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Last Updated: Friday April 03 2009 10:40 GMT

How have you dealt with death?

Flowers outside Jade Goody's house in Essex

Bereavement and death have been in the news a fair bit recently.

TV star Jade Goody lost her battle with cancer, and Conservative politician David Cameron's son Ivan, who had cerebral palsy and epilepsy, died after a short illness.

Newsround's special programme, Gone, looks at ways four children deal with the death of a close relative.

So have you been affected by death? And if so, what did you do to help you deal with it?

Did talking about it help? Did you speak to any charities or other organisations? Do you have any tips that could help other children?

Unfortunately this topic is now closed but there are Comments pages on other subjects on the main Chat index.

Your comments

"It's really hard when someone who is so close dies. One of my uncles died and I just think of all the good times we have had!!"

Leona, 10, Cornwall, England

"I haven't had anyone close to me die! All my grandparents are living but now some are quite weak! When someone really famous dies, it's really sad! For some, funerals help but for others it makes the problem worse! I understand though that death can affect everyone's emotions - but they may have gone to a better place!!"

Faeqa, 11, London, England

"It's always upsetting when you first hear a member of your family has died. But after a few days you feel OK. You don't just forget about the person who has died, you just accept the fact that they are dead."

Richard, 10, Kent, England

"I think the programme was very good as it would help people who haven't lost anyone. It also comforted me as I lost my great great aunt and uncle about three or four years ago and I also lost a dog I walked last year. It really helped me."

Chelsie, 13, Somerset, England

"When someone does die you can be in shock for ages, but then you realise it is not the end of the world and it's best to just carry on as normal as possible."

Rosalind, 13, Aberdeenshire, England

"My granddad died last August and it was hard to accept that such a brilliant man was dead. I tried to think happy thoughts and not dwell on it too much, and that helped."

Gemma, 12, UK

"I think Gone was very helpful for people who have dealt with death and it helped us to know what to expect and what to think of when it happens to family."

Calum, 12, Buckinghamshire, England

"On my eleventh birthday we found out my Grandma had died of old age. This was quite a shock as she was a healthy and happy person. We tried to carry on without talking about it for the rest of the day because it was my birthday. Going to the funeral really helped me as I could say goodbye and talk to family and friends about happy memories."

Georgina, 11, Wiltshire, England

"I thought Gone was a very helpful programme for people who have dealt with death."

Amreen, 11, Kent, England

"I think the programme was very helpful because I've got a friend whose mum has died, so now I know how she feels."

Kerri, 13, Nottingham, England

"I lost my best friend in a car accident just two weeks ago. Most of my class at school were at the funeral. I really liked your programme, Gone, because it helped me cheer up and remember all the happy times I had with her."

Erin, 12, Ireland

"My Grandma died of cancer when I was five. It took me at least two years to accept that she was dead. I would say that you shouldn't forget the death or ignore it but you should continue with your life."

Emily, 12, California, USA

"I lost my Gran in October 2007 to cancer, she had had it for quite a while, and I knew she would die sooner or later. But when it happened I couldn't actually believe it, and I cried for ages."

Madi, 12, Hampshire, England

"My Granddad is in hospital and I feel so sad because he has had a heart attack but I hope he doesn't die. I also feel very sad for my Nana because she has been with him for more than sixty years!"

Megan, 10, Lancashire, England

"Eight weeks tomorrow my cat passed away, I was so upset. I knew he was going to pass away because he had a stroke and couldn't use his back leg, he was really going down hill. I still get really upset about it but when I do, I think happy things about his life. He will always be my best friend."

Ellie, 12, Essex, England

"I have never had to deal with death. However, I feel that if I did, I would try not to focus on the bad things in life i.e. the death of the person you loved, and try to focus on the positive things, like the fact you still have family around you. So that's my advice. Try to follow it!!"

Maya, 11, East Sussex, England

"My Dad's parents died even before my sister and I were born and my Mum and Dad got married. I don't really cry about it and I wish that I had met before they died. But my two other grandparents are with me and they make me happy!"

