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Last Updated: Monday, 23 January 2006, 10:47 GMT
Quotes of the week
Phil and Grant Mitchell from EastEnders
Don't mess with the Swindon lot

They've already been christened 'The Mitchell Brothers' in training, so that says a lot about them.
Swindon manager Iffy Onuora on his shaven-headed, combative central midfield pair Paul Smith and Andy Gurney.

Every defeat hurts. You might think it doesn't, but you ask my family, you ask the dog.
Steve McClaren reflecting on Middlesbrough's 7-0 mauling at Arsenal.

Every time I looked down, I saw a mouse. There were loads of them.
Burton defender Ryan Austin discovers some unwelcome visitors on the pitch at Old Trafford during the FA Cup third round replay.

Every single one of the players has been slapped around the head but they still keep coming back for more.
Sunderland boss Mick McCarthy pays tribute to his Sunderland players after they beat West Brom - only their second league win of the season.

Win bonus? What's that? Do we get them? We had one once. Hopefully we will get a little bit of something now.
Sunderland winger Liam Lawrence can't get used to that winning feeling.

Winning trophies has made me put on weight.
Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez claims he is not getting enough exercise in his day job.

John Prescott
Rafa wonders if he should have had that last pie

Mum's a Wednesday fan, but I think she's still talking to me!
Former Sheffield Wednesday striker Richard Cresswell, who grabbed a brace in Leeds' 3-0 win over his old club.

I urge all Colchester fans to go home, have a bottle of ice-cold beer, put on Ceefax and look at the League One table - and they should keep it on the screen!
Colchester boss Phil Parkinson after his side went to the top of the table with a 2-1 defeat of Port Vale.

Someone told me they chucked it back...and he dropped it!
Norwich boss Nigel Worthington on his goalkeeper Robert Green, who apparently threw his shirt to fans after letting in three goals at home to Watford - and promptly got it back.

Does it begin with W?
Derby manager Phil Brown when asked by a journalist what the referee's first name was after the 6-1 drubbing by Coventry. For the record, it was Graham (Salisbury).

I think my coach will watch and I'll be sleeping with my girlfriend.
Tennis star Marcos Baghdatis has the choice of watching his next opponent in the Australian Open or hitting the sack. Hmm, tough one.

Models in bikinis
Go Andy! Go Andy!

I have a bunch of half-naked women. He has a bunch of men. I know who I'd rather have dinner with me.
Andy Roddick believes his bikini-clad supporters will be more than a match for Baghdatis' fans.

There's no such thing as an open draw. Exept Roger Federer - I think every draw feels open for him!
Roddick on Roger.

If you guys expect me to play well every single match and every single tournament then it's not going to happen.
Andy Murray has a teenage strop.

I have thought about dropping an atomic bomb on Sydney but I wouldn't gain anything from it.
Jelena Dokic's father is a tad unhappy about his tennis star daughter's decision to leave Serbia and return to live in Australia.

Suddenly, I win the derby and people are talking about England again. It is absolutely pathetic.
Stuart Pearce - and there was us thinking he was too big to be a jockey.

CHANT OF THE WEEK
There's only one Bobby Robson.
Newcastle fans give Graeme Souness their full support.



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