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Commonwealth Games 2002

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  Friday, 3 May, 2002, 15:55 GMT 16:55 UK
Mascots on the march
H'Angus could make a monkey out of Bush
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By Chris Charles
BBC Sport Online

The good people of Hartlepool awoke on Friday morning to discover their town was being run by a monkey.

The primate in question is H'Angus, mascot of the town's football club, who was voted in as mayor at the local elections.

His main manifesto pledge was free bananas for all children, although rival candidates clearly thought the decision was nuts.

Mind you, what do you expect from a town that once allegedly hanged a monkey for being a spy?

Cyril the Swan
Nice one, Cyril

H'Angus' elevation to office should come as no surprise, given the rise to prominence of the football mascot in recent years.

What began as a sideshow to take kids' minds off dreary games in the drizzle is now big business.

Mascots like Cyril the Swan are household names, with the giant bird receiving more column inches than the entire Swansea first XI.

Having said that, it's normally because he's ruffled someone's feathers - from ripping the head off Zampa the Lion to allegedly pushing someone at the Mascot Grand National.

Ah yes, the Mascot Grand National - where hordes of furry fools do battle against each other over a series of testing obstacles.


It won't be long before Aintree is a distant memory as the mascot revolution begins to take shape.

In future years you could have Fred the Red replacing Juan Sebastian Veron at half-time in the Champions League semi-final. Let's face it - he couldn't do any worse.

Stamford the Lion
Watch out, Ken!

And it won't stop there.

Don't be surprised to see Wolfie barking out orders from the side of the pitch as the new manager of Wolves, after the 21 previous incumbents have missed out on promotion.

And Stamford the Lion could prove to be a very popular choice if Ken Bates steps down as Chelsea chairman. In fact he'd be a popular choice if Bates didn't step down.

But why stop there? Once the mascots have tasted power, the next stop is surely world domination.

Can you imagine a muppet getting the job as American president?

Come to think of it...

See also:

03 May 02 |  UK Politics
Monkey mascot elected mayor
08 Nov 01 |  Funny Old Game
When mascots go bad
01 Oct 01 |  Funny Old Game
Freddie fix rocks mascot race
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