Here's some old jokes:
1. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side
2. Why is the sky so high?
So the birds don't bump their heads
3. What did one traffic light say to the other traffic light?
Don't look at me, I'm changing
4. Why don't polar bears eat penguins?
Because they can't get the wrappers off
5. What is the difference between a fireman and a soldier?
You can't dip a fireman in your egg
6. What do you call a dog without legs?
Anything you like. It won't run after you
7. Patient: doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge.
Doctor: what came over you?
Patient: two cars and a bus
8. What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper
9. Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don't work
10. What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
11. A man walked into a hospital and said: "Doctor, doctor, I've grown curtains."
The doctor said: "Calm down man and pull yourself together."
12. Why can't a car play football?
Because it has only got one boot
13. What's white and swings through the jungle?
14. Why wasn't Cinderella allowed to be in the soccer team?
Because she runs away from the ball
15. Why did the boy take the pen and paper to bed?
So that he could draw the curtain
16. What does the secretary do to old nails?
17. Why don't aliens starve in space?
Because they can find mars, a milky way and a galaxy
18. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
I've no idea...