This activity encourages students to think about the factors that help form friendships.

Learning aims

• Learn the main factors of friendships.

• Discuss these factors and learn from each other.

Ask the class:

• How far do you agree with the number of best friends stated in the report?

• What makes a good friend?

• Why do good friendships sometimes break down?

Main activity
Divide the class into groups and get them to try and agree an answer to the following questions:

1. What is friendship?

A mutual relationship with a person whom one knows, likes and trusts.

2. What are the most important rules in a friendship?

Social psychologists, Argyle and Henderson, studied this in 1984 and give the following rules they found all across the world:

• Share news
• Show emotional support
• Volunteer help in times of need
• Repay debts and favours
• Trust and confide in the other
• Stand up for the other in their absence
• Don't criticise in public
• Keep confidences
• Don't be jealous or critical of other friendships
• Respect each other's privacy

Social psychologists, Freud and Dann, gave the following reasons in 1951:

• Enjoy shared experiences
• We get positive feedback from mutual body language (smiling etc)
• Support in a crisis
• You learn more about yourself by comparing with friends

Extension activity
Ask students the question: "What causes friendships to break down?"

Social psychologists give the following reasons:

• One person moves away (reverses proximity and familiarity)
• Abuse of trust (deception)
• Boredom
• Life changes
• Conflict
• Lack of communication

Plenary
Recap on the main teaching points and hear students' responses to the question in the extension activity.

Teachers' Background

• When asked what makes your life meaningful, one of the most common answers is close friends.

• Male friendships tend to be less intense emotionally than female.

• Relationships are maintained in two ways: preventative care (doing things together) and repair (talking the problem over).

• Later-born children who must learn to negotiate with older, more powerful siblings tend to be more popular than first-borns (Hargreaves, 1967).