Sindurii, 11, Oxfordshire, England

"My great Granddad died three days before my nephew was born. It was a hard thing to deal with because I helped him feed the birds, garden and we always made cards together but I felt better when I talked to my Mum, Dad and teachers at school. My tip is if you feel upset about a death even if it's an animal always talk to someone friends, family and teachers."

Lily, 12, England

"I got a rabbit on the 16th July 2008 and he died on the 16th November 2008. I was distraught and I am still get upset now. He was my best friend."

Lucy, 9, London, England

"I knew a girl who died when I was in Year 4, she left the school when I was in Year 2 but I remember her, when we played together."

Joseph, 9, Surrey, England

"No-one in my family has died but Gone helped me to cope with my best friend who moved to France."

Rosa, 10, Essex, England

"It is sad when somebody dies, I know because my great Grandpa died."

Caitlin, 9, Voorburg, Holland

"My Nan died on 1st April 2007 and I dealt with it by talking to my friends about it. They always help me through it and I have pictures of her which I look at and listen to her funeral song. Sometimes I do cry but that doesn't matter because that's life and it's a normal reaction."

Monica, 11, West Sussex, England

"My Dad died two years ago in a motorbike accident it was horrible but he wouldn't want me to be sad. Eight months later my brother-in-law died so that made everything worse. But I am getting on with life because they wouldn't want me to be sad. Also keep your family as close as possible they really help through times like that."

Hannah, 14, Essex, England

"My Auntie, my Mum's sister died of septicaemia (blood poisoning) on August 29th 2007. This was because she stepped on broken glass due to her being blind, and she couldn't see where she was going."

Mohsin, 13, Bradford, England

"I haven't lost anyone close to me so I don't know what it feels like to lose someone that you love. I will find out soon because my great Nan is very unwell."

Daniel, 13, Warwickshire, England

"My Uncle John died in 2004 and it makes me cry to think about him because we didn't get to spend a lot of time together. What makes me sad is I can't really remember the times when he was well, but it makes what I can remember more special for me. I wish I could have gone to the funeral but my Mum refused to let me go, which didn't help me. I really had to deal with his death on my own because my Mum and Dad thought I didn't understand any of it even though I did. Last year there was a counselling group at school and it was then that I realised I had bottled it all up and all the tears and sadness came out."

Elizabeth, 14, Cardiff, Wales

"No one has died in my family yet but I still watched Gone, it was a good programme and I would recommend it to people whose relatives have died to watch it."

Jennifer, 12, Norfolk, England

"My tortoise died a few weeks ago, I will remember all the good times we had but I always miss him."

Alexandria, 10, London, England

"My granddad died before I was born. It's awful because I never got to know him and I found out that he was really cool and well respected. I wish I had met him..."

Mary-Jane, 13, Leeds, England

"I miss my granddad. He died when I was 10. I will never forget him."

Emily, 11, London, England

"My best friend died around Christmas last year. I was so upset and I didn't think it was real. Life is boring without her."

Kate, 12, England

"Death is a very hard thing to deal with. When it happens you feel alone and nobody can understand what you are going through. When my granddad died I felt like this. The best thing you can do is to talk to someone you can trust. Let it all out. It is natural to cry when a loved one has gone so don't worry."

Megan, 11, Scotland

"My nana died yesterday and I found out this morning. I was upset and my sister, well, she was distraught. We will be going to her funeral on Thursday to say goodbye."

Adam, 11, Dorset, England

"Both my great-granddads died when I was only three so I didn't really understand back then. Now, when I look back at video tapes, I wish I had been older and had got to know them. All of my grandparents are alive and quite young. My great-granny is also alive and well."

Aisling, 11, Ireland

"I lost my nanny not long ago and it's really hard to think that she isn't here to see how much we are improving at school and at home, and how much we have grown. I really miss her. My mum had a baby just after my nan died, so she doesn't even know her. It's really hard and every now and again I cry."

Jodie, 13, Norfolk, England

"When my brother passed away, the most difficult thing was watching my mum and dad everyday being so upset. I suppose none of us have really got over it, because even today when we think about it and talk about it everyone will get upset in my whole family."

