Mental health - Getting help

Why it really is good to talk
By Andy Whysall

Louise Moore cut her arms and legs for 16 years

Louise Moore was raped at knifepoint when she was 16 by a man she knew well. Later he came to apologise and held her hands while he talked.

When he left, Louise set about cleaning her hands with a scrubbing brush.

She scrubbed until she took the skin off and she bled. The pain took away her thoughts about what had happened.

She found that pain and blood kept the traumatic memories at bay. She started to cut herself with razors.

'I think I need help'

Louise told nobody about the attack. Not the police, not her family. Her grandmother suspected something dreadful had happened but seemed to hope that Louise would open up about it one day. It took 16 years - to a stranger, and only after she had been caught cutting herself by her now-mother-in-law.

Louise married a man who was a reformed drug user and was in the care of the Cumbria Drug and Alcohol Service CADAS. He had a case worker who was told about Louise's grim obsession, and she referred Louise to the Self Injury Support Group in Carlisle.

It took me until nearly the end of September to actually ring them up and say 'Look, I think I need some help' Self-harmer Louise Moore

"She said 'Ring them, they'll be able to help you'. It became more aware to me what was I was doing, I really did need help. But it took me until nearly the end of September to actually ring them up and say 'Look, I think I need some help; is there any way I could speak to somebody?'"

In just a year since that phone call Louise's life has changed beyond recognition. Before she began her counselling at SIS she had been withdrawn and very quiet. "I wouldn't say boo to a goose," she said.

A secret life

She knew she had been leading two lives: the public one, married with children - although her first was physically and psychologically abusive; and the private one, locked in the bathroom breaking disposable razors to get at the blades so she could cut herself out of the "dark place" where she found herself all too often. It seems that getting caught was the best thing that happened to her.

It'stalking that has made such a difference to Louise's life: "It's changed my life completely, having somebody to be able to talk to about everything that went wrong in my life; the bad things that happened to me ... It was the first time I'd been alone in a small room with a man on my own since I was raped."

She acknowledged that the first two sessions weren't comfortable - apparently they rarely are: "It was 'How are you feeling - I'm OK'.......and 'It's a nice day today' and talk about the weather. Anything other than the problem. But my counsellor said 'We'll take it at your pace' and he talked to me as if we were having a normal conversation."

A year on Louise still reaches for the blade occasionally, but has been able to stop herself. She said she knows now that she has more to live for than that; she is better than her problem and knows it is an obsession to be beaten.

Acknowledge the problem

Louise's story is typical of many. A person with a mental health problem might not be reaching for a sharp object to harm him or herself, it might not be that physical. It might be as simple as knowing that they are not feeling quite right - sufficiently so to make them unable to function properly day-to-day.

Talking - the modern therapy Cognitive therapy is used more widely than ever It can help with problems like sleeping difficulties, relationship problems, drug and alcohol abuse or anxiety and depression One of its advantages is that it tends to be short, taking three to six months for most emotional problems The patient learns to modify the problem belief so that it is less extreme and less likely to get in the way of their life Cumbria's First Step service was set up in response to calls from GPs and service users for more access to therapies other than medication Around 100 people work on providing the First Step service in Cumbria

Depression and stress-related conditions are, after all, the most common mental health problem in the country.

The professionals acknowledge that we all feel a little down from time to time and most of us snap out of it, but when it affects day-to-day lives and continues to do so, that's the time to get help. But it is a question of acknowledging that something is not right and telling someone about it.

Biggest single problem

One in every four of us will suffer from mental health problems some time in their life. One child of school age in every ten will have a problem. The World Health Organisation reckons those statistics will increase. It says mental health is the biggest single health concern on the planet.

Around £80 million is spent each year in Cumbria dealing with mental health problems on all levels, with 12,000 patients being helped at any one time - and that means around one in every 42 of the county's population.

The message from the professionals is not to keep it to yourself. Stigma and discrimination might not entirely be things of the past, but there is much much less, and much more understanding than there has ever been.