Barmy Army take on Aussie Fanatics

Forget the real Ashes, for the moment. One of the most entertaining battles of the series is between the rival sets of supporters - the Barmy Army and the Aussie Fanatics. But not just in the stands - out in the middle too. Newsbeat sports reporter David Garrido went to represent the Army in the 2nd Test of the Fans' Ashes at Regent's Park.

Barmy Army vs Aussie Fanatics

The day before England take on Australia proper at Lord's and it's chucking it down in north London. Typical. It's 3pm and a collection of guys of all shapes and sizes are huddling for cover under umbrellas or just simply letting themselves get wet.

Looks like it's gonna be a delayed start to our Twenty20 game - lucky we've got the barbie going and the beers flowing to keep everyone fed and watered.

But before anyone gets a chance to tuck in, the skies clear and suddenly we're on. The Barmy Army fielding first… a bit of friendly sledging as the Aussie Fanatics' openers take to the field… and then a rendition of "The Aussies love the English" which ends with a quick burst of the National Anthem and the words…"long to reign over YOU, God save YOUR Queen".

The banter is good, but what about the cricket?

The rain's reduced the game to 15 overs a side. Once we've got through the first five, the Army skipper decides it's time for a change. A certain D L Garrido is told to bowl his slow-ish medium-pace from one end.

'Not a good look'

Suffice to say, I haven't played in about 15 years, and in the warm-up, a bunch of 9-year-olds were tonking my deliveries around the park as if they were seeing the thing like a beach ball.

David tried 'a bit of chat' to unsettle the opposition

A couple of looseners in the first over - two no-balls, and a wide. The Aussies can't get a bat on it. Mainly because the ball is nowhere near the stumps. The rest were slogged for 4 or 6. Not a good look.

Second over - and I'm determined to make my mark. Facing me, an opposition batsmen who claimed he was 21 but in truth looked no older than 12.

My next delivery is a beamer of the worst quality ever - way over his head without bouncing, even almost took the wicket-keeper out. Hmmm.

Then a couple of huge hits as balls four and five are dispatched to the boundary. Oh dear. This isn't going well.

But then, a miraculous change. The 12-year-old is getting cocky, almost like a teenager, and starts dancing down the pitch to try and hit everything over the fence.

Celebratory wicket

Unfazed, I send down a full-ish delivery which strikes him on the toe as he tries to hoist me for another 6… I appeal "HOWZAT!" like Monty Panesar having had too many penny sweets. The umpire raises the finger, WICKET!! I wheel away in celebration.

Two balls left in my spell. In comes the next batsman, he's looking nervous, I'm feeling pumped.

Hat-trick ball - could it be…? I come steaming in, it's straight, it's full, it looks good… but it's played away and the dream is shattered David Garrido

The run-up is shorter this time and the ball is a touch down the leg-side, but he's tempted and glances it off his pads to the wicket-keeper, who takes it superbly - cue utter pandemonium, as I race around the outfield as if I'd won the Ashes myself.

This is unbelievable…two wickets in two balls…which means I'm on a hat-trick!

Last ball, another new batsman in. I give him a bit of chat to try and unsettle him, I tell my captain I want an aggressive field, and we're all set.

'Agonising defeat'

Hat-trick ball - could it be…? I come steaming in, it's straight, it's full, it looks good… but it's played away and the dream is shattered.

My work is done - I finish my stint with figures of 2 overs, no maidens, 2 wickets for 126 runs (well, it felt like that with all the no-balls and wides)

The Aussies declare with their score on 67… the Barmy Army can only make 64 - an agonising defeat by 3 runs. All because I'd been so rubbish to start off with. But anyway, as the Fanatics' captain Woz told us afterwards, it's not about the cricket, it's about the food, drink and banter.

Plenty of burgers and kebab skewers get wolfed down as it starts to rain again - probably best concentrate on the real deal at Lord's.

The 3rd Test of the Fans' Ashes takes place on Wednesday 29th July at the Tally Ho! Sports Ground in Birmingham. The series is tied at 1-1.