls coming over the wall at Macclesfield."
Macclesfield Chief executive Patrick Nelson after their televised FA Cup tie with Walsall was interrupted by 36 footballs being thrown over the stand and on to the pitch.

"Once he strengthened up, you could do whatever you wanted on him. It was like driving a Ferrari rather than a Cortina."
Colin Brown who won 17 races on great grey Desert Orchid, who died last week.

"A journalist asked me if Steve Harmison is unable to play the first Test, would this take a bit of shine off the contest? As far as I am concerned I don't care if Tony Blair or Robbie Williams bowl me the first ball of the Ashes series - all my team-mates and I care about is winning back the Ashes."
Australia's opening batsman Justin Langer sounds more than ready in his BBC Sport column.

"The other day I was on the internet and I saw this piece about me being among the 55 players nominated for the European Player of the Year award. Next to my name there was a cartoon, with me in an orange shirt, falling on the grass. The piece said that I had been nominated for an Oscar, not for the Golden Ball but for the Golden Dive. Cartoons are supposed to make you smile, but this one hurt so much."
Chelsea's Arjen Robben finally realises what most fans think he is famous for.

"I watched some of the All Blacks' 47-3 win over France at the weekend but switched off the television because I started to panic."
Wales prop Adam Jones, who will face New Zealand on 25 November.

The traditional pre-match meal

"This is getting totally out of hand."
England manager Steve McClaren gets fed up with questions about Stuart Downing before the Holland match.

"I have not got accustomed to English life. The food is truly disastrous and it rains all the time."
Manchester United's French defender Patrice Evra is settling in well.


Commentator: "Did you ever have a lucky charm Graham?"
Graham Taylor: "Yes, my wife. But I never laid her on the touchline."
Graham Taylor commenting on the Man City game and Stuart Pearce's daughter's toy horse, which he had been placing on the touchline. (Vic Citrone, UK).

"In some respects I don't have any regrets. In other ways, I did blow 40m, lost my wife, everything I had and was made to start from scratch."
Mark Goldberg, now manager of non-league Bromley, on his time as Crystal Palace owner. (Scott Lindsell, Essex, UK).

Wayne Rooney
Hands up who missed a sitter

"There's only one person who knows how he missed that, and that's Wayne Rooney, and even he doesn't know."
George Graham after Rooney missed a sitter against Blackburn. (Bijan Yeylaghi, Bristol, England).

"Terrible marking, you don't mark open spaces. Open space has never scored a goal in a football match."
Steve McMahon commenting on William Gallas' goal from a corner against Liverpool. (Faiz Jehangiri, Pakistan).

"If we talk about the game for those people who didn't see the first half..."
Martin Keown, summarising Spurs v Reading on Radio Five Live. Erm none of us saw it, Martin, we were listening to the radio! (Steve, England).

"I have checked all my rule books and I can officially tell the listeners and Mr Lampard there is no rule that says you cannot tackle a Chelsea player."
Comment from BRMB commentator during Chelsea v Villa match. (Dobbin, England).

"Red Bull are going to be the dark horse next year."
Mark Webber being interviewed while promoting the 2007 Australian GP. (Mark H, Australia).

"We've given away eight chances and conceded five goals in the last four games. I think if we stop the other team creating chances, we shouldn't concede any."
Curtis Davies of West Brom - obviously a master tactician! (Andy Symes, Liverpool, UK).

"He had a seventh sense for soccer."
Nandor Hidegkuti on Puskas, so what was his sixth sense then?! (Jon, Hungary).

"Andy Johnson has been playing up front on his own with James Beattie all season."
Alan Shearer on the MOTD programme on Wednesday during half time against Holland. (Leigh Matthews, UK).

"When Manchester United and Chelsea meet in two weeks, somebody will probably drop points."
TV commentator at Man U-Blackburn game. (Doneill, USA)


"I'm going home in a St John's ambulance!"
Bolton fans at Bramall lane when an attractive St John's nurse walked past. (Eddie, Bolton).

"Chelsea Reject!"
Newcastle fans sing to Middlesbrough's former Chelsea player Robert Huth. But who is their captain? and their Irish winger - and who did they play for? (Mark Anderson, England).

Rod Stewart
Are you Cockerill in disguise?

"You're just a fat Rod Stewart."
Aimed at Woking Boss Glen Cockerill from Tranmere Rovers fans. (Tom, Wirral, England).

"World Cup - and you ****** it up!"
All four sides of the ground, including away fans, chanting at Graham Poll during Everton-Arsenal game. (James, England).

"You must have come on a skateboard!"
Nottingham Forest fans to Yeading's travelling contingent of around 60 supporters in Saturday's 5-0 FA Cup win. (Jack, United Kingdom).

"Is that all you score at home?"
Northwich Victoria fans to Brighton fans after the eighth goal had gone in. (Large Al, United Kingdom)

"What's that coming through your door? Is it a giro, is it a giro?"
A chant at the recent derby between Montrose and Arbroath.(Scott Cargill, Scotland).

"Lets all do the Wenger."
Arsenal fans against Everton in the Carling Cup, while they pushed each other singing the song. (Oli Shorts, United Kingdom).

"The wheels on your house go round and round."
Bromley fans to Gillingham fans. (Andrew, UK).

"Have you won the European Cup?"
Aston Villa fans to Chelsea fans in response to any Chelsea song. (Greg Burns, England).

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Holloway column
17 Nov 06 |  Fun and Games


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