Rukhsar, 15, West Yorkshire, England

"My brother died on the 27th January 2008. When someone dies it gives you a horrible feeling that they have left you forever. It just feels like you want to go and hide forever as far away as possible. My friends want to talk to me about it but I always ask them to imagine if they had lost someone close. My top tip is just don't be ashamed to let other people see you crying."

Oliver, 9, Hampshire, England

"I lost my great-grandma to old age, my teacher to a car accident, my auntie to breast cancer and my friend to a stomach infection. I say if this happens to you then see a counsellor like I did. They will help you get your life back on track."

Amy, 13, Kent, England

"My dad died of a heart attack. It was horrendous."

Lindsey, 14, California, USA

"This past Christmas my great-nan died at the age of 101. I went to the funeral and was very upset. But it came to me that deaths are not all bad because I know that when someone dies at that age, you have to celebrate their life."

Stephan, 13, Surrey, England

"I had a cat called Molly, she was my best friend but she died last year. To make me feel better, Mum decided to get me another one. I called it Molly the second in memory of Molly. It took a long time for me to get over her death she was so special."

Abby, 12, Shropshire, England

"I thought the programme Gone was brilliant. My granddad died just after my fifth birthday but I was lucky because less than a year later, my brother was born and he is very like my granddad. So in our house, it's as if my granddad didn't pass away."

Roisin, 9, Cardiff, Wales

"Death is really hard and some people take longer than others to grieve, some deal with it in all different ways and you've got to respect them. When somebody dies it's a very hard time for them."

Georgina, 13, Sheffield, England

"Death is a painful word, my granddad died on 29 August and I was really upset by it. I'm really scared about my other grandpa because he's in his 90s and he hasn't got long left."

Beverly, 11, London, England

"When my dog was put down I felt very sad and gloomy."

Hager, 10, London, England

"Well to tell the truth I have never coped with death because it hasn't happened with me yet. But when it happens to someone I know I will be really very sad but I think Newsround are doing the right thing by telling children how to cope with death."

Lisa, 9, East Dunbartonshire, Scotland

"When my fish Sammy died I was only three years old, I cried but I'm a Christian and I believed, and I still do, that he is swimming around in Heaven waiting for me. When my grandma's dog, Cheeky, died it was the same. But because I was a bit older then I wrote a poem about her and it won a competition."

Jordan, 12, Newcastle, England

"My one-year-old brother died from a major heart problem. The doctors did the best they could. But when my dad told us he had died, I was in shock. I actually knew he was going die soon because he was in so much pain. But I am glad he's in peace now."

Anisa, 12, USA

"I found that when my aunt died, it was really hard to cope with, because everybody in the family would bring up the subject of it. I went to counselling and it really helped to talk things through."

Eliie, 13, Kent, England

"I have had no one that I know die. I consider myself a very lucky girl."

Katie, 9, York, England

"No one has died yet but I am very worried because I am very close to my gran and granddad."

Hannah, 12, Carlisle, England

"My nan died because she was ill. I was upset about it and it was also the same day that my sister was born."

Amy, 11, Milton Keynes, England

"I just cry my eyes out until I'm done. And if you let it all out in a rush, you will eventually find that you cannot cry any more. But I take a moment every month to reflect on the person that has died, and if tears come back then that is absolutely fine."

Alice, 12, Essex, England

"I found it very hard when my cat, Midnight, died after an accident on the road. It was devastating."

Becky, 9, London, England

"My dad died nearly four years ago, and I still haven't got over it. I just can't believe he's dead."

Freya, 12, Kent, England

"When someone you know dies and you become sad, remind yourself that the person that died wouldn't want you to feel sad."

Suhayb, 11, London, England

"When I was not even born my granddad dies but the awful thing I never got to meet him."

Daniella, 11, Bristol, England

"Both of my grandpas died before I was born, and my grandma died when I was really little, and it sometimes makes me sad because I never got to know her, and I always wonder what it's like to have a grandpa."

