Life as a conscientious objector

Meredydd Evans knew from age 14 that he could not go to war

Dr Meredydd Evans had known from an early age he could never go to war. In 1939 he was asked to defend his beliefs as friends and family were called up to fight. He tells his story.

I registered as a conscientious objector a few months before the war broke out. I was 21 and there was a military necessity in the country and the first group to be called up were men between 20 and 22.

I was certain in my mind about how I would stand from when I was about 14 years old. If you were a relatively bright young person who was taking an interest in the world around you in the 1930s, it was impossible for you not to think about the possibility of war.

The two big topics we faced as young people in Blaenau Ffestiniog, and I'm sure all over the country, were the need for social justice and the question of war and peace.

I was a boy who'd been brought up in the chapel. The sermons and discussions I heard in Sunday school woke me up to those problems and also encouraged me to decide what I would do if war came.

Four or five local lads said they would stand as conscientious objectors, but in the end it was two of us who went to court.

I didn't stand, and would never have stood, on political grounds, but on religious.

My years at university weren't easy, especially mentally. I was very aware that my friends and brothers were fighting Meredydd Evans

Some did stand up politically. It was a policy of Plaid Cymru to remain neutral, like Ireland, but the authorities didn't recognise the right to object on those grounds.

My minister testified at the tribunal that I had been interested in joining the ministry since 1938. I had been accepted by then to go to Clwyd College in Rhyl, which prepared boys to be ministers and to sit the old Welsh matriculation to enter university. So the tribunal gave me an unconditional discharge and I was free to do as I pleased.

I went to Bangor University in 1941 and my years there weren't easy, especially mentally. I was very aware that my friends and brothers were fighting in the army.

You knew that some people did judge you for being free when their boys were out fighting, it was natural for them to feel like that. But I didn't have many bad things said or done to me by people who disagreed with my stand.

I made it clear in my tribunal that I was ready to do humanitarian work, but they didn't ask me to. A few of us at college also volunteered to work in canteens for soldiers overseas, but they didn't pick us.

When I was getting to grips with the question of whether I would serve in the army, I thought I would go to jail if I refused.

That's what happened in the case of most conscientious objectors during the First World War. You didn't know how the country was going to treat you in the 1930s, so you really had to prepare yourself and try and come to terms with the fact that to jail you would go.

Temptation

On many accounts, it's easier for you to stand up for your rights when you are suffering such an injustice. When you're free, there's no pressure on you and you don't have to constantly stand your ground.

As a member of a minority in society, you are going to be in danger of becoming self-righteous and just turning within your own group, thinking you're better than others, that they aren't keeping to your high standards. I know I was open to that temptation and succumbed a few times.

I never said my objections were absolute and had to always re-evaluate my beliefs. You have to strive to remain faithful to the situation as you see it, after you've tried to think about it as honestly and openly as you can.

There's nothing to fall back on in the end except for your judgement - to be a soldier or not to take part in war.

I maintain my Christian beliefs more than ever with these wars which occur today. The creation of the atomic bomb and weapons like that mean you wouldn't have a world war, but global destruction. There's nothing that could justify that.

I know there are people who believe in war as a way to sort out problems, that it's the best choice of a bad lot, and I respect their opinion. They have the right to believe it, but I can't agree.