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  Do you think talking stops bullying?
Updated 31 October 2003, 18.47
Bullying
More and more schools are trying to find different ways of stamping out the problem.

Pupils at a school in Leicester have got involved in a scheme to put a stop to bullying.

Some children are trained as 'mediators' and get kids who are being bullied and the bullies together to talk and eventually become friends again.

Does your school do this?

Do you think it would help people who are being bullied?

Would you like to become a mediator?

Unfortunately this topic is now closed but there are Comments pages on other subjects on the main Chat index.

opening quoteSometimes it helps, it just depends on the person. Most of the time it just gets the bully more steamed up, but if it makes you feel better, then talk to someone you trust.closing quote
Ally, 14, Stevenage

opening quoteI hate bullies, but sometimes it hard not to be one yourself. Just a little tease here and there can badly damage someone, so I always have to keep myself in check when I'm feeling nasty. It's good to talk to everyone and let them know that your in a bad mood, so if you do let a mean comment slip, hopefully they'll forgive you. I always hate myself afterwards though. But talking about it does help, unless the person is a stubborn brat.closing quote
Alex, 15, Australia

opening quoteNo talking about bullying doesn't do anything, you have to go out there and do something about it. If all your going to do is sit and talk, what is there to say that the bullying won't start up again? Action has to be taken the minute you know you're being bullied or someone you know is being bullied. You have to stop these bullies before it's too late!closing quote
Charlotte, 15, Gants Hill

opening quoteMediation might cause the bullies to stop doin it, but the school is passing the buck, it should be sorting the problem itself, not relying on studentsclosing quote
Jonathan, 13, Leeds

opening quoteMy old middle school had a system like this and it didn't work one bit. There wasn't even one occasion that the bully stopped, or even became friendly. I was the victim of a bully but also a 'councillor' we talked to both victim and bully, made them speak to each other and tried to sort out the problem. It only made it worse. I personally think the system is a waste of time from my own experience.closing quote
Kristina, 14, Bury St. Edmunds

opening quoteI think it's stupid to think that bullies are superficial. They aren't just trying to hurt someone, no one's that cruel. I believe that if someone bullies there is something wrong with themselves or their lives, they're just using the person they're bullying as an outlet but they don't realise how much it hurts. The best thing for the person being bullied is to be protected in some way, and learn to get over it and not get bitter. People have to live outside the bubble!closing quote
Kes, 15, Bristol

opening quoteI think it would help a little, but not much. The bully would sit down and talk so they won't cause a fuss, but when the mediator has gone they either forget most of it or they'll bully more because they don't like being told what to do.closing quote
Hazel, 12, Cambridge

opening quoteBullies are clever and manipulative. If the situation isn't handled sympathetically the victim starts to think that they are the ones with the problem. How about targeting the bullies? Everyone knows who they are. I know about this because it has happened to me. I felt even more helpless when there was suddenly an "anti-bullying policy"closing quote
Charli, 13, Glasgow

opening quoteI don't think that talking can always help to resolve bullying problems; in my old school I wasn't bullied, but now in Secondary school, everyone is much more critical and self aware. Primary school children are less self-conscious, whereas teenagers feel more aware of others, and are therefore embarrassed by talking to someone else , in most cases.closing quote
Josie, 15, Staffordshire

opening quoteSome bullies just cannot be stopped. If this is the case then get a heavy gang on them. Parental permission or not, bullies are cowards.closing quote
Elycia, 12, Stevenage

opening quoteI think that it is perfect in primary schools but in secondary schools it is much harder to do and the person might then bully you for going there in the first place!closing quote
Craig, 13, Newton Abbot

opening quoteI don't think this would work. Bullies need to talk to a councillor, not the person they are bullying, after all they are the ones with the real problem.closing quote
Fiona, 13, Newquay

opening quoteAt my old school I used to be a prefect and I encountered a lot of bullying. I found that the best way to stop bullying was to split the bullies up. When they had no one to show off to they just stoped.closing quote
Emily, 12, Ashbourne

opening quoteTalking to people about being bullied can help, but depending on who you talk to. I was bullied when I was at primary school but I didn't tell anyone because I didn't know which teachers to talk to about it. At school, we didn't get told much about being bullied and who we could talk too.closing quote
Elizabeth, 13, Bristol

opening quoteI think it will work in most cases. It won't make the victim and the bully best buds but could calm things down. If it works in the majority of cases I think that it should be introduced to all schools.closing quote
Hannah, 13, Swindon

opening quoteMost adults think talking will sort out the relationship between the kids, but as sad as it is, in the real world it's "once a bully always a bully". But I think and wish they would listen to a good talking.closing quote
Kristina, 11, St Jeo

opening quoteIt depends on the situation. If it's just two friends who have fallen out then it will probably work, but if somebody is really being bullied, like they get beaten up, then it might make it worse. closing quote
Mika, 15, London

opening quoteI think that bullying should be stopped. There is this girl in my class (she was in my primary school too) and all she did was cause trouble. In primary school no one liked her and she had no friends and everyone used to be really horrible to her. So I decided to try to make friends with her. In the end she betrayed me and nearly got 2 of my close mates expelled. Now that we're in secondary school she's in my form. Now that she has friends there she tries to bully me. But she doesn't try to hard because she's quite scared of me. So I say that some people just have to be delt with by bullying until they can understand. I don't do anything bad to her all I do is ignore her and pretend she doesn't exsist but she never ever stops trying to get bak at me.closing quote
Nayema, 12, London

opening quoteI think talking about bullying will help in younger schools but in older and bigger schools the bullying can be too much for a child to sort out. In large schools it would be hard to find out who is causing the bullying and if there were lots of children it would be hard to get them all together and work something out.closing quote
Jacqueline, 13, Totnes

opening quoteI think it's a good idea to talk to a mediator. I think we are more likely to listen to each other than a grown-up.closing quote
Daniel, 12, Bushey

opening quoteI used to be a mediator in my old school because there was a lot of bullying. I found it helped a lot in helping kids stop fighting verbally and physically. All and all I think it is a brilliant idea.closing quote
Anisa, 12, Wolverhampton

opening quoteWhen people in my classes say horrible things to me I stare at the door and imagine being anywhere else apart from in that classroom and at that time. I think if other bullies are like the ones in my school then I doubt they'll take it very seriously at all.closing quote
Samantha, 13, Surrey

opening quoteYes I think it definitely helps, it shows the bullies what they are doing and the extent of the damage, but it could also make things worse like it did for me.closing quote
Holly, 15, Manchester

opening quoteI do and don't think that talking helps when you are being bullied. If it's name calling and not harmful then yes you can talk it over but if the bullying is serious like being beaten up then you wouldn't be able to talk.closing quote
Emma, 13, Heanor

opening quoteI think these children who have been bullied are the bravest in the world, and sometimes children are more grown-up than adults. I think it's a wikid idea!!!closing quote
Jemima, 14, London

opening quoteI was bullied a few years ago and my school tried to make us talk. It doesn't work, it only makes the bully feel annoyed at you and gives them an excuse to pester you about that as well. A better idea is to step in if a reported bully comes within 10 meters or so of a reported victim.closing quote
John, 16, Edinburgh

opening quoteI think it is a good idea as well because you get better at it if somone told you and they were your age.closing quote
Zeinab, 12, Bolton

opening quoteI think it can help but it depends who you talk to. Some parents think older kids should sort out their own problems.closing quote
Imogen, 11, Wolverhampton



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UKOur bullying survey
Find OutHow to deal with bullying
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ClubI help bullies and victims make friends

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Past StoriesBORDER=0
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Bullied Jessica, 9, 'wanted to die'
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