Rae, 13, Rome, Italy

"The way I deal with death is that I think of all the happy times I spent with the lost one."

Rachel, 12, Dorset, England

"When I was in Year 1 at school, one of my friends died from a brain tumour. We have a special day for her every year, but it will never be the same without her."

April, 11, Dorset, England

"My gran died about four years ago. I was seven/eight at the time. The only way I dealt with her death was by going to the funeral and thinking of the happy and exciting things I did with her and then I cried when I went to bed to let my sadness and emotions out!!"

Laura, 12, Ireland

"I knew someone who lost their mum to breast cancer. He said his mum was coming back, but he soon accepted that she wasn't coming back."

Katie, 11, Worcestershire, England

"Death is a terrible thing, but the person who died wouldn't want you to be sad for the rest of your life."

Molly, 10, Dorset, England

"I lost my nan a year ago. It was difficult but I wanted to stay strong for my family but mostly for my granddad. When I was alone I would sit and think of her sometimes I would even shed a tear. I stayed strong and it got easier."

Kerry, 12, Plymouth, England

"I feel sad but I think when you die you come back as another person or an animal so it's not too bad."

Stella, 10, Glasgow, Scotland

"It's always sad to lose someone important in your family. I have lost people in my family which I have never met but the best thing is I haven't lost my family who I live with."

Louisanne, 11, Essex, England

"I don't have grandparents anymore but I never knew them, so I don't really get that sad about it. My uncle died in a motorbike accident on his way to work when I was six, but I'd only seen him once, when I was a baby, and I didn't understand, so I wasn't really that sad either. My advice to people who have lost close relatives would be to remember all the happy times you had with them, and keep saying in your head that they are happy and in a better place."

Lauren, 11, Wales

"Death is not something to fear. Yes it is hard to cope with but we can't fear a thing that is inevitable. We cannot control it but it is just best to deal with it when it comes and talk to people as that helps too."

Poppy, 13, London, England

"My nanny died in August, just before I started high school. The worst of it was, her sister and brother-in-law had both died that year. The only good thing that came out of her death is my being closer with my cousins. I hope everyone with a death can get help and support."

Kirsten, 12, Northern Ireland

"When my friend's brother died she took up swimming and even now when she is upset she swims. When my granny died six years ago, I was devastated as we were with her. Remembering someone who died isn't bad but always try and think of the good not the bad. Music and books that remind you of them can also be useful. Nothing can ever replace them but you can learn to be with out them."

Debbie, 13, Hampshire, England

"It's so hard to get over death, I don't think anyone ever does."

Olivia, 12, Hull, England

"My great-grandma died last year and I found it hard to cope with, until my friend recommended counselling, which helped loads. It's hard to cope with death, and I think Newsround are doing the right thing to help children understand these things. It took me five months to accept that my great-grandma was gone and could never come back."

Cheyanne, 13, Bristol, England

"My mum died when I was six and I couldn't believe she was gone until a year later, after a teacher helped us remember her. My advice is to forget about death and get on with your life. If you think it will help, don't tell your new friends so that your life stays normal."

Bethany, 12, Bournemouth, England

"Last summer, in the space of two days, my nana and granddad died. I was extremely upset - but sort of happy that they were together and neither of them would have to grieve for the other."

Beth, 12, England

"I can't always deal with death. It's a very hard thing to get over."

Bridget, 11, Staffordshire, England

"It is really hard to get over. It takes a while to realise what has happened because it's such a shock."

Anisah, 10, Edinburgh, Scotland

"My Mum died when I was only eight years old. It was harder for me because I had an older brother and my Dad - so I was the only girl. I never talked to my Dad. Luckily my teachers and friends knew, so if I was upset I would go to them. I even had 'talk time' with my female teacher and we talked about anything! She understood and it was so easy to talk to her. I did feel upset at home - I would normally curl up in my bed and look at all Mum's stuff. Because I never talked to my Dad about this I got over it slowly."

Jess, 12, Oxford, England

"I always felt sad when a member of my family died. First, it was my Great-Grandpa, then my Great-Grandma and lastly my Grandpa. I cried heaps but I was also glad they weren't in pain anymore. I think people still live inside you if they are remembered by other people."

Lucie, 11, London, England

"Death takes a long time to come to terms with. It is something that is so devastating that it feels like you will never be the same again. But you will, it just takes time and remembrance."

Rosa, 13, Hampshire, England

"When people in my family died I didn't talk to anyone about it. Instead, I just kept my feelings bottled up. If I could I would have talked to someone about it, but I found it hard talking to my parents. Death is a really horrible thing."

Jasmine, 13, UK

"It's really hard to get over once you've lost them."

Vicky, 11, London, England

"I think it is hard to get over a death because you have lost something you really love."

Lauren, 11, Liverpool, England

"I got over but it did take a long while and if anybody mentions it, it makes me so sad I sometimes cry. It took me three years to get over death and it is extremely hard."

Chloe, 9, Leicestershire, England

"I don't deal with death very well. My friend died about nine months ago. My Great-Uncle died last week. And my Grandma, who I'm VERY close too, hasn't got very long left. When my friend died I never told anyone how I was feeling. But I've learnt to share my feelings since my Great-Uncle died."

Ray, 12, Birmingham, England

"Three years ago, my Granddad died from cancer. I was really upset and although I didn't see him often he meant a lot to me. My friends were really kind, and my school was very supportive and comforting."

Ceara, 12, London, England

"A very close friend of mine died from cancer in January. It is his birthday in a week. At the time, some people threw nasty comments at me because I didn't want to play - but my friends helped me through."

Lili, 12, Kent, England

"I've dealt with death before and it was terrible. It was my Granddad who I never knew. I was too shy to meet him. He died a couple of years ago in Bangladesh and I feel so guilty because I never visited him."

Nahida, 11, London, England

"My Dad died when I was very young and it was very hard for me to even understand death."

Matthew, 9, Northampton, England

"I lost both my Grandparents in the space of three weeks. It was hard at first but it got easier after a while. I found reading and listening to music a good way to make me feel better. Talking about how happy their lives had been at the funeral was a big help too."

Bethan, 14, Gloucestershire, England

"My Granddad died about four years ago the night before my birthday. Now when it's my birthday I always feel upset."

Sarah, 13, Sheffield, England

"It's horrible death, even if someone famous dies, for example Jade Goody and Mark Speight. It's very heart-breaking."

Laura, 11, Northants, England

"My Granddad died five years ago and my Nan died two years ago. It was quite strange for me because I never really knew them that well, I wish I had. I hate death, I wish it never existed!"

Hanna, 11, Plymouth, England

"My Great-Grandma died a few weeks ago and I was devastated, even though she couldn't hear, was blind and I didn't really know her that well, I still miss her. My mum went to her funeral and I could see that she was upset and I knew my Grandma would be crying her eyes out. But she had to die soon because she is 101 and she was going to be 102 this year, but at least she is at peace now."

Alice, 11, England

"I talked with my friends . I wouldn't have got through it without them. I found it harder to talk to my Dad than my Mum."

Emily, 11, England

"Just last month a boy in my class died. It was very sad and made life really tough, but in school we made a memory book and had a special day for him. Slowly the pain of his death is easing."

Meabh, 12, Dublin, Ireland

"Someone in my family died three years ago. All I ever do if I find things that were hers or that she gave me is to just cry and I really miss her loads. I just wish that she was here with me and all my family!"

Charlie, 12, Staffordshire, England

"My Mum died in a car accident when I was eight. I cried a lot, but my friends got me through it. My brothers had a hard time, so did Dad. My three brothers and I went to a counsellor, but it was mainly my friends who helped me."

Abbie, 13, Sheffield, England

"It is so so hard to get over death."

Sophie, 11, Lincolnshire, England

"A few years ago my best friend died from cancer and a few years before that my Grandma died from a botched operation. I think death always hits me hardest because I never give up hope until it's too late. I find it hard to cry and it just wells up inside of me. I was depressed for ages but I feel now like I have more hope in the world."

Alice, 13, Devon, England