Keano the musical

Note: Cross Roy off Xmas card list

The infamous World Cup bust-up between Roy Keane and Mick McCarthy has been made into a musical.

I, Keano is the story of a warrior sent to war on an island by an ancient federation (the Football Association of Ireland).

Unfortunately when he gets there, Keano discovers "the ground is too hard, the troops are partying, and the federation, led by the inebriated junketeer Ridiculus, has forgotten to bring daggers and tunics".

The musical, penned by Father Ted co-writer Arthur Mathews and Michael Nugent, bears more than a passing resemblance to events in Saipan in 2002, where the Republic had their World Cup training camp.

Then, Roy Keane had an almighty bust-up with Ireland manager Mick McCarthy about training facilities and flew home without kicking a ball in anger.

In I, Keano, the lead character and his fellow-warriors are led by General Macartacus (an earnest, stubborn character) and Packie Bonnerus, described as an "expert in using the net things that gladiators fight with".

Keano apparently finds himself "torn between the conflicting advice of the Scottish dolphin god Fergie and the tap-dancing wood nymph Dunphia".

Sounds like a winner.

I, Keano opens in Dublin's Olympia Theatre on Tuesday, February